Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: What Some People Don’t Understand About Being A Stay-At-Home Mom

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What do you think of when you hear ‘stay-at-home mom’? Do you think, ‘Wow, they are so lucky, they must get so much time.’ or ‘Their kids must drive them crazy!’ or ‘They probably didn’t want to go back to work.’ There are so many opinions about stay-at-home moms, but they don’t understand what goes through the mind of a stay-at-home mom.

I’m a stay-at-home mom. I made the decision to become one when I realized that I didn’t want to miss out on any of my daughters milestones. I also talked to my fiance to make sure it was something we could afford to do.

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However, I didn’t expect to be a stay at home mom. Way before I even had kids, I did have a plan of what I wanted to do in my future. I wanted to become a teacher. Still to this day, I would love to be a teacher, but sometimes plans change when you have kids.

Let’s get back to me being a stay-at-home mom. The other downfall is that I don’t have a way to get from place to place because I’ve got some compilations with getting my license, so once a week, my mother comes to pick me up and it gives me a chance to get out of the house.

When I get back home, I’m in this state of mind: lonely. I know I’m not alone, but when you are a stay-at-home mom, the only people you talk to is your children and whenever your spouse is home. You are probably saying, ‘Don’t you have other friends or mom friends you can talk to or invite over.’

Yes, I do, but here is the thing about me. I have no problem talk to close family, but when it comes to friends, I feel like this: I’m bothering them. They are probably busy. They don’t want to hear from me. I don’t have a car, they will think I’m using them. They probably don’t like me. 

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Those sentences run through my mind when I think about talking to someone other than my family. I do have a few friends that stay-at-home, but I will always feel like a bother to them. Which I might not be, but I feel like that for everyone, anytime someone does something for me or my family, I feel it was done because I was a bother.

Moving on, a lot of people think their house would be spotless, being able to stay home. I try my best to keep the place in ‘decent shape’, but between ordering stuff online, broken appliances, toys everywhere, and having a bunch of stuff that we have no room for, it’s very hard to keep this place spotless.

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I’m lucky to sweep at least once a week or vacuum. Dishes, the ones that we use the most get rewashed everyday, the other just sit until we need them. I’ve gotten all the dishes done at one point, but they stack up quicker. Laundry has been difficult because of the fact that they are broken.

It’s not just that, I worry about not being able to pay off bills, my own medical bills. I worry about little things, but they turn into giant things because my mind makes them a big thing.

You also have to take in fact that my daughter always wants me, so doing stuff around the house during the day is difficult. ‘You can get them done when she goes to sleep or takes a nap.’ Yeah, I can, during her naps, I try to get as much as I can done, but when she goes to sleep for the night, it’s difficult because I’m exhausted and I usually take that time to relax doing what I want to do. Sometimes, I’m just too tired and just go to bed.

The one thing people always asks me is: Do you love being a stay-at-home mom?

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Yes and no. The no part is that you don’t socialize very much with adults, chores can be a challenge to do, you get depressed very quickly, you mind feels, and you never get a break, sometimes. Why do I love it? I get to see my daughter reach milestones. Watch laugh, cry, walk, find her voice, play with her toys, talk, and most of all, make her known that she is loved.

If you are a stay-at-home mom and can get all the chores done, being able to sit on the couch folding laundry with a cup of coffee, watching your kids favorite T.V. show, good for you! I’m glad you have the motivation to do all that, I wish I had motivation for that.

But, if you are like me, where we barely get stuff done, spend it most with our kids, forgetting to sweep, worrying about what to do with stuff that you can’t decided to throw away or keep. It’s okay!

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It’s okay that our emotions get in the way, we just have to learn to deal with them in the most healthiest way possible. It’s okay if you reach out for help, sometimes you just need an outsiders point of view.

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Posted in Arts and Crafts

*New* Katie’s Craft Studio

Hey Dearies, so for the next two months, starting today, I will be opening my little store. Since the holidays are coming around, I figured I would give this a little try, and if it becomes a big success, I will keep it going! I have also answered a few questions, if you are very interested and want to know more about what is going on.

What will I be offering?

I’ll be offering mostly all items that I have made by hand. Here is a list of the following products I will offering:

  • Towel Toppers
    • 2 Towels for $5.00 (Each one will have a different color on the topper, or you can request them to have the same color)
    • 1 Towel for $3.00 (You will have the opinion of choosing a color that you would like on it.)
  • Towel Holders
    • Small Towel Holder for $1.00 (Choice of your color, button, and metal ring for the hanger)
    • Big Towel Holder for $2.00 (Choice of your color and button)
  • Coasters (Styles vary)
    • Set of 2 for $4.00
    • Set of 4 for $6.00
    • Set of 10 for $12.00 (Also comes with a crocheted coaster holder)
  • Mug Cozies
    • Basic for $2.00
    • Character for $4.00
      • I can take requests for any characters, however, I will have to decline, if I don’t have the correct color yarn.
    • For a set of 4 for $5
  • Ear Warmers (Styles vary)
    • Babies and Toddlers for $3.00 (With a flower for an extra $1.00)
    • Kids and Teens for $5.00
    • Adults for $6.00
  • Hand Warmers (Styles vary)
    • Kids – Teens for $3.00
    • Adults for $5.00
  • Scarves (Styles vary)
    • Kids – Teens for $3.00
    • Adults for $5.00
  • Hats
    • Basic Beanie for Newborns – Children for $3.00
    • Adults (Styles vary) for $5.00
  • Place Mats
    • Sets of 2 for $4.00
    • Set of 4 for $6.00
    • Set of 10 for $12.00
  • Seasonal Items
    • Styles of products may vary.
    • Seasonal items will only last from the beginning and end of the month. After that, I won’t take anymore requests, unless I say otherwise.
  • Special Requests
    • Anything that is italic, is a special request, due to that it may take longer to make.
    • If there is a design or a request that you would like me to try out, please let me know and depending on the project itself and how long it would take me to make it, prices may vary.

Will you still be going live and keep doing Crafty Sassy?

I figured I would answer this question, due to the fact that I haven’t been as active and on it as much. Yes, I will keep doing Crafty Sassy, however, I will try my best to keep posting patterns and showing you what I am working on.

On Tuesdays, I will try my best to go live and show them, but if I’m not able to, I will post on my Facebook Page to let you guys know. I will still try to post on Tuesdays, as well, but I might not have much time to do so, if I don’t have time to do so.

How will this store work?

Well, it will be all online. Through Facebook or Esty, I will be posting the items. If an item is posted on my Facebook page, it means that I only have a few of that idea, most likely already pre-made. If an item is posted on Esty, means I just have to make them or I might of made stock of that item.

Everything will be done through PayPal.

Why is this only lasting for a short time period?

It’s only happening for a short time because I need to see if I can handle the demands and make sure that all the products I make are 100%, to my standards, a great piece of work.

Also keep in mind that I do have a life outside of crocheting and that I want to make sure I can balance that and crocheting, especially during the upcoming holidays.

If this is something I can handle, on my own, then I will keep doing what I am doing and offer more items and deals for you guys. If there is any change, on this new adventure, I will let you know all know, most of my updates will be on my Facebook page. Here is the link, just in case you want to stay updated:
https://www.facebook.com/katiesblog96971617/

What if I have questions?

