Tag: friends

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: What Some People Don’t Understand About Being A Stay-At-Home Mom

Posted on by Katie Night

Image result for stay at home mom quotes

What do you think of when you hear ‘stay-at-home mom’? Do you think, ‘Wow, they are so lucky, they must get so much time.’ or ‘Their kids must drive them crazy!’ or ‘They probably didn’t want to go back to work.’ There are so many opinions about stay-at-home moms, but they don’t understand what goes through the mind of a stay-at-home mom.

I’m a stay-at-home mom. I made the decision to become one when I realized that I didn’t want to miss out on any of my daughters milestones. I also talked to my fiance to make sure it was something we could afford to do.

Image result for stay at home mom quotes

However, I didn’t expect to be a stay at home mom. Way before I even had kids, I did have a plan of what I wanted to do in my future. I wanted to become a teacher. Still to this day, I would love to be a teacher, but sometimes plans change when you have kids.

Let’s get back to me being a stay-at-home mom. The other downfall is that I don’t have a way to get from place to place because I’ve got some compilations with getting my license, so once a week, my mother comes to pick me up and it gives me a chance to get out of the house.

When I get back home, I’m in this state of mind: lonely. I know I’m not alone, but when you are a stay-at-home mom, the only people you talk to is your children and whenever your spouse is home. You are probably saying, ‘Don’t you have other friends or mom friends you can talk to or invite over.’

Yes, I do, but here is the thing about me. I have no problem talk to close family, but when it comes to friends, I feel like this: I’m bothering them. They are probably busy. They don’t want to hear from me. I don’t have a car, they will think I’m using them. They probably don’t like me. 

Image result for stay at home mom quotes

Those sentences run through my mind when I think about talking to someone other than my family. I do have a few friends that stay-at-home, but I will always feel like a bother to them. Which I might not be, but I feel like that for everyone, anytime someone does something for me or my family, I feel it was done because I was a bother.

Moving on, a lot of people think their house would be spotless, being able to stay home. I try my best to keep the place in ‘decent shape’, but between ordering stuff online, broken appliances, toys everywhere, and having a bunch of stuff that we have no room for, it’s very hard to keep this place spotless.

Image result for stay at home mom quotes

I’m lucky to sweep at least once a week or vacuum. Dishes, the ones that we use the most get rewashed everyday, the other just sit until we need them. I’ve gotten all the dishes done at one point, but they stack up quicker. Laundry has been difficult because of the fact that they are broken.

It’s not just that, I worry about not being able to pay off bills, my own medical bills. I worry about little things, but they turn into giant things because my mind makes them a big thing.

You also have to take in fact that my daughter always wants me, so doing stuff around the house during the day is difficult. ‘You can get them done when she goes to sleep or takes a nap.’ Yeah, I can, during her naps, I try to get as much as I can done, but when she goes to sleep for the night, it’s difficult because I’m exhausted and I usually take that time to relax doing what I want to do. Sometimes, I’m just too tired and just go to bed.

The one thing people always asks me is: Do you love being a stay-at-home mom?

Image result for stay at home mom quotes

Yes and no. The no part is that you don’t socialize very much with adults, chores can be a challenge to do, you get depressed very quickly, you mind feels, and you never get a break, sometimes. Why do I love it? I get to see my daughter reach milestones. Watch laugh, cry, walk, find her voice, play with her toys, talk, and most of all, make her known that she is loved.

If you are a stay-at-home mom and can get all the chores done, being able to sit on the couch folding laundry with a cup of coffee, watching your kids favorite T.V. show, good for you! I’m glad you have the motivation to do all that, I wish I had motivation for that.

But, if you are like me, where we barely get stuff done, spend it most with our kids, forgetting to sweep, worrying about what to do with stuff that you can’t decided to throw away or keep. It’s okay!

Image result for stay at home mom quotes

It’s okay that our emotions get in the way, we just have to learn to deal with them in the most healthiest way possible. It’s okay if you reach out for help, sometimes you just need an outsiders point of view.

