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Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Where Have I Been and Plans for My Blog

Posted on by Katie Night

Hey Dearies! So, if you haven’t noticed, I haven’t been as active as I would like and I wanted to talk about what changes have been going on in my life. Not to mention, I want to talk about the future of this blog as well.

Currently, I’ve been working on college quite a bit and I haven’t had a free moment to work on my blog, not to mention, I’m also chasing around my almost 3-year-old daughter. I’m working on getting my degree for medical coding and billing.

I originally wanted to become a teacher, I still do, but I don’t want to go through the schooling and then not going forward to be a teacher. It’s something that I’m still interested in doing, but its just something that I’m still debating about it.

I’m still crocheting, if you are wondering and still follow me on Instagram. Since we are getting closer to the holiday months, hookers and knitters, like myself, are preparing gifts for our family and stuff. I’m hoping to have some patterns posted for you all this season, but if not, I’ll have some holiday gifts ideas.

I don’t plan on stopping this blog, but I’m going to try my best to become more active, make sure to share or like any of the patterns that I post or any of my written books or short stories.

Also, I’ve been job searching as well and with lots of applying and searching, I have one! I’m really excited to get back into the workforce after being a stay-at-home mom. I’m really excited and I can’t wait until I begin this new chapter in my life.

So, please stay patient with me as I tackle on the new job, college, and of course motherhood all in one. I can’t wait to post more stuff for both arts and crafts, gaming, and writing.

Posted in Mom Talk

How To Deal With Unwanted Advice (Mom Talk)

Posted on by Katie Night

Once you find out your expecting your first child, its an amazing feeling! Your excited to experience being pregnant and feeling your child grow to giving birth and watching them grow. However, the moment you get pregnant, the unwanted advise will start to kick in.

Some people are very genuine, but there are others that will pull the whole, “When I was pregnant,” or “I raise my kids this way.”  It can be very overwhelming and it does make you very cautious about how you will raise your kids because you’ll feel like you need to raise your kids the way they are telling you.

Best part, you don’t NEED to take their advise.

I would nod and thank them anyway. I was always raised to be kind and respectful to my elders or anyone in general. I would say usually, “Thank you for the advise, I’ll keep that in mind.” Saying something as simple as that is sweet and perfect to use.

As a mom, you will get told by everyone how to care for your child. From your family to doctors to strangers. Even before the baby’s born, you will be told how to even take care of yourself.

What’s important is what’s best for YOU. If you aren’t sure about something, whether when you are pregnant or kids, ask your provider, they would know what is best. Of course you can always go to your mom, but if you really are unsure, going to a professional would be the best advise that you can get.

When I was first pregnant with my son, I wasn’t as vocal as I wanted to be. It was all new, exciting, and I was scared shitless. I was worrying about all the wrong things that could happen with the pregnancy, especially with it being my first. I was even more overwhelmed when I found out my son was going to have a heart condition.

Even when they knew about his heart condition, I still got the unwanted advise. I don’t think many people understood that with his heart condition, it was all together going to be a different situation. I just kept to myself and thanked them anyway since I was more worried about if my son was going to make it.

My daughter, it was completely different. I put my foot down to a lot of stuff. I’m still trying to make sure that peoples advice doesn’t change the way I want to raise my kids. Plus, we as moms, get judged on everything.

With my more recent daughter, I did get some advise, but honestly I did take most of it in consideration since there has been a huge gap between my oldest daughter, to my youngest and there had been a lot of changes since she was little.

To me, I will take the advice into consideration, but if it’s something that I, as a parent, will not do to parent my child, then I speak up. Sometimes, I can’t speak up to others about this because I’m afraid of hurting their feelings, but I have learned that when it comes to you parenting your kids, the only feeling that matters is your kids and yours.