If you have any questions, feel free to send me an e-mail at katie_farrington@aol.com or message me on my Facebook page. You can also message me on the following of the social media’s:

  • Instagram
  • Twitter
  • Pinterest
Posted in My Secret Love

My Secret Love (Chapter 20)

My Secret Love Book Cover

*Warning: Mature Content! Read at your own risk!*

If you haven’t read Chapter 19, here is the link!
https://katiesblog96971617.com/2018/10/05/my-writing-my-secret-love-chapter-19/

 

~Chapter 20~

I parked on the side of the road, crying. I didn’t know that my life would turn on me like this. My father and brother were dead. I killed my ex-fiance. And I ruined a amazing relationship with Michael.
I was a terrible person. I was too emotional and blamed everything on him. I looked up from the wheel, in my mirror and saw another vehicle parked behind mine. Then I realized that Michael was coming out of the car.
I wiped the tears from my eyes as I rolled down the window.
“Can I get in?” He asked. I nodded and he went around to the car and got in.
“What?” I said.
“Please, just let me talk.” Michael spoke as I shut my mouth for once.
“Listen, I know you are going threw a lot, with your father and brother dying and you killing your fiance, its a lot. I know, but I still love you.” He paused for a second. “If you need to take it out on me, go for it. I can take it, but I can’t take not being with you. You need me and I need you. I have always been there for you. Please lets get another fresh start. We can leave this place and never look back. What do you think, Elizabeth?”
Fresh start didn’t sound that bad. After all, I was a murder. I killed my ex. Leaving this place wouldn’t be too bad.
I looked over at him and took off his sun glasses. I leaned over and kissed him. It felt so good. I felt the same spark I did the very first time he kissed me.
Michael pulled away and gently graced my cheek. “I take that as a yes?”
“Yes.” I then pulled him into a kiss.
______________________________________________________________
~3 weeks later~
Michael and I moved into a little 2 bedroom cottage that was right next to this beautiful lake. Our cottage was basically in the middle of no where.
With everything that we have been through, I was very scared, but Michael has his buddies always on watch, just in case something were happen to me or the baby.
Yes, that’s right, I’m pregnant! I took a test today and it came out positive. I folded up a oneise that I ordered online, waiting for this moment to give to him. I walked into our little kitchen and placed the oneise on the table and the pregnancy test next to it.
I looked out the window and saw Michael, no shirt, cutting firewood. I opened up the screen door and walked over to him.
“Why don’t you come in for something to drink? I’ll get you a beer.” I smiled as he dropped the ax and placed his arm around my neck.
“A little break won’t hurt.” He said as we walked up to the cottage.
I opened the screen door and walked towards the fridge and grabbing a beer for him.
“What is this?” Michael said as I turned around and placed the beer on the table.
“Surprise? I took the test today.” I said.
“We are going have a baby?” he smiled as I nodded. He wrapped his arms around me. He got down on his knees and held my stomach. “No matter what, I will always protect you, my little son, or daughter.”
He came back up to his knees and gazed in my eyes. “I love you so much, Elizabeth.”
“I love you too, Mikey.” I smiled.
“Marry me.” He asked. He got back down on one knee and held out a beautiful ring. “I was going to do this tonight, but I think now would be a better time. Elizabeth, I love you so much. There is nothing I wouldn’t do to protect you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you and our beautiful child to be. Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”
I started to cry and nodded my head. “Yes! I will marry you!” He placed the ring on my finger and kissed me.
After everything that had happen, I couldn’t of been more happier in my life. I am now engaged to a wonderful man and pregnant with our first child.
I just wished my brother was here to see me now. I know he is looking down on me, smiling from up above.
-The End-
Or is it?

Yes, this is the end of the book and I don’t have a sequel in mind. Although, I am working on a sequel for Unclear, but for now, I think everyone is wondering what is the next book I’m going to put out, well, that is a surprise!

I will also be doing a post with all the chapters on it, just so if you are new or can’t find a chapter, they will all be in one place! If any of the chapter links aren’t working, let me know and I’ll fix them as soon as possible!

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: The Secret Behind Shrek Forever After

If you have no idea what ‘Shrek’ is, then I highly recommend you check it out the entire series. Growing up, the Shrek series was something that we watched, almost on a daily, but in the last movie, of the saga, I noticed something.

So, if you haven’t watched all the movies, I’m going to break down the first 3 real quick:

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  1. Shrek: In the first Shrek, we meet Shrek and how he is an ogre who lives alone in his swamp, but that is taken from him when the outlawed fairy tale creatures decide that they are going to stay on Shrek’s land. So, Shrek goes to the person who banned them onto his swamp, when arriving to Lord Farrquad castle, Farrquad sets him on a quest to rescue Princess Fiona, so that Lord Farrquad can marry her and become king. Long story short, Fiona and Shrek start to fall in love and Shrek finds out about her curse and how after sunset, she turns into an ogre.
    1. Shrek fell in love with Fiona, regardless of who the were on the outside. Mortal of this story is that your true love can be in anyone.
  2. Shrek 2: We see Fiona and Shrek go off and enjoy their honeymoon, at the end of the last movie, they got married. When the real Prince Charming comes to save her, he finds out that she has already been saved and that she just got married. Shrek and Fiona get invited to Far Far Away for Fiona’s father to give his blessing on the marriage. Shrek and the King don’t get along very well because Prince Charming was suppose to rescue Fiona. The King follows the orders of the Fairy Godmother and tries to get rid of Shrek, by hiring an hit man, Puss n Boots. Shrek then steals a potion, thinking that Fiona would better off by being human and together, they both transform into a human. Charming tries to ‘pretend’ to be Shrek. At the end, the King saves Shrek’s life and gives his blessing.
    1. Shrek didn’t have a very good relationship with his father-in-law, but because the King and Queen assumed that it would be Prince Charming instead. The real mortal of the story is that Shrek transformed into an human to make Fiona happy, but when he realizes that she loved him for him and that deep down, Fiona embraced being an ogre.
  3. Shrek The Third: In this one, Shrek and Fiona are going all the royal duties because the King has been sick. Shrek realizes that he would rather be back home in his swamp. On the Kings deathbed, he tells Shrek of the last air for the throne, giving Shrek and Fiona another option if they just wanted to live their lives back at the swamp. Shrek, Donkey, and Puss leave Far Far Away to go get Arthur, the next air. Fiona tells him that she is pregnant. Shrek has nightmares about being a father because his father wasn’t really in the picture much. Shrek basically practices on Arthur on how to become a father and saves Arthur’s life when Charming over rules the kingdom. Charming puts on a play where he wants to kill Shrek in front of everyone, but Arthur saves Shrek’s life and takes his role to be King, while Shrek and Fiona go home with 3 new babies.
    1. I think the mortal of the story was more for those who think they are going to be terrible parents when they find out that their spouse is pregnant. Sometimes they think that having kids would ruin their life, but Shrek learned that they make life better.

 

Now, that you kinda have a background on what each movie is about, we are finally, going to talk about the last movie from the Shrek Saga, Shrek Forever After.

As an adult, when you have kids, you tend to watch a lot of movies that you used to watch when you were a kid. The Shrek Series was something we watched all the time. My daughter loves anything animated and she doesn’t mind to watch them with me.

Well, when we finally got to the last current Shrek movie, I noticed something that I wouldn’t have noticed when I was a kid. Shrek embraces the parenting life, but when he realizes that he can’t always have some peace and quiet, and that things would go back to the way they were.

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Shrek feels that he his living in a boring life that seems it would never end, but he has enough, at his kids birthday party. When him and Fiona go outside to talk about, he tells Fiona how he wished he could have his swamp life back. Rumpelstiltskin overhears and offers Shrek a “Ogre For A Day”, meaning Shrek would be able to live a day as an ogre, but he would have to give a day to get a day.

Shrek tells Rumple that he can have any day from his childhood, Rumple takes the day he was born as payment. Shrek enjoys his time as an ogre, but he finds a poster with the Fiona’s face wanted, he looks to find her, but gets captures by Rumple and finds out that after his day is up, he’ll be gone, unless he has true loves first kiss.

Shrek finds Fiona and finds out that she recused herself from the tower. Shrek tries everything to have Fiona fall in love with him, all over again. Before his day is up, Fiona kisses him, and realized that he was her true love because he broke her curse.

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When Shrek gets back, he realizes how happy he was with his little family and that there was nothing he wouldn’t change about it.

You see, when you have kids, you thing that its going to be so easy and that you will still be able to do whatever you want, but once they are here, you might feel overwhelmed or wished you would have waited to have them.

I felt that way, but when I let my daughter spend the night with her grandmother, I missed her like crazy, even if I spent the time alone with my fiance, we both missed her like crazy.

Sometimes, having kids brings people closer together, other times, they can bring people to stay away or not want to be apart of it.

Having kids doesn’t ruin your life, it does change it. Some people, its the end of the world, but for me, they are a product of my fiance and I’s love for each other that we get to show the world.

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There is nothing in this world I would rather have than my wonderfully unperfect, little family. Just like Shrek found out, even though he found out the hard way, but he found that his little family was worth fighting for.

Posted in Gaming, Sims

The Sims Saga: Which Do I Prefer?

