Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: It’s Okay To Not Keep Everything (Baby Stuff)

Hey Dearies, I wanted to talk about another big problem that us moms have that I don’t think anyone has mentioned. What’s worth keeping and what’s not worth keeping from your baby’s stuff.

I know a few are you are problem screaming at me through the screen saying, ‘WHAT?!’, but let me tell you why.

As a mother who has lost a child and is currently raising one at the moment, we want to keep stuff that they have ever use, such as outfits, blankets, shoes, bibs, toys, etc. The list goes on and on, to the point you have to ask yourself one question:

Where am I going to put this all?

But, I’m here to tell you, it’s okay that you don’t keep everything. If you are like me and live in a tiny trailer, then you understand where I’m coming from. When you have a baby, you get lots of stuff and most of the stuff is NEVER used or is used maybe once or twice.

When my son passed away, I wanted to keep all of his stuff, even stuff that he had never used, not just for memories, but for our next baby. Not to mention, I made sure his stuff, that he did wear, would be in his own tote.

Growing up, my mom make sure us kids had 3 totes. Inside, she had a few of our favorite outfits, first pairs of shoes, baby books, and some other stuff. I loved the idea of keeping a tote for each of my kids, which is exactly what I did.

Even when I kept my son’s stuff, I still had a LOT stuff that I was never been able to use, not to mention, a lot of family member also get you stuff for the baby to be, which can be super helpful, but sometimes you feel like you HAVE to keep stuff like that. But let me tell you something:

ITS OKAY TO NOT WANT TO KEEP IT!

Don’t let friends and family make you think you HAVE to keep stuff that you don’t have room for or you just don’t want to keep. There are plenty of parents and parents-to-be who are in need of stuff as such.

Yes, you can save those items for the next child you plan to have, but if you don’t have space, sell it or give it to those who need it! Don’t have your house cluttered just because you want to save it for the next baby because when you do plan to have another baby, someone else will be willing to give you the same stuff that you gave them.

So, I bet you are probably wondering, why I even wanted to bring this up. Well, let me get to that because it wasn’t just because I had a lot of leftover stuff, it had more to do with the fact that my daughter was getting older and her room was turning more into storage, than an actual bedroom.

Yes, we do have closets, but living in a small trailer, you don’t have much room to begin with, so you have to work with what you got.

Since my daughter was getting older, I decided that it was overdue for me to go through her stuff and figure out what I was going to do with it all because she needed a room that she can actually play in.

I went through any baby stuff, such as clothes, rockers, bouncy seat, bibs, walkers, etc. Since my daughter was too old to be using those, I sold them. Which, to me, isn’t a big deal because they didn’t have any attachment to it.

So, what did I actually keep?

  • Baby Book
  • Hospital Bracelets
  • First outfits
  • First pairs of shoes
  • An outfit that she wore, only one from each size.
  • First pacifier
  • First blanket
  • The first dress I crocheted her
  • The crib
  • The bassinet
  • Baby swing

That’s it. The last three are because they had a meaning to me, which I am going to keep for that sake, but everything else fits in her tote. Also, when I mean I’m saving an outfit from each size, it’s one outfit from newborn to 12 months. Anything else, I have either donated or sold to those who really need it.

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But as moms or new moms, don’t feel pressured to keep everything, it’s okay to not want to. And it’s okay to keep everything, if you have the room and space for it, go for it!

Whatever preference you decide, it’s okay. Just remember, the moments and memories you create, is worth more than items itself.

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Fear Of Losing All Your Adult Teeth

Okay, so this is something that really isn’t talked about, but I figured I would brush on it because it has always been a fear of losing an adult tooth. The real why I’m talking about it is because I’m not the only one who fears of losing their teeth.

When you are little, losing teeth was exciting because we would always get a visit from the tooth fairy that took our teeth and replaced us with money, but when you become an adult, losing an adult tooth can cause more anxiety, fear, and panic, especially if you don’t have any control over it.

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The real reason why I’m bringing this topic up because a few months ago, I was, still am, freaking out over my teeth. One of my top front teeth was loose, just a little bit, but any adult tooth that moves, to me, it’s gonna fall out. I when to the dentist and they told me to take it easy and not bite into anything hard.

To me, my mind was racing everywhere, my anxiety was making me think that I was gonna lose it, I’m gonna have to get an implant or worse, they’ll pull all my teeth out and I’ll have to get dentures. Not to mention, the big key factor, it’s gonna cost money that I don’t have for it.

You are probably laughing about it, but you don’t understand, this is how my anxiety is.

With that being said, I started to do what you shouldn’t do when your anxiety is as bad as mine is. Google.

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I was searching for everything from bad gum disease to implants to getting dentures. Not to mention, I started watching videos about everyday people who have had dentures since they were young.