There are three ways you can handle unwanted advise:

  1. Ignoring  it – This is what I usually do, if a stranger were to approach me with unwanted advise. I usually will nod my head. Sometimes, I do it with family, its easier to do, if you don’t want to make a big deal out or you know it will turn into a giant fight, this would be your best go to.
  2. Speaking up, in a polite way – If you are a person that voices your opinion, but don’t want to offend anyone. This would be more towards close friends, maybe family. Telling them in a polite way, will make it seem not as harsh as bluntly coming out and telling them what is what.
  3. Bluntly telling them straight up – I only go this far, if I’m frustrated. If I have had a bad day and didn’t have any coffee, I snap. I usually will only snap at family, because they have been in my shoes. Plus they understand that they would rather me snap at them versus my kids.

There is one thing that we always need to keep in mind. How we parent our kids, may not be the same as other, but we should respect how others parent. The world we live in now, there are too many people judging before they know the full story, but when it comes to advise, we need to handle it as we feel comfortable.

Posted in Mom Talk

Being a Stay-At-Home Mom (Mom Talk)

Posted on by Katie Night

Image result for stay at home mom

A lot of moms don’t have the pleasure to stay home with their children nowadays. In order just to live, you need both parents income and even that can barely keep you afloat. Even then its still a struggle to afford daycare on top of all the other bills as well.

Back in the day, the husband would be out working, while the wife stayed home to care for the kids, keeping the house clean and in order, and as well as making sure that there was a cooked meal ready for when the husband got home.

Being a stay-at-home mom isn’t for everyone. I honestly never really thought about being a stay-at-home mom much until after I had lost my son and got pregnant with my daughter that I didn’t want to miss out on her growing up and reaching milestones that I would never get to experience with my son.

After I had her, I knew I would have a very difficult time leaving her when I had to go back to work. So, her father and I decided that being a stay-at-home mom would be the best thing for not only me, but it would save us on having to pay for childcare as well.

At the time, I didn’t have my license and the only places I could walk were just to my mother-in-laws, which I didn’t do much because we lived on a very busy street. Not to mention, I was living in a trailer park that also wasn’t close to any store at all either.

We did have a mini backyard that I had a swing that I could go out on, which was nice to have, but I felt very alone during the day and even more at night. Since my daughters father worked night shift, I barely had time with him during the day before he had to leave for work.

I did feel very alone, even though I was with my daughter, I felt so alone. The social interaction I would get from her father, was more of what bills need to be paid, what groceries we needed, and what we were going to do the weekend. I felt like I was on zombie mode.

Which is why I started to get into blogging more and even had a pen pal that I would e-mail just to stay sane. Sure, I had my family I could call and text, which I did often, but they didn’t really understand what struggles a stay-at-home mom can go through.

I become very depressed after the 2nd year of being a stay-at-home mom. I loved being able to spend time with my daughter and watching her grow up and learn new things, but I also hated being stuck and alone most of the day.

Thankfully, I did manage to get out at least once a week when my mom would come on Sundays. We would do our usual visit to see my great-grandmother or do something fun for the day either visiting family or shopping or just getting out of the house.

The sad part was, the moment I got home, I was alone again.

My depression got so bad to a point that I didn’t think I’d ever get to the point of not being here. However, the voice in my head kept telling me, “your daughter needs you.” That was the thing that kept me going, but it also terrified me of how she would have to cope if I went through with it.

Thankfully, my mom helped me get myself out of the tunnel of darkness and back on my feet. After the 3rd year of being a stay-at-home mom, I got a job and started working again.

After that, I moved in with her, got my license, bought my first car, and worked on myself within the first 6 months of leaving my ex. As much as I loved spending all the time in the world with my daughter, I was slowly losing myself.

I never regret being a stay-at-home mom because my daughter and I had lots of fun and she always made me smile, especially on my bad days. If I had to go back and do it again, I think I would, but I would find a remote job so that I didn’t loose my mind completely.

Being a stay-at-home mom is hard, but the memories and watching your child grow up and hit milestones, is priceless. I really wish we didn’t live the way that we did so that more mother’s could experience it for themselves for at least the first year.

I wish I did that with my youngest daughter that I had back in February of this year, but with how my current living situation is, it would be difficult to do. I did take a longer maternity leave with this one, but ended up going back to work shortly after.

Overall, choosing to be a stay-at-home mom has is ups and downs, however, it is up to you to see if that lifestyle is something for you. After being back in the workforce, I personally wouldn’t be able to do it again, unless I was working from home.