Tag: family

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: What To Do If You Are Stuck In Life

Posted on by Katie Night

Hey Dearies, long time no see. I know I have been MIA for a little bit, but I’m going back to blogging. I just switched jobs, so I have been adjusting to that and trying to come up with a game plan on what I want to do in life.

Lately, I’ve been in a funk, like I know what I want, but I’ve been putting everything on hold for some weird reason, that I don’t know why. I want to make changes in my life, but I don’t know where to start.

Since last year, my brain has been on planet crazy, from learning to co-parent with my ex, raising my daughter, learning how to find myself, going to college, and trying to have some what of a social life. It hasn’t been an easy process for me to do so.

My goal for this new year is simple: Find my purpose is life.

When I mean that, I want to find out what I want to do in life for a career. Something that has always been a question or mystery to me. I want to find my passion in life and actually do it as a career. It doesn’t help that my mind changes what I want all the time, so there’s that to work on.

So, hence why I am stuck in life, right now. I want to be able to do something that I can’t wait to wake up and do. Right now, my current job is great! No problems with it at all and the best part of it, is that I can work from home, which is a HUGE plus since I’ve been trying to do that for awhile now.

However, I like that I get social interaction with actual human beings. I’m not really one for making friends, I’m usually very quiet and keep to myself. I’ve learned it’s easier to do so until you feel comfortable.

Anyway, you are probably wondering what my point is about all of this. Everyone hits a dead end or a fork in the road when it comes to life. I realized it the other day when I looked at my daughter. I wanted to be able to spend more time with my daughter or at least do more for her. I have my license and a car, so the door is open for more possibilities.

Plus, hopefully, if all goes well, my daughter will be starting pre-k this fall, I want to spend this beginning of the year and the summer, making memories with her before she goes off to school. As much as I’m not ready for this, it’s going to happen sooner than later because that’s what our children do, grow up on us.

So, what do you do when you feel like you are stuck?

Anwser to that is different for everyone, but it starts with the simple thing of searching online the different careers you have thought about or a career quiz to find out what is recommended for your skills.

This might seem silly, but it will help you navigate through different skills, hobbies, and interests. Basically, narrowing down what careers would suit you or what might interest you because of those things.

After that, look into what would take to get you to your dream job.

For me, I have a lot of thoughts for what I want to do in life: teacher, medical coding and billing, artist, small business owner, accountant, and writer.

So far, I haven’t decide what I want to do, but I did try the path for medical coding and billing and it really wasn’t for me. After answering patient calls for the past year, I’ve been over the medical field in general. I am glad that I got to learn what it is like to know how a doctor’s office works.

You are probably wondering what my next step is, well, I have no idea, but I know one thing for sure is that I want to be creative, whether it is writing or using my creativity to sell something that people will buy, I won’t know until I try and see what happens.

Let me know in the comments if you have ever been or felt stuck in life.

Don’t worry, I’ll be back soon with a new post, I’ve got some things I’ll be working on this weekend.

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Self Healing

Posted on by Katie Night

Hey Dearies, I know it has been off and on blog posts lately and with everything that has happened in my personal life, I’ve been very lost and overwhelmed. It’s especially hard when this year marks 5 years that my son has been gone.

Which is why I wanted to take a moment to let you all know what I have been doing or trying to do to get myself in a better place where I need to be.

First thing first, I wanted to give everyone a thought to keep in mind because it can be difficult to actually accept it, trust me, it took me a while to realize that in order to be happy, you have to take the time to not only love yourself, but taking the extra time to spend time with yourself.

A lot of people, when they leave a relationship, most of them are quick to jump into another one because they think that having someone is what makes you happy, which if you believe that, all power to you.

I believe that happiness comes from within and it isn’t something you find in a person. Yes, you can be happy with someone, but that person can’t be the only reason that makes you happy. Being happy in a relationship and being happy as yourself are two different things.

So, since I left my daughter’s father, I’ve been trying my best to work on things, such as trying to figure out what in my life that I wanted to change and fix. One of the things that I wanted to start doing was to learn how to love myself.

How to truly love yourself?

Loving yourself can be a lot harder said than done because we are all human and we like to point out the flaws in ourselves so that we can fix them. The one thing that a lot of people have trouble with learning to love about themselves is there appearance.

I for one have had a very difficult time learning to love myself. Even growing up, I was very unhappy with my body. I would tell myself I was too fat. I would look at the smaller girls and wish to be that size so that I would be confident in myself more.

Now, as an adult, I still struggle because I’ve always been “fat” and even though I have started to lose some of the weight that I have been trying to get rid of, I still look at myself in the mirror and see myself as fat.

So, what is something I have been doing to change this?

Well, I’ll be honest, the one thing that I think has been helping me with the weight lost, is that I have been drinking more water, watching how much I eat and what I eat, and trying to do some type of exercise, whether it is yoga or walking.

I didn’t realize how small I was until about a week ago when my co-workers noticed how much weight I have lost since I first started working there. When I did, I felt proud of myself. I felt comfortable, well almost, in my own skin. I even felt confident enough to take a picture of myself in just my undergarments because I actually felt confident.

After having kids, you tend to pack on or keep some of the weight and it can be difficult to get rid of. Now that I’ve seen the change, I have motivation to do more, exercise and working out because I want to stay healthy, but I want to actually stay that size.

Do I truly love myself? I would say almost, well for me. Like I’ve said before, change isn’t something that will happen overnight.

Hobbies: Making extra “me” time

As you all know, I love to crochet and don’t get me wrong, it is one of my favorite hobbies, but depending on what projects I have going on, it’s not something I can do all the time. I also have to be in the mood to crochet as well.

Crocheting isn’t just my only hobby, but it is my go to for sure. My other hobbies that I do from time to time are knitting, writing, painting, and reading. Sometimes I have time for them, other’s I have to make the time.

It’s okay to have more than one hobby too. I even have hobbies that I want to try, but haven’t had the time to start, such as resin molds. I watch a lot of those videos and it looks like fun to try, same with candle and soap making! Trying new things is good thing and it can open doors to meet others with the same passion.

Daily Habits: What to try?

I wanted to bring up daily habits because I have been struggling to attempt to do them. One of the daily habits that I really need to get back into is mediation. I found that doing mediation after work or even early in the morning, kind of refreshes my brain and clears my head of all the thoughts running around.

I want to start doing in once in the morning and once at night, but being a mom, it can be tricky to figure out the best schedule to do so.

Another habit that I have been trying to stay on top of, is journaling more. I love writing and I have found that journaling, whether it is typing or handwriting, putting my emotions and thoughts down, can make it easier for you to figure out the best way to handle it or at least make you not so worried.

They say that if you do something for more that 30-60 days, the habit will be like second nature for you. Which is why I’ve been looking for apps to help me out with staying on task, but I haven’t found one that I like, yet.

Get out of the house more!

Another thing that I’m trying to work on, is being more out of the house. Whether it is to go to work, hang out with friend, or even go to the store. Getting out of the house, is a good thing. Yes, I am one of those that would rather stay home than go somewhere, but I’m learning to be more open about going out and spending time with friends or myself.

I don’t have very many friends, so I’m working on making some and going out more with them because everyone needs to have a social life. Yeah, we all have social media, but it’s more fun to spend time with people in person.

Even if you have a date, get dressed up and make yourself feel pretty and just enjoy life! Life is short and realizing that I haven’t done much since my son passed away, I want to learn to enjoy life more.

Currently, I’m iffy about the whole “dating scene”. Which is okay. A lot of people have asked me, “are you going to start dating again?” and to be honest, I really don’t know. I don’t think I’m ready. I even pushed myself to get on a dating app and I ended up deleting it an hour later.

Don’t rush into anything, if you aren’t ready.

In the future, if I feel comfortable and ready, then yes, I might start dating again, but I think I want a chance to be single and enjoy putting myself first. I will admit, I do miss the comfort of having someone to talk to and cuddle with, but love will come to be when I don’t expect it to.

There is nothing wrong with putting yourself first and making sure that you are happy, both mentally and physically. As parents, we put our kids first and forget about our well being and making sure we are okay.

Take the time to put yourself first because in the end, we are all human and we just need to take it day by day.

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Don’t Stay For The Kids

Posted on by Katie Night

I watched my mother for years stay with my father. Even though I didn’t really understood what was going on, but as I got older, I realized that my mom was only with my father for my siblings and I. You could see her put on that fake smile just to make sure that us kids didn’t know what was going on, but we knew.

I knew, I was the oldest and watched my mom put on this front that everything was okay, but she was slowly drifting herself down a hole just to keep the presents of a ‘happy family’ alive for us.

Well, I ended up doing the same thing my mom did, but my story is different.

As you know, I have been with the same guy for awhile and ended up having 2 beautiful children as well. However, over time, things started to change. I felt like I was putting up this front to pretend to be who I really was.

Everytime I looked in the mirror, I didn’t see myself anymore. I felt different and that can happen after having a child, you change completely just for your kid. Usually with the right partner, can be the happily ever after, but that’s not what was happening.

I’m not going to go into details about our breakup because the details are between me and my child’s father. Unfortunately, some of the people round us are very noisy and don’t understand as to why we broke up in the first place.

I realized about a year ago, if not more, that I wasn’t happy and that the only thing that kept me from leaving was our daughter. I felt like I had to stay with him because I didn’t want to ruin my daughter’s view of a ‘happy family’. Or I had to stay because that is what was the right thing to do, instead it made me realize that this was something I wasn’t just doing to myself, but to my daughter as well.

I was teaching her that it was okay to stay in an unhappy relationship.

Now, my daughter is 3, but the kids know, the sense it. I don’t know how, but they do. My daughter would give me a hard time knowing that she sensed something was up between Mommy and Daddy.

Kids aren’t stupid, they know what is going on and that’s what made me realized I had to make a change, not just for me, but for my daughter. I didn’t want her to group up and watch her follow in the same foot steps that I ended up walking in.

So, I made a change for 2021.

This year, I’m focusing on getting myself to a better place. Getting back to the real me, the one that I used to love and used to not give a shit about whatever I do. The me that I haven’t been able to embrace for a long time.

So, don’t stay because you have a family, you should want to stay with your spouse because they not only are the love of your life, but you both make a great team together and are the best of friends.

Don’t just put up with it because you have the family. You have to love yourself before you can expect anyone else to love you in return. Embrace your inner weirdo!

As for me, I’m taking it one step at a time and one day at a time. You never know what the future can hold, but I plan on being or trying to be positive for

Posted in Writing Works

Finally Free – Friday’s Short Stories

Posted on by Katie Night

Finally Free

Hey Dearies! So, this one is another short story based on an idea or prompt! This one inspired me or gave me the idea from Safe Haven, but with a different twist to it. This one has mentions of abuse, so if you are triggered by that, please don’t read! 

What would freedom really be for those who are trapped?

Hailey didn’t know what freedom was until she got dropped off at the docks of Hawaii. She had finally left the pain and hurt that had been damaging her for years. She never thought that she would have to be on the run, but she figured being in Hawaii would give herself and her ex more distance between each other.

She looked around in amaze as she took a deep breath of her new surroundings. Picking up her bag pack that only held a few essentials that he grabbed in rush from leaving Kevin. She shook her head as she wandered around the street, she was amazed at the beautiful view of the ocean.

Hailey had always wanted to come to Hawaii, but after high school, her plans completely changed. They had especially changed since she met Kevin. The worse regret of her life. If she would’ve known what he would’ve been like before she had got with him, she would’ve run for her life.

Now she is running for her life.

Discouraging the thought of Kevin, something caught her eyes, as she watched him walk by. He looked familiar to her and it took her only a second to realize it was him, the real reason why she ran to Hawaii, all because of Ethan Brooks.

Her heart started to beat faster as he gazed into her eyes and stopping right in front of her.

“Hailey? Is that really you?” Her heart dropped, he still remembers her. Especially, since it’s been almost 3 years since she last saw him.

She was silent, a tear had fallen from her cheek, as she didn’t expect to cry in front of him. Instead of walking away from him, Ethan embraced her in his arms, holding her tightly. It made her feel safe and at home.

They stood there for a few minutes before Ethan pulled away from his embrace and took another look at her. Even though was in Hawaii, Hailey didn’t dress like she was comfortable. Wearing jeans and a tank top with a sweater covering her arms and zipped up to her neck.

Ethan noticed the bruise that slowly healing on her neck. Once he noticed that, he noticed other bruises of hers that were now more noticeable. “Walk with me, my beach house isn’t that far from here.” He grabbed her hand and took her bag of hers, throwing it over her shoulder, as he led to his beach house that was down the street from the boardwalk.

