mom – Katie's Blog

Mom Talk: Breakup Aftermath

Posted on June 12, 2021November 27, 2021 by Katie Night

Hey Dearies! I know it has been awhile, but lately I have been in a weird funk and I haven’t been in the right mind to really write lately, but after a few events, I really want to keep you all posted on what has been going on in my life lately.

As you all know, I left my daughter’s father and I guess a lot of people were very ‘shocked’ by it, but others weren’t. Long story short, I became very depressed being a stay at home mom last year and with my family far away, it was very difficult for me to handle. I don’t think my father’s daughter really understood what was going on and just thought it was something that I would just get out of.

Anyway, I left at the beginning of the year and his family was more shocked than everyone else that was around us, such as my family. My father daughter ‘didn’t see it coming’, but what he didn’t know, the signs were all there.

I was losing who I was and I wanted someone who wanted to grow with me.

As a mom, it’s hard to do something like this because we put the blame on us that we couldn’t try harder to keep your family together or we think back on what we could of done differently. Sadly, a relationship works both ways, two people have to both put the effort into a relationship, that wasn’t happening in my situation.

I had a very difficult time leaving, just like other moms, including my own, when they wanted to leave their relationship. It’s not easy, but it’s better for the parents to both be happy, whether they are together or not.

Sometimes, you have a break down and realized that you want to fix things, that happened to me a few weeks after I broke up with him. See, let me explain something that most moms like me would understand.

I wanted him to prove that he wanted me, that I was still someone he wanted to be with and spend the rest of our lives together, but the one thing that broke my heart more, he let me walk out the door and didn’t chase me or stop me.

You see, when you are in love with someone, you don’t want them to ever leave your side. That’s your person you want to be with for the rest of your life. Well, it broke my heart that he didn’t chase after me. Even though I left to take care of me, I wanted him to chase me and show me how much he cared for me.

Instead, he didn’t and it crushed me.

We did try to make things work and I gave him questions to answer, which he did. Some of the answers I was impressed, others not so much, but I’m not going to share that with anyone because of the fact that it was between him and I.

He wanted to start fresh, clean slate and work on things, but when I suggested therapy, he wasn’t for it at all. Which isn’t just him, a lot of people doesn’t think it helps when it really can, if you actually let it.

As you can guess, that didn’t happen and I had some time to think about everything. Why I left, what would happen if I went back, would I still be unhappy, the same questions I asked before leaving him. Instead, I made the choice that we should co-parent and be peaceful for our daughter’s sake.

We both agreed that this would be what is best for our daughter, which in a way shocked me because for someone that wanted to work on things, he was really okay with just co-parenting. Which was fine, however, something recent happened that really put me in this weird place.

Before I explained what happened, this upcoming month, our son would’ve been 5 years old and this was going to be the first time that we were going to celebrate it not being together as a couple. This year was going to be even harder because this is the 5 year mark that he has been gone.

I’ll be honest, this has been the hardest year for me to endure. I’ve been trying to be strong for my daughter’s sake, but it’s harder said that done.

Anyway, I was scrolling on social media and I saw something that made my heart fall into my stomach. Another female tagged him in something that was like a ‘cute post’, you know the ones that people do when they are getting to know each other or when they are dating.

I was hurt. I was broken. I was crushed. Most of all, I was angry.

I know what most of you are thinking, “you left him”, “he’s single”. Which you are all right, I shouldn’t make a bigger deal that it should be and I’m not trying to, but it’s hard to not let things like this bug you, especially since this was about 3 weeks after we decided to co-parent.

When you truly love someone, you can’t move on as quickly as you think you can. Everyone is different, but if you really truly love someone, you wouldn’t move on as quick as you could. Healing from a break-up takes time, but everyone is different.

I just thought after 6 years together and 2 kids, I thought I meant more to him than I thought. I feel like he is trying to replace me.

That’s what hurt me the most.