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Why I Decided To Fix An Old Friendship

Posted on by Katie Night

Image result for best friend quotes

So, if you have been reading or following my blog since April of this year, I talked about how I had to get rid of one of my best friends because it was too much unwanted drama and stress. I didn’t fix that relationship, believe me, it’s not worth fixing, to me.

I’m talking about another relationship that I destroyed back in my senior year of high school. I can’t really remember why I got rid of her as a friend. I believe it was because I thought she was more drama, but I don’t have a set reason on why I did what I did.

I’ve known her since the 10th grade, but we really connected and became best friends in 11th grade. We had many fights, but always fixed them as soon as possible. When senior year was coming to an end, I ended the friendship. Maybe because I didn’t think I would see her as much? Maybe I wanted to end the pain of losing her as a friend?

The only thing I can think of is that I was very immature and everyone in high school can be immature. What really made me look back and realized all the stupid shit I did and all the people I pushed out of my life, was when I lost my son.

When you go through something as difficult and it changes you. You think of things differently, you rethink all your actions, and you become more mature after going through something as difficult as death or anything.

After my son died, I deleted my old Facebook and created a new one a few months after, I wanted time away from social media. Well, in the past couple weeks, I saw her profile pop up on my suggestions list for friends. I debated on whether on messaging her or not, just because on how I ended things so quickly and without reason.

I’ll be honest, when I finally got the courage to message her, I literally had it all wrote out on my phone, planning on what I was gonna say to her. Deep down, I knew that I should at least be an adult and say sorry for all the crap I caused. All I thought she would do is have my ass handed to me, which I totally deserved, but I was shocked.

I think she was shocked too when I sent that message, but I’m glad I did. She forgave me, something I didn’t think that would happen, but she did. It shows how much we have both grown up in the past almost 3 years.

We ended up telling each other everything we have done within the past 3 years. We even talked about our high school days. I was shocked to find out that she had been thinking about me too, wondering why I got rid of her as a friend.

If I looked back at the only really close friendships I had, the one I had with her, was probably the best because we clicked a lot better that I did with my other ex best friend. The ex best friend, we had a few things in common, but I feel I was more issues and drama because she wanted to be center of attention.

I’m glad I took the shot to fix a broken friendship that I ruined. It felt good to know that after 3 years, we clicked back, just like that. Even now, that I have kids, she still would’ve stayed if I just kept her in my life, but the past is in the past. I’m going to try my best to, hopefully, keep this friendship for many more years and years to come.

Posted in Gaming, Sims

The Sims Saga: Which Do I Prefer?

Posted on by Katie Night

Image result for the sims

When you here the game Sims, what comes to mind? I think about The Sims games, creating a character and controlling their life. A lot of people forget that the Sims first originated from SimCity, where you created a city and made sure that it was successful.

I’m not going to talk about SimCity, though. This is mainly about The Sims. I’ll be honest, I’ve never actually played the Sims, but for it’s time, it was amazing. To be able to control their life, made them do whatever our hearts wanted them to do.

It was like GTA, but without the violence and free will to move your Sim manual. You could even create your dream house, have a family, or get the job of your dreams. When I got hooked, it wasn’t with the first The Sims, it was The Sims 2.

The Sims 2

Image result for the sims 2

The first time I saw The Sims 2, was when I was on YouTube. I had came across it and it was recommend to me. A lot of people actually used The Sims 2 game, to create movies or series, or what got me hooked on, was the teen pregnancy series.

You must think that I’m weird to like to watch them, but seriously, look up the series ‘My Life’. The creator of that series, she really got me to thinking that I wanted to do something creative like that. If you actually watch her series, from her very first episode, to her newer ones, she has come a long way.

The Sims 2 had more to offer, as well. There were more add-on’s to the game, such as the different seasons, hobbies, and even jobs. It made the game play more like real life.

I finally had a chance to buy it for myself, and I am currently, trying to learn how to film and make a good series, that I will post on my YouTube channel.

Even if you aren’t trying to make a series, its a great way to past the time on a rainy day. Hell, I even when forward and created my fiance, son, daughter, and myself into the game. I highly recommend getting this game! It’s the best of both worlds.