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When you here the game Sims, what comes to mind? I think about The Sims games, creating a character and controlling their life. A lot of people forget that the Sims first originated from SimCity, where you created a city and made sure that it was successful.

I’m not going to talk about SimCity, though. This is mainly about The Sims. I’ll be honest, I’ve never actually played the Sims, but for it’s time, it was amazing. To be able to control their life, made them do whatever our hearts wanted them to do.

It was like GTA, but without the violence and free will to move your Sim manual. You could even create your dream house, have a family, or get the job of your dreams. When I got hooked, it wasn’t with the first The Sims, it was The Sims 2.

The Sims 2

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The first time I saw The Sims 2, was when I was on YouTube. I had came across it and it was recommend to me. A lot of people actually used The Sims 2 game, to create movies or series, or what got me hooked on, was the teen pregnancy series.

You must think that I’m weird to like to watch them, but seriously, look up the series ‘My Life’. The creator of that series, she really got me to thinking that I wanted to do something creative like that. If you actually watch her series, from her very first episode, to her newer ones, she has come a long way.

The Sims 2 had more to offer, as well. There were more add-on’s to the game, such as the different seasons, hobbies, and even jobs. It made the game play more like real life.

I finally had a chance to buy it for myself, and I am currently, trying to learn how to film and make a good series, that I will post on my YouTube channel.

Even if you aren’t trying to make a series, its a great way to past the time on a rainy day. Hell, I even when forward and created my fiance, son, daughter, and myself into the game. I highly recommend getting this game! It’s the best of both worlds.

Now, let’s talk about its, aftermath…The Sims 3.

The Sims 3

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I’m going to try my best not to bash this game. It wasn’t a bad sequel to The Sims 3. They added a lot of new things, such as making it easier to custom clothes and items, you didn’t have to wait for loading times to get from one place to another, and you could follow your Sim to work, the hospital, etc.

There was one BIG issue with this game. It is SO buggy. If you didn’t have the best computer in the world, you were bugging because your game would lag. Brand new or with mods, it would lag, or the loading time would take forever. Especially if you are in create-a-sim.

To me, the creators wanted to get this game out, as soon as possible because of the high demand that The Sims 2 was, so they did rush it, a little, by adding some stuff that the other games never had.

The one thing that I LOVED about it, was that you could follow your Sim anywhere without having to deal with those loading screens and the way you could custom, almost everything.

The Sims 3 was the first Sims game that I have ever own and I had the season, pets, and supernatural packs that made the game play so much fun! I wonder, now that I have a better computer, if it would run better?

Last, but not least, let’s get to the newer Sims game that came out in the last few years, The Sims 4.

The Sims 4

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Again, this is another game I haven’t touched, yet, and I have looked into seeing if it is really worth getting, but to me, the creators went back a couple steps. You think with a newer game, it would be better and would fix the problems from the last game, well, they did, but not very well.

I have heard that the game play is okay, graphics are okay, etc. It is missing A LOT from The Sims 3 game. You have loading screens for EVERYWHERE you go, even if you are going to the next door neighbor.

It’s not as buggy or laggy, as The Sims 3 was, but they had to get rid of a lot of stuff, in order to fix it, which a lot of people were disappointed in. The Sims 4, seems to me, boring. Just because they didn’t add anything new that would make us get excited.

Although, they did add a pack that basically makes you do your Sims job. Which was something that we could do in the other games, but I would rather just fast-forward my Sim’s job, then doing it, I’m already controlling pretty much them, why should I have to do their work for them?

Which is worth playing?

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The Sims 2, hands down. I would recommend it to everyone. It plays great on Windows 10, there is a few glitches, but it’s still playable. I like how the Sims are in this game and how you can do so much.

Plus, it still has that SimCity feeling to it, so that I could make my own town, I could. I am hoping to get a few more packs, just to play around with it some more. I do have the the Late Night and University packs, so I am hoping to either get Pets or Seasons next.

If you are a Sims fan, which game do you prefer? Leave a comment down below! There has also been a rumor that they are working on The Sims 5, do you thinks they should have another Sims? If so, what do you think they need to improve or leave alone?

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Is It Possible To Work From Home As A Stay-At-Home Parent?

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Yes, I know it’s been a while since I have done a ‘Mom Talk’, but I wanted to go into detail to see if it is really possible to work from home as a stay-at-home parent. Whether you are trying to make extra cash for spending or looking to create a permit career.

Every since I had my kids, I’ve always wanted to be a stay-at-home mother and also have a career from home as well. There is a lot of scams, but their are a few that are very legit and could even give you benefits for you and your family.

I search everyday for a work at home career or even just a part-time job, but there is always an issue. Either I don’t have the experience, I don’t have a quiet place, or don’t have the sale mind to bug people to buy the products I’m pushing to sell.

So, I looked into doing survey’s for cash. However, there is always a catch. You either can’t cash out until you make, at least, $20-$30 bucks, which takes forever to do. Plus the survey’s were either the same thing, that I would spend 30 minutes to an hour to complete and only got less than .25 cents, or I wouldn’t qualify for most of the survey’s.

Let me tell you something, it IS possible to work from home. You just have to find it at the right opportunity.

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I’ve heard so many stories of people that are making enough money for even their spouses don’t have to work, plus still having enough money to buy their dream home, or have that car they always wanted, or even have a big family, like they have always dreamed of having.

I’ve always thought that if the time was right, the opportunity will come to me, I just can’t stop searching. Although, I’ve been trying to get back into the Customer Service pool, but the two things that stop me are: I have a loud, barking at whatever moves or makes a loud sound, dog and not feeling confident enough to do both working and taking care of my daughter.

That’s why I started this blog. I wanted to have a job where I could work whenever, but still have time for my kids. I still haven’t found a way to actually make money off of it, yet, but it’s possible. I just can’t give up.

Maybe one day, I’ll be able to look back on this all and enjoy my life as a stay-at-home mom and a working mom. Like I have always told myself, if it’s meant to be, then its meant to be. If it isn’t, just keep on swimming and don’t give up.

Posted in Unclear

Unclear – It’s a…. WHAT?? (Chapter 11)

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Good Morning! We are finally in the month of July! I feel like this year has gone by so fast, so far. Anyway, here is another chapter of my book. In this chapter, we find out the sex of the baby! Enjoy and prepared to be shocked!

If you haven’t read Chapter 10, here is the link!
https://katiesblog96971617.com/2018/06/29/my-writing-unclear-5-months-chapter-10/