I looked back at all the memories that we made, the good, the bad and all I could think of was it all a lie? Did I not mean anything to him? Am I that easy for people to replace?

This isn’t the first time this has happened to me, my ex before my daughter’s father did the same exact thing. So, to have it happen again, but with someone that you have kids with, all I could think of what is wrong with me?

Is it how I look? Did I not mean anything to him to begin with? What he using me? Did he just dealt with me until I left? Did he want me to leave him? Did he even care? Did he really love me?

All those questions are still running around in my head and I don’t know why. Situations like this either should people’s true colors or makes you wonder if you were the problem. I give so much for others, I’ve always done that. Put other’s before myself and people take advantage of me for that.

So, now, I’m trying my best to pretend like it doesn’t bother me and try to take it one day at a time. All I can do now is be the best mother in the world to my daughter. That’s all I can be.

I know this isn’t a happy post, but I just had to get this all out and don’t worry, I’m going to try my best to come back and start doing my blog again, but with these next 2 months are going to be the hardest, so I may or may not be posting anything for a little bit.

Mom Talk

Mom Talk: It’s Okay To Not Keep Everything (Baby Stuff)

Posted on February 9, 2020 by Katie Night

Hey Dearies, I wanted to talk about another big problem that us moms have that I don’t think anyone has mentioned. What’s worth keeping and what’s not worth keeping from your baby’s stuff.

I know a few are you are problem screaming at me through the screen saying, ‘WHAT?!’, but let me tell you why.

As a mother who has lost a child and is currently raising one at the moment, we want to keep stuff that they have ever use, such as outfits, blankets, shoes, bibs, toys, etc. The list goes on and on, to the point you have to ask yourself one question:

Where am I going to put this all?

But, I’m here to tell you, it’s okay that you don’t keep everything. If you are like me and live in a tiny trailer, then you understand where I’m coming from. When you have a baby, you get lots of stuff and most of the stuff is NEVER used or is used maybe once or twice.

When my son passed away, I wanted to keep all of his stuff, even stuff that he had never used, not just for memories, but for our next baby. Not to mention, I made sure his stuff, that he did wear, would be in his own tote.

Growing up, my mom make sure us kids had 3 totes. Inside, she had a few of our favorite outfits, first pairs of shoes, baby books, and some other stuff. I loved the idea of keeping a tote for each of my kids, which is exactly what I did.

Even when I kept my son’s stuff, I still had a LOT stuff that I was never been able to use, not to mention, a lot of family member also get you stuff for the baby to be, which can be super helpful, but sometimes you feel like you HAVE to keep stuff like that. But let me tell you something:

ITS OKAY TO NOT WANT TO KEEP IT!

Don’t let friends and family make you think you HAVE to keep stuff that you don’t have room for or you just don’t want to keep. There are plenty of parents and parents-to-be who are in need of stuff as such.

Yes, you can save those items for the next child you plan to have, but if you don’t have space, sell it or give it to those who need it! Don’t have your house cluttered just because you want to save it for the next baby because when you do plan to have another baby, someone else will be willing to give you the same stuff that you gave them.

So, I bet you are probably wondering, why I even wanted to bring this up. Well, let me get to that because it wasn’t just because I had a lot of leftover stuff, it had more to do with the fact that my daughter was getting older and her room was turning more into storage, than an actual bedroom.

Yes, we do have closets, but living in a small trailer, you don’t have much room to begin with, so you have to work with what you got.

Since my daughter was getting older, I decided that it was overdue for me to go through her stuff and figure out what I was going to do with it all because she needed a room that she can actually play in.

I went through any baby stuff, such as clothes, rockers, bouncy seat, bibs, walkers, etc. Since my daughter was too old to be using those, I sold them. Which, to me, isn’t a big deal because they didn’t have any attachment to it.

So, what did I actually keep?

