Good Morning my dearies! Ready for Chapter 3? Well, here it is as our usual Monday thing that we do on my blog!
If you haven’t read Chapter 2, here is the link!
*Warning* There may be some mature content. I did write this back in high school, so this isn’t my very best work! I do believe there is a few dirty scenes, so read at your own risk! And of course enjoy!
~Does He Love Me?~
I decided that I didn’t want to sit and mope about my mother. So, I decided to go get some coffee. I ordered the same thing every time, Mocha Frappe. I ended up siting down, at the Cafe, and going through my Facebook. God, everyone was just so bitchy. I really do hate social media. It’s only good for one thing, starting drama. It makes me think of my old high school days, fighting about boys, looks, preps, and trying to state your opinion.
Honestly, I’m glad that I had James and Savannah by my side, otherwise, I wouldn’t have been able to make it through high school. Speaking of VanVan, I might as well text her. I was just about to text her until my phone started to ring. It was my mother, again.
“Doesn’t she get that I don’t want to talk.” I said silently to myself.
“Ignoring someone?” A familiar voice spoke and as I looked up from my phone, Tanner had already sat down next to me with a cup of coffee in his hand.
“Oh, hi, Tanner.” I said. Didn’t he get that this was totally awkward? Well, for me it is because, since I am a normal human being, I respect myself and don’t go bragging about who I slept with.
“Hello, Jade. So, who is being ignored, by a beauty, such as yourself.”
“Actually, it’s called, ‘ignoring my mother because she apparently thinks that it’s okay to not tell me things, such as the truth.” I looked up at Tanner, but I didn’t notice how beautiful his eyes were.
“Well, if it makes you feel any better, my parents walked out on us, almost 3 years ago.”
“I’m so sorry about that. Have they made any contact to you?” I felt bad, knowing that his parents walked out on him and his little sister. I can’t imagine that happening to me.
“I’m here, if you want to talk about parenting problems.”
“No, I’m fine.”
“Yes, I’m fine. Can you just stop asking me if I’m fine?” God, this guy is caring way too much about me. Homeboy is getting attached.
“Okay, calm down, I’ll stop.” I was glad that he stopped and took a sip of my iced coffee. “The real reason why I came over was because Marie wants to do a double-date. Her and James, and I’ll be your date. James is all on board with the idea.” A double-date?? With HIM?? I just wanted one night of fun, not a serious relationship. Not yet, anyway.
“No thanks, I’ve got a boyfriend.” I lied.
“Really now? You suddenly have a boyfriend now? It was less than a week ago that we slept together.” My eyes widen. What did I ask him to do? Never to mention this! Fuck!
“Don’t say another word about that night. It was a drunken mistake. Just forget about it.” I said and got up and walked out of the Cafe and over to my Jeep. Of course, Tanner follows me right out to my car.
“Wait, Jade. That’s the thing, I can’t stop thinking about that night or you.” I stopped in my path. Oh, god. I turned to face him. God, his eyes were so dreamy. I then went ahead and spoke.
“You need to. It was a mistake. If you want a booty call, go ask the neighborhood sluts, not me.” I then turned back around and got into my car. He then came over to the drivers side window. Was he not fucking done talking?
“Why are you pushing me away? I know you felt something for me, that night. You can’t lie about that.” I couldn’t. It was true. Even though, I didn’t remember the full night, some parts aren’t too blurry. Being with him that night, was honestly, the happiest I’ve been in a long time. I didn’t want to feel good. I just wanted to have fun and being in a relationship, right now, is not the plan.
“I’m sorry, I have to go. I’m not doing this, Tanner.” I said as he backed away from the car and I pulled away. God, why does love hurt so much? Plus it’s also so confusing.
I then drove back to the house. James was home, but I wasn’t in the mood to talk to him. I then walked to the shore. I took my shoes off and sat down on the sand and felt the cold ocean water touch my toes. This was my only escape. The beach. Honestly, the only reason why I lived next to my mother, was because she lived by the beach as well.