Now, let’s talk about its, aftermath…The Sims 3.

The Sims 3

Image result for the sims 3

I’m going to try my best not to bash this game. It wasn’t a bad sequel to The Sims 3. They added a lot of new things, such as making it easier to custom clothes and items, you didn’t have to wait for loading times to get from one place to another, and you could follow your Sim to work, the hospital, etc.

There was one BIG issue with this game. It is SO buggy. If you didn’t have the best computer in the world, you were bugging because your game would lag. Brand new or with mods, it would lag, or the loading time would take forever. Especially if you are in create-a-sim.

To me, the creators wanted to get this game out, as soon as possible because of the high demand that The Sims 2 was, so they did rush it, a little, by adding some stuff that the other games never had.

The one thing that I LOVED about it, was that you could follow your Sim anywhere without having to deal with those loading screens and the way you could custom, almost everything.

The Sims 3 was the first Sims game that I have ever own and I had the season, pets, and supernatural packs that made the game play so much fun! I wonder, now that I have a better computer, if it would run better?

Last, but not least, let’s get to the newer Sims game that came out in the last few years, The Sims 4.

The Sims 4

Image result for the sims 4

Again, this is another game I haven’t touched, yet, and I have looked into seeing if it is really worth getting, but to me, the creators went back a couple steps. You think with a newer game, it would be better and would fix the problems from the last game, well, they did, but not very well.

I have heard that the game play is okay, graphics are okay, etc. It is missing A LOT from The Sims 3 game. You have loading screens for EVERYWHERE you go, even if you are going to the next door neighbor.

It’s not as buggy or laggy, as The Sims 3 was, but they had to get rid of a lot of stuff, in order to fix it, which a lot of people were disappointed in. The Sims 4, seems to me, boring. Just because they didn’t add anything new that would make us get excited.

Although, they did add a pack that basically makes you do your Sims job. Which was something that we could do in the other games, but I would rather just fast-forward my Sim’s job, then doing it, I’m already controlling pretty much them, why should I have to do their work for them?

Which is worth playing?

Image result for the sims

The Sims 2, hands down. I would recommend it to everyone. It plays great on Windows 10, there is a few glitches, but it’s still playable. I like how the Sims are in this game and how you can do so much.

Plus, it still has that SimCity feeling to it, so that I could make my own town, I could. I am hoping to get a few more packs, just to play around with it some more. I do have the the Late Night and University packs, so I am hoping to either get Pets or Seasons next.

If you are a Sims fan, which game do you prefer? Leave a comment down below! There has also been a rumor that they are working on The Sims 5, do you thinks they should have another Sims? If so, what do you think they need to improve or leave alone?

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Dealing With Being Frustrated

Posted on by Katie Night

Image result for being frustrated quotes

As all parents know, we are bound to get frustrated with our kids, lifestyle, work, etc. How to deal with it, can be very difficult. Especially, when you are a stay-at-home mom. It’s even worse when you suffer from depression.

I get frustrated. I can admit that. A lot of people can’t.

I get frustrated over little things, that I can do nothing about. I get frustrated over the bigger things that I can’t fix. Sometimes, there is nothing you can do, until the time is right to fix something. Or in my case, money always frustrates me.

Sometimes I get very frustrated with my daughter. I get frustrated when she cries and there is nothing I can do to help her. Do I take it out on her? No. I put her in her crib, play pen, or anywhere where I know she won’t hurt herself. I then take a deep breathe, count to ten and then go back to my daughter and try to take care of her the best I can.

Another reason why I get very frustrated is that I haven’t felt comfortable to leave my daughter with anyone, yet. I bet you are all thinking or saying that I need a break. I do, but with my past history, it’s very hard to do.

Losing my son, is making it difficult to leave her with anyone. I feel that if I do, I am going to freak out, if she were to spend the night somewhere, or I would get that call that something is wrong. The only people that really understand what I am going through, are mother who have lost a baby.