Baby Book
Hospital Bracelets
First outfits
First pairs of shoes
An outfit that she wore, only one from each size.
First pacifier
First blanket
The first dress I crocheted her
The crib
The bassinet
Baby swing

That’s it. The last three are because they had a meaning to me, which I am going to keep for that sake, but everything else fits in her tote. Also, when I mean I’m saving an outfit from each size, it’s one outfit from newborn to 12 months. Anything else, I have either donated or sold to those who really need it.

But as moms or new moms, don’t feel pressured to keep everything, it’s okay to not want to. And it’s okay to keep everything, if you have the room and space for it, go for it!

Whatever preference you decide, it’s okay. Just remember, the moments and memories you create, is worth more than items itself.

Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Fear Of Losing All Your Adult Teeth

Posted on December 5, 2019December 5, 2019 by Katie Night

Okay, so this is something that really isn’t talked about, but I figured I would brush on it because it has always been a fear of losing an adult tooth. The real why I’m talking about it is because I’m not the only one who fears of losing their teeth.

When you are little, losing teeth was exciting because we would always get a visit from the tooth fairy that took our teeth and replaced us with money, but when you become an adult, losing an adult tooth can cause more anxiety, fear, and panic, especially if you don’t have any control over it.

The real reason why I’m bringing this topic up because a few months ago, I was, still am, freaking out over my teeth. One of my top front teeth was loose, just a little bit, but any adult tooth that moves, to me, it’s gonna fall out. I when to the dentist and they told me to take it easy and not bite into anything hard.

To me, my mind was racing everywhere, my anxiety was making me think that I was gonna lose it, I’m gonna have to get an implant or worse, they’ll pull all my teeth out and I’ll have to get dentures. Not to mention, the big key factor, it’s gonna cost money that I don’t have for it.

You are probably laughing about it, but you don’t understand, this is how my anxiety is.

With that being said, I started to do what you shouldn’t do when your anxiety is as bad as mine is. Google.

I was searching for everything from bad gum disease to implants to getting dentures. Not to mention, I started watching videos about everyday people who have had dentures since they were young.

It was bad, I couldn’t sleep a few nights because of my research.

Anyway, let’s get back to what happened when I felt that my tooth was moving. I was flossing and sometimes, my gums bleed if I floss too hard, not to mention that I haven’t been to the dentist in almost 2 years because I couldn’t afford it. So, I freaked out.

I tried to have breakfast and couldn’t finish it because I thought I felt my top tooth move, so I called my dentist and they scheduled me to come in right away. So, I went in and they took a look at the tooth and did confirm that I wasn’t nuts and it was moving slightly, keyword slightly.

Not to mention, I’m 22 and I STILL have my wisdom teeth in, they told me I needed to go get those pulled. They don’t bother me, but up until now, they are starting to push my teeth together, not to mention if I’m getting one pulled, you might as well get them all pulled.

With that being said, I’ve been brushing, flossing, and mouth rising like it is a religion because I’m afraid to have dentures.

But why are we so afraid to get dentures? Well, because we think it’s for old people, which you aren’t wrong, but there are young people who have them as well. The youngest person to ever wear dentures is 3 years old.

That’s crazy, but depending on what their genetics are, it can force you to be without your teeth. If you go on Youtube, you’ll find lots of people, young and old people, who had dentures and how they are trying to make it so it isn’t just for ‘older’ folks.

Some of them even have dental implants, which can cost a fortune, just to get them. Hearing their stories and what they struggled with losing their teeth, especially at a young age, makes me inspired. Not to mention, it won’t make me feel alone because there are people at my age that have fake teeth.

It’s something no one should be ashamed about, but instead, embrace it.

Especially since I’ve had 2 children and pregnancy can do a HUGE number onto your teeth. So, if it happens to me, it happens. Seeing those videos and reading about these people that have dentures or fake teeth, relaxes me in a way and it lets you know that you aren’t alone.

Do you have fears that your teeth are going to fall out? Leave a comment down below, I would love to know that I’m not the only one that has a fear about it.