But, what’s wrong with me? Why can’t I stop thinking about Tanner and James? I love James, but Tanner doesn’t want to be, just my friend. What if I give him a chance? Will it be weird? I know better than that to fall in love. I’ve made that mistake once, and he still doesn’t know. But, what if he loves me? I just wish that everything was back to normal. Mom was single and not pregnant, James wasn’t talking to other girls, and Mandy and Dad were alive and well.
I was thinking so hard that I forgot to notice that there was someone behind me, which, by the way, scared the shit out of me.
“Well, JJ. What’s wrong, girl?” I knew that voice. It was Savannah, my other best friend. She sat down next to me and gave me a side hug. “I’m sorry I couldn’t make it to your party, last week.”
“I know, it’s fine. How’s Ricky?” I smiled. She then looked at me and smiled back. “He’s doing good, but he misses his auntie.” I laughed.
“Well, of course he does! I’m the cool aunt that gives him everything that you can’t.” I smiled, she knew I was joking around.
“Well, at least you want to make an effort to see him.”
“Still no word from Connor?”
“Nope. He never wanted a kid to begin with.” I hated Connor from the moment I met him.
Connor DeVoid was a player and a spoiled brat. His parents would let him get away with anything. He would also have the biggest parties in high school. He still does now, but he moved to L.A., to get away from his duties of being a father. What really made me and Savannah hate him even more, was that his parents tried to PAY Savannah to get an abortion. I knew Savannah couldn’t do that. Ever since we were little, she would always talk about being a mother, someday. She did, and still is today.
After a little long silent pause, Savannah looked up at me and I knew what she was about to ask. “So what’s going on with your Mom?” I knew it. James spilled the beans to her about me being upset about my mom. The good thing about having James as a friend, was that he would never lied about what was going on.
“Well, you know how I moved out 5 months ago?”
“Yeah, what about it?”
“Come to find out that my mom has been seeing this guy, ‘Frank’, for over a year now. And that they decided to not tell me that they were engaged or that they were planning on eloping until last week.”
“What?! Your mother isn’t like that.” Savannah looked as surprised as I were when I found out.
“I know, but to top it all off.” I paused and looked at the ocean to find someone sailing by on a sail boat. “She’s also 5 months pregnant with twins.” Savannah’s month dropped.
“OH MY GOD! Are you serious, right now?!”
“Yup. I found out all of that, last week. That’s why I didn’t answer you very much on the night of the party.”
“Ah, that’s why. James ended up texting me that you were fine, but forget about that, how was the party?”
“It was a fun-hungover-blurry night. I met someone, too.”
“Well, I don’t remember much, but I did get really drunk and had sex with Marie’s, older brother.” I then covered my face in shame.
“Wait, James Marie??”
“Yes…” I said very quietly.
“Jade!” Savannah shouted.
“Does James know?”
“Well, for fucks sake! I thought you loved James?”
“I do, it’s just, he doesn’t like me that way and I was too drunk not to say no.”
“What are you feeling now? About everything?” When she asked me that, I didn’t know what to say. I loved James, but Tanner makes me feel, I don’t know…special.
“I actually don’t know.” Then my phone went off. It was a text from Tanner. I forgot that I gave him my number the morning after the party.
Tanner: Hey, you busy tonight? I was wondering if you wanted to hit up the club tonight. No funny business, I promise.
“Speak of the devil. Who is it?” Savannah asked. I frowned and showed her the message. She looked up at me and smiled. “Go out tonight. Have a good time and I promise that I will make a day where it is just us.”
“I really don’t-” Savannah stopped what I was saying and helped me up. “No, you are going. Now, get something nice on and go have fun! I’ve got to go, but I will text you tomorrow for the details of last night.”