~It’s a ….. WHAT?~

Tanner’s P.O.V. 
Jade and I were waiting at the doctor’s office. Today, we are going to find out the sex of the baby. I have a feeling that it’s gonna be a girl. A boy would be nice too, but I have a feeling it’s going to be a girl.
Jade was looking through some magazines. As I looked over at her, she looked so beautiful. It’s been starting to get hard with her bump in the way, but I love it. She then looked up at me and smiled. I smiled back.
“Jade Roy?” One of the nurses called her name and we got up and followed her to one of the ultrasound rooms. Jade grabbed my hand as we walked into the room. “The doctor will be right in.” Then the nurse left. It was silence for a little bit until Jade spoke up.
“I’m nervous.” She said. “And excited. I just hope that nothing is wrong with the baby.” I hugged her tightly, but not too tightly. I didn’t want to put too much pressure on the baby.
“I am too.” I answered as I looked down at her. “Everything with be fine, I promise.” She then kissed me on the cheek and sat down on the table.
“Hello, Jade. How are we feeling today?” As the doctor walked in and looked up at Jade and I. “You must be the father.” As we shook hands. Then he went right back to Jade. “Are you ready to know what your baby is?”
“Yes, I’m nervous and excited.” Jade answered as she laid down on the table and pulled up her shirt, showing her belly.
“Don’t be nervous, I’m sure that everything will be just fine.” He smiled at her, then put some gel stuff on her belly. “And do you want to know what the sex of your baby is? Or do you want it to be a surprise?”
“Yes. Sooner I know, the sooner I can shop for him or her.” Jade said and the doctor smiled. Then there it was. Our baby. Once I heard the heartbeat, I kissed the top of Jade’s forehead. She was smiling, almost about to cry.
“There’s your baby. That’s the head. A hand. Looks like she’s waving to you too.” The doctor said as I smiled.
“It’s a girl?” I asked. I had the biggest smiled on my face.
“Yes, it is.” The doctor replied. Then his expression changed. “Wait a minute. There’s another heartbeat.” My eyes widen and I looked down at Jade, she was surprised.
“You mean there’s another baby?” She asked.
“Yes, you’re having twins.” The doctor then showed us the other baby. “He looks like he was hiding. I’m surprised I didn’t see him the first time I gave you an ultrasound.”
“A girl and a boy?” Jade asked. “But that’s impossible. No one on my side of the family has ever had twins.”
“Well, you see, having twins is rare, but not impossible. It doesn’t matter if your family has had twins, you could’ve had two eggs that were fertilized. I understand that this is shocking, but look at the bright side. You both have two perfectly healthy babies.” He explained, then he got up and walked over to the door. “I’m be right back. I’m going to get you some copies of your babies.” Then he exited.
“Twins, wow.” I said. Jade looked over to me. She was already shocked that I got her pregnant, but now we have, not just one, but two babies! I don’t know about her, but I’m so happy! “Hey, I know that this was a surprise, but think of it this way, at least you don’t have to get pregnant a second time.” She started to laugh.
“I guess you’re right. It’s not like these babies won’t be loved any less. I’m just glad you talked me into agreeing to get a 3 bedroom house.” She smiled. I laughed. I then went over to her and pressed my lips against hers.
“I won’t ever leave you. I promise that I’ll be here for you and our children until the very end.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lucas’s P.O.V.
Sitting in this shithole, while that crazy freak tries to put a love spell on me, or whatever, is pissing me off. I need to find this guy who got my girl pregnant. He’s a dead man when I get out of here. When I get out of here.
I got to think of a plan to get me the hell out of here. I need to see her. The only thing that I did have, that could get me out, was my pocket knife, my father gave me when I turned 12. That bitch fucking took it from me. Speak of the devil here she is.
“Well, well, you do look rather cozy in there.” She spoke. I ignored her. There’s no way in hell that I’m going to fuck her, just so she can live.
“When the hell are you going to let me out? And give me back my fucking knife! My father gave that to me!” I yelled.
“Soon, my love.” She then pulled her phone out of her pocket and answered it. “Hey Tanner. So how did it go?”
“WHAT? TWINS? Are you serious?” She was surprised. Wait, she did mention that Jade was going to find out the sex of the baby today. Oh shit, if she has twins, this will be perfect. If I escape, I was take her with me to my family’s old farm house. And we’ll raise those two babies together. This is perfect.
“A girl and a boy? Congratulations big bro! Listen, I’m kinda studying for a big test for college. I’ll talk to you later, okay? I love you, bye.” And she hung up the phone. “How is that possible? I thought that there was only one girl?” She then looked up at me.
“Well, it sounds to me, that my girl has been very naughty.” I said. “Sounds, like I could help you, but only if you let me out of here.”
“Tomorrow. I’ll let you out tomorrow, but you must agree that you will not harm my brother or those babies. They are not yours and never will be yours.” She gave me an evil look. “I mean it. They are the only family that I’ve got, since my parents walked out on me.”

Another chapter will be up on Friday! If you are too impatient and don’t want to wait for another chapter, you can always check out my story on Wattpad, just search my name katieasehl and you will find Unclear and other stories as well. We are about halfway done with Unclear. I haven’t written a squeal, its been in my thoughts, but I will ask for you guys advice on if I should make another one or not. Of course, let’s finish the book first, before you advised me to make another one or not. 

Chapter 12: He’s Coming For Me
https://katiesblog96971617.com/2018/07/06/my-writing-unclear-hes-coming-for-me-chapter-12/

 

Posted in Unclear

Unclear – 5 Months (Chapter 10)

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Happy Friday! Here is a another *sigh* short chapter. I’m sorry that they have been short lately. Here it is though! Enjoy!

If you haven’t read Chapter 9, here is the link!
https://katiesblog96971617.com/2018/06/25/my-writing-unclear-the-father-is-chapter-9/

~5 Months~

Jade’s P.O.V.
I’ve started to get a baby bump. Tanner thinks that it’s cute, but I think that once I get even more bigger, things are going to be difficult for me. I can no longer wear jeans and the only thing that actually fits is sweat pants or leggings.
Tanner and I have been looking for a place of our own. We haven’t told anyone, yet. I know his sister might be a little upset, after what Tanner told be about their parents and how they just left. Lately, he says that she’s been busy with painting, I guess. As long as she’s busy, she won’t be able to question us.
Today was a big day, though. We had just found a place and we also have a doctor’s appointment to find out what the sex of the baby is. I’m really excited! I hoping for a girl and Tanner is too. He told be he always wanted a little girl to call his own. He also said that a boy would be nice too.
As I finished packing the last box, Tanner took it and packed it in the back of the trunk. Savannah was holding Ricky when I came back in.
“I’m really going to miss you.” She said. Tears falling down from her eyes. We were basically like sisters, after my father and sister died. “You’ll always have a place here and if you ever need me, call me. Ok?” I hugged her and Ricky. Gave Ricky a little kiss on the check.
“I will too.” I said as I let go of her. I then looked at Ricky. “You be a good boy for your mama, okay? Maybe if you are good, Auntie might come over on Christmas Day.”
Ricky had the biggest smile and then I grabbed him from Savannah and hugged him. “Auntie, can you bring him too?” As he pointed up to Tanner in the doorway. Ever since Tanner has been coming around, Ricky really likes him. They would do all kind of stuff together. It was really cute and it made me feel like he was the one.
“Only if you are a good boy.” I said and he smiled and shook his head yes. “I love you, buddy.” He then hugged me back. Then he ran over to Tanner and hugged him too.
Once everyone got their hugs and kisses, Tanner and I got into the truck and left to our new place.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Next chapter will be out on Monday! If you are too impatient to wait, Unclear is avaible on Wattpad. Just look up my username katieasehl. That is where you will find other stories I have written. 

Chapter 11: Its A… What!?
https://katiesblog96971617.com/2018/07/02/my-writing-unclear-its-a-what-chapter-11/

 

Posted in Mom Talk

My Little Heart Warrior

**WARNING**

*This is a very true story. Tissues might be needed. It was difficult to write this, but it is something that helps me express what had happen with my son and his short journey. Please, just take caution when reading.*

There are a lot of ‘Mom Blogs’ out in the web. Some talk about how to take care of a child or their experiences with their child’s first achievements in life. But I haven’t seen very many that talk about the experience of having a child with a heart disease. Let’s just say that it’s very much an emotional rollar coaster.

Well, that’s what it was for me. My son was diagnosed with HLHS (Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome) when I was 22 weeks pregnant with him. Basically, HLHS is when the left side of their heart is either underdeveloped or never formed. Once he was born, he would have to go into surgery within the first week of life.

Altogether, he would have to go through 3 major surgeries with in the first 3 years of his life. Now, I was 18 when I was pregnant with my son, Liam. Image being me at 18, and being told that there was a very big change that he wouldn’t make it. Liam’s everyday life would be either life or death.

The happy family that my fiance and I imaged had changed. We didn’t know if he would make it to his first birthday. We had so many unanswered questions. Would he be able to play sports when he gets older? Would he need a heart transplant in the future if his starts to fail? Or the big question that we wanted to know: Would he ever make it home from the hospital?

Because of how serious his disease was, we weren’t able to have him, in our state. We were recommended to go down to Boston Children’s Hospital. We were told that they deal with congenital heart defects everyday. It made me and our family feel a lot better about having Liam there.

Once Liam was born, he was the most beautiful baby boy that I ever laid eyes on. You couldn’t see that there was anything wrong with him, but on the inside, there was a struggling heart that we would of never noticed.

As soon as I hear him cry, I started to cry myself. They cleaned him up and gave him medicine, to keep the values from closing. We could only hold him for a minute before they took him up to where he needed to be.

I finally got to hold him longer, later that day. I wanted to keep holding him because I knew that once he had his surgery, it would be a very long time until we were able to hold him again. They planned for his first surgery to be on June 27th, 2016, 3 days after his birth.

My fiance and I spent the entire day with him, holding him, getting as much closeness as we could. Until, the morning of his surgery came. We walked down with him, until we got to the point we weren’t able to go past. We both kissed his and held his little fingers. Praying that god would watch over our little boy.