My daughter is 7 months old and I am starting to realize that she just wants me, which frustrates me because I want to get stuff done in the house. I know it’s my fault, but it’s hard to let go. It’s like when your child goes in for their first day of preschool, its hard to watch them go.

Anyway, being frustrated doesn’t mean you are a bad parent, it means you need to take a step back and try different ways to relax your frustration. I’ve counted to 10, that has helped. Closing your eyes, working out, doing a hobby, or if you are in a pickle, closing your eyes and relaxing them to a second.

Meditation is what I’m going to try and get into because of the fact that I still don’t feel 100% comfortable to leave my daughter with anyone, yet.

If you are like me and can’t leave your child, for whatever reason, start with an hour. Leave your child with your spouse and see how you do. Try it out with different family family members and then slowly leave them for more that an hour or two.

When you know that baby is comfortable and you finally feel comfortable, then leave them with family for a night. You just have to get to, not only your comfort zone, but your child’s as well.

Another way to deal with frustration, is to talk to someone, someone you know that wouldn’t mind listening to whatever is frustrating you. Airing it out is a lot better than keeping it in. I know how hard it is to talk to someone, but you don’t want it to keep it all in.

Before it’s too late and then you end up screaming at someone.

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Dealing With Depression As A Mom

Posted on by Katie Night

Image result for depression

A lot of people think that having a baby will bring you joy and happiness for your family. Which is does, but a lot of people don’t understand that there is a lot going on then just taking care of a baby.

I have been dealing with depression since I was 13. It’s been a long rocky-road for me. Sometimes, I just wish that I could just be happy, but having depression, makes you want to do nothing. Be nothing. You are always sad inside and no one will really know unless you talk to them about it.

When you have a baby, after the baby is born, some mom struggle with, what it is called, ‘baby blues’. It usually happens to a lot of moms within the first month of their baby being born. That’s why a lot of OBGYN’s ask you about ‘baby blues’, at your 6 week post-postpartum check up. They want to make sure that you and the baby are in good hands.

As a mom who has already lost a child and just had another one, it’s really difficult for me to watch my daughter grow because my son died when he was only a month old. It’s started to hit me a few days ago, that’s why there hasn’t been a lot of blogging going on.

Not just with the depression, stress and other issues are also on my mind. It makes it worse, especially when you have a little one that needs you every waking minute. There are days that I don’t want to get up, but my daughter gives me the kick that I need to get up and go on with my life.

It makes me sad that I can’t see my son reach the milestones that my daughter is, but she gives me a sense of hope. Just because I lost my son, I can’t get up on the fact that he’s gone. I always know that he will always watch over my daughter and any future children that I may have.

Before you say that a newly mother can’t be depressed, think about this. Have you ever had a child? Have you ever thought of the crying to never end? Have you ever go nuts, in your mind, because your baby is crying and you don’t know why?

I give praises to newly mothers, especially ones that have babies or children with birth defects. I also want to praise all the mothers that try their best, when they think their best isn’t good enough.

You moms are doing amazing!

It’s good to hear a good thing or too. To me, it makes me feel inspired and more confident to shoot for the stars.

But the one thing that I always do, when I’m feeling depressed or down, I talk to someone. Whether it is a friend, family member, or my fiance. I talk to someone. I rather people know what’s going on, versus keeping it all locked inside. As much as I sometimes would rather not talk to anyone, I know that I should.

If you are a mom, who’s struggling with depression or ‘baby blues’, talk to someone or talk to your doctor, they can give you some medication that will make it easier for you to handle. As much as some people don’t like taking medications, I am one of those people, it does work.

I am always an open ear. Seriously, if you need someone to talk to, go to my Contact page and send me a message. It’s better to open up to someone, rather than no one.

To all those moms, you keep doing what you are doing, better days are sure to come.

*If you really need help and need to talk to someone or a medical professionally, click on the link below. It gives a list of hotlines and explains depression in depth. The hotline is there and is completely anonymous.

https://www.mentalhelp.net/articles/depression-hotline/

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Struggles With Weight Loss

Posted on by Katie Night

Image result for weight loss

After you have a child, you still have the extra ‘baby fat’, as people would like to call it. But, for me, it’s completely different. I have struggled with weight loss for a very long time.