As soon as they got into Ethan’s beach house, Hailey was shocked at the place that she was in. She never knew that Ethan was rich, but he sure lived like it. She then took a view of the balcony that showed over the ocean, waves crashing onto the beach. It was heaven to her.

“Why didn’t you meet up with me that night?” Ethan spoke, he wasn’t going to catch up with her once he saw her bruises. Hailey beats herself up over not leaving to go with Ethan. She had met him in a nightclub, it was right after she 21, she went out with her friends to celebrate.

Hailey was talking to Kevin, but she was single when she met Ethan. When they danced, they clicked just like that and she followed him home where they had an amazing time. He told her he was leaving to go back to Hawaii and he wanted to take her with him, but before she could, she tried to explain it to Kevin, but it ended badly.

Hailey didn’t want to think about it, but she had to give Ethan an answer. “It’s harder for me to explain.” She spoke, turning to face him, tears fell from her eyes. “You don’t want to know what he did to me.”

Ethan, hugged her again, she hugged him back as she tried to maintain her crying, but it came out like waterfalls. “I’m sorry. I wanted to. I was ready to go and then he found out-”

“You don’t need to explain. You’re here with me now, aren’t you?” Ethan smiled, wiping her tears away as she gave him a smile in return. “Feel free to stay with me. I’m gonna make you something to eat, why don’t you go take a shower.”

Haily nodded as Ethan showed her the bathroom, giving her a set of sweat pants and shirt, then handing her a towel before walking out into the kitchen.

Hailey shut them down and started to strip out of her old clothes and looked at her naked self in the mirror, the black and blue bruises that were up and down on her body. She turned and looked at the deep scar that planted down her back, that hadn’t started to heal.

That scar was what gave her strength to leave Kevin.

After her shower, she got dressed in the clothes Ethan gave her and then headed into the kitchen, he was just finishing up cooking burgers. Her stomach growled, she hadn’t had anything since she left California except a cereal bar.

They ate together in silence. As Hailey was washing the dirty dishes, Ethan noticed the scar on her back, he was shocked at how bad the situation she was in. He turned her around, which scared her, she gazed into his eyes.

Ethan leaned his forehead against hers and studied her eyes, kissing her forehead. “I promise I won’t let anything bad happen to you. Stay with me.” He promised as Hailey was in shock, but it felt so right. She then nodded and then went to kiss his cheek, but Ethan turned his head, having her miss his cheek and plant a kiss onto his lips instead.

They kissed for a second, Hailey’s heart fluttered as she missed his kiss. Ethan pulled her closer and held her close, as they both had missed each other, more than they had known. In his arms, it was like wrapping yourself in a heavy blanket.

In the next few days, Ethan and Hailey caught up on what they missed in each other lives. The more time they spent together, they ended up growing closer to where they before. Hailey started to see a better version of herself in his arms, but having Ethan around made her forget all the pain and hurt that Kevin had ever put her in.

She was finally free from it all. The best part is that she was finally happier, stronger, and more empowered about her life choices. She was a bird that was finally free to fly where ever she wanted to go.

Let me know in the comments of what you thought about this short story! These will be posted every Friday and if you have a prompt or idea that you would like me to try out, let me know in the comments! 

Posted in Books, Reviews

Book Review – Ever After (Laurel-Leaf Books)

Posted on by Katie Night

Hey Dearies! Back with another book review for you all! So, this one I never thought this was really a book, but it is and you can find it on Amazon.

Ever After is a motion picture that Drew Barrymore stars in as the main character, Danielle. This movie is one of my all-time favorite version of a Cinderella story, next to Hillary Duffs more modern version in A Cinderella Story.

The ‘Cinderella’ story has been told in many different ways in, by different writers and in different genres. In my opinion, ‘Cinderella’s story is one of the easiest recreations that any writer can do, but I’m always curious to see what writers come up with and try to do.

The same goes for any other fairy tale story, but I think this version is the best because not only is it in the perfect timeline and location to do it.

The theme of where this Cinderella story is set more like how the original Cinderella story started. Danielle lives with her father, her more died in childbirth and her father raises her the best he can. Of course, when she is 8, he re-marries Baroness Rodmilla of Ghent, otherwise known as her evil stepmother, and has two daughters of her own.

However, the reason why Rodmilla marries Danielle’s father is to get further up the line, or into the castle, basically wanting to live the life of riches. So, she really doesn’t care about Danielle, anyway, makes Danielle a ‘slave’ when her father dies.

I will say, Danielle puts up with a bunch of crap as a servant, but how she meets Prince Henry is even funnier than how the other versions. She ends up meeting him and throws apples at him thinking that he is stealing their horse.

The entire book is an exact play-by-play of the movie, which made me feel like I was just reading the movie and I ended up finishing it in a day. So, instead of watching the movie, you can read it, however, depending on how fast you read, it could take a day, perfect for passing the time.

There are only a few slight things that weren’t in the movie, but even if it wasn’t, it doesn’t change the way the book is, instead, I feel like it gives more of a backstory to some of the parts that are ‘rushed’ when created into a movie, or they were parts that they didn’t put into the movie.

Overall, this is an amazing book, even though it is literally the movie script, but in a book form and since I don’t own the movie, it’s not a bad way to pass the time. Perfect for a rainy or snowy day when you can’t go anywhere and want to snuggle up to a good book.

I also think that it would be a great bedtime story or a book that you could read to your kids before bed, you won’t finish it all before bed, but you could finish a chapter a night before bed no problem.

So, since I’ve reviewed the book, later in this month, I will be reviewing the movie because you know that’s what makes sense to do, right?

What do you think about the book? Were you as shocked as I to find out that there was a book to the movie? Let me know in the comments below.

 

 

Posted in Books, Reviews

Book Review: Game Of Thrones (Book 1)

Posted on by Katie Night

Hey Dearies! So, as I’ve been getting back into reading, I started to read the infamous GOT books, I got them after the show had already aired, but that’s what usually happens when a book gets turned into a series or movie, either you read it before it turned into a live-action or you find out after the fact.

To me, the only series that I have read before they wanted to release a T.V. series or live-action was the House of Night Series, but those books will be for another time and its a rumor that I’m not 100% sure if they are doing or not.

Anyway, back to GOT. If you haven’t already seen this series, it’s about castles, dragons, kingdoms, but more suited for adults. The first book follows really closely with the first season, as I was reading this, I was also watching an episode that followed what I had read.

WARNING: Spoilers to come! Don’t read forward if you don’t want me to spoil it for you!

The first thing I want to say is that, if you are a fan of the series, they did a really good job of following the book, but to me, the book was really hard to get into because I’m not really used to reading books like this, meaning it does have a lot of big words and it took me a little bit longer to get into, but once Ned becomes the hand, it’s a lot easier.

The way the book is set up is that every chapter is a different person’s point-of-view. The best part is that chapters aren’t in a cycle, they are very random, first, you’ll be reading about Ned, then you’ll jump to Jon or Dany.

About halfway through the book, King Robert, who goes out hunting and ends up getting hurt badly, he dies in the first season and in the book. I was getting a little bit worry that he still wasn’t dead, but you have to remember, the book always has more detail than the T.V. Show.

I do want to say, after watching the series before reading the book and then watching the episodes that occur from what I read in the book, it really helped me to understand who the characters were and what the story is about.

Now that I’m rewatching the series as I read them, it does help me when I’m going through and reading each of the books. Which if you didn’t know, there are 5 books in the Game Of Thrones series.

So, for once, one of the books is spot on to the, I would say the first season of GOT. What did you think about the book? Have you read it or were you like me and found out after the fact? Let me know below!

Also, I want to note that these books take a lot of time to finish, so please be patient for me to get through the second book!

Posted in Writing Works

Off The Record (Friday’s Short Stories)

Posted on by Katie Night

Off The Record

Hey Dearies! This one is another romatic short story, but more about rich people, got the idea from one of the many books I read on Wattpad, but with this one, I almost wanted to make it into a book! Who knows, I might, but enjoy!

She’s working her way to the top the only way a woman can in this business: by being absolutely ruthless, heartless, and six times as tough as the men. But when one of those men, an underling, begins to soften her heart, she panics. Will she take their relationship off the books? Or take the “safe” path and send him away?

Allie Jaques never expected to fall in love, especially with someone that she had been partners with for years. She had been running her father’s business since he had passed, 3 years ago. Even though she was never close with him, she bravely took on his entire corporation.

After her mother had been out of the picture, as soon as she turned 16, she had been completely on her own and was doing just fine, that was until her father’s personal assistant, Carol Briggs came to her and told her about her father. She didn’t know what to say or how to feel but took the position.

She’s had her heart broken before, as she had dappled in mixing business with pleasure, but when he wanted to start a family, things ended on bad terms as Allie wanted to focus on building up that small little store. In other words, when the opportunity came around with the position, she gladly took it to get away from her ex.

“Alright gentleman, that will be all.” She spoke as she ended the meeting, gathering her paperwork as the others left the room, all, but Mr. Devin Wells. He was another parter that his father had sign on before he passed, but to Allie, it was nice to know someone who didn’t know her father quite as well as the other partners.

She felt his eyes on him, as she always has. Watching her every move, she loved it when the attention was on her, but Mr. Wells makes her want to do unspeakable things to her. She had been dreaming about it and thinking about it for months, how his touch would feel, how he would please her.

It made her blush just thinking about it, but she couldn’t have history repeat itself. She didn’t want to mix her business with his pleasure, but she couldn’t stop herself. As she kept gathering the papers, she was relieved to see her assistant come in. “Ms. Jaques? You have a call on the line, they say it’s about the meeting for tonight.” Helen said as she walked in.

“I’ll be right there, can you take these and schedule another meeting for next week?” She asked as Helen nodded, taking the paperwork from her hands and leaving the room.

As she was about to head out the door, Mr. Wells stopped her in her tracks. Placing his arm in front of her and turning his head to face her.

“Is there something you need, Mr. Wells?” Allie asked her heart started to beat faster when his eyes looked at hers.

“I’d like to talk to you, over dinner.” He said, smiling, as Allie couldn’t believe what he was finally asking. Allie wanted to jump to say yes, but her mind reminded her about what happened with her ex.

“Sorry, I don’t do dinner dates.” She smirked as she rejected him. He smirked back, but placed his arm down, letting her walk out and she headed towards her office.

Once she got in, she sat at her desk and dropped the papers all over her desk, putting her hands on her forehead. She had to say strong, she didn’t want her heart to control her life, as it once did.

She also didn’t want her needs to get in the middle of the business’s needs. It was hard enough that she had rejected men before, but there was something different about this one. She couldn’t put her finger on why she wanted to catch his attention.

Allie ended up staying up until she was about to head to the dinner meeting she had with two of the biggest clients. She needed her focus to be on making sure they wanted to sign again for the next 5 years on being partners with the company.

Helen had knocked and entered her office, holding her dry cleaning and placed it on her mini couch. “The limo will be here in 10 minutes, Ms. Jaques. Is there anything else you need for me to do?” She smiled, holding her hands perfectly together.

She had been with the company as long as my father had and she had been nothing, but sweet to Allie. Always making sure she had everything she needed, even staying longer to make sure things were completed before going home to her family.

I returned the smile as I got up from my desk. “Thank you, Helen. I can handle the rest, go home and see your family. Say him to Thomas for me.” Helen smiled and nodded.

“Thank you, I will. Have a good night, Ms. Jaques.” She said as she left the office.

Allie quickly got dressed and did some of her makeup, making sure it wasn’t too much. She then took the pins from her hair and let it fall to hang on her shoulders. Her hair was naturally curly, which made it easier for her.

Quickly grabbing her purse and heading down to the limo that was waiting for her. As the limo arrived at Romana Restaurant, she got a text message from Helen.

‘Mr. Klans canceled, but the other partner will be there, Mr. Wells.’

Allie’s face flushed as she entered the restaurant to see Mr. Wells, standing at the front of the restaurant, waiting to get seated at a table. Her first reaction was to turn away, she then remembers that she did have plans with Mr. Wells and Mr. Klans tonight.

She’s couldn’t cancel, she needed Mr. Wells to be convinced to stay for another few more years. She needed this partnership just as Mr. Wells needed it. Taking a deep breath, she composed herself and headed towards Mr. Wells.

“Ms. Jaques, a pleasure to see you again.” Mr. Wells said as a waitress was ready to seat us. He held out his hand, as she shook it. She watched as he eyed her up and down. She pulled away from his grasp and looked at him.