During that day, we got out of the hospital, trying to get our minds off of the fact that they were doing surgery on our son. I wanted to wait all day, but my fiance and I agreed it would be best to go out and get some fresh air. We got frequent updates, while Liam was in surgery. It made me feel better that someone cared enough to let us know that everything was going smoothly and that they would keep us posted until he was our of surgery.

Once they called to let us know that he was doing great, they told us that he was all set to see visitors. I was nervous and scared to see how he looked. Even when we got closer to his room, tears already started to pour down my face.

As a parent, you never want your children to go through surgery or be hooked up to anything. Seeing Liam for the first time out of surgery, was life changing. His chest wasn’t closed, they keep the chest open for a few days to make sure everything is working out fine before they close it. Every time I would go to see him, I asked that they covered his heart, just when I was in there. I don’t know why, but I felt uncomfortable.

As weeks went passed, they finally closed his chest and slowly started to take him off some medication and his breathing tube. We were finally able to hold our son again, after about 4 weeks from his surgery.

We thought that things were going great, he was able to leave the NICU and move over to what they called was ‘The Floor’, meaning that Liam still needed nurses, but not 24/7, like he did in the NICU. The doctors said that once he was able to start eating from a bottle or breast and a few other things, he would be able to go home.

Day 2, of being on ‘The Floor’, was the most horrible day of my life. The nurse had come in to give Liam his medicine and he was being fussy, so she suggested that I pick him up and rock him. All of a sudden, my worst nightmare had happen. He stopped breathing in my arms.

The nurse took him and pressed the code blue button, 7-8 other hospital staff rushed in to help, they took him back over the NICU. I followed them, shocked and frighted. My fiance rushed over to the hospital, they wouldn’t allow both parents to stay in the room together, so he had to stay at a place that was a mile away from the hospital.

My hands wouldn’t stop shaking. I didn’t know what to do, they had a nurse stay with me until my fiance got there. All I could say was, ‘he stopped breathing in my arms.’

They did CPR on him for 45 minutes until they were able to get on bypass. They didn’t know what happened. They figured it was a blood clot that blocked blood from reaching his heart. The told us that they were going to try and take him off bypass slowly and hope for the best, but if he was still on it after a week, there was a good chance that Liam wouldn’t make it.

During the time he was on bypass, Liam had brain damage, from getting CPR for too long, kidneys and liver were starting to fail. We ended up sitting down with a few doctors and his surgeon. We also got our immediate family to come up, for the support. They said that once we can get him off bypass, that they would be able to determined if he would still have brain activity, but by the looks of what they were trying to read, he had little to none brain activity.

My fiance and I looked at each other and prayed that god wouldn’t take Liam from us. He did. On July 23rd, 2016 at 4 in the morning, our son had passed away. When they took him off bypass, he was doing fine, but slowly started to decline. My fiance, his mother, my mother and I, were with him when he passed. I held him until his heart stopped beating.

Everyone I knew, their baby got to come home in their car seat,  but Liam never even left the hospital. He didn’t come home in a car seat. He came home in a box. Every mother’s worst night mare.

It was really hard to write this, but I think it’s time that everyone knows that not every baby born in this world is perfectly normal. I rather tell people my experience than let every mother or soon-to-be mother think that everyone’s child is born healthy.

Because my son wasn’t born healthy. His heart disease was something that not even doctors know how it was caused. I’ve googled it thousands of times, no one know’s why HLHS happens or any congenital birth defect.

This year will be two years that Liam has been gone. I’ll never get to see him on his first birthday or see him walk or talk for the first time. He was two days shy of being a month old.

But there is one thing that I want to let everyone know. Whether your child was on this world for a day, month, or years, you can’t just get over it. People think that because Liam wasn’t even a month old, that I can just get over it.

To this day, I still cry about him, not as much as I first did, but I do still cry about him. I always will. He is my little Simba and I miss and love him so much.

On a happier note, Liam gave us a surprise from up above. We were blessed with our daughter, Isabella on October 25th 2017, our rainbow baby. I believe that he knew we were ready to be parents, as cheesy as it may sound, and gave us our healthy daughter.

Every year on his birthday, we release balloons, in honor of him. In honor of our heart warrior, our little Simba. Now, our Simba is looking down and watching over his little sister from up above.

Liam Michael (June 25th, 2016 – July 23rd, 2016)

Liam Michael
Our little heart warrior

 

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Why I Don’t Co-Sleep

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I know reading the title already makes you want to voice your opinion about the topic. Some parents prefer co-sleeping, other, well, would rather not risk losing their bed. I, for one, do not co-sleep, here is why.

As a mom, giving into have your child sleep in bed for a night is one thing, is another thing when its every night. I don’t co-sleep with my daughter. My fiance and I both agreed that we would not allow our child to sleep in our bed unless they were sick or had a nightmare.

Since day one, my daughter has not slept in our bed with us and won’t start now. Having kids sleeping in our bed makes it difficult to spend time with our spouses. If its not a problem with you, great! For me its a different situation.

My fiance works second shift and we don’t get to see him very often. Him coming home to a kid-free bed, makes it easier for him to go to sleep. Me as well. I also have a fear that if my kids ever slept in our bed, one of us would roll over on them, which we both move around in our sleep a lot!

I want my kids to know from day one that they have a bed and that mommy and daddy’s bed isn’t where you go to sleep. They have their own bed for a reason. Plus, at ever doctors appointment, the doctor will remind me all the time that co-sleeping is a no, even though I have told him multiple times that I won’t and will not co-sleep.

They aren’t just saying it because that’s how they feel, they have to tell you because of the fact that so many babies die from being suffocated because of co-sleeping.

Now, if you are parents that do the whole co-sleeping, great! If it works for you, do it. I’m just voicing my opinion that I won’t ever really co-sleep. So, please don’t take it to heart that I’m telling you or trying to convince you otherwise.

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Dealing With Being Frustrated

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As all parents know, we are bound to get frustrated with our kids, lifestyle, work, etc. How to deal with it, can be very difficult. Especially, when you are a stay-at-home mom. It’s even worse when you suffer from depression.

I get frustrated. I can admit that. A lot of people can’t.

I get frustrated over little things, that I can do nothing about. I get frustrated over the bigger things that I can’t fix. Sometimes, there is nothing you can do, until the time is right to fix something. Or in my case, money always frustrates me.

Sometimes I get very frustrated with my daughter. I get frustrated when she cries and there is nothing I can do to help her. Do I take it out on her? No. I put her in her crib, play pen, or anywhere where I know she won’t hurt herself. I then take a deep breathe, count to ten and then go back to my daughter and try to take care of her the best I can.

Another reason why I get very frustrated is that I haven’t felt comfortable to leave my daughter with anyone, yet. I bet you are all thinking or saying that I need a break. I do, but with my past history, it’s very hard to do.

Losing my son, is making it difficult to leave her with anyone. I feel that if I do, I am going to freak out, if she were to spend the night somewhere, or I would get that call that something is wrong. The only people that really understand what I am going through, are mother who have lost a baby.

My daughter is 7 months old and I am starting to realize that she just wants me, which frustrates me because I want to get stuff done in the house. I know it’s my fault, but it’s hard to let go. It’s like when your child goes in for their first day of preschool, its hard to watch them go.

Anyway, being frustrated doesn’t mean you are a bad parent, it means you need to take a step back and try different ways to relax your frustration. I’ve counted to 10, that has helped. Closing your eyes, working out, doing a hobby, or if you are in a pickle, closing your eyes and relaxing them to a second.

Meditation is what I’m going to try and get into because of the fact that I still don’t feel 100% comfortable to leave my daughter with anyone, yet.

If you are like me and can’t leave your child, for whatever reason, start with an hour. Leave your child with your spouse and see how you do. Try it out with different family family members and then slowly leave them for more that an hour or two.

When you know that baby is comfortable and you finally feel comfortable, then leave them with family for a night. You just have to get to, not only your comfort zone, but your child’s as well.

Another way to deal with frustration, is to talk to someone, someone you know that wouldn’t mind listening to whatever is frustrating you. Airing it out is a lot better than keeping it in. I know how hard it is to talk to someone, but you don’t want it to keep it all in.

Before it’s too late and then you end up screaming at someone.