It was bad, I couldn’t sleep a few nights because of my research.

Anyway, let’s get back to what happened when I felt that my tooth was moving. I was flossing and sometimes, my gums bleed if I floss too hard, not to mention that I haven’t been to the dentist in almost 2 years because I couldn’t afford it. So, I freaked out.

I tried to have breakfast and couldn’t finish it because I thought I felt my top tooth move, so I called my dentist and they scheduled me to come in right away. So, I went in and they took a look at the tooth and did confirm that I wasn’t nuts and it was moving slightly, keyword slightly.

Not to mention, I’m 22 and I STILL have my wisdom teeth in, they told me I needed to go get those pulled. They don’t bother me, but up until now, they are starting to push my teeth together, not to mention if I’m getting one pulled, you might as well get them all pulled.

With that being said, I’ve been brushing, flossing, and mouth rising like it is a religion because I’m afraid to have dentures.

But why are we so afraid to get dentures? Well, because we think it’s for old people, which you aren’t wrong, but there are young people who have them as well. The youngest person to ever wear dentures is 3 years old.

That’s crazy, but depending on what their genetics are, it can force you to be without your teeth. If you go on Youtube, you’ll find lots of people, young and old people, who had dentures and how they are trying to make it so it isn’t just for ‘older’ folks.

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Some of them even have dental implants, which can cost a fortune, just to get them. Hearing their stories and what they struggled with losing their teeth, especially at a young age, makes me inspired. Not to mention, it won’t make me feel alone because there are people at my age that have fake teeth.

It’s something no one should be ashamed about, but instead, embrace it.

Especially since I’ve had 2 children and pregnancy can do a HUGE number onto your teeth. So, if it happens to me, it happens. Seeing those videos and reading about these people that have dentures or fake teeth, relaxes me in a way and it lets you know that you aren’t alone.

Do you have fears that your teeth are going to fall out? Leave a comment down below, I would love to know that I’m not the only one that has a fear about it.

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: What Some People Don’t Understand About Being A Stay-At-Home Mom

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What do you think of when you hear ‘stay-at-home mom’? Do you think, ‘Wow, they are so lucky, they must get so much time.’ or ‘Their kids must drive them crazy!’ or ‘They probably didn’t want to go back to work.’ There are so many opinions about stay-at-home moms, but they don’t understand what goes through the mind of a stay-at-home mom.

I’m a stay-at-home mom. I made the decision to become one when I realized that I didn’t want to miss out on any of my daughters milestones. I also talked to my fiance to make sure it was something we could afford to do.

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However, I didn’t expect to be a stay at home mom. Way before I even had kids, I did have a plan of what I wanted to do in my future. I wanted to become a teacher. Still to this day, I would love to be a teacher, but sometimes plans change when you have kids.

Let’s get back to me being a stay-at-home mom. The other downfall is that I don’t have a way to get from place to place because I’ve got some compilations with getting my license, so once a week, my mother comes to pick me up and it gives me a chance to get out of the house.

When I get back home, I’m in this state of mind: lonely. I know I’m not alone, but when you are a stay-at-home mom, the only people you talk to is your children and whenever your spouse is home. You are probably saying, ‘Don’t you have other friends or mom friends you can talk to or invite over.’

Yes, I do, but here is the thing about me. I have no problem talk to close family, but when it comes to friends, I feel like this: I’m bothering them. They are probably busy. They don’t want to hear from me. I don’t have a car, they will think I’m using them. They probably don’t like me. 

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Those sentences run through my mind when I think about talking to someone other than my family. I do have a few friends that stay-at-home, but I will always feel like a bother to them. Which I might not be, but I feel like that for everyone, anytime someone does something for me or my family, I feel it was done because I was a bother.

Moving on, a lot of people think their house would be spotless, being able to stay home. I try my best to keep the place in ‘decent shape’, but between ordering stuff online, broken appliances, toys everywhere, and having a bunch of stuff that we have no room for, it’s very hard to keep this place spotless.

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I’m lucky to sweep at least once a week or vacuum. Dishes, the ones that we use the most get rewashed everyday, the other just sit until we need them. I’ve gotten all the dishes done at one point, but they stack up quicker. Laundry has been difficult because of the fact that they are broken.

It’s not just that, I worry about not being able to pay off bills, my own medical bills. I worry about little things, but they turn into giant things because my mind makes them a big thing.

You also have to take in fact that my daughter always wants me, so doing stuff around the house during the day is difficult. ‘You can get them done when she goes to sleep or takes a nap.’ Yeah, I can, during her naps, I try to get as much as I can done, but when she goes to sleep for the night, it’s difficult because I’m exhausted and I usually take that time to relax doing what I want to do. Sometimes, I’m just too tired and just go to bed.