“Same with you.” Allie quickly said as they followed the waitress to a closed area for meetings. As they sat down, they ordered some drinks and looked over the menus. It was silent after the waitress left, but Allie was so hungry, she didn’t bother will a casual conversation like she normally did.

“It’s nice to finally get you alone to me.” Mr. Wells spoke as the waitress came back with their drinks, she quickly took a sip of wine and ordered their food. Once the waitress took their menu’s and left, Allie thought of what to say to him.

“This is just business, Mr. Wells. Nothing more.” She stated, but he chuckled at the response she had, places his elbows on the table, holding his hands together.

“Or so you think.” He then took a sip of his drink. “Why don’t we just call each other by our first names, Allison.”

When he said her full name, she had chills running up her back just thinking about it. She shook her head, telling herself to focus on the task at hand, making sure he’s still a partnership.

“Stop messing around, Devin. Let me get to the point, are you going to stay as a partner or no?” She snapped as he started to laugh again. She took a sip of her wine and waited for an answer.

“Let’s put business aspect aside for once, Allie. That’s all we ever talk about.” Devin spoke as our food came to us and placed it in front of us.

“Because that is all we will ever talk about is business,” Allie spoke with a straight face, hoping that Devin wouldn’t keep on this much longer.

“Is that you ever think about is work?” He asked as she finished her glass of wine. She was about done with this meeting. She got the waitresses attention and had her box her food. When she came back, she grabbed her food and got up from the table.

“Thank you for your time, but if you aren’t going to take this seriously, I’ll be on my way,” Allie said, but before she could leave the room, Devin had pushed her up against the wall, holding her hands above her head. “What are you doing?” She asked.

“Something we have been wanting to do for a long time.” He said as he leaned in and pressed his lips against hers.

It was so exciting for her, she hadn’t been kissed in a long time, but with Devin, she didn’t want it to stop. He dropped her hands, as they fell onto his chest, making them wander all over his body. He held his hands at her waist as they kept kissing passionately.

He pulled away, leaning his forehead on Allie’s and smirked. “Why did you stop?” Allie asked as they both stopped to catch their breath.

“If I kept going, I don’t think I would be able to stop.” He said as Allie adjected herself.

She couldn’t believe that just happened, instead of dealing with the awkwardness of the situation, she got up and left. Caught a cab and went home.

Allie decided to get ready for bed, when she got to her penthouse apartment, changing in a simple tank top and shorts. She then looked everywhere for her phone, until she realized that she had left it there at the restaurant, along with her purse and food.

All of a sudden, after she made herself a quick cup of tea, there was a knock at the door. It was 10 o’clock at night and she wasn’t expecting anyone. As she opened the door, Devin Wells was standing there when her phone, purse, and food in his hands.

“You left and forgot these. I figured you would need them.” He said, handing her stuff, as she placed them on her kitchen counter.

“Thank you, I was about to call the restaurant-,” Before she finished her sentence, he had caught her off guard by kissing her once again. She threw her hands in his hair, as he lifted her on her counter. She pulled away from his lips. “We can’t do this.” She whispered to him.

“But we can.” He said, kissing her lips once more, and then placing kisses up and down her neck. “What’s the harm?”

“What the hell,” Allie kissed him back as he embraced her in his arms.

After that night, they kept their contact but making sure that their business wasn’t in the mix of their pleasure. The agreement they had made sure that they were nothing more than just friends with benefits, but after a few months, Allie could help, but start to have feelings for him.

She didn’t want to tell him, knowing how their agreement was, she didn’t want to change it, but the longer they were together, the more she wanted to make it permanent.

Allie had just gotten out of work and headed straight home, she was expecting Devin to come over, but canceled plans with him. She was on her period and didn’t want to deal with him. As she got home, Devin was in her penthouse, cooking dinner. He had a key, but that was whenever she wanted a late-night booty call.

She never expected this. “What are you doing here?” She asked as he smiled. Devin never really came over when it was her time of the month and it surprised her that he was even here, although, the last time she was on her period, he ended up buying her chocolates.

The food smelled too good, as she watched him prepare a simple stuffed shells recipe. “I was in the mood to cook and didn’t want to eat alone, so I figured I’ve cooked for us.” He said as he poured me a glass of wine.

“This seems extra than just friends with benefits, Devin,” Allie spoke, as she took a sip of her wine.

“Is that a problem?” He asked. She didn’t know how to answer, but she didn’t want to overstay her welcome of their agreement. She loved the fact that he was spoiling her like such, but didn’t want this to be too good to be true and ruin it all.

“I don’t know, is it for you?” She asked as he shook his head no.

“Not at all, but there is something I need to ask you.” He said as he placed the food into the oven and throwing a towel over his shoulder. “Didn’t know if you wanted to come with me to a charity event, it’s sort of like a ball and I don’t want to hire a date, like I did last time.”

“Oh,” She said, as she wasn’t sure if she would want to go to a ball, but it was exciting to be asked. “Wouldn’t that be weird if I went? It would kinda make us a couple in the public eye, you know.”

He walked over to her and smiled, wrapping his arms around her waist, looking down into her eyes. “What if we were?” He asked. Allie’s heart raised, she didn’t know what to say. “Look, I know we had an agreement about us just sleeping together, but I want more with us. I don’t just want to be the person you lay with, I want to be the person you want to grow old with.”

The words he was saying were too good to be true, but then that voice in her head reminded her that he was still her business partner and didn’t know what would happen if they had become a couple. Would her father’s hard work be gone? Would the business crumble? Or would the partners drop her father’s company?

She had so many questions of what if’s that she was more worried about how other’s would think, instead of how she would think if they became something more. She was afraid of history repeating itself but more afraid to take that chance.

Allie and Devin ate in silent and as soon as they were both done, he left, not even giving her a kiss goodbye, like he normally does. All she told him as she wasn’t sure, which turned into another argument.

It was the night of the charity ball, Allie was debating ongoing, but since she was formally invited and it was for a children’s charity for orphans, she didn’t want to miss it. She hadn’t talked to Devin for months, and the only times that they did was when they had their weekly meetings.

As she was looking in her closet, she was trying to decide what to wear when Helen walked into the room, standing in the doorway wearing a black fine mermaid gown.

“The limo is here, Ms. Jaques. And I just want to say, thank you again for inviting me and my husband.”

I smiled. “No problem at all, I figured that a night out from the kids would be good for you too.”

Helen walked over and gave her a hug. Then she turned to the closet to pull out a sliver diamond dress that was tight-fitting at the top til the waist and then it was looser towards more of the bottom. “I think this one would look good on you,” Helen said and Allie agreed.

Without question about the dress Helen chose, Allie quickly got dressed and braided the sides of her hair, still having her long naturally curly hair fall to her sides.

Once they got to the charity event, Allie made sure to pledge her donation and then grabbed a glass of champagne, taking a sip and looking around the ballroom, her eyes were looking to catch Devin, but she couldn’t seem to find them.

But Helen and her husband, caught her eye, they were dancing together, Allie smiled as she saw how happy they were. Allie wished she would have that one day, but after what happened with Devin, she never thought she would find someone like him again.

As much as she didn’t want to admit it, she really missed him. She missed not talking to him, missed spending time with him, and mostly just missed his presence.

“Enjoying the view,” Devin spoke, as he stood next to her, holding a glass of champagne as well.

“I thought you weren’t talking to me.” Allie snapped, as she didn’t know why he was talking to her. She thought that he was still upset with her.

“I’ve talked to you,” Devin said, taking a sip of his champagne. “How about a dance?” He asked as he took both of their champagnes and placed them on the table.

Devin and Allie danced, moving around the ballroom floor with the others. “Why haven’t you returned my calls?” Devin whispered in her ear.

“I didn’t think you wanted to talk to me,” Allie said, looking up at him. He pushed a piece of her hair behind her ear.

“I always want to talk to you, Allison. Why can’t we be together?” He asked as she smiled. She wanted to be with him, but all she could think about was the business.

“I just don’t know. I worry about the business. I don’t want our public relationship to interfere with the business.” Allie explained, but Devin just smiled.

“If anything, it will grow.” He said as he twirled her around. “So, what do you say?”

She only took a minute to think about it before placing a kiss on his lips. She was ready for her happiness to start and she didn’t care about how everyone would feel about it, she was ready to start the next chapter.

After they came out to the public about their relationship, Devin was right, the business grows and they ended up combining both of their businesses into one giant one. After all that, Allie finally had the happy ending she deserved.

Let me know in the comments of what you thought about this short story! These will be posted every Friday and if you have a prompt or idea that you would like me to try out, let me know in the comments! 

Posted in Writing Works

Rewriting My Story (Friday’s Short Stories)

Posted on by Katie Night

Rewriting My Story

Hey Dearies! So, this one is about heartbreak and how it is to start all over after a relationship ends. Hope you all like it! Let me know in the comments!

A woman who is deeply in love is crushed when her fiancé breaks up with her. “In life, every ending is just a new beginning,” says Dakota Fanning’s character in Uptown Girls.

Natalia never thought she would have to start all over again, but after being crushed by the love of her life, she didn’t know what to do or where to start. It was so unexpected, but she still didn’t understand why.

Collin Mather was someone she never expected to fall in love with, but she did. Having met him freshman year of high school, he was apart of the baseball team and hockey, always busy with sports that she was surprised that he had time with her.

They met at one of the home games of his, Natalia was a reporter for the school newspaper and since no one else that day wanted to go to the baseball game, she ended up going. Natalia never minded sitting by and watching the sports games, as long as she got the score and a little bit of the action, she would be set.

She watched as Collin stepped up to the plate, getting ready to swing his bat, it was the end of the game, as Natalia watched intently as he glared at the pitcher. They needed this win to be in the school finals, they were tied with the other team and just needed a home run.

Natalia sat on the edge of her seat as she wanted Collin to hit the home run, she needed this article to be on the front paper before school. The writing was always her passion, but she wanted to be more than just a side-stage reporter, she wanted to be apart of something huge, and her school winning to go to the finals was what she was waiting for.

The pitcher threw the ball and Collin’s bat hit the ball, as he threw it to the ground and ran as fast as he could to first base. The ball was way out in the field, too far for the outfielders to catch it as he hit first base and ran to second.