We hugged each other and I walked her to her car and then went inside to get ready to go clubbing with Tanner. I texted him saying to pick me up at 7. I’m just wondering how tonight will play out. I breathed and then said to myself, don’t make the same mistake last time.
As soon as Savannah left, I took a sip of wine and then went upstairs to get ready. I thought that tonight would be a good night to wear a dress. Hey, I felt like dressing sexy, nothing wrong with that other than people judging you, but at this point, I couldn’t give two shits. I just wanted to get drunk tonight and see what happens with Tanner.
Once I was done getting ready, I went into the kitchen and poured myself a glass of wine and sat down at the island, while I waited for Tanner to come and get me.
“So, someone’s going out tonight, I see.” James said as he came in and grabbed a beer out of the fridge. “You going out with Savannah?”
“Nope, actually I’m going out with Tanner, tonight. Savannah couldn’t, she had to leave because she got a call from the babysitter that Ricky wasn’t feeling good.” When I mentioned Tanner’s name, he froze.
“Oh, um, why are you going out with him?” He looked a little upset, but if he was upset, he was hiding it pretty well. But why the hell did he care, now? He didn’t seem to when he found out that we fucked, about a week ago.
“Well, since you and Marie are dating now, I thought that I should get to know him a little better. He seems like a nice guy. Don’t you think?” I took another sip of my wine.
“I guess. I don’t really know him well enough. Just be careful tonight, okay?” He looked worried and I nodded. Then I heard Tanner’s car pull up to our house. I heard a car door slam. Oh, great. He decided to come in and make the whole situation awkward.
“Well, looks like he’s here. I’ll see you later.” I said as I finished the last bit of wine and started walking to the door. I saw Tanner, who looked rather hot this evening. He smiled when he saw me as I opened the door.
“Wow, you look,” He paused for a moment and then pulled out a rose from behind his back. “Beautiful.”
I felt my face warming up when he handed me the rose and our skin touched each others. Oh, god, I’m blushing so much!
“T-Thank you, but is it okay for me to got put this in a vase? You can come in and sit on the couch while I go take care of this.” I asked and Tanner came in and sat down on the couch.
“Yeah, that’s fine, but hurry up, I’ve got the car running.” As soon as he said that, I found a vase and placed the single rose in the vase. God, this reminded me of my dad. He used to give us girls roses every year for Valentines Day. Even when Valentine’s Day was on a school day, he used to call Mandy and I down to the office and hand us our roses.
I placed the vase on my bed-stand and walked back out to the living. Come to find out that Marie was here. Why is she here? I frowned, but then took a deep breath and placed a smile on my face. Marie was sitting next to James, but once Tanner saw me coming down the hall, he got up and walked over to the door.
“Ready?” He smiled and I nodded my head. We then both got into his car and drove to the only nightclub in town.
“I wonder what time they’ll be home by?” Marie said as we were cuddling in my bedroom. It was nice to have Marie around. We have so much in common, but there’s one problem, Jade.
I’ve started to get feelings for Jade our Junior year in high school. The only reason why I haven’t told her my feelings, is because I don’t want to lose her or this friendship. I just wished I wasn’t so scared to tell her.
I looked up at Marie and smiled. “I’m not sure, but the clubs will start to close soon, anyway.” Marie then smiled back at me.
“Hey, James?” She spoke after a few minutes of silence.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Of course. What is it?” I asked. I wonder what she’s thinking?
“Well, I was wondering why you haven’t kissed me yet.” Marie sat up and so did I, but we have only been going out for almost a week. I was planing on kissing her for the first time tonight, but ever since Jade has gone out with Tanner, tonight, I kinda just want go to sleep and forget the night.
“Well,” I said, “I was waiting for the perfect moment.”
That was a lie. Well, not completely, but I’m just not in the mood for romantic stuff tonight. Come on, Jade, get back home.
