Katie Night

My Little Heart Warrior

Posted on June 25, 2018March 7, 2026 by Katie Night

**WARNING**

*This is a very true story. Tissues might be needed. It was difficult to write this, but it is something that helps me express what had happen with my son and his short journey. Please, just take caution when reading.*

There are a lot of ‘Mom Blogs’ out in the web. Some talk about how to take care of a child or their experiences with their child’s first achievements in life. But I haven’t seen very many that talk about the experience of having a child with a heart disease. Let’s just say that it’s very much an emotional rollar coaster.

Well, that’s what it was for me. My son was diagnosed with HLHS (Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome) when I was 22 weeks pregnant with him. Basically, HLHS is when the left side of their heart is either underdeveloped or never formed. Once he was born, he would have to go into surgery within the first week of life.

Altogether, he would have to go through 3 major surgeries with in the first 3 years of his life. Now, I was 18 when I was pregnant with my son, Liam. Image being me at 18, and being told that there was a very big change that he wouldn’t make it. Liam’s everyday life would be either life or death.

The happy family that my fiance and I imaged had changed. We didn’t know if he would make it to his first birthday. We had so many unanswered questions. Would he be able to play sports when he gets older? Would he need a heart transplant in the future if his starts to fail? Or the big question that we wanted to know: Would he ever make it home from the hospital?

Because of how serious his disease was, we weren’t able to have him, in our state. We were recommended to go down to Boston Children’s Hospital. We were told that they deal with congenital heart defects everyday. It made me and our family feel a lot better about having Liam there.

Once Liam was born, he was the most beautiful baby boy that I ever laid eyes on. You couldn’t see that there was anything wrong with him, but on the inside, there was a struggling heart that we would of never noticed.

As soon as I hear him cry, I started to cry myself. They cleaned him up and gave him medicine, to keep the values from closing. We could only hold him for a minute before they took him up to where he needed to be.

I finally got to hold him longer, later that day. I wanted to keep holding him because I knew that once he had his surgery, it would be a very long time until we were able to hold him again. They planned for his first surgery to be on June 27th, 2016, 3 days after his birth.

My fiance and I spent the entire day with him, holding him, getting as much closeness as we could. Until, the morning of his surgery came. We walked down with him, until we got to the point we weren’t able to go past. We both kissed his and held his little fingers. Praying that god would watch over our little boy.

During that day, we got out of the hospital, trying to get our minds off of the fact that they were doing surgery on our son. I wanted to wait all day, but my fiance and I agreed it would be best to go out and get some fresh air. We got frequent updates, while Liam was in surgery. It made me feel better that someone cared enough to let us know that everything was going smoothly and that they would keep us posted until he was our of surgery.

Once they called to let us know that he was doing great, they told us that he was all set to see visitors. I was nervous and scared to see how he looked. Even when we got closer to his room, tears already started to pour down my face.

As a parent, you never want your children to go through surgery or be hooked up to anything. Seeing Liam for the first time out of surgery, was life changing. His chest wasn’t closed, they keep the chest open for a few days to make sure everything is working out fine before they close it. Every time I would go to see him, I asked that they covered his heart, just when I was in there. I don’t know why, but I felt uncomfortable.

As weeks went passed, they finally closed his chest and slowly started to take him off some medication and his breathing tube. We were finally able to hold our son again, after about 4 weeks from his surgery.

We thought that things were going great, he was able to leave the NICU and move over to what they called was ‘The Floor’, meaning that Liam still needed nurses, but not 24/7, like he did in the NICU. The doctors said that once he was able to start eating from a bottle or breast and a few other things, he would be able to go home.

Day 2, of being on ‘The Floor’, was the most horrible day of my life. The nurse had come in to give Liam his medicine and he was being fussy, so she suggested that I pick him up and rock him. All of a sudden, my worst nightmare had happen. He stopped breathing in my arms.

The nurse took him and pressed the code blue button, 7-8 other hospital staff rushed in to help, they took him back over the NICU. I followed them, shocked and frighted. My fiance rushed over to the hospital, they wouldn’t allow both parents to stay in the room together, so he had to stay at a place that was a mile away from the hospital.

My hands wouldn’t stop shaking. I didn’t know what to do, they had a nurse stay with me until my fiance got there. All I could say was, ‘he stopped breathing in my arms.’

They did CPR on him for 45 minutes until they were able to get on bypass. They didn’t know what happened. They figured it was a blood clot that blocked blood from reaching his heart. The told us that they were going to try and take him off bypass slowly and hope for the best, but if he was still on it after a week, there was a good chance that Liam wouldn’t make it.