Before they even managed to get the ball, Collin They needed this win to be in the school finals, they were tied with the other team and just needed a home run.\nNatalia sat on the edge of her seat as she wanted Collin to hit the home run, she needed this article to be on the front paper before school. The writing was always her passion, but she wanted to be more than just a side-stage reporter, she wanted to be apart of something huge, and her school winning to go to the finals was what she was waiting for.\nThe pitcher threw the ball and Collin\’s bat hit the ball, as he threw it to the ground and ran as fast as he could to first base. The ball was way out in the field, too far for the outfielders to catch it as he hit first base and ran to second.\nBefore they even managed to get the ball, Collin had already hit the third base and was working on getting the home run they needed. Quickly the opposite team grabbed the ball and threw it to third, Collin threw himself to slide into home base, just in time before the ball was thrown to home base\nThey had won the game and made it on the finals. Natalia couldn\’t believe it, but when she looked at Collins\’s face, as the team collapsed around him, she could tell that this was something that he was waiting to happen. He was only a sophomore, but he was the first to take the school to the finals.\nAfter they won, Natalia went to the team and started to interview the captain of the team, Jerry, Collin\’s older brother. As she was taking some notes down, she noticed from the corner of her eye, Collin was watching her.\nThe next school day, they managed to print out the paper early that morning and lots of people were paying to read the main article, her article. Natalia was smiling as she handed out the papers.\n\”I can\’t believe you managed to pull this off!\” Joyce said as she handed out another paper, Natalia smiled at her best friend.\n\”I know, but the best part was, I think I have a crush on Collin,\” Natalia whispered as Joyce giggled, but then turned back to the front of the stand were Collin was standing right there.\n\”Speaking of crushes, I\’m going to go out back and get more copies.\” Joyce winked to Natalia as she didn\’t want her to leave her by herself with her crush.\nCollin smiled as Natalia felt her cheeks get warmed, she had never had a crush before. \”Natalia, isn\’t it?\” Collin asked as she nodded.\nJoyce came back with the extra copies of the paper as Natalia handed one of them to Collin, as she returned the smile. \”I\’ll see you around,\” Collin said, as he started heading down the hall.\n\”Wait till he reads the article, he\’ll be head over heels in love with you,\” Joyce smirked as Natalia covered her eyes.\nLater that day as Natalia was leaving her newspaper club meeting, she was shocked to find Collin waiting outside the room for her. She slowly walked by him, gripping her books tightly around her chest.\nShe feared the worse, thinking that he might have not liked the article and wanted to confront her about what she wrote. \”Natalia, wait a second,\” Collin said, catching up next to her.\nNatalia turned to face him as he looked like he was about to speak, but she stopped him from doing so. \”I\’m sorry if you didn\’t like the article that I wrote. Did I say something wrong? Or was I wasn\’t supposed to put your nickname that your teammates call you. I\’m really sorry, I can go back and see about getting it change-,\”\nCollin had put a finger on her lips to shush her. \”Nothing is wrong with your article. I loved it.\”\nNatalia\’s face started to warm up, she was so thankful that he didn\’t like the article, but what else did he want with her? \”T-Thank you.\” She managed to speak after his finger away.\n\”No problem. Finals are next weekend, are you going?\” He asked as she nodded. \”Alright, how about if we win again, I get to take you out on a date?\”\nYou can probably guess what happened next, Collin won the game and Natalia went on her first date with him. After that, they started dating and stayed together after high school. Natalia never thought that she would be alone, after 6 years together, he finally popped the question.\nNever did she think that two weeks before the wedding was planned to happen, he would call it off. She was heartbroken, but he wanted to focus on his career, while she wanted to start a family. Not to mention, she had found out that there was someone else he wanted to be with instead, too.\nWhen that was all said and done, she felt empty, didn\’t understand why she wasn\’t good enough for him or what she did wrong to make him not love her anymore, but it gave her a new meaning of life. A fresh start.\nShe always wanted to be a writer and decided to write about her relationship, changing the names and town, she wrote her heart out about it all. The first date, first kiss, first time together, and so much more.\nAfter she had finished, she sent it to her publisher and once it was published, it became the next bestseller, it sold out more than Twilight and Hunger Games combined. She got her dream and after finishing the book, she came to understand and realized why he left her and that it\’s always okay to be alone because sometimes that\’s the best.had already hit the third base and was working on getting the home run they needed. Quickly the opposite team grabbed the ball and threw it to third, Collin threw himself to slide into home base, just in time before the ball was thrown to home base

They had won the game and made it on the finals. Natalia couldn’t believe it, but when she looked at Collins’s face, as the team collapsed around him, she could tell that this was something that he was waiting to happen. He was only a sophomore, but he was the first to take the school to the finals.

After they won, Natalia went to the team and started to interview the captain of the team, Jerry, Collin’s older brother. As she was taking some notes down, she noticed from the corner of her eye, Collin was watching her.

The next school day, they managed to print out the paper early that morning and lots of people were paying to read the main article, her article. Natalia was smiling as she handed out the papers.

“I can’t believe you managed to pull this off!” Joyce said as she handed out another paper, Natalia smiled at her best friend.

“I know, but the best part was, I think I have a crush on Collin,” Natalia whispered as Joyce giggled, but then turned back to the front of the stand were Collin was standing right there.

“Speaking of crushes, I’m going to go out back and get more copies.” Joyce winked to Natalia as she didn’t want her to leave her by herself with her crush.

Collin smiled as Natalia felt her cheeks get warmed, she had never had a crush before. “Natalia, isn’t it?” Collin asked as she nodded.

Joyce came back with the extra copies of the paper as Natalia handed one of them to Collin, as she returned the smile. “I’ll see you around,” Collin said, as he started heading down the hall.

“Wait till he reads the article, he’ll be head over heels in love with you,” Joyce smirked as Natalia covered her eyes.

Later that day as Natalia was leaving her newspaper club meeting, she was shocked to find Collin waiting outside the room for her. She slowly walked by him, gripping her books tightly around her chest.

She feared the worse, thinking that he might have not liked the article and wanted to confront her about what she wrote. “Natalia, wait a second,” Collin said, catching up next to her.

Natalia turned to face him as he looked like he was about to speak, but she stopped him from doing so. “I’m sorry if you didn’t like the article that I wrote. Did I say something wrong? Or was I wasn’t supposed to put your nickname that your teammates call you. I’m really sorry, I can go back and see about getting it change-,”

Collin had put a finger on her lips to shush her. “Nothing is wrong with your article. I loved it.”

Natalia’s face started to warm up, she was so thankful that he didn’t like the article, but what else did he want with her? “T-Thank you.” She managed to speak after his finger away.

“No problem. Finals are next weekend, are you going?” He asked as she nodded. “Alright, how about if we win again, I get to take you out on a date?”

You can probably guess what happened next, Collin won the game and Natalia went on her first date with him. After that, they started dating and stayed together after high school. Natalia never thought that she would be alone, after 6 years together, he finally popped the question.

Never did she think that two weeks before the wedding was planned to happen, he would call it off. She was heartbroken, but he wanted to focus on his career, while she wanted to start a family. Not to mention, she had found out that there was someone else he wanted to be with instead, too.

When that was all said and done, she felt empty, didn’t understand why she wasn’t good enough for him or what she did wrong to make him not love her anymore, but it gave her a new meaning of life. A fresh start.

She always wanted to be a writer and decided to write about her relationship, changing the names and town, she wrote her heart out about it all. The first date, first kiss, first time together, and so much more.

After she had finished, she sent it to her publisher and once it was published, it became the next bestseller, it sold out more than Twilight and Hunger Games combined. She got her dream and after finishing the book, she came to understand and realized why he left her and that it’s always okay to be alone because sometimes that’s the best.

Let me know in the comments of what you thought about this short story! These will be posted every Friday and if you have a prompt or idea that you would like me to try out, let me know in the comments!

Posted in Writing Works

The Art of Love (Friday’s Short Stories)

Posted on by Katie Night

The Art of Love

Hey Dearies! I know this one is a little late, but I wanted to make sure I took a little extra time on this one. It’s not exactly like the prompt, but I did add in a little twist of it. 

Two dirt-poor art students survive by sharing a nasty little apartment above a bodega. They struggle through four years, barely making ends meet, comforting one another through tragedies and triumph, but never openly admit how they feel about each other…until they graduate, and one of them gets a job in another city. Is it too late to confess their love?

Living in New York City wasn’t easy, let alone being a paint. Jackie Brown wanted to see her name on every billboard, street store, and all over New York. Since she was 3, that was always her dream.

Her father was a famous painter himself, as so as her mother. Once they had her, Jackie’s mother felt that her child was holding her back from becoming famous and so let Jackie and her husband to New York.

Last time Jackie saw her mother, was 10 years ago. Now, she was 23, fresh from college and off to make her hobby into her dream, however, New York was expensive. Jackie’s father wanted to come with her, to make sure her dreams really did come true, but Jackie didn’t want her father to help her on that journey.

She wanted this one by herself.

After being in New York for a few days, she managed to find a place for her to stay in. Kenny Hunt was her only available option, especially with money being so tight, she didn’t want to be left on the streets.

Climbing up to the 3rd floor, onto an old book store, she knocked onto the door, with the faded ‘3C’ that sat on an old wooden door. After a minute or two, the door finally opened with Kenny behind it.

“Jackie, right?” He asked.

“Yes.” She nodded, giving him a soft smile as he opened the door more for her to come in. “Thank you again for this.”

She turned to face him, looking at his dirty blond hair and bright blue eyes. As she gazed into his eyes, he looked like he was hurt inside, like someone has ripped his heart out from his body and stuffed it in a trash can.

Kenny turned away, walking back to his canvas, ignoring her. As she looked around, she notices this was a very old room, it was a room that didn’t look like it was used for sleeping at all. The wide-open space had faded, cracked dark wooden floors. The paint used for the walls was faded and looked like there once were mirrors that inclosed the place.

As she turned to her left, there was a mini hall, looked like there were a few other rooms and hopefully a bathroom. Behind her was a stove, sink, and fridge that looked out of place from this room, but more than an old dance studio was out of place for any of this.

She didn’t see any mattresses or beds for her, in the opened space. Instead, the opened spaces were covered with canvases, paint, and brushes. It was like heaven to Jackie, making this choice the best one she had made for herself.

“Where can I put my stuff?” She asked, as his blue eyes looked up from the canvas.

“Down the hall to the right. Just don’t go into my room.” Kenny snapped as he went back to painting. Jackie was curious to know what he was painted but instead went to put her stuff away.

After being there for a few weeks, Jackie got herself comfortable, but Kenny seemed to rather ignore her. She had tried to work up the courage to place an empty canvas on one of the many empty easels, but hadn’t.

Brushstroke after brushstroke, she watched him from afar, not wanting her to see her eyes on him, she watched him move the brush back and forth like it was a dance he knew how to dance. Not to mention she couldn’t help but notice his arms had a few tattoos, but the one that caught her eye the most was the tree tattoo inside his left arm.

She wanted to ask him about it, it was the only one that she had noticed that was fairly new to his body, as the other tattoos he had were more faded. It took her a minute to realize that the tattoo was the tree from Lord of the Rings.

She got up and walked out of her room and slowly approached Kenny. He looked up for a second but turned away back to his piece. As she got closer, she noticed that his painting wasn’t of any object or item, that she thought it was, it was simply a mess of different colors of blacks and greys.

It was different from what her parents have painted before, but they were more into landscapes, such as mountains, hills, forests, and lakes. This was solid, but it spoke to her that something in his past had made him paint this way.

“What?” Kenny snapped, jumping Jackie, as she was zoned into his piece, rather than him.

“I-I was wondering if could use that spare easel?” She spoke nervously, she wanted to ask about his tree tattoo, but she had forgotten it, getting lost in his eyes.

Kenny changed his emotion, looked rather more confused like he didn’t think she would ask something from him so bold. “You paint too?” He asked as she nodded.

“I do, my parents do, too.” She said as he looked at her.

“Go for it.” He said, going back to his easel. Jackie was so enlightened that she ran to grab her supplies and set them up next to the easel.

Over the next couple of months, the started to bond over their love of painting and art. As much as they wanted to spend all of their time painting, Kenny had a part-time job down at the book store and Jackie had just gotten a job as a florist, that was also down the street.

Jackie had just finished her latest creation, it was of a couple, standing in the middle of the rain, sharing a deep kiss, with the background having rainfall underneath them all, not giving a care in the world as to what would happen.

It reminded her of her last love, that were that couple she painted. He had her heart, but she didn’t want it. She had gotten pregnant, but ended up losing the baby, which changed their relationship although. He wanted to settle down and build a giant family, as Jackie just wanted to paint and when she was ready, start a family.

That was their last kiss goodbye. They didn’t want to hold each other back and wanted to have one last kiss before they moved onto different lifestyles. Hence, why she wanted to leave New York.

Kenny came over, as she signed off of her painting. “Incredible, really.” He touched her shoulder as she watched him look into every detail she put into the painting. “What are going to call it?”

Jackie took a minute to think about it, coming up with the titles of her paintings was harder than it was for her parents. “Not sure yet.” Still admiring her work.

She glanced at Kenny’s easel, he had just a blank canvas, naked, as Jackie liked to call it. Ever since she started to paint in the same room as him, his painting has changed from dark and depression, to more artistic and creative, making them more appealing to the eye.

Her heart fluttered each time he would come up to her and watched her paint, as she would do the same. She had tried to open him and get him to talk to her, but he was a locked door, not letting anyone in.

That all changed. Jackie was working at her job when she got a phone call from the office from her mother. She wanted to let her know she was dying from cancer. That was the real reason why she left in the first place, she didn’t want Jackie to see her.

Jackie’s heart dropped as she got off the phone, it all made sense, she wondered why her father was always upset and depressed, but she thought it was because her mother had left, choosing her work over the family when really she was getting treatment for her breast cancer.

After work, when she got home, she didn’t say anything to Kenny, as he watched as she sadly went into her bedroom. She wasn’t in the mood to talk, didn’t even feel like painting, which was a first for her because she had always loved to paint.

“Jackie?” Kenny called out, but there was no reply from her, he didn’t want to intrude. It made him worry about her. Her happy self was what was keeping him inspired to paint masterpieces ever since his little sister had passed away.

Instead of answering Kenny, she curled herself up in a ball on her mattress and started to cry. There was nothing she could do, but felt like she needed to do something. She wanted to go to her happy place, but painting sounded so foreign to her.

She felt Kenny’s eyes on her like he was drilling a laser into her head. As much as she wanted Kenny’s attention, there was something more that she wanted. A distraction.