I’ve been considered ‘overweight’ ever since I was in middle school. I always got picked on and judged on how I looked that I never had any self esteem to get me motivated enough to really change.

I’ve been brought down by doctors, friends, and even some family, because of my weight. I’ve never really been motivate to find some exercise or a better diet that I feel comfortable changing or trying to do. I was one of those girls that would rather play video games than go outside.

High school, I grew to except it, but I wasn’t truly happy. I didn’t want to be thin like a toothpick. I wanted to lose the belly fat. The muffin top that made me feel like nothing would ever fit me because of it. I would change my clothes more than I could remember because I felt like I didn’t look good in them.

Until, I met my fiance. He made me fell like no matter what size I was, I was still beautiful. He helped me see past the muffin top. After having our daughter, I still have the muffin top. I’m a stay-at-home mom, it’s been difficult to do anything because I’m usually so tired in the morning and in the afternoon.

So I looked up what I could do to help me get rid of this muffin top, and keep it off, for good.

I looked up different exercises and challenges that I could try and I spotted the 30-Day Squat Challenge. I started it last Sunday, but I already notice a difference. My pants, that didn’t fit me, are slowly starting to fit me. I’m already starting to look a little smaller than I did.

Image result for squat challenge

This is the Squat Challenge that I am doing. Just in case anyone is ready to make a change, just like I am.

I’m become proud of myself and excited that I’m finally doing, what took me years, to do. I want to feel what it’s like to be able to pick out clothes that actually fit, for once. I want people to notice me and not just my body size. I want to be able to love me for me.

I just started week 2 and I feel excited to do my squats every morning. I want to see if I can really finish this. I’m ready to make a change, a healthier change for not just my family, but for me.

 

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: When Do You Really Feel Ready For Another Child?

Posted on by Katie Night

Image result for thinking of another child

I will always think of myself as a mom of two. Even thought, my son isn’t on this world, I always consider him, in anything. I hate having to explain to people why he isn’t here with us today.

After having our daughter, I thought that our family was complete. One boy and one girl. That’s all I’ve ever wanted, but its not like that. My fiance told me that he would like to have another child before our daughter turns two. He wants to try and hope that our next baby will be a boy.

To me, my daughter is all I really want, right now. But lately, I’ve started to change my mind. My daughter is growing up and it’s going by faster than I thought. She’s 6 months old and I already feel like her first birthday will be here before I know it.

Having another baby, will definitely keep me on my toes, but it would make our family whole again. Losing my son, I’m scared to have another baby because the next baby I have, might have the same thing my son did. Even thought it’s rare, I’ve talked to mothers who had it happen to them twice.

My fiance is basically ready to have another baby now, if I asked him. Me, I feel like I should wait until my daughter is a little older. Before you start thinking about having another baby, there are a lot of factors that you have to keep in mind.

  1. Finances: If you barely get by with having one child, a second one, might not be the best idea. You want to make sure you have the money to get the diapers, wipes, or even formula(if you are like me and can barely produce enough breast milk).
  2. Space: Right now, we are in a two bedroom trailer. Let’s face it, trailers are small and there is not a lot of room. Make sure that you have room for another baby because opposite genders can only stay in the same room until they are 4 or 5. If it’s the same gender, then you can just have your kids share a room.
  3. Daycare/Sitter: I’m lucky enough that my fiance and I don’t need to worry about daycare or a sitter, since I am a stay-at-home mom. Even if I was working, my fiance wouldn’t let me put any of our kids in daycare. Usually daycare is really pricey. Since I am a stay-at-home mom, I got offered to take care of another little girl come November. So, if you know someone that you can have watch your children, it would cost less than a daycare would.
  4. Emotionally: If you can handle the other one above, this one, is the most important. You have to be emotionally ready to have another baby. If you aren’t ready, you may just want to just take your time before you start trying. For me, it will always be a difficult time to prepare myself for another child, because of what I went through with my son.