Marie turned and faced me. “Well, how about we make this night a perfect moment.” The she closed her eyes and she came closer to my face. Fuck! I can’t kiss her! Then I heard a door open and Jade’s high heels clicking against the floor. Well it’s about time she’s home.
“I-I’m HOMEEE, BITCHES!” Jade shouted and then tripped walking on the carpet. Tanner was trying to keep her steady, but when Jade’s drunk, that’s impossible. Believe me, I know.
“I’m guessing your drunk?” I said as I looked up at Jade. She smiled and then fell down again. Tanner then picked her up and handed her to me.
“D-drunker than a s-skunk!” She then burped and then rested her head on my neck. It felt perfect. I quickly snapped out of it and looked at Marie.
“Well, I got to take care of her, but I will talk to you tomorrow?” I asked and she nodded and kissed me on the check. I then started to walk down the hall to the bathroom and laid her on the floor. I knew she was going to start puking soon. “I’ll be right back with some water, okay?” She nodded and rested her arms around the toilet seat.
I then walked out of the bathroom to find Tanner still here. I thought he would’ve been gone by now. “What are you still doing here?” I asked.
“We need to talk about Marie.” He said. Now what? I thought he was fine will Marie and I dating?
“You need to stop this before it gets worse.”
“Stop what?” What the hell was he talking about?
“You need to break up with Marie. I don’t want her to be with someone who is going to lead her on, when you are in love with someone else.”
“What? I’m not in love with someone else. Leave, now.”
“Not until you break up with my sister, now.” He said as I could hear Jade starting to puke. “She’s in the car. I’ll take care of Jade.” I stopped right in front of him. “Move out of the way.”
“No. She is my best friend, I’ll take care of her.” He looked pissed off.
“What about my sister?” He asked I heard Jade puking even louder. I turned around, so my back was facing him. “Just tell her it’s over.” I then walked into the bathroom. Jade was laying on the floor and as soon as I walked in, she smiled.
“How are you feeling?” I asked as I helped her up.
“B-better, can you come w-with me to m-my r-room?” I nodded and she then walked out of the bathroom to her room. “W-wait, o-outside.”
I sat outside her room, waiting for what was going to happen next. My phone went off and it was a text message from Marie. I’ll answer her later, right now, Jade is the only important thing. When I looked up from my phone, Jade came out of here room and was only in her bra and underwear. She looked beautiful, but I know that I shouldn’t take advantage of her like that. She then posed in a some-what sexy drunken pose.
“Y-you like what you s-see?” she spoke. Of course I did, but I didn’t want to do something that she might regret in the morning.
“I’m gonna head to bed, now. So, sleep tight and I’ll see you in the morning.” I said as she frowned. I then left her room and climbed into bed. Why did she had to be drunk? I just didn’t want to take advantage of her. I then turned my alarm on and closed my eyes.
I started to fall asleep, but I felt someone get in the blankets and on top of me. I looked up, it was Jade.
“What are you doing, Jade? Go back to bed.” I said as she then placed a finger over my mouth. she leaned in closer and said: “Don’t talk. Just k-kiss me.”
When her lips touched mine, it was like sparks. I couldn’t get enough of it. This was the first time that Jade and I have ever kissed. I just didn’t think it would feel this good. I then flipped her on her back on my bed and kissed her again. She would laugh when I would place kisses on her neck. I loved her laugh.
She then started to take off my shirt. I stopped and looked at her beautiful eyes. “Are you sure you want to continue?” I asked.
Jade brought my head down to hers, our lips, almost touching and then she spoke.
“I’ve b-been wanting this for a l-long time.” I smiled and she smiled back. “Now, shut up and kiss me!”
I did what she said to do. I couldn’t believe that I was going to make love to the woman that I’ve loved for 7 years.
Tune in next Monday for chapter 4! If you aren’t so patient and want to read the rest, check out the rest of ‘Unclear’ on Wattpad. Just look up my username, katieasehl!
Chapter 4: What’s Wrong With Me?