The one thing people always asks me is: Do you love being a stay-at-home mom?

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Yes and no. The no part is that you don’t socialize very much with adults, chores can be a challenge to do, you get depressed very quickly, you mind feels, and you never get a break, sometimes. Why do I love it? I get to see my daughter reach milestones. Watch laugh, cry, walk, find her voice, play with her toys, talk, and most of all, make her known that she is loved.

If you are a stay-at-home mom and can get all the chores done, being able to sit on the couch folding laundry with a cup of coffee, watching your kids favorite T.V. show, good for you! I’m glad you have the motivation to do all that, I wish I had motivation for that.

But, if you are like me, where we barely get stuff done, spend it most with our kids, forgetting to sweep, worrying about what to do with stuff that you can’t decided to throw away or keep. It’s okay!

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It’s okay that our emotions get in the way, we just have to learn to deal with them in the most healthiest way possible. It’s okay if you reach out for help, sometimes you just need an outsiders point of view.

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Being Afraid Of The Scale

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When I wake up in the morning, the first thing I see in the mirror is me. Not just me, but the extra weight that hangs over, under my arms, under my chin, and the worse, the muffin top.

Ever since I’ve been little, I hated the scale. In school, I didn’t want to step on it and have everyone find out what my weight was. To this day, stepping on the scale scares me. I’m afraid of it being too high. I’m afraid of everyone knowing my number of how much I weigh.

It’s hard for me to even think about losing weight, because I always hear everyone around me saying, ‘Isn’t she too young to be big for that size?’. It has scared me, to the point where I was ready to give up on trying to lose weight and ignore the comments.

The comments would always come back to haunt me. Even after having kids, I still haven’t managed to lose the baby weight, but other mothers are so lucky and drop it at the snap of their fingers. I’ve always wanted to be just like those moms, drop the extra weight and keep it off.

This morning, after I woke up, I did something I wouldn’t normally do. Step on the scale.

Just pulling it from under my sink, I worried on how big the number was going to be, even with me doing yoga for about a week. What if the number is too high? What if the yoga isn’t working or I’m not putting in enough effort? What if I am eating too much?

Those questions kept circling my mind as I finally stepped onto the scale. My face flushed as I looked down at the haunting number. 234.8. A lot of you might not think that its a lot, but for me, I have been in the 200’s since high school. It puts a damper on your mind. Or for me, I tell myself that it’s not good enough.

You see, we are told at a young age that we can’t be ‘big’ or ‘fat’. Even in school, they make us take a test on how ‘healthy’ we are, or to see how ‘overweight’ we are. To me, it made me feel that I had to be skinny to fit in, have friend, do sports, or even join teams.

Maybe its just me, that has problems trying to lose weight. Maybe I’m the only one having issues with it. It gets harder to want to do anything when technology keeps getting better and is making us become more lazy or not have motivation to do anything.

The real issue is that no of us should be afraid of stepping on a scale, but stepping on a scale will give you, not just a number, but where you would fit on the scale of what is socially normal to be, in this world today.

Next time you see an overweight person, don’t judge them because they are fat or look overweight, don’t judge them. You should only judge them as a person by their personality, not their looks.

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Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Dealing With Depression As A Mom

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A lot of people think that having a baby will bring you joy and happiness for your family. Which is does, but a lot of people don’t understand that there is a lot going on then just taking care of a baby.

I have been dealing with depression since I was 13. It’s been a long rocky-road for me. Sometimes, I just wish that I could just be happy, but having depression, makes you want to do nothing. Be nothing. You are always sad inside and no one will really know unless you talk to them about it.

When you have a baby, after the baby is born, some mom struggle with, what it is called, ‘baby blues’. It usually happens to a lot of moms within the first month of their baby being born. That’s why a lot of OBGYN’s ask you about ‘baby blues’, at your 6 week post-postpartum check up. They want to make sure that you and the baby are in good hands.

As a mom who has already lost a child and just had another one, it’s really difficult for me to watch my daughter grow because my son died when he was only a month old. It’s started to hit me a few days ago, that’s why there hasn’t been a lot of blogging going on.

Not just with the depression, stress and other issues are also on my mind. It makes it worse, especially when you have a little one that needs you every waking minute. There are days that I don’t want to get up, but my daughter gives me the kick that I need to get up and go on with my life.

It makes me sad that I can’t see my son reach the milestones that my daughter is, but she gives me a sense of hope. Just because I lost my son, I can’t get up on the fact that he’s gone. I always know that he will always watch over my daughter and any future children that I may have.

Before you say that a newly mother can’t be depressed, think about this. Have you ever had a child? Have you ever thought of the crying to never end? Have you ever go nuts, in your mind, because your baby is crying and you don’t know why?