Siting up from her bed, she looked over at Kenny, as he sat on the bed beside her, gazing at his blue eyes, but her eyes wandered to his lips. “Is everything okay?” He asked, but instead of answering him, she leaned into his faces and pressed her lips against his.

Kenny froze for a second, not realizing that her lips were upon his, he didn’t know how to react, but before he could embrace the kiss, she had pulled away. Kenny’s mind was questioning if he should kiss her back or leave the room awkwardly.

Jackie looked back at him, waiting for his response, but his face looked confused. Did she kiss him wrong? She thought, but maybe it was too sudden for him, she thought again.

Until he caught her off guard and very slowly placed his lips together with hers.

She was lost into the moment, embracing Kenny’s warmth that she so craved, however, instead of taking their clothes off to get further lost into each other’s arms, they both laid down on her bed, and had him embrace her, snuggling up close together and making her feel something that she hadn’t felt in a long time.

Safe.

As he brushed a strand of hair from her face, she finally spoke, telling him about her mother and her condiction.

“Go to her, you should spend your last moments together,” Kenny spoke, as much as it killed him to see her go, not knowing how long she would be gone for or if she would ever come back, he didn’t want to miss out on those final moments that he did with his sister.

“I can’t, I don’t have the money,” Jackie said as he understood her situation, he was in the same boat, being an inspiring artist wasn’t easy. He had been doing odd jobs, just to save up for an apartment, but it was never enough.

 

The next morning, Jackie was left alone in her bed, Kenny had stayed with her all night long, just to make sure she was okay, but he wasn’t next to her. She got up and started getting ready for the day, when she saw a note on the fridge, with enough money to get her to see her mother and possibly come back.

‘Don’t miss another moment away from your mother. You’ll regret it in the end.’ – Kenny

She smiled, as he was right. Quickly, she packed a few things and took the train to the other side of town, trying to make sure she was able to get to the hospital in time. Once she arrived, she was greeted by her father.

He hugged her tightly in his arms. “I missed you, buttercup.” He said, calling her by her childhood nickname. He started calling her that when she picked out some flowers from their garden and they happened to be buttercups.

Jackie didn’t want to let go from her father’s embrace, but slowly turned to look into the small hospital room, she could see her mother, looking pain and cold.

Her eyes started to water as he came closer to her mother’s bed, she was still alive but looked like she was barely holding on. “Mommy?” She spoke, making her mother awake and open her eyes to see her daughter.

Jackie came closer to her mother and hugged her tightly as she could, she was so weak, but was glad her daughter was sitting next to her. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” Her mother spoke, as she held onto Jackie’s hand.

“Don’t worry about it, what matters is that I’m here for you,” Jackie said, kissing her mother’s hand and wiping her tears.

Jackie shared everything that was going on in her life, now. She even talked about Kenny, to her surprise, her mother said that he would be perfect for her. They played a few games, up until her mother was too weak to do so.

She died 2 months later after their last game of Uno. The last thing Jackie told her was to never give on chasing your dreams. Jackie knew she would never forget, but it made her think about Kenny. He was her new dream now, she needed to share her life with someone and he was perfect for her.

After the funeral, she said her last goodbyes to her father and headed back on the train, even though her mother had passed, she was wanting to get back to Kenny and to tell him how she felt about him.

Going up to their apartment, she was worried that he wouldn’t want to talk to her, after taking the money he gave to her to see her dying mother, but maybe he would. Taking a deep breath, she opened the door, watching Kenny stand in the middle of the studio, painting, he almost dropped his paintbrush when he saw her.

Jackie dropped her bag, and ran to him, embracing into his arms, not caring if he was covered in paint or not. She looked into his eyes and the waterworks just came down. He understood her pain as to lose something, but kept her in his arms.

“I missed you so much, Jackie. You have no idea.” He said, looking into Jackies eyes, wiping away the tears from her face, as he turned to face her to all the work he had done when she was gone. It was all pictures of her.

One of them was when she was puzzled on painting and ended up getting paint on her face. Another was of her dancing. The more she kept looking at the paintings, she realized that he returned the feelings for her, but there was one painting that caught her eye.

It was a painting of them, laying on her bed together, after their first kiss and how she told him about her mother. She didn’t know how he did it, but it was perfect. “I love this one,” Jackie said as Kenny came closer.

“Not as much as I love you,” Kenny spoke as Jackie stared at him in amazement. “I understand if you don’t return the feelings, but I do love you and I just needed to tell you.”

Jackie then pressed her lips against his, embracing his presence and telling him that she accepted his feelings for her. She pulled away, leaning their foreheads together as she smiled. “I love you too.”

Let me know in the comments of what you thought about this short story! These will be posted every Friday and if you have a prompt or idea that you would like me to try out, let me know in the comments! 

Posted in Writing Works

The Scars He Left Behind (Friday’s Short Stories)

Posted on by Katie Night

‘Hey, Dearies! So, this is the first, of many, short stories that I’ll be posting every Friday. I’ll be posting the writing prompt or idea from where I got it from, and then you’ll get to read my version of the story. These are all fiction, nothing is real unless said otherwise. These are something fun to do and if you want to comment or send me a version of your story, from the prompt, I’ll be happy to read it and possibly post it on my blog, if you would like!’ 

Tell the story of a scar, whether a physical scar or emotional one. To be a writer, said Stephen King, “The only requirement is the ability to remember every scar.”

The Scars He Left Behind

Looking up from the stars, Lela was waiting for something to catch her eye, whether it be a shooting star or the moon turning full as it looked down upon her. The full moon gave

Lela a sense of power, made her feel safe.

She usually did this every night, feeling the hot summer day finally cool off and letting the dark sky raise over the town like a blanket, hiding us underneath it. It was her favorite time of day.

Until now.

Things have changed for her, she had a busy plate, going into her 3rd year of high school. She wasn’t a straight-A student but did enough work to make sure she passed her classes. This year was different, not only had she given up on love, but she found it again.

Or so she thought.

It started out so simple, she thought, but how wrong was she. It started with a random message on a chat room, she was on there talking to one of her two best friends about the excitement that happened during lunch, a fight broke out and they got to witness it first hand.

It was the most exciting thing that had ever happened to them on that day, but for Lela, it was him.

The message from him popped up on her screen, she didn’t know what to do, nor react. She never had a guy take interest in her since middle school, but even then, she still didn’t know what to say, nor how to respond.

‘Can you help me meet Sarah? She seemed to log off.’

Little did Lela know that would be the start of a new chapter for her, not her friend Sarah.

‘Can’t you ask her yourself?’

Lela snapped back, thinking that this man wouldn’t want any interest in her. Why would they?

‘Sadly, I can’t seem to find her. I was supposed to meet her at the library, but I can’t seem to find her?’

Lela laughed at the message. She remembered Sarah was meeting up with her mystery guy today, but with midterms just about to start, she ended up setting up her date at the library with him.

Lela decided to stay home since she had to make sure to be home for her younger brother.

‘Didn’t you use her profile picture?’

Lela tried to explain, as much as she didn’t want to continue the conversation, she felt that she had to at least help him. Although, she chuckled at the fact that he didn’t have much common sense and wondered what Sarah saw in him.

She decided to do some snooping of her own and clicked on his profile picture. He looked semi-cute, or average. He wasn’t fat, nor was he too skinny. His dark hair complemented his eyes. As she kept looking, it seems that she found that they had more in common than she thought.

Lela thought he was kinda cute, but when she saw the year of his birth, she froze. Not only was Sarah talking to a much older guy, but a guy that would be legally called a man.

Chills went down Lela’s back as the conversation continued. Not only had it changed from helping him find Sarah, but his interest in her instead.

That was only the beginning.

After that same conversation, things changed. Lela and this man got closer and not even the 3rd day of talking, they finally met. To her mother’s disgrace, she didn’t want to see her 15-year-old daughter with someone who was 5 years older but tried her best to fight it.

She didn’t know what else to do, she banned her from seeing him, but that just made Lela want to be with him much more. The more the mother forbid it, the more she snuck around to see him.

It had been a week together for Lela and him, but in that week she lost so much. She didn’t know how it happened, it just did. His tongue mouthed words that made her jump into his bed. Making it seem that her virginity was something he wanted to take from her. Claim in with the others he took before hers, add it to his collection.

Once it was gone, she never got it back. The worst part is what came after that.

For months, she tried to build a so-called relationship with him, but he didn’t seem invested in her. Instead, his games came before her, the only time he wanted her was when he needed to be pleasured by her.

The times she did nor didn’t, he still went off and found another woman to laid in his bed. Forgive and forget, she thought over and over, the many times that he cheated. She didn’t know what else to do.

The scar.

He left two on that day in June. The heat was too hot to do much, but he still managed to leave a scar on her shoulder. She wanted to spend time with him, wanted to be apart of that world he was so attached too, but instead cut her left shoulder, and left her there, thinking she was wrong.

The second scar ended right in heart, making it seem like she might never find love again. Making it be more impossible or out of reach, just like the stars are from our grasp.

Once Lela had enough, she ended it, walking away from the first relationship she could ever call her own. She always looks down at that scar, to remind her that she is stronger than those dark times from where she got it from.

Looking back at the stars once more, she took a deep breath and smiled. Getting up from the patch of grass she was laying on and standing up tall, ready to walk into her next chapter, even with the scar he gave her.

Let me know in the comments of what you thought about this short story! These will be posted every Friday and if you have a prompt or idea that you would like me to try out, let me know in the comments! 

Posted in Books, Reviews

Book Review: A Sucky Love Story (Brittani Louise Taylor)

Posted on by Katie Night

I am a big Youtube fan, I’ve been watching Youtube since I was 13. Always wanting to start a channel of my own and really be myself. There were two big names that I used to watch on the daily: Shane Dawson and Brittani Louise Taylor.

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Ever since then, I’ve followed them both on social media, but we are going to talk about Brittani, first. The first video I watched of hers, was the mini two-part episode she did with Shane, ‘Emo Breakup.’

Here is the link, if you would like to see it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=st8-oYpI_FE

Brittani was one of those people who loved to show herself being herself, which is one of the reasons why I loved watching her videos. She gave me the inspiration to keep being myself. However, little did any of us followers knew, she had been going through something even more frightening. An abusive relationship.

Since she was going through a trial, she wasn’t allowed to say anything about what was going on in her situation, so her lawyer told her to write a book instead, which she did. Out came ‘A Sucky Love Story’.

I’m not going to go completely into details, but as a person who has been watching Youtube for a while, you never would’ve thought anything wrong would be happening in their lives.

Brittani was on Tinder, trying to find her ‘soul mate’, as she says in her book. She had a few failed attempts at Tinder, but was still hopeful, until she found Milos. At first, she didn’t like him, but over time, he changed everything about him to what Brittani was attractive too.

In the end, Brittani had gone through hell and back, figuring out that everything that he told her, was turning into a lie. At one point, multiple detectives and law enforcement officials said that the way Milos actions of him and his so-called ‘mother’, made them think to believe that they were going to try to human traffic her and their son.

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Brittani wanted to tell her story so that anyone who does start or is currently trying out online dating, just to make sure you know the signs and that you are careful who you meet. She wanted to make sure that no one goes through the same thing she had to endure.

My Opinion of the Book:

I couldn’t put it down, I had to keep on reading, so that I could find out the real truth and what really happened to her. She does an amazing job and had notes from when everything happened. I ended up getting teary towards the end of the book, but it was amazingly written.

I would 100% recommend it, but I highly recommend it to those that are thinking or already started online dating. It’s good to keep in mind what can happen to you when you meet someone online and how cautious you need to be when it comes to that.

At the end of Brittani’s relationship with Milos, the best thing that came out it all was her son Rex, who is now happy with his mother and grandmother. Brittani is still doing Youtube videos, whenever she has a chance, but because of her relationship, she has to alter her and her son’s life.

If you are one of those people who says, “If he is abusing you, just leave,” it’s a lot hard said than done because that person can manipulate you to change your mind and try to work out things together.

If you are in an abusive relationship, talk to someone and try to make a plan, there are all kinds of people and place who are willing to help, even if you have children, they want to help you. Here is the list of links if you want to reach out for help:

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If you want to check out Brittani’s channel and watch the videos she made when she was with Milos or what she is currently doing now:

https://www.youtube.com/user/BrittaniLouiseTaylor

If you want to get somewhat of a sneak peek to what really happens to Brittani, she did make a video with Shane Dawson explaining bits and pieces of what really happened to her, but in order to really find out what happened, you will need to read her book.