If you ever think or feel that you aren’t ready, don’t feel pressured to do so. It’s not just your significant other’s choice, it’s also your choice. Talk to them and let them know that you aren’t ready for another one.

For me, I’m just dreading the conversation with my fiance, if and when he brings up when we should start trying, because I don’t want him to feel upset or hurt if I say ‘I’m not ready.’ My fiance is very understand and supported, he feels that he doesn’t want our daughter to be a only child. He wants them to have another sibling that they can go to high school together.

Always talk to your significant other, talking may not be the most fun thing to do, but it’s better to open up versus letting it all soak inside.

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: How To Deal With Unwanted Advice

Posted on by Katie Night

Image result for unwanted advice on parenting

As a mom, you will get told by everyone how to care for your child. From your family to doctors to strangers. Even before the baby’s born, you will be told how to even talk care of yourself.

With my first pregnancy, I wasn’t as vocal as I wanted to be. I’ve always been a quiet ‘keep to myself kinda person.’ So, when I became pregnant with my son, I hear about how you shouldn’t do formula or you should use a diaper genie, list goes on.

My daughter, it was completely different. I put my foot down to a lot of stuff. I’m still trying to make sure that peoples advice, doesn’t change the way I want to raise my kids. Plus, we as moms, get judged on everything.

To me, I will take the advice into consideration, but if it’s something that I, as a parent, will not do to parent my child, then I speak up. Sometimes, I can’t speak up to a family member because I’m afraid of hurting their feelings, but I have learned that when it comes to you parenting your kids, the only feeling that matters is your kids and yours.

There are three ways you can handle unwanted advise:

  1. Ignoring  it – This is what I usually do, if a stranger were to approach me with unwanted advise. I usually will nod my head. Sometimes, I do it with family, its easier to do, if you don’t want to make a big deal out or you know it will turn into a giant fight, this would be your best go to.
  2. Speaking up, in a polite way – If you are a person that voices your opinion, but don’t want to offend anyone. This would be more towards close friends, maybe family. Telling them in a polite way, will make it seem not as harsh as bluntly coming out and telling them what is what.
  3. Bluntly telling them straight up – I only go this far, if I’m frustrated. If I have had a bad day and didn’t have any coffee, I snap. I usually will only snap at family, because they have been in my shoes. Plus they understand that they would rather me snap at them versus my kids.

There is one thing that we always need to keep in mind. How we parent our kids, may not be the same as other, but we should respect how others parent. The world we live in, there are too many people judging before they know the full story, but when it comes to advise, we need to handle it as we feel comfortable.

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Should You Smoke Around Your Children?

Posted on by Katie Night

Image result for smoking around kids

Back in the day, we didn’t know how bad smoking cigarettes can be. Now, you don’t see any commercials promoting cigarettes or tobacco. Still to this day, people still smoke cigarettes.

Had I smoked a cigarette before. Yes, but I didn’t smoke enough for me to become addicted to them. My fiance smokes and last year, he almost went an entire year without smoking, but unfortunately, he got back into the nasty habit.

Smoking is a very difficult thing to quit, but one thing that drives me nuts is parents who smoke around babies or children. I believe that a baby or a child shouldn’t be anywhere never or around cigarettes.

Some of you may think that its okay, just because you grew up in a time your parents smoked around you. It’s not. Second hand smoke is even worst then just smoking a cigarette. It’s even worst for babies or children to inhale it.

Even when you are in another room or holding up the cigarette away from the child, they can still inhale the second hand smoke. Especially in a car. Rolling down the windows WILL NOT prevent the smoke from getting to the child.

As a mother, who had a child with a heart condition, it’s even more fatal. I’m one of those moms that will not go into a house or car if it smells like cigarette smoke. I was never around it and I want my kids to not be around it.

I especially don’t want to hear or see my kids pretending or wanting to smoke a cigarette. I will teach my children that cigarettes are bad and that you shouldn’t be like someone just because the smoke cigarettes.

I believe that my children should be able to breathe in fresh clean air versus second hand smoke. I’ve lost family because of cigarettes, I don’t want to risk my children’s life just because someone has to have a habit that they started.