I give praises to newly mothers, especially ones that have babies or children with birth defects. I also want to praise all the mothers that try their best, when they think their best isn’t good enough.

You moms are doing amazing!

It’s good to hear a good thing or too. To me, it makes me feel inspired and more confident to shoot for the stars.

But the one thing that I always do, when I’m feeling depressed or down, I talk to someone. Whether it is a friend, family member, or my fiance. I talk to someone. I rather people know what’s going on, versus keeping it all locked inside. As much as I sometimes would rather not talk to anyone, I know that I should.

If you are a mom, who’s struggling with depression or ‘baby blues’, talk to someone or talk to your doctor, they can give you some medication that will make it easier for you to handle. As much as some people don’t like taking medications, I am one of those people, it does work.

I am always an open ear. Seriously, if you need someone to talk to, go to my Contact page and send me a message. It’s better to open up to someone, rather than no one.

To all those moms, you keep doing what you are doing, better days are sure to come.

*If you really need help and need to talk to someone or a medical professionally, click on the link below. It gives a list of hotlines and explains depression in depth. The hotline is there and is completely anonymous.

https://www.mentalhelp.net/articles/depression-hotline/

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Dealing With Family Drama

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Drama is very difficult to avoid or stay away from. It’s its apart of our life, no matter what. Whether you are single or are in a relationship, drama is sure to find you.

Especially, if you are a parent and have children. However you decide how to raise your children, there will always be someone who talks behind you back about how much they really don’t like how you raise your children.

For me, I’ve got drama everywhere I look. In our house, if we have a problem, we sit down and deal with it and then move on. However, on both sides of our family, there are a few family members that haven’t really grown up yet, even with children.

Which, for me, I’ve grown up a lot, and I’m only 20. Losing my son, made me realize that I life is short and that we should make each day worth living for. It also made me realize that I’m too mature, even though sometimes I don’t act mature, that I don’t want to be around the drama.

I will admit that I am nosey, if it is about anyone else. Everyone can be nosey at some point in their life. You may or may not admit it, but it’s true.

What I am really getting at is that sometimes, the drama can children in the middle of it. I’m talking about when the adults get into an agruement and they ignore each other, preventing the children from bonding and creating a friendly relationship.

It makes me feel sad that cousins can’t have a good bond, like I do with my cousins, because one or the other parents have issues with a agruement.

I think that drama should be let back in high school. You either need to suck it up, buttercup. Or take you and the drama that follows, back to high school, where it belongs!

Families need to stick together through thick and thin. If you can’t get over an issue between your family members, think about your children and how it would effect them because the children should be the first thing that is thought about, not what issues you have with your family.

Unless, you are like me, and have that one person that did something really bad to you, that you don’t even want them to be in your or your childs life. Keep in mind, and I always have, it is your choice on who you want in your life and your childrens life.

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Struggles With Weight Loss

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After you have a child, you still have the extra ‘baby fat’, as people would like to call it. But, for me, it’s completely different. I have struggled with weight loss for a very long time.

I’ve been considered ‘overweight’ ever since I was in middle school. I always got picked on and judged on how I looked that I never had any self esteem to get me motivated enough to really change.

I’ve been brought down by doctors, friends, and even some family, because of my weight. I’ve never really been motivate to find some exercise or a better diet that I feel comfortable changing or trying to do. I was one of those girls that would rather play video games than go outside.

High school, I grew to except it, but I wasn’t truly happy. I didn’t want to be thin like a toothpick. I wanted to lose the belly fat. The muffin top that made me feel like nothing would ever fit me because of it. I would change my clothes more than I could remember because I felt like I didn’t look good in them.

Until, I met my fiance. He made me fell like no matter what size I was, I was still beautiful. He helped me see past the muffin top. After having our daughter, I still have the muffin top. I’m a stay-at-home mom, it’s been difficult to do anything because I’m usually so tired in the morning and in the afternoon.

So I looked up what I could do to help me get rid of this muffin top, and keep it off, for good.

I looked up different exercises and challenges that I could try and I spotted the 30-Day Squat Challenge. I started it last Sunday, but I already notice a difference. My pants, that didn’t fit me, are slowly starting to fit me. I’m already starting to look a little smaller than I did.

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This is the Squat Challenge that I am doing. Just in case anyone is ready to make a change, just like I am.

I’m become proud of myself and excited that I’m finally doing, what took me years, to do. I want to feel what it’s like to be able to pick out clothes that actually fit, for once. I want people to notice me and not just my body size. I want to be able to love me for me.

I just started week 2 and I feel excited to do my squats every morning. I want to see if I can really finish this. I’m ready to make a change, a healthier change for not just my family, but for me.