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Link for Shane Dawson’s video with Brittani: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sNuKpwX6Tz4

 

Posted in Gaming, Sims, Sims 2 Challenges

Sims 2 Challenges: Ones I Can’t Wait To Try Out!

Posted on by Katie Night

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Hey dearies! So, as you all know I LOVE the Sims! I think its fun to play with life in a more pixelated way. As you all know that when you start playing a game, it can get boring doing the same thing over and over. Many players get creative and start finding different ways to play, which are called ‘challenges’.

Challenges are just a different, more fun, way to play the game. They can be about anything or have a goal in mind. Some challenges might have a points system, too. When it’s all said and done, a lot of people like to share their gameplay or how the challenge went.

I am so excited to announce that I will be taking part in some of these challenges and will record myself playing them! I know, I’m pretty excited too! So, let’s go on to the few challenges I have in mind that I would like to try!

The Legacy Challenge

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This challenge is one of the most famous that you can try out. Basically, your goal is to have a family with 10 generations, but following the guidelines. This challenge can be the hardest that anyone can try, but it’s fun to try the challenge out!

The Black Widow Challenge

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The title sounds a little familiar, hmm? Well, it is! I actually used this idea for one of my short stories, but the challenge is nothing like my short story. You are a female who is on the hunt for wealthy men. You marry them for their money, cheat on them in front of them, and then have them die. Then you marry the person you had an affair with and do the cycle all over again.

Sounds fun, doesn’t it?

The Disney Princess Challenge

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Ever wanted to play as a Disney princess? Here is your chance! Its sort of the same thing as the Legacy Challenge expect every generation you start with, is a different princess.

Here is the list of generations and which princesses you can play as:

  1. Snow White (Start as an adult)
  2. Cinderella (Start as a teen)
  3. Tiana (Start as a teen)
  4. Aurora (Start as an adult)
  5. Anna (Start as a teen)
    1. Elsa (Start as a teen) [I can’t do this one because I don’t have one of the expansion packs, but if I end up getting the Sims 2 Ultimate Collection, I will keep you guys posted!]
  6. Rapunzel (Start as a teen)
  7. Belle (Start as a young adult)
  8. Ariel (Start as a teen)
  9. Jasmine (Start as a teen)
  10. Merida (Start as an adult)
    1. Or Mulan (Start as an adult)

As you go through each generation, there are mini-tasks that you have to do for each princess. You are also allowed to add extra sims if you want to customize the princes.

This challenge is on the top of the list for me to try out and I seriously can’t wait!

The Teenage Dream Challenge

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Ever wondered what it would be like as a teenager living the dream with no parents? This one is for you!

Basically, you are a runaway teen that is on their own. You have to have a job or find a way to make money and basically, be a teenager, but with responsibilities. You can make the challenge even harder and make her have babies.

The Mommy Challenge

If you like dealing with kids or babies, in the Sims, then you’ll have fun with this challenge. Basically, all you need to do is have kids, can’t be married to them or have them live with you. Raise your kids up, while trying to complete your lifetime goal.

The only problem with this challenge is that there are no points or set goals for you too do.

The Vampire Legacy Challenge

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Love playing as the undead? Make a legacy out of it with this challenge!

I’m a big fan of vampires, don’t ask me why, but I love reading about them and to actually play as a vampire, sounds so much fun! Your goal is to make it through 10 generations, without using any types of cheats. It’s like the Legacy challenge, but you’re a blood-sucker.

The Perfect Mother Challenge

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Almost the same as the ‘Mommy Challenge’, but there are more tasks and goals for you to complete, the other big difference is that you can’t work until all your toddlers are children. If you don’t like raising babies and toddlers, I wouldn’t choose this challenge.

The 100 Baby’s Challenge

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One of the most popular and most known challenges is the 100 Babies Challenges. The goal is to have 100 babies, with the least amount of births and with different men sims. This is more challenging because the sims game will only let you have only 8 sims per household.

Mods and hacks are your best way to help you complete the challenge. What makes this even more challenging, is that you can’t have anyone help you! You are a single mom who has lots of babies! The good news is that once your teens get an A+, you can move their butts out to make more room for more babies!

The Family Business Challenge

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Have the OFB (Open For Business) Expansion pack, but haven’t actually tried it out on how to manage a home business? This challenge can get you on the right path, plus you get to know more about the OFB pack.

This is the Legacy Challenge and Business combined. Have generations, while trying to keep open the family business.

The Not So Berry Challenge

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Again, another legacy challenge, but with a colorful twist. Every generation represents a different color, but each head of the household has a different task and job. Making it more different and a chance for you to try out different aspirations, too.

Here are the list of generations and their colors:

  1. Mint
  2. Rose
  3. Yellow
  4. Grey
  5. Plum
  6. Orange
  7. Pink
  8. Peach
  9. Green
  10. Blue

You also have to have your entire household be dressed in the same color that the generation represents.

The Prosperity Challenge

Ready to leave all your choices to the dice? This challenge shakes up the Sims gameplay! You are literally creating an entire neighborhood, however, with the roll of the dice. It determines how many families you will have, what their gender is, age, and personality.

The best part is, you aren’t just stuck with just one family, you have to play around with the entire neighborhood you just created! I’m really excited to give this challenge a go.

The Immortal Challenge

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Ever wanted to see how long you can get your Sim to live for or just love the Sim you created and really don’t want to see them die? Well, this immortal challenge is something to definitely try out. You are a sim that builds wealth and a family.

Completing your Lifetime Wish and a list of objectives. You can get married and have a family, but once your spouse dies, you can remarry, start a new family, and a new job. It gives you a chance to switch it up.

The Rags to Riches Challenge

You start out as a poor sim with nothing (literally nothing) and make them be one of the most richest Sim in town! Building your home from scratch and working your way up to the highest career you can get!

A simple challenge, but you can’t get married until you have completed the challenge.

The Single Mom Challenge

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I know what you are probably thinking, another mommy-like challenge!? This one is different because you aren’t starting out with just one Sim. You start out with a family of sims, that lives very poor and the father dies (you kill him). Then you find out you are pregnant with twins (using a cheat).

Then you have to not only raise your kids but the new twins on the way. Here’s another twist, can’t have a job until she has about 15,000 dollars in the bank. Not only that, but this challenge makes you get creative and makes you dress everyone is ruined, old clothes. You can only upgrade stuff/clothes when you have 5,000 dollars.

So, here are a few that I’m interested in trying and hopefully, going to film, as well. Leave a comment down below if you are interested in seeing me play any other these challenges. There are a whole lot more, but these are the ones that have caught my eye!

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: What Some People Don’t Understand About Being A Stay-At-Home Mom

Posted on by Katie Night

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What do you think of when you hear ‘stay-at-home mom’? Do you think, ‘Wow, they are so lucky, they must get so much time.’ or ‘Their kids must drive them crazy!’ or ‘They probably didn’t want to go back to work.’ There are so many opinions about stay-at-home moms, but they don’t understand what goes through the mind of a stay-at-home mom.

I’m a stay-at-home mom. I made the decision to become one when I realized that I didn’t want to miss out on any of my daughters milestones. I also talked to my fiance to make sure it was something we could afford to do.

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However, I didn’t expect to be a stay at home mom. Way before I even had kids, I did have a plan of what I wanted to do in my future. I wanted to become a teacher. Still to this day, I would love to be a teacher, but sometimes plans change when you have kids.

Let’s get back to me being a stay-at-home mom. The other downfall is that I don’t have a way to get from place to place because I’ve got some compilations with getting my license, so once a week, my mother comes to pick me up and it gives me a chance to get out of the house.

When I get back home, I’m in this state of mind: lonely. I know I’m not alone, but when you are a stay-at-home mom, the only people you talk to is your children and whenever your spouse is home. You are probably saying, ‘Don’t you have other friends or mom friends you can talk to or invite over.’

Yes, I do, but here is the thing about me. I have no problem talk to close family, but when it comes to friends, I feel like this: I’m bothering them. They are probably busy. They don’t want to hear from me. I don’t have a car, they will think I’m using them. They probably don’t like me. 

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Those sentences run through my mind when I think about talking to someone other than my family. I do have a few friends that stay-at-home, but I will always feel like a bother to them. Which I might not be, but I feel like that for everyone, anytime someone does something for me or my family, I feel it was done because I was a bother.

Moving on, a lot of people think their house would be spotless, being able to stay home. I try my best to keep the place in ‘decent shape’, but between ordering stuff online, broken appliances, toys everywhere, and having a bunch of stuff that we have no room for, it’s very hard to keep this place spotless.

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I’m lucky to sweep at least once a week or vacuum. Dishes, the ones that we use the most get rewashed everyday, the other just sit until we need them. I’ve gotten all the dishes done at one point, but they stack up quicker. Laundry has been difficult because of the fact that they are broken.

It’s not just that, I worry about not being able to pay off bills, my own medical bills. I worry about little things, but they turn into giant things because my mind makes them a big thing.

You also have to take in fact that my daughter always wants me, so doing stuff around the house during the day is difficult. ‘You can get them done when she goes to sleep or takes a nap.’ Yeah, I can, during her naps, I try to get as much as I can done, but when she goes to sleep for the night, it’s difficult because I’m exhausted and I usually take that time to relax doing what I want to do. Sometimes, I’m just too tired and just go to bed.

The one thing people always asks me is: Do you love being a stay-at-home mom?

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Yes and no. The no part is that you don’t socialize very much with adults, chores can be a challenge to do, you get depressed very quickly, you mind feels, and you never get a break, sometimes. Why do I love it? I get to see my daughter reach milestones. Watch laugh, cry, walk, find her voice, play with her toys, talk, and most of all, make her known that she is loved.

If you are a stay-at-home mom and can get all the chores done, being able to sit on the couch folding laundry with a cup of coffee, watching your kids favorite T.V. show, good for you! I’m glad you have the motivation to do all that, I wish I had motivation for that.

But, if you are like me, where we barely get stuff done, spend it most with our kids, forgetting to sweep, worrying about what to do with stuff that you can’t decided to throw away or keep. It’s okay!

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It’s okay that our emotions get in the way, we just have to learn to deal with them in the most healthiest way possible. It’s okay if you reach out for help, sometimes you just need an outsiders point of view.

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Being Afraid Of The Scale

Posted on by Katie Night

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When I wake up in the morning, the first thing I see in the mirror is me. Not just me, but the extra weight that hangs over, under my arms, under my chin, and the worse, the muffin top.

Ever since I’ve been little, I hated the scale. In school, I didn’t want to step on it and have everyone find out what my weight was. To this day, stepping on the scale scares me. I’m afraid of it being too high. I’m afraid of everyone knowing my number of how much I weigh.

It’s hard for me to even think about losing weight, because I always hear everyone around me saying, ‘Isn’t she too young to be big for that size?’. It has scared me, to the point where I was ready to give up on trying to lose weight and ignore the comments.

The comments would always come back to haunt me. Even after having kids, I still haven’t managed to lose the baby weight, but other mothers are so lucky and drop it at the snap of their fingers. I’ve always wanted to be just like those moms, drop the extra weight and keep it off.

This morning, after I woke up, I did something I wouldn’t normally do. Step on the scale.

Just pulling it from under my sink, I worried on how big the number was going to be, even with me doing yoga for about a week. What if the number is too high? What if the yoga isn’t working or I’m not putting in enough effort? What if I am eating too much?

Those questions kept circling my mind as I finally stepped onto the scale. My face flushed as I looked down at the haunting number. 234.8. A lot of you might not think that its a lot, but for me, I have been in the 200’s since high school. It puts a damper on your mind. Or for me, I tell myself that it’s not good enough.

You see, we are told at a young age that we can’t be ‘big’ or ‘fat’. Even in school, they make us take a test on how ‘healthy’ we are, or to see how ‘overweight’ we are. To me, it made me feel that I had to be skinny to fit in, have friend, do sports, or even join teams.

Maybe its just me, that has problems trying to lose weight. Maybe I’m the only one having issues with it. It gets harder to want to do anything when technology keeps getting better and is making us become more lazy or not have motivation to do anything.

The real issue is that no of us should be afraid of stepping on a scale, but stepping on a scale will give you, not just a number, but where you would fit on the scale of what is socially normal to be, in this world today.

Next time you see an overweight person, don’t judge them because they are fat or look overweight, don’t judge them. You should only judge them as a person by their personality, not their looks.