During the time he was on bypass, Liam had brain damage, from getting CPR for too long, kidneys and liver were starting to fail. We ended up sitting down with a few doctors and his surgeon. We also got our immediate family to come up, for the support. They said that once we can get him off bypass, that they would be able to determined if he would still have brain activity, but by the looks of what they were trying to read, he had little to none brain activity.

My fiance and I looked at each other and prayed that god wouldn’t take Liam from us. He did. On July 23rd, 2016 at 4 in the morning, our son had passed away. When they took him off bypass, he was doing fine, but slowly started to decline. My fiance, his mother, my mother and I, were with him when he passed. I held him until his heart stopped beating.

Everyone I knew, their baby got to come home in their car seat, but Liam never even left the hospital. He didn’t come home in a car seat. He came home in a box. Every mother’s worst night mare.

It was really hard to write this, but I think it’s time that everyone knows that not every baby born in this world is perfectly normal. I rather tell people my experience than let every mother or soon-to-be mother think that everyone’s child is born healthy.

Because my son wasn’t born healthy. His heart disease was something that not even doctors know how it was caused. I’ve googled it thousands of times, no one know’s why HLHS happens or any congenital birth defect.

This year will be two years that Liam has been gone. I’ll never get to see him on his first birthday or see him walk or talk for the first time. He was two days shy of being a month old.

But there is one thing that I want to let everyone know. Whether your child was on this world for a day, month, or years, you can’t just get over it. People think that because Liam wasn’t even a month old, that I can just get over it.

To this day, I still cry about him, not as much as I first did, but I do still cry about him. I always will. He is my little Simba and I miss and love him so much.

On a happier note, Liam gave us a surprise from up above. We were blessed with our daughter, Isabella on October 25th 2017, our rainbow baby. I believe that he knew we were ready to be parents, as cheesy as it may sound, and gave us our healthy daughter.

Every year on his birthday, we release balloons, in honor of him. In honor of our heart warrior, our little Simba. Now, our Simba is looking down and watching over his little sister from up above.

Liam Michael (June 25th, 2016 – July 23rd, 2016)

Thank you for reading the short version about my Liam. I’m currently in the process of writing a book about the entire experience that goes more in-depth, and it talks more about what I went through during my pregnancy with Liam and the aftermath after he passed.

I’m not sure when it will be released, but I will let you all know when it does get released, as this is Liam’s 10th year he hasn’t been with us, and I’ve honestly been thinking a lot about it and really want to make it into an actual book.

Hands creating a colorful latch hook rug with yarn and latch hook tool

Arts and Crafts

Intro to Latch Hook Projects (Craft Odysseys)

Posted on June 20, 2018June 11, 2026 by Katie Night

I mentioned that I have worked with a few latch hooks, but I never went in detail on what they really are. Latch Hooks are like rugs that are made up of yarn on a grid. There are many things you can with latch hooks. I personally, like making pillows, but they are a lot of hard work.

The picture above is what a latch hook looks before you start or add on anything. Also, that is the tool you use to ‘tie on’ the yarn. Now, if you are intersected in making one of these and you are just a beginner, I recommend buying a latch hook kit. It will come with everything you need: the grid, the cut up yarn, and the hook tool.

Not all kits are the same! The picture above shows what you would get in a kit, but be warned, not all kits have their colored yarn organized perfectly like this! Some grid might actually have the print of the picture already on the grid, to help guide you through the process.

Also, if you haven’t noticed, most of the latch hook grids have multiple blue squared on them, that helps with knowing where to start, it you aren’t lucky enough to have a kit with the picture printed on the grid. Most of the squares are 10×10, by counting them, but some grid might be different and be like a 10×9 or 9×10.

The process is very simple. I didn’t think so, at first, but it is very easy to do. The picture above with show you a little better than how I explain it.

Take a piece of yarn, whatever color you need and wrap it around your hook, your latch hook tool.
Take the hook, while holding on to the yarn that is wrapped around it, and insert into the grid, just the hook and make sure that the hooks open, as shown above.
Next, take your end pieces of your yarn, remember, you still have it wrapped around you hook, and pull it into your hook, making sure that your latch hook tool flap, we will call it, doesn’t close. You have to make sure that stays open for this step!
Then, take your latch hook and pull it through that square, where you want to place the yarn. The hook tool flap will close to keep the yarn in it’s place when you pull through the square.
Last, but not least, tighten the knot and make sure it is on tight!
Once that is done, you keep repeating until the project is done!