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Dealing With Depression As A Mom

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A lot of people think that having a baby will bring you joy and happiness for your family. Which is does, but a lot of people don’t understand that there is a lot going on then just taking care of a baby.

I have been dealing with depression since I was 13. It’s been a long rocky-road for me. Sometimes, I just wish that I could just be happy, but having depression, makes you want to do nothing. Be nothing. You are always sad inside and no one will really know unless you talk to them about it.

When you have a baby, after the baby is born, some mom struggle with, what it is called, ‘baby blues’. It usually happens to a lot of moms within the first month of their baby being born. That’s why a lot of OBGYN’s ask you about ‘baby blues’, at your 6 week post-postpartum check up. They want to make sure that you and the baby are in good hands.

As a mom who has already lost a child and just had another one, it’s really difficult for me to watch my daughter grow because my son died when he was only a month old. It’s started to hit me a few days ago, that’s why there hasn’t been a lot of blogging going on.

Not just with the depression, stress and other issues are also on my mind. It makes it worse, especially when you have a little one that needs you every waking minute. There are days that I don’t want to get up, but my daughter gives me the kick that I need to get up and go on with my life.

It makes me sad that I can’t see my son reach the milestones that my daughter is, but she gives me a sense of hope. Just because I lost my son, I can’t get up on the fact that he’s gone. I always know that he will always watch over my daughter and any future children that I may have.

Before you say that a newly mother can’t be depressed, think about this. Have you ever had a child? Have you ever thought of the crying to never end? Have you ever go nuts, in your mind, because your baby is crying and you don’t know why?

I give praises to newly mothers, especially ones that have babies or children with birth defects. I also want to praise all the mothers that try their best, when they think their best isn’t good enough.

You moms are doing amazing!

It’s good to hear a good thing or too. To me, it makes me feel inspired and more confident to shoot for the stars.

But the one thing that I always do, when I’m feeling depressed or down, I talk to someone. Whether it is a friend, family member, or my fiance. I talk to someone. I rather people know what’s going on, versus keeping it all locked inside. As much as I sometimes would rather not talk to anyone, I know that I should.

If you are a mom, who’s struggling with depression or ‘baby blues’, talk to someone or talk to your doctor, they can give you some medication that will make it easier for you to handle. As much as some people don’t like taking medications, I am one of those people, it does work.

I am always an open ear. Seriously, if you need someone to talk to, go to my Contact page and send me a message. It’s better to open up to someone, rather than no one.

To all those moms, you keep doing what you are doing, better days are sure to come.

*If you really need help and need to talk to someone or a medical professionally, click on the link below. It gives a list of hotlines and explains depression in depth. The hotline is there and is completely anonymous.

https://www.mentalhelp.net/articles/depression-hotline/

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Being or Becoming Engaged

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Being or become engaged to your significant other is a huge step in any relationship. It’s a promise that you are going to one day,  going to marry the person that you plan on spending the rest of your life with.

I am currently engaged. My fiance proposed to me last year on Christmas Day. We have been together for almost 4 years. We have been through a lot during those years. Losing our son bought us closer than ever before. I’ve never been more happier in my life.

Anyway, the reason why I wanted to bring up the topic of engagement, was that I wanted to talk to you about was how long should you be engaged for.

As soon as we got engaged, I started thinking of a date, which we planned on getting married in 2020. Ever since then, I have been thinking of colors, themes, what my dress will be, who will be my bride maids, etc. I’ve always wanted to get married to the love of my life, so when he finally popped the question, I have been so excited to plan our wedding.

When some people get engaged, they might wait a year or two, maybe to save up for the wedding or waiting until they are able to take the time off, anything, but if you have been engaged for more than 5 years, people can start to question why.

I completely understand if you are trying to save up money on a wedding, don’t get me wrong, but weddings are very expensive, but when people started to ask why, I think of many this person isn’t ready to make that commitment or they don’t want to make the plans of a wedding.

There could be so many reasons why. Some people get engaged or plan on getting married for the kids, which you shouldn’t do, you should marry because you love the person you are with.

I grew up in a home with my mother was always unhappy because she was married to my father. It took her 11 years to finally stand up and want to find happiness. My parents got divorced and my mother has been so much more joyful, that was almost 7 years ago. My mother felt that she had to stay because of the fact that she wanted to keep our family together.

She didn’t want us kids to grow up in a broken home, but she knew that she didn’t want us to grow up with parents who were happy, too. So she made a change. My mother married my father because, yes she was in love with him, but they also had me too. She married and stayed with my father because of us kids.

If you aren’t ready to take that next step to get married, then you should talk to your love one and talk about why you don’t want to get married. For me, I only want to get married once and I think a lot of people only want to get married once.

A lot of people are pressured into married their significant other because of family or friends. You shouldn’t marry anyone you know that you don’t want to spend the rest of your life with. It should be because you are madly in love with your significant other, you love all their flaws and looks, but most of all, you see a future with them.

 

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Teething

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Usually, I have been able to post a blog a day, but at the moment, my 6 month old is going through the favorite and fun stages of teething. So, I figured I talk about something that every mom has to go through with their kids.

Teething, is very frustrating for not just baby, but for mommy too. About a week ago, my daughter, she was on her normal schedule and was fine, chewing and putting everything in her mouth like a baby will do, but this week. She has been teething bad!

Because of the teething, it is throwing her way off schedule. She has been eating less and has been taking longer naps. I am one of those moms that has to have a schedule planned out, I have an app on my phone that helps me track her feeding, diapers, and sleep patterns.

It makes me nervous because she has had weight problems in the past, but the doctor says that it is totally normal for her to not eat as much because of teething. Since, her gums and jaw hurt a lot, its difficult for her to want to eat. Since I’m new to this stage, I freaked out.

And of course, I know what you are thinking. You asked Google, didn’t you? Yep. I did and it turns out other moms had the same issue when it come to teething. I was really relieved. Just reading about another mom struggle or freak out about a new stage and got help from other moms, it really helped me out.

But, this is only the beginning of teething. Here we go, just about two more years of this, until she’s got all of her teeth. So not ready for this, but at least I know that I am not the only one struggling on it.

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Struggles With Weight Loss

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After you have a child, you still have the extra ‘baby fat’, as people would like to call it. But, for me, it’s completely different. I have struggled with weight loss for a very long time.

I’ve been considered ‘overweight’ ever since I was in middle school. I always got picked on and judged on how I looked that I never had any self esteem to get me motivated enough to really change.

I’ve been brought down by doctors, friends, and even some family, because of my weight. I’ve never really been motivate to find some exercise or a better diet that I feel comfortable changing or trying to do. I was one of those girls that would rather play video games than go outside.

High school, I grew to except it, but I wasn’t truly happy. I didn’t want to be thin like a toothpick. I wanted to lose the belly fat. The muffin top that made me feel like nothing would ever fit me because of it. I would change my clothes more than I could remember because I felt like I didn’t look good in them.

Until, I met my fiance. He made me fell like no matter what size I was, I was still beautiful. He helped me see past the muffin top. After having our daughter, I still have the muffin top. I’m a stay-at-home mom, it’s been difficult to do anything because I’m usually so tired in the morning and in the afternoon.

So I looked up what I could do to help me get rid of this muffin top, and keep it off, for good.

I looked up different exercises and challenges that I could try and I spotted the 30-Day Squat Challenge. I started it last Sunday, but I already notice a difference. My pants, that didn’t fit me, are slowly starting to fit me. I’m already starting to look a little smaller than I did.

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This is the Squat Challenge that I am doing. Just in case anyone is ready to make a change, just like I am.

I’m become proud of myself and excited that I’m finally doing, what took me years, to do. I want to feel what it’s like to be able to pick out clothes that actually fit, for once. I want people to notice me and not just my body size. I want to be able to love me for me.

I just started week 2 and I feel excited to do my squats every morning. I want to see if I can really finish this. I’m ready to make a change, a healthier change for not just my family, but for me.

 

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: When Do You Really Feel Ready For Another Child?

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I will always think of myself as a mom of two. Even thought, my son isn’t on this world, I always consider him, in anything. I hate having to explain to people why he isn’t here with us today.

After having our daughter, I thought that our family was complete. One boy and one girl. That’s all I’ve ever wanted, but its not like that. My fiance told me that he would like to have another child before our daughter turns two. He wants to try and hope that our next baby will be a boy.