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Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Why I Decided To Fix An Old Friendship

Posted on by Katie Night

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So, if you have been reading or following my blog since April of this year, I talked about how I had to get rid of one of my best friends because it was too much unwanted drama and stress. I didn’t fix that relationship, believe me, it’s not worth fixing, to me.

I’m talking about another relationship that I destroyed back in my senior year of high school. I can’t really remember why I got rid of her as a friend. I believe it was because I thought she was more drama, but I don’t have a set reason on why I did what I did.

I’ve known her since the 10th grade, but we really connected and became best friends in 11th grade. We had many fights, but always fixed them as soon as possible. When senior year was coming to an end, I ended the friendship. Maybe because I didn’t think I would see her as much? Maybe I wanted to end the pain of losing her as a friend?

The only thing I can think of is that I was very immature and everyone in high school can be immature. What really made me look back and realized all the stupid shit I did and all the people I pushed out of my life, was when I lost my son.

When you go through something as difficult and it changes you. You think of things differently, you rethink all your actions, and you become more mature after going through something as difficult as death or anything.

After my son died, I deleted my old Facebook and created a new one a few months after, I wanted time away from social media. Well, in the past couple weeks, I saw her profile pop up on my suggestions list for friends. I debated on whether on messaging her or not, just because on how I ended things so quickly and without reason.

I’ll be honest, when I finally got the courage to message her, I literally had it all wrote out on my phone, planning on what I was gonna say to her. Deep down, I knew that I should at least be an adult and say sorry for all the crap I caused. All I thought she would do is have my ass handed to me, which I totally deserved, but I was shocked.

I think she was shocked too when I sent that message, but I’m glad I did. She forgave me, something I didn’t think that would happen, but she did. It shows how much we have both grown up in the past almost 3 years.

We ended up telling each other everything we have done within the past 3 years. We even talked about our high school days. I was shocked to find out that she had been thinking about me too, wondering why I got rid of her as a friend.

If I looked back at the only really close friendships I had, the one I had with her, was probably the best because we clicked a lot better that I did with my other ex best friend. The ex best friend, we had a few things in common, but I feel I was more issues and drama because she wanted to be center of attention.

I’m glad I took the shot to fix a broken friendship that I ruined. It felt good to know that after 3 years, we clicked back, just like that. Even now, that I have kids, she still would’ve stayed if I just kept her in my life, but the past is in the past. I’m going to try my best to, hopefully, keep this friendship for many more years and years to come.

Posted in Gaming, Sims

The Sims Saga: Which Do I Prefer?

Posted on by Katie Night

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When you here the game Sims, what comes to mind? I think about The Sims games, creating a character and controlling their life. A lot of people forget that the Sims first originated from SimCity, where you created a city and made sure that it was successful.

I’m not going to talk about SimCity, though. This is mainly about The Sims. I’ll be honest, I’ve never actually played the Sims, but for it’s time, it was amazing. To be able to control their life, made them do whatever our hearts wanted them to do.

It was like GTA, but without the violence and free will to move your Sim manual. You could even create your dream house, have a family, or get the job of your dreams. When I got hooked, it wasn’t with the first The Sims, it was The Sims 2.

The Sims 2

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The first time I saw The Sims 2, was when I was on YouTube. I had came across it and it was recommend to me. A lot of people actually used The Sims 2 game, to create movies or series, or what got me hooked on, was the teen pregnancy series.

You must think that I’m weird to like to watch them, but seriously, look up the series ‘My Life’. The creator of that series, she really got me to thinking that I wanted to do something creative like that. If you actually watch her series, from her very first episode, to her newer ones, she has come a long way.

The Sims 2 had more to offer, as well. There were more add-on’s to the game, such as the different seasons, hobbies, and even jobs. It made the game play more like real life.

I finally had a chance to buy it for myself, and I am currently, trying to learn how to film and make a good series, that I will post on my YouTube channel.

Even if you aren’t trying to make a series, its a great way to past the time on a rainy day. Hell, I even when forward and created my fiance, son, daughter, and myself into the game. I highly recommend getting this game! It’s the best of both worlds.

Now, let’s talk about its, aftermath…The Sims 3.

The Sims 3

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I’m going to try my best not to bash this game. It wasn’t a bad sequel to The Sims 3. They added a lot of new things, such as making it easier to custom clothes and items, you didn’t have to wait for loading times to get from one place to another, and you could follow your Sim to work, the hospital, etc.

There was one BIG issue with this game. It is SO buggy. If you didn’t have the best computer in the world, you were bugging because your game would lag. Brand new or with mods, it would lag, or the loading time would take forever. Especially if you are in create-a-sim.

To me, the creators wanted to get this game out, as soon as possible because of the high demand that The Sims 2 was, so they did rush it, a little, by adding some stuff that the other games never had.

The one thing that I LOVED about it, was that you could follow your Sim anywhere without having to deal with those loading screens and the way you could custom, almost everything.

The Sims 3 was the first Sims game that I have ever own and I had the season, pets, and supernatural packs that made the game play so much fun! I wonder, now that I have a better computer, if it would run better?

Last, but not least, let’s get to the newer Sims game that came out in the last few years, The Sims 4.

The Sims 4

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Again, this is another game I haven’t touched, yet, and I have looked into seeing if it is really worth getting, but to me, the creators went back a couple steps. You think with a newer game, it would be better and would fix the problems from the last game, well, they did, but not very well.

I have heard that the game play is okay, graphics are okay, etc. It is missing A LOT from The Sims 3 game. You have loading screens for EVERYWHERE you go, even if you are going to the next door neighbor.

It’s not as buggy or laggy, as The Sims 3 was, but they had to get rid of a lot of stuff, in order to fix it, which a lot of people were disappointed in. The Sims 4, seems to me, boring. Just because they didn’t add anything new that would make us get excited.

Although, they did add a pack that basically makes you do your Sims job. Which was something that we could do in the other games, but I would rather just fast-forward my Sim’s job, then doing it, I’m already controlling pretty much them, why should I have to do their work for them?

Which is worth playing?

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The Sims 2, hands down. I would recommend it to everyone. It plays great on Windows 10, there is a few glitches, but it’s still playable. I like how the Sims are in this game and how you can do so much.

Plus, it still has that SimCity feeling to it, so that I could make my own town, I could. I am hoping to get a few more packs, just to play around with it some more. I do have the the Late Night and University packs, so I am hoping to either get Pets or Seasons next.

If you are a Sims fan, which game do you prefer? Leave a comment down below! There has also been a rumor that they are working on The Sims 5, do you thinks they should have another Sims? If so, what do you think they need to improve or leave alone?

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Dealing With Being Frustrated

Posted on by Katie Night

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As all parents know, we are bound to get frustrated with our kids, lifestyle, work, etc. How to deal with it, can be very difficult. Especially, when you are a stay-at-home mom. It’s even worse when you suffer from depression.

I get frustrated. I can admit that. A lot of people can’t.

I get frustrated over little things, that I can do nothing about. I get frustrated over the bigger things that I can’t fix. Sometimes, there is nothing you can do, until the time is right to fix something. Or in my case, money always frustrates me.

Sometimes I get very frustrated with my daughter. I get frustrated when she cries and there is nothing I can do to help her. Do I take it out on her? No. I put her in her crib, play pen, or anywhere where I know she won’t hurt herself. I then take a deep breathe, count to ten and then go back to my daughter and try to take care of her the best I can.

Another reason why I get very frustrated is that I haven’t felt comfortable to leave my daughter with anyone, yet. I bet you are all thinking or saying that I need a break. I do, but with my past history, it’s very hard to do.

Losing my son, is making it difficult to leave her with anyone. I feel that if I do, I am going to freak out, if she were to spend the night somewhere, or I would get that call that something is wrong. The only people that really understand what I am going through, are mother who have lost a baby.

My daughter is 7 months old and I am starting to realize that she just wants me, which frustrates me because I want to get stuff done in the house. I know it’s my fault, but it’s hard to let go. It’s like when your child goes in for their first day of preschool, its hard to watch them go.

Anyway, being frustrated doesn’t mean you are a bad parent, it means you need to take a step back and try different ways to relax your frustration. I’ve counted to 10, that has helped. Closing your eyes, working out, doing a hobby, or if you are in a pickle, closing your eyes and relaxing them to a second.

Meditation is what I’m going to try and get into because of the fact that I still don’t feel 100% comfortable to leave my daughter with anyone, yet.

If you are like me and can’t leave your child, for whatever reason, start with an hour. Leave your child with your spouse and see how you do. Try it out with different family family members and then slowly leave them for more that an hour or two.

When you know that baby is comfortable and you finally feel comfortable, then leave them with family for a night. You just have to get to, not only your comfort zone, but your child’s as well.

Another way to deal with frustration, is to talk to someone, someone you know that wouldn’t mind listening to whatever is frustrating you. Airing it out is a lot better than keeping it in. I know how hard it is to talk to someone, but you don’t want it to keep it all in.

Before it’s too late and then you end up screaming at someone.

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Dealing With The Loss Of A Child

Posted on by Katie Night

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As you all might know, or will find out, I lost my first born son, before he turned a month old. His birthday is next month and I wanted to talk to you about the loss of a child. Whether they were on this Earth for 5 years or two days, it still hurts the same.

June 25th, is coming soon, which is also my son’s birthday. He would have been two years old. As the month has been coming up, I haven’t been the same.

Last year, this time, I was working and was pregnant for my rainbow baby, my daughter. Work distracted me from the fact that I would celebrate his first birthday without him here. This year, he would have been two, and now that I am a stay-at-home mom, it has been really difficult.

You see, losing a child is very difficult to cope with, even at my age. I was 18, when I had him. I was 18, when we lost him. And because of losing him so soon, it made my fiance and I grow up a lot. What was the reason, you ask. Well, let me tell you.

When I was pregnant with my son, Liam, we found out he had a very serious disease, HLHS or Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome. Meaning the left side of his heart was underdeveloped. At first I never even hear the term, but after watching a lot of Grey’s, they talk about it all the time.

They don’t have enough research to explain why it happen, but it just did. ‘It was the way cells formed’, is what all the doctors would tell us. None of us wanted to believe that it was true, but the ultrasounds said otherwise. Once he was born, he was going to be going through a lot up until he turns about 3. Well, as you know, he didn’t make to 3. He didn’t even make it to his first birthday.

Everything went well, with his first surgery, but a blood clot stopped his heart and he just went downhill from there. Another reason why it’s even harder to deal with the lost of a child, is when you are holding them when their heart stopped, not just once, but twice.

That story is for another day, which I haven’t decided whether to post it or not.

He died on in my arms, I know a lot of people might think I’m crazy, but to me, I wanted him to know that he was going to heaven in the comfort of his parents arms.

One thing that a lot of people tell me is to get over it. I can’t just get over it. It’s not something you get over with, it takes time to cope with the fact that they are no longer with us. I though, I believe he is always watching from up above.

Please, if you know anyone who has ever lost a child, don’t ever tell them they need to ‘get over it’. You are a terrible person for even thinking that, just saying. If anything, we need to comfort those who have lost love ones.

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Dealing With Depression As A Mom

Posted on by Katie Night

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A lot of people think that having a baby will bring you joy and happiness for your family. Which is does, but a lot of people don’t understand that there is a lot going on then just taking care of a baby.

I have been dealing with depression since I was 13. It’s been a long rocky-road for me. Sometimes, I just wish that I could just be happy, but having depression, makes you want to do nothing. Be nothing. You are always sad inside and no one will really know unless you talk to them about it.

When you have a baby, after the baby is born, some mom struggle with, what it is called, ‘baby blues’. It usually happens to a lot of moms within the first month of their baby being born. That’s why a lot of OBGYN’s ask you about ‘baby blues’, at your 6 week post-postpartum check up. They want to make sure that you and the baby are in good hands.

As a mom who has already lost a child and just had another one, it’s really difficult for me to watch my daughter grow because my son died when he was only a month old. It’s started to hit me a few days ago, that’s why there hasn’t been a lot of blogging going on.

Not just with the depression, stress and other issues are also on my mind. It makes it worse, especially when you have a little one that needs you every waking minute. There are days that I don’t want to get up, but my daughter gives me the kick that I need to get up and go on with my life.

It makes me sad that I can’t see my son reach the milestones that my daughter is, but she gives me a sense of hope. Just because I lost my son, I can’t get up on the fact that he’s gone. I always know that he will always watch over my daughter and any future children that I may have.

Before you say that a newly mother can’t be depressed, think about this. Have you ever had a child? Have you ever thought of the crying to never end? Have you ever go nuts, in your mind, because your baby is crying and you don’t know why?