Sorry, if I didn’t explain it very well. This picture above does a better job, but I figured I would give it a shot and try.

When you finish your project, you will noticed that you have extra strands of yarn leftover. Some kits will add more than enough to finish, other’s might give you enough to just barely finish the project. If you are like me and keep everything, keep the extra strands, just in case you need them for another project, you never know.

If the kit didn’t give you enough yarn, there is another way to get some more. You can always go to a craft store, or look online, and find the color yarn and cut it yourself, but using the size of what the kit gave you. Or, some craft stores will have the yarn cut up already for you, so if you are making the latch hook for someone, they have it for you to grab and go.

Latch Hooks is great for all ages, plus, if you are just starting to get into crafts and such, this would be the way to start out. You can do so much with latch hooks, they don’t just have to be a rug. They can be pillows, stuff animals, wall hangings, etc. They even have blank grids that you can freestyle.

The only downfall with the latch hooks, is that it can take up a lot of your time, sometimes. It’s nothing that you can pick up and finish all in one sitting, maybe if you are quick and did it all in one night, or had a small one to work with. This type of project is a pick up and finish later type of project.

Anyway, I will had a few pictures below of the latch hooks that I have finished. So far, I have made two pillows and two pillow cases. None of which have been for me, but all the ones I have given away, have loved them. Not because I did a great job, but it was something that I made for them and those are the best kinds of gifts!

If you are very intersected in wanting to make one of these, check out your local craft store. You won’t have much luck at a Walmart or Kmart, but Amazon does have a very wide selection!

Mom Talk

How to Deal With Family Drama (The Mom Odysseys)

Posted on May 19, 2018March 22, 2026 by Katie Night

Whenever I hear the term “drama”, it immediately makes me think of high school. I honestly thought that drama would be out of my life for good after I graduated high school, boy was I wrong.

There is drama almost everywhere you look. Whether its at work, social media, or family, its bound to happen at some point. The best kind of drama is when its not happening to you. However, it is very difficult to avoid or stay away from since not everyone is going to agree with you.

Family drama can cause issues and damage, depending what the issue is at hand, it might cause some to avoid or even go low contact with other family members. Like for example, I don’t talk to my father, he did a lot of bad stuff in the past that I don’t want my children around him at all. It was a decision I made for my children and myself.

Because of this, it has caused issues for other family members, which I don’t care anymore. Some people think I should forgive him and others agree with my decision and respect me more that I don’t want my children around toxic people like that.

As a parent, you’ll always have to deal with drama, whether it’s family or in-laws. You tend to deal with more if you are co-parenting. The best advise for that drama is to remain civil the best you can. I think of it as getting along for my daughter’s sake since I would rather get along versus have my daughter stress over her parents fighting.

A lot of people, like myself, will tend to not say what’s on my mind, especially to people I know can get very emotional and take to heart. I don’t do it because I have no back bone, I do it because it keeps the peace and its not something I have to stress about it.

Over time, I’ve realized that I am a recovering people pleaser which I’m trying my best to stop doing that. Its hard, especially if you are like me and want to make sure everyone gets along. (You can tell that I’m a Libra!)

Here are the top suggestions for trying to avoid the unwanted family drama:

Set Clear Boundaries – I have struggled with this one, a lot. Looking back, I wish I was more clear on what my boundaries were when it came to A LOT of things, but the past is in the past. Setting boundaries lets the other party know that this is the line and don’t go past it, but in a kind way.
COMMUNICATE – Communicate is key to any relationship! Whether it’s family, your co-parent, friends, neighbors, etc. You need to communicate directly. In a nice way, or in a way that can help you get the other party to understand.
Don’t Gossip – I know this is hard for ANYONE to do, especially when its family. When its family, its kinda hard NOT to gossip because if you don’t hear about it at all, you’ll find out or hear others gossiping about it at the family reunion or holidays. Not gossiping can help with the spread of miscommunicate. Which can have a snowball effect on its own.
Find out what triggers others to react – Especially when you are telling someone boundaries, before you react, think about what tone or words will trigger this person so that you can avoid a blowup. Before you react, count to 3 and take a deep breathe. I do this especially because I’ve react before thinking about how to say something and it doesn’t go well.

These are a few things that can help you, but don’t be upset if they don’t work. There are special cases where NOTHING works and you are stuck with trying to please a person who cannot be pleased.

One thing that helps me, is journaling. Looking back at how I felt in that moment and trying to understand how I could handle the situation differently. If its something I really don’t want to remember, I’ll rip it up or burn it and its like a sense of relief off my shoulders.