To me, my daughter is all I really want, right now. But lately, I’ve started to change my mind. My daughter is growing up and it’s going by faster than I thought. She’s 6 months old and I already feel like her first birthday will be here before I know it.

Having another baby, will definitely keep me on my toes, but it would make our family whole again. Losing my son, I’m scared to have another baby because the next baby I have, might have the same thing my son did. Even thought it’s rare, I’ve talked to mothers who had it happen to them twice.

My fiance is basically ready to have another baby now, if I asked him. Me, I feel like I should wait until my daughter is a little older. Before you start thinking about having another baby, there are a lot of factors that you have to keep in mind.

  1. Finances: If you barely get by with having one child, a second one, might not be the best idea. You want to make sure you have the money to get the diapers, wipes, or even formula(if you are like me and can barely produce enough breast milk).
  2. Space: Right now, we are in a two bedroom trailer. Let’s face it, trailers are small and there is not a lot of room. Make sure that you have room for another baby because opposite genders can only stay in the same room until they are 4 or 5. If it’s the same gender, then you can just have your kids share a room.
  3. Daycare/Sitter: I’m lucky enough that my fiance and I don’t need to worry about daycare or a sitter, since I am a stay-at-home mom. Even if I was working, my fiance wouldn’t let me put any of our kids in daycare. Usually daycare is really pricey. Since I am a stay-at-home mom, I got offered to take care of another little girl come November. So, if you know someone that you can have watch your children, it would cost less than a daycare would.
  4. Emotionally: If you can handle the other one above, this one, is the most important. You have to be emotionally ready to have another baby. If you aren’t ready, you may just want to just take your time before you start trying. For me, it will always be a difficult time to prepare myself for another child, because of what I went through with my son.

If you ever think or feel that you aren’t ready, don’t feel pressured to do so. It’s not just your significant other’s choice, it’s also your choice. Talk to them and let them know that you aren’t ready for another one.

For me, I’m just dreading the conversation with my fiance, if and when he brings up when we should start trying, because I don’t want him to feel upset or hurt if I say ‘I’m not ready.’ My fiance is very understand and supported, he feels that he doesn’t want our daughter to be a only child. He wants them to have another sibling that they can go to high school together.

Always talk to your significant other, talking may not be the most fun thing to do, but it’s better to open up versus letting it all soak inside.

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Doctor’s Appointments

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As a mom, we have to go to a lot of appointments for our kids. The most appointments you will ever go to with your child is when they are first born to a year old. Sometimes you have to go to extra appointments that isn’t to your doctors appointment.

About a week ago, we had to take my daughter to a heart doctor, because of our past with my son having HLHS. When she was first born, she had a hole in her heart that have not closed quite yet.

When we went to the appointment, I was a relieved mama. The hole had completely closed and they didn’t want to see her back until she was 2. Appointments, like these, always get me worried because you never know if anything scary or bad could happen.

Today, my daughter has her 6 month check up and shots. Usually, it’s a normal appointment. Except, my daughter is very long, she gets that from me, and the doctor sometimes makes us come back for a ‘weight check’. Personally, if my daughter is healthy and gaining weight, I don’t see any problem.

However, doctors go by percentages on what my daughter should be gaining every time they come in for a checkup. It drives me crazy because she is gaining what she is supposed to, but because she is so long, they make it a big deal and we have to come back and pull more money out of our pocket.

I know the doctors mean well and want to make sure that our daughter is healthy, but sometimes they should just go by percentages because all babies are different. Every baby is completely different from the next. I think doctors forget about that and that they should take that into consideration versus what the percentages are saying they should be at.

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Mom Talk: Making Time For You

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As a stay-at-home mom, I’m with my daughter 24/7. A lot of moms can’t do it because they want the social interaction. I’m one of those that if you don’t message me or call me, I rarely will text someone other than my mother or fiance.

Growing up, I never had many friends, especially now, I don’t even have a best friend, but I’m not sad anymore because she was very toxic to my life.

Anyway, I haven’t left my daughter with anyone or let her spend the night with any family members. My daughter is only 6 months old and I don’t feel comfortable enough for me to leave her with anyone yet.

It’s not that I don’t trust the family members that I would leave her with, its just some of them do not respect how I am raising my daughter. Don’t get me wrong, they mean well, but some of what they did when their kids were younger, is something that I wouldn’t do.

You are probably thinking in your head, ‘What do you do if you want some time for you if you don’t feel comfortable leaving your daughter with anyone?’. Well, what I do, is once my daughter is asleep, I’ll go out in my living room, listening it, if she screams. Either I will finish up cleaning up the house or I will relax by watching Netflix or playing video games.

Sometimes, I’ll crochet and knit or watch videos on YouTube. Or anything else that I will be able to relax, but that isn’t too loud to wake her up. Some days, I just want to read, but I usually start to fall asleep.

If you are one of those moms that can leave your children in the care of your family, they go get some time for you! Doing it every once in a while, is not bad to do, but if you are partying every night, just to escape to be a parent. If you do that, I’m not judging, but if your parting comes first, before your children, maybe you would’ve thought twice about having kids.

Us moms do need a break. I have one day that I have my fiance take care of our daughter, so that I can get stuff done or work on anything that needs to be worked on. It’s not bad to take a break, just don’t make it more important than your children.

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Should Kids Do Chores?

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On Facebook, I saw this video that talked about how a mother post pictures of her children doing chores. A lot of people were bashing this mother because she was making her children, as one had said, ‘making them slaves’.

When I was growing up, we always did chores. As soon as we got able to start understanding things, my mom would have us learn to do the simple stuff like picking up our toys or taking our dirty clothes and putting them into a hamper.

To me, this was a learning experience. It showed me how responsible it was to do them. It wasn’t because my mother was lazy or she made us do them because we were her slaves. She showed us how to do this, so that one day we would be able to do it when we were on our own.

I used to complain about doing the dishes, when I was younger, but I should’ve just done them and not complained as much. Now, I have to do them all the time. I don’t have a dishwasher, so I have to hand wash everything, not just that, but my daughters bottles too.

I think that kids, nowadays, needs to be taught that not everything will be done for you because, one day, they will have to do it by themselves. I also think that we should teach our kids the value of money and show how to save or spend.

I want to show my kids that if you work hard, you can make your dreams come true. No matter what.

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: How To Deal With Unwanted Advice

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As a mom, you will get told by everyone how to care for your child. From your family to doctors to strangers. Even before the baby’s born, you will be told how to even talk care of yourself.

With my first pregnancy, I wasn’t as vocal as I wanted to be. I’ve always been a quiet ‘keep to myself kinda person.’ So, when I became pregnant with my son, I hear about how you shouldn’t do formula or you should use a diaper genie, list goes on.

My daughter, it was completely different. I put my foot down to a lot of stuff. I’m still trying to make sure that peoples advice, doesn’t change the way I want to raise my kids. Plus, we as moms, get judged on everything.

To me, I will take the advice into consideration, but if it’s something that I, as a parent, will not do to parent my child, then I speak up. Sometimes, I can’t speak up to a family member because I’m afraid of hurting their feelings, but I have learned that when it comes to you parenting your kids, the only feeling that matters is your kids and yours.

There are three ways you can handle unwanted advise:

  1. Ignoring  it – This is what I usually do, if a stranger were to approach me with unwanted advise. I usually will nod my head. Sometimes, I do it with family, its easier to do, if you don’t want to make a big deal out or you know it will turn into a giant fight, this would be your best go to.
  2. Speaking up, in a polite way – If you are a person that voices your opinion, but don’t want to offend anyone. This would be more towards close friends, maybe family. Telling them in a polite way, will make it seem not as harsh as bluntly coming out and telling them what is what.
  3. Bluntly telling them straight up – I only go this far, if I’m frustrated. If I have had a bad day and didn’t have any coffee, I snap. I usually will only snap at family, because they have been in my shoes. Plus they understand that they would rather me snap at them versus my kids.

There is one thing that we always need to keep in mind. How we parent our kids, may not be the same as other, but we should respect how others parent. The world we live in, there are too many people judging before they know the full story, but when it comes to advise, we need to handle it as we feel comfortable.

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Should You Smoke Around Your Children?