Mom Talk

Mom Talk: What You Should Think About Before Joining A MLM

Posted on April 25, 2019 by Katie Night

Hey Dearies! So lately, I’ve been seeing a lot of my friends have been joining MLM businesses. In the past few years, these MLM businesses have everywhere! There isn’t one person that I know that is or did join an MLM business.

If you don’t know what an MLM is, let me explain: MLM stands for multi-level marketing. It is also called the ‘pyramid selling’, ‘network marketing’, and referral marking’.

In simpler terms, they want you to have more of your friends join so you can go up higher in the company.

Here are a few companies that are MLM:

Avon
Mary Kay
Herbalife
Scenty
doTerra
Younique
Le-vel
Pampered Chef
It Works!
Paparazzi

These are just a few of the MANY MLM businesses that are out there. I only labeled a few that are the most popular or what I have seen is the most popular.

I bet you are wondering, who are the targets for these companies?

Stay-at-home moms or moms in general. Some companies like to have their reps post on how you can work from home and still spend time with your children. Which are most mother’s dreams, who wouldn’t want to stay home with their kids and make money all at the same time?

Unfortunately, a lot of people jump into these businesses, after being persuaded to try one of these companies products out. So, I’m going to talk about the things you need to know BEFORE joining an MLM business.

Do you like the products that they sell?

First things first, you have to love what you are selling before selling it. Most people get into MLM businesses because they loved the products that the businesses were selling. Think of it this way, if you wouldn’t use it or buy it, why would you have your friends and family buy it?

Talk to a form rep or read reviews from former reps online.

Before even investing a dime into an MLM business, talk to the former reps! From their experience, they can tell you what they wished they could’ve done differently. They can also give you some pointers on what helped them out when they were active in that company. Even ask them why they left and keep that in mind when you are thinking about joining an MLM company.

DON’T talk to the reps that are still active, they will most likely convince you to join the company and tell you how great it is, but you need to make sure you have not just the pros, but the cons too.

How much money will you have to invest?

This is another big one to think about. Especially, if you are a stay-at-home mom. Making sure you know or have an idea of how much money you spend on an MLM company, is a HUGE thing to know.

Reps will talk about how it’s only a small or one-time price to join, but you also have to think about if you will be buying more products. Remember, you have to show what you are selling to make a sale if your clients don’t know what it looks like or wants to see it in person.

Will you have the time for it?

This is also another thing to think about. Some of the companies want you to post on your social media all the time about the products or hounding you to make a sale. If you are a stay-at-home mom, you want to make sure that you can care and spend as much time with your kids, but if you also have to post or make sales, it might be harder to do.

How many other people, such as friends and family, sell it?

You won’t be the only one selling for an MLM company, but it is good to know who is selling from the same company you are. If you have more than 3 people selling the same products you are, it is going to be difficult to even make a sale.

A lot of people don’t think about it either, they get so excited to sell the products that an MLM is offering, that when it comes time to do so, they are having even more trouble trying to make a sale since they find out that more peeps on their friends list are selling the same thing that you are.

DO YOUR RESEARCH ON THE COMPANY!!

A lot of people forget to even think about this before joining. You want to make sure that the company is everything that you are told it is. If they support or donate money to a charity or support a group, make sure that they are really doing so.

Before becoming a rep, you want to make sure that when you get into an MLM company, they are everything you support. Making sure that the quality of the product is the same as well and also making sure what they claim is true, as well.

Doing your own research and making a list of the pros and cons of the company is something you must do, especially if you want to join an MLM company.

Take your time, don’t rush into it.

Looking over all the pros and cons of an MLM company, you can decide whether this is something you want to do. Talk it over with your spouse, family, and friends, get their insights about it.

Take as long as you need, just remember, the choice is yours. If you think it’s a great idea, go for it! Just make sure that the company and its products are what you are passionate about. Remember, if you wouldn’t buy it, why would you want to sell it to anyone else?

Mom Talk