What are the best ways you have handled family drama?

Mom Talk

How To Deal With Unwanted Advice (The Mom Odysseys)

Posted on April 24, 2018March 22, 2026 by Katie Night

Once you find out your expecting your first child, its an amazing feeling! Your excited to experience being pregnant and feeling your child grow to giving birth and watching them grow. However, the moment you get pregnant, the unwanted advise will start to kick in.

Some people are very genuine, but there are others that will pull the whole, “When I was pregnant,” or “I raise my kids this way.” It can be very overwhelming and it does make you very cautious about how you will raise your kids because you’ll feel like you need to raise your kids the way they are telling you.

Best part, you don’t NEED to take their advise.

I would nod and thank them anyway. I was always raised to be kind and respectful to my elders or anyone in general. I would say usually, “Thank you for the advise, I’ll keep that in mind.” Saying something as simple as that is sweet and perfect to use.

As a mom, you will get told by everyone how to care for your child. From your family to doctors to strangers. Even before the baby’s born, you will be told how to even take care of yourself.

What’s important is what’s best for YOU. If you aren’t sure about something, whether when you are pregnant or kids, ask your provider, they would know what is best. Of course you can always go to your mom, but if you really are unsure, going to a professional would be the best advise that you can get.

When I was first pregnant with my son, I wasn’t as vocal as I wanted to be. It was all new, exciting, and I was scared shitless. I was worrying about all the wrong things that could happen with the pregnancy, especially with it being my first. I was even more overwhelmed when I found out my son was going to have a heart condition.

Even when they knew about his heart condition, I still got the unwanted advise. I don’t think many people understood that with his heart condition, it was all together going to be a different situation. I just kept to myself and thanked them anyway since I was more worried about if my son was going to make it.

My daughter, it was completely different. I put my foot down to a lot of stuff. I’m still trying to make sure that peoples advice doesn’t change the way I want to raise my kids. Plus, we as moms, get judged on everything.

With my more recent daughter, I did get some advise, but honestly I did take most of it in consideration since there has been a huge gap between my oldest daughter, to my youngest and there had been a lot of changes since she was little.

To me, I will take the advice into consideration, but if it’s something that I, as a parent, will not do to parent my child, then I speak up. Sometimes, I can’t speak up to others about this because I’m afraid of hurting their feelings, but I have learned that when it comes to you parenting your kids, the only feeling that matters is your kids and yours.

There are three ways you can handle unwanted advise:

Ignoring it – This is what I usually do, if a stranger were to approach me with unwanted advise. I usually will nod my head. Sometimes, I do it with family, its easier to do, if you don’t want to make a big deal out or you know it will turn into a giant fight, this would be your best go to.
Speaking up, in a polite way – If you are a person that voices your opinion, but don’t want to offend anyone. This would be more towards close friends, maybe family. Telling them in a polite way, will make it seem not as harsh as bluntly coming out and telling them what is what.
Bluntly telling them straight up – I only go this far, if I’m frustrated. If I have had a bad day and didn’t have any coffee, I snap. I usually will only snap at family, because they have been in my shoes. Plus they understand that they would rather me snap at them versus my kids.

There is one thing that we always need to keep in mind. How we parent our kids, may not be the same as other, but we should respect how others parent. The world we live in now, there are too many people judging before they know the full story, but when it comes to advise, we need to handle it as we feel comfortable.

Mom Talk

Why You Shouldn’t Smoke Around Your Children (The Mom Odysseys)

Posted on April 23, 2018March 22, 2026 by Katie Night

Back in the day, we didn’t know how bad smoking cigarettes can be. Now, you don’t see any commercials promoting cigarettes or tobacco. If you do, its very rare to see an add for cigarettes. No matter how much people hate it, there are people who still smoke today and I don’t think it will go away anytime soon.

I’ll admit, I have tried a cigarette a few times, but thankfully it wasn’t something I got addicted to. It also helped that most of my family didn’t smoke around us either, which made me grateful I didn’t get into that. I’m actually shocked that I didn’t start smoking when I was living with my ex, who ask smoked as well as his family.

Even though I have never became addicted to it, I could see how difficult it is to try and quit. I watched my ex tried to quit, but would always cave when his family was around because they still smoked. He almost had quit for a full year before our daughter was born to then give it up the day after we had her.

Back in the day, people were smoking all the time with kids around. In public places or in their own homes. No one realized the dangers until more research was done to show and prove that they can kill you faster than eating fast food every day. They also found out that second hand smoke was just as bad as smoking the cigarette.