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Back in the day, we didn’t know how bad smoking cigarettes can be. Now, you don’t see any commercials promoting cigarettes or tobacco. Still to this day, people still smoke cigarettes.

Had I smoked a cigarette before. Yes, but I didn’t smoke enough for me to become addicted to them. My fiance smokes and last year, he almost went an entire year without smoking, but unfortunately, he got back into the nasty habit.

Smoking is a very difficult thing to quit, but one thing that drives me nuts is parents who smoke around babies or children. I believe that a baby or a child shouldn’t be anywhere never or around cigarettes.

Some of you may think that its okay, just because you grew up in a time your parents smoked around you. It’s not. Second hand smoke is even worst then just smoking a cigarette. It’s even worst for babies or children to inhale it.

Even when you are in another room or holding up the cigarette away from the child, they can still inhale the second hand smoke. Especially in a car. Rolling down the windows WILL NOT prevent the smoke from getting to the child.

As a mother, who had a child with a heart condition, it’s even more fatal. I’m one of those moms that will not go into a house or car if it smells like cigarette smoke. I was never around it and I want my kids to not be around it.

I especially don’t want to hear or see my kids pretending or wanting to smoke a cigarette. I will teach my children that cigarettes are bad and that you shouldn’t be like someone just because the smoke cigarettes.

I believe that my children should be able to breathe in fresh clean air versus second hand smoke. I’ve lost family because of cigarettes, I don’t want to risk my children’s life just because someone has to have a habit that they started.

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Being a Stay-At-Home Mom

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A lot of moms don’t have the pleasure to stay home with their children nowadays. Back then, the man of the house would work, while the woman stay home and take care of the kids and make sure the house is clean.

It’s not for everyone, being a stay-at-home mom. If you are like me, and don’t have a license, then you are very limited to where you can go. (I’m working on getting it now.) The only places I can really walk to are to my mother-in-law.

It can be depressing or you can lose your mind at times, believe me, but I always get out of the house, once a week. Just so I don’t lose my mind. At times, I feel overwhelm, but I just take a deep breath and count to ten and then get back to what I’m doing.

I’ll admit that I really only have patience for my kids, but when I am around other people’s children, I really try to not lose my cool.

You might be saying that I am a terrible person for saying that, but I may not be the only one who thinks this way. Don’t get me wrong, I love my children. I just don’t like how other people raise theirs, but I don’t say anything. I keep it to myself.

Anyway, the best part of staying home, is that I get to spend all day and every day with my daughter. I don’t get to miss out on her firsts of everything. The best part, my fiance makes enough for us to do it. He busts his ass everyday to make sure that I am able to do it.

Of course that wasn’t my original plan. I had a job, and ended up getting pregnant with our daughter. I planned to go back to work, after my maternity leave, but once my daughter was born, all I could think of was that I didn’t want to miss out on her growing up.

Plus, I didn’t want someone else to raise my daughter. I wanted to be the one to witness all of her firsts. My mother missed out on watching all three of us growing up. I didn’t want to miss out on anything.

I do have to say though, being a stay-at-home mom, was the best decision I made. Once I get my license, the door will open up for me and my family. We won’t have to depend on someone to take us to where ever we want to go, but we will be able to decide whether we want to leave or go.

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Technology Is Our Life

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Growing up, I was always outside. Everyday after school, I wouldn’t be inside. I would be outside playing with the neighborhood kids. There was never a day that we weren’t outside. Things have changed, since I was little. Technology is a lot more advance to the point that we don’t even have to physically turn on our lights.

Nowadays, I see more and more kids on a tablets or smart phones than going outside to play. What happened to making mud pies? Or playing tag?

Technology.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s very helpful, at times. I know some parents use it as a learning device, which is great! One thing that drives me nuts is seeing kids, less than 5 have their own phone.

There are parents who give their children technology to keep them distracted or busy so that they can get the house clean, make dinner, or even keep the busy when on a long trip. I see nothing wrong, as long as it is in moderation.

You see, I believe that our kids should be introduced to technology, at some point in their life. I don’t believe on starting them off on them until about age 4 or 5, but with only an hour a day to play.

I know a lot of people won’t agree on me about this topic, but kids or young children shouldn’t be on technology all day! I don’t care for my smart phone, I really don’t. The only reason I have it is because I need to check my e-mail, messager, and even to keep up with friends and family on Facebook. Other than that, I miss my blackberry!

Since I am a stay-at-home mom, I have that extra time to make sure that my kids aren’t always on the tablet or watching TV all day. I want them to be able to go outside and have fun!

But the one thing that drives me crazy is that when I see kids, younger than 5, who have their own phone already! I’m sorry, but that’s a big no to me! Some of them even have Facebook! I didn’t even have my first, flip phone, until I was 14! My fiance didn’t have one until 16!

My children won’t have one until they are 15 and they will start out with a regular flip phone, just like my fiance and I did.

To get back to the point, technology is ruining everything. If you really think about it, Facebook’s real purpose was to connect with your family and friends, but it’s become a place where you have to watch what you say, do, act, or anything! Because if someone where to search you into Google or any other search engine, whatever you post or do, never leaves the internet. It’s out to been seen by the world.

What happened to getting snail mail? What happen to the plain old telephone? Or playing board games with your friends?

Before you know it, technology will be doing everything for you, it’s already started. It has only just began.

 

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Losing Friends

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A lot of things change once you have a baby. Not only does your life change, but sometimes your friends too. They might be excited when your pregnant, but once the baby is born and you don’t have time to spend with them, things changed.

You might even drop some friends in the process. Not because they weren’t good friends, but maybe you were more mature and didn’t want to deal with their drama?

That’s how it was for me.

I have kept so many people in my life, that caused me so much drama and problems, but I should’ve been clearing them from my life and focusing what would be best for my family.

Today, I cleaned the list up, the one person I first called my ‘best friend’. I’ve known her since 8th grade. We went to high school together, had lunch together, but didn’t hang out as much like we should’ve.

We both have been through enough, but I was always there for her. As time went on, I knew that everything I was telling her, my opinion or suggestions, was going out the window. Then I realized that this was who she was:

She was unwanted drama.

Everything that I had tried to help her on, always became into drama. Now, I’m not the friend who tells you what you want to hear, I tell you what I think. She didn’t like it, but knows how blunt I can be.

After all the drama that she’s caused, I had to drop her. I sent her one last messaged and blocked her from everything. She was the only real friend I had in high school, but it was time to grow up and move on. So that’s what I did.

I was getting to mature to deal with all the ‘high school’ drama that she was starting. One after another, I was overwhelmed with drama. Not mine, with hers. I did it because I thought it was best for me.

Sometimes you have to do something you really don’t want to do, but once you have a family, you have to answer the one question that you will answer over and over again:

What is best for my family?

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I chose to do what is best. Not because I wanted to, but because I needed to. It was what was best for my little family.

‘A friend can always be replaced, but family is irreplaceable.’ – Unknown

 

 

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Feeding

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When I had my son, I tried to breast feed, but he only latched on once. Throughout the rest of his short life, I pumped every 3 hours, and I barely got an ounce from both of my breasts.

I told myself that maybe I wasn’t getting enough simuation? I didn’t get to have him on my chest, when he was first born because of his heart condition. After that, I had a day to hold him, before he went into surgery, after that, I wasn’t aloud to hold him until he was no on as many tubes and wires.

I figured that when I had my daughter, I would be able to breast feed, since she was able to be put on my chest, once she was born. I just kept breastfeeding, but when we went to her first check up, I knew that I wasn’t making enough for her to be full. So, I had to put her on formula.

I tired everything: drinking water, eating milk cookies or bars, drinking mother’s milk tea, but nothing worked. Finally, I had to face the facts that I couldn’t do the one thing that a mother was supposed to do.

But, I kept telling myself: ‘as long as she is fed, that’s all that matters.’ It is a struggle, but I did find out that not a lot of mother’s could breast feed, just like me. Which made it easier that I wasn’t the only one who couldn’t.

I had a lot of people told me that ‘breast is best’ or ‘if your baby doesn’t drink breast milk, they won’t be able to learn or develop like they should.’ If you can’t make enough for your baby to eat, why judge the mothers that had no choice, but to choose formula?

We shouldn’t judge on how parents feed their child, whether its breast milk or formula, as long as the baby is happy, healthy, and fed. That’s all that really matters.