I give praises to newly mothers, especially ones that have babies or children with birth defects. I also want to praise all the mothers that try their best, when they think their best isn’t good enough.

You moms are doing amazing!

It’s good to hear a good thing or too. To me, it makes me feel inspired and more confident to shoot for the stars.

But the one thing that I always do, when I’m feeling depressed or down, I talk to someone. Whether it is a friend, family member, or my fiance. I talk to someone. I rather people know what’s going on, versus keeping it all locked inside. As much as I sometimes would rather not talk to anyone, I know that I should.

If you are a mom, who’s struggling with depression or ‘baby blues’, talk to someone or talk to your doctor, they can give you some medication that will make it easier for you to handle. As much as some people don’t like taking medications, I am one of those people, it does work.

I am always an open ear. Seriously, if you need someone to talk to, go to my Contact page and send me a message. It’s better to open up to someone, rather than no one.

To all those moms, you keep doing what you are doing, better days are sure to come.

*If you really need help and need to talk to someone or a medical professionally, click on the link below. It gives a list of hotlines and explains depression in depth. The hotline is there and is completely anonymous.

https://www.mentalhelp.net/articles/depression-hotline/

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Dealing With Family Drama

Posted on by Katie Night

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Drama is very difficult to avoid or stay away from. It’s its apart of our life, no matter what. Whether you are single or are in a relationship, drama is sure to find you.

Especially, if you are a parent and have children. However you decide how to raise your children, there will always be someone who talks behind you back about how much they really don’t like how you raise your children.

For me, I’ve got drama everywhere I look. In our house, if we have a problem, we sit down and deal with it and then move on. However, on both sides of our family, there are a few family members that haven’t really grown up yet, even with children.

Which, for me, I’ve grown up a lot, and I’m only 20. Losing my son, made me realize that I life is short and that we should make each day worth living for. It also made me realize that I’m too mature, even though sometimes I don’t act mature, that I don’t want to be around the drama.

I will admit that I am nosey, if it is about anyone else. Everyone can be nosey at some point in their life. You may or may not admit it, but it’s true.

What I am really getting at is that sometimes, the drama can children in the middle of it. I’m talking about when the adults get into an agruement and they ignore each other, preventing the children from bonding and creating a friendly relationship.

It makes me feel sad that cousins can’t have a good bond, like I do with my cousins, because one or the other parents have issues with a agruement.

I think that drama should be let back in high school. You either need to suck it up, buttercup. Or take you and the drama that follows, back to high school, where it belongs!

Families need to stick together through thick and thin. If you can’t get over an issue between your family members, think about your children and how it would effect them because the children should be the first thing that is thought about, not what issues you have with your family.

Unless, you are like me, and have that one person that did something really bad to you, that you don’t even want them to be in your or your childs life. Keep in mind, and I always have, it is your choice on who you want in your life and your childrens life.

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Struggles With Weight Loss

Posted on by Katie Night

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After you have a child, you still have the extra ‘baby fat’, as people would like to call it. But, for me, it’s completely different. I have struggled with weight loss for a very long time.

I’ve been considered ‘overweight’ ever since I was in middle school. I always got picked on and judged on how I looked that I never had any self esteem to get me motivated enough to really change.

I’ve been brought down by doctors, friends, and even some family, because of my weight. I’ve never really been motivate to find some exercise or a better diet that I feel comfortable changing or trying to do. I was one of those girls that would rather play video games than go outside.

High school, I grew to except it, but I wasn’t truly happy. I didn’t want to be thin like a toothpick. I wanted to lose the belly fat. The muffin top that made me feel like nothing would ever fit me because of it. I would change my clothes more than I could remember because I felt like I didn’t look good in them.

Until, I met my fiance. He made me fell like no matter what size I was, I was still beautiful. He helped me see past the muffin top. After having our daughter, I still have the muffin top. I’m a stay-at-home mom, it’s been difficult to do anything because I’m usually so tired in the morning and in the afternoon.

So I looked up what I could do to help me get rid of this muffin top, and keep it off, for good.

I looked up different exercises and challenges that I could try and I spotted the 30-Day Squat Challenge. I started it last Sunday, but I already notice a difference. My pants, that didn’t fit me, are slowly starting to fit me. I’m already starting to look a little smaller than I did.

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This is the Squat Challenge that I am doing. Just in case anyone is ready to make a change, just like I am.

I’m become proud of myself and excited that I’m finally doing, what took me years, to do. I want to feel what it’s like to be able to pick out clothes that actually fit, for once. I want people to notice me and not just my body size. I want to be able to love me for me.

I just started week 2 and I feel excited to do my squats every morning. I want to see if I can really finish this. I’m ready to make a change, a healthier change for not just my family, but for me.

 

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: When Do You Really Feel Ready For Another Child?

Posted on by Katie Night

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I will always think of myself as a mom of two. Even thought, my son isn’t on this world, I always consider him, in anything. I hate having to explain to people why he isn’t here with us today.

After having our daughter, I thought that our family was complete. One boy and one girl. That’s all I’ve ever wanted, but its not like that. My fiance told me that he would like to have another child before our daughter turns two. He wants to try and hope that our next baby will be a boy.

To me, my daughter is all I really want, right now. But lately, I’ve started to change my mind. My daughter is growing up and it’s going by faster than I thought. She’s 6 months old and I already feel like her first birthday will be here before I know it.

Having another baby, will definitely keep me on my toes, but it would make our family whole again. Losing my son, I’m scared to have another baby because the next baby I have, might have the same thing my son did. Even thought it’s rare, I’ve talked to mothers who had it happen to them twice.

My fiance is basically ready to have another baby now, if I asked him. Me, I feel like I should wait until my daughter is a little older. Before you start thinking about having another baby, there are a lot of factors that you have to keep in mind.

  1. Finances: If you barely get by with having one child, a second one, might not be the best idea. You want to make sure you have the money to get the diapers, wipes, or even formula(if you are like me and can barely produce enough breast milk).
  2. Space: Right now, we are in a two bedroom trailer. Let’s face it, trailers are small and there is not a lot of room. Make sure that you have room for another baby because opposite genders can only stay in the same room until they are 4 or 5. If it’s the same gender, then you can just have your kids share a room.
  3. Daycare/Sitter: I’m lucky enough that my fiance and I don’t need to worry about daycare or a sitter, since I am a stay-at-home mom. Even if I was working, my fiance wouldn’t let me put any of our kids in daycare. Usually daycare is really pricey. Since I am a stay-at-home mom, I got offered to take care of another little girl come November. So, if you know someone that you can have watch your children, it would cost less than a daycare would.
  4. Emotionally: If you can handle the other one above, this one, is the most important. You have to be emotionally ready to have another baby. If you aren’t ready, you may just want to just take your time before you start trying. For me, it will always be a difficult time to prepare myself for another child, because of what I went through with my son.

If you ever think or feel that you aren’t ready, don’t feel pressured to do so. It’s not just your significant other’s choice, it’s also your choice. Talk to them and let them know that you aren’t ready for another one.

For me, I’m just dreading the conversation with my fiance, if and when he brings up when we should start trying, because I don’t want him to feel upset or hurt if I say ‘I’m not ready.’ My fiance is very understand and supported, he feels that he doesn’t want our daughter to be a only child. He wants them to have another sibling that they can go to high school together.

Always talk to your significant other, talking may not be the most fun thing to do, but it’s better to open up versus letting it all soak inside.

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: How To Deal With Unwanted Advice

Posted on by Katie Night

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As a mom, you will get told by everyone how to care for your child. From your family to doctors to strangers. Even before the baby’s born, you will be told how to even talk care of yourself.

With my first pregnancy, I wasn’t as vocal as I wanted to be. I’ve always been a quiet ‘keep to myself kinda person.’ So, when I became pregnant with my son, I hear about how you shouldn’t do formula or you should use a diaper genie, list goes on.

My daughter, it was completely different. I put my foot down to a lot of stuff. I’m still trying to make sure that peoples advice, doesn’t change the way I want to raise my kids. Plus, we as moms, get judged on everything.

To me, I will take the advice into consideration, but if it’s something that I, as a parent, will not do to parent my child, then I speak up. Sometimes, I can’t speak up to a family member because I’m afraid of hurting their feelings, but I have learned that when it comes to you parenting your kids, the only feeling that matters is your kids and yours.

There are three ways you can handle unwanted advise:

  1. Ignoring  it – This is what I usually do, if a stranger were to approach me with unwanted advise. I usually will nod my head. Sometimes, I do it with family, its easier to do, if you don’t want to make a big deal out or you know it will turn into a giant fight, this would be your best go to.
  2. Speaking up, in a polite way – If you are a person that voices your opinion, but don’t want to offend anyone. This would be more towards close friends, maybe family. Telling them in a polite way, will make it seem not as harsh as bluntly coming out and telling them what is what.
  3. Bluntly telling them straight up – I only go this far, if I’m frustrated. If I have had a bad day and didn’t have any coffee, I snap. I usually will only snap at family, because they have been in my shoes. Plus they understand that they would rather me snap at them versus my kids.

There is one thing that we always need to keep in mind. How we parent our kids, may not be the same as other, but we should respect how others parent. The world we live in, there are too many people judging before they know the full story, but when it comes to advise, we need to handle it as we feel comfortable.

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Should You Smoke Around Your Children?

Posted on by Katie Night

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Back in the day, we didn’t know how bad smoking cigarettes can be. Now, you don’t see any commercials promoting cigarettes or tobacco. Still to this day, people still smoke cigarettes.

Had I smoked a cigarette before. Yes, but I didn’t smoke enough for me to become addicted to them. My fiance smokes and last year, he almost went an entire year without smoking, but unfortunately, he got back into the nasty habit.

Smoking is a very difficult thing to quit, but one thing that drives me nuts is parents who smoke around babies or children. I believe that a baby or a child shouldn’t be anywhere never or around cigarettes.

Some of you may think that its okay, just because you grew up in a time your parents smoked around you. It’s not. Second hand smoke is even worst then just smoking a cigarette. It’s even worst for babies or children to inhale it.

Even when you are in another room or holding up the cigarette away from the child, they can still inhale the second hand smoke. Especially in a car. Rolling down the windows WILL NOT prevent the smoke from getting to the child.

As a mother, who had a child with a heart condition, it’s even more fatal. I’m one of those moms that will not go into a house or car if it smells like cigarette smoke. I was never around it and I want my kids to not be around it.

I especially don’t want to hear or see my kids pretending or wanting to smoke a cigarette. I will teach my children that cigarettes are bad and that you shouldn’t be like someone just because the smoke cigarettes.

I believe that my children should be able to breathe in fresh clean air versus second hand smoke. I’ve lost family because of cigarettes, I don’t want to risk my children’s life just because someone has to have a habit that they started.

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Being a Stay-At-Home Mom

Posted on by Katie Night

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A lot of moms don’t have the pleasure to stay home with their children nowadays. Back then, the man of the house would work, while the woman stay home and take care of the kids and make sure the house is clean.

It’s not for everyone, being a stay-at-home mom. If you are like me, and don’t have a license, then you are very limited to where you can go. (I’m working on getting it now.) The only places I can really walk to are to my mother-in-law.

It can be depressing or you can lose your mind at times, believe me, but I always get out of the house, once a week. Just so I don’t lose my mind. At times, I feel overwhelm, but I just take a deep breath and count to ten and then get back to what I’m doing.

I’ll admit that I really only have patience for my kids, but when I am around other people’s children, I really try to not lose my cool.

You might be saying that I am a terrible person for saying that, but I may not be the only one who thinks this way. Don’t get me wrong, I love my children. I just don’t like how other people raise theirs, but I don’t say anything. I keep it to myself.

Anyway, the best part of staying home, is that I get to spend all day and every day with my daughter. I don’t get to miss out on her firsts of everything. The best part, my fiance makes enough for us to do it. He busts his ass everyday to make sure that I am able to do it.

Of course that wasn’t my original plan. I had a job, and ended up getting pregnant with our daughter. I planned to go back to work, after my maternity leave, but once my daughter was born, all I could think of was that I didn’t want to miss out on her growing up.

Plus, I didn’t want someone else to raise my daughter. I wanted to be the one to witness all of her firsts. My mother missed out on watching all three of us growing up. I didn’t want to miss out on anything.

I do have to say though, being a stay-at-home mom, was the best decision I made. Once I get my license, the door will open up for me and my family. We won’t have to depend on someone to take us to where ever we want to go, but we will be able to decide whether we want to leave or go.