Which is why I will keep my kids away from cigarette smoke as much as I can. Smoking is a bad habit, but you shouldn’t make others or your children have to deal with your habit. I know so many people I went to high school where if they lived in a household where their parents smoked, 9 times out of 10, I saw them pick up the same habit.

Even when you are in another room or holding up the cigarette away from the child, they can still inhale the second hand smoke. Especially in a car. Rolling down the windows WILL NOT prevent the smoke from getting to the child. Thankfully in Maine, you can get fined for smoking in the car with any minor under 15 or 16.

As a mother, who had a child with a heart condition, it’s even more fatal. I’m one of those moms that will not go into a house or car if it smells like cigarette smoke. I was never around it and I want my kids to not be around it.

I will be making sure that my kids don’t get into that awful habit. My daughter knows whenever she sees a cigarette to think of it as a ‘cancer stick’. Since one of the possibilities with smoking can be getting cancer from it.

I’ve lost family members because of their smoking habits, I don’t want to risk my children’s life just because someone needs to have a cigarette.

Mom Talk

Being a Stay-At-Home Mom (The Mom Odysseys)

Posted on April 21, 2018March 22, 2026 by Katie Night

A lot of moms don’t have the pleasure to stay home with their children nowadays. In order just to live, you need both parents income and even that can barely keep you afloat. Even then its still a struggle to afford daycare on top of all the other bills as well.

Back in the day, the husband would be out working, while the wife stayed home to care for the kids, keeping the house clean and in order, and as well as making sure that there was a cooked meal ready for when the husband got home.

Being a stay-at-home mom isn’t for everyone. I honestly never really thought about being a stay-at-home mom much until after I had lost my son and got pregnant with my daughter that I didn’t want to miss out on her growing up and reaching milestones that I would never get to experience with my son.

After I had her, I knew I would have a very difficult time leaving her when I had to go back to work. So, her father and I decided that being a stay-at-home mom would be the best thing for not only me, but it would save us on having to pay for childcare as well.

At the time, I didn’t have my license and the only places I could walk were just to my mother-in-laws, which I didn’t do much because we lived on a very busy street. Not to mention, I was living in a trailer park that also wasn’t close to any store at all either.

We did have a mini backyard that I had a swing that I could go out on, which was nice to have, but I felt very alone during the day and even more at night. Since my daughters father worked night shift, I barely had time with him during the day before he had to leave for work.

I did feel very alone, even though I was with my daughter, I felt so alone. The social interaction I would get from her father, was more of what bills need to be paid, what groceries we needed, and what we were going to do the weekend. I felt like I was on zombie mode.

Which is why I started to get into blogging more and even had a pen pal that I would e-mail just to stay sane. Sure, I had my family I could call and text, which I did often, but they didn’t really understand what struggles a stay-at-home mom can go through.

I become very depressed after the 2nd year of being a stay-at-home mom. I loved being able to spend time with my daughter and watching her grow up and learn new things, but I also hated being stuck and alone most of the day.

Thankfully, I did manage to get out at least once a week when my mom would come on Sundays. We would do our usual visit to see my great-grandmother or do something fun for the day either visiting family or shopping or just getting out of the house.

The sad part was, the moment I got home, I was alone again.

My depression got so bad to a point that I didn’t think I’d ever get to the point of not being here. However, the voice in my head kept telling me, “your daughter needs you.” That was the thing that kept me going, but it also terrified me of how she would have to cope if I went through with it.

Thankfully, my mom helped me get myself out of the tunnel of darkness and back on my feet. After the 3rd year of being a stay-at-home mom, I got a job and started working again.

After that, I moved in with her, got my license, bought my first car, and worked on myself within the first 6 months of leaving my ex. As much as I loved spending all the time in the world with my daughter, I was slowly losing myself.

I never regret being a stay-at-home mom because my daughter and I had lots of fun and she always made me smile, especially on my bad days. If I had to go back and do it again, I think I would, but I would find a remote job so that I didn’t loose my mind completely.

Being a stay-at-home mom is hard, but the memories and watching your child grow up and hit milestones, is priceless. I really wish we didn’t live the way that we did so that more mother’s could experience it for themselves for at least the first year.

I wish I did that with my youngest daughter that I had back in February of this year, but with how my current living situation is, it would be difficult to do. I did take a longer maternity leave with this one, but ended up going back to work shortly after.

Overall, choosing to be a stay-at-home mom has is ups and downs, however, it is up to you to see if that lifestyle is something for you. After being back in the workforce, I personally wouldn’t be able to do it again, unless I was working from home.

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