Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Why I Decided To Go Back To School (And Blog/YouTube Channel Update!)

Hey Dearies! I know it has been a while since I’ve posted on Mom Talk, but there is a reason why. I’m been getting ready to go back to school, or otherwise further my education and figure out what I really want to do in life.

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So, I have been thinking about college for the past few years, off and on. What really made me decide to do so are two things: My sister is going off to college herself and I saw a psychic that really gave me that extra push I wanted.

My sister, Kimmy, just graduated high school and is going off to an art college. Something in my mind just clicked in me. I’ve always wanted to go to college, I was gonna go after high school, but my plans got changed, which can happen.

Not to mention that when I saw the psychic, she told me that I was debating in my mind about going back to school. After she told me my future, about two years into the future she could tell, she said that I would’ve enrolled and I’d be working with children. Which she isn’t wrong, I’ve always wanted to become a teacher, an Elementary teacher or Middle School teacher at that.

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With that in mind, I finally gave myself a huge push forward to do so. I know that going to college is a big deal, but to me, I’ve been so proud of myself for pushing forward. A lot of my friends and family are really proud of me for taking that next step.

Anyway, the college that I chose is the same one that my mom is currently attending. It’s a community college, but if I chose to do so, I can transfer my credits to basically anywhere. Not to mention, I felt this would be a good place to start.

I’m going for General Studies, which is like the core classes you had to take in all through school. I figured this would help me decide on what subject would be to my liking, but I have two ideas that I would like to give it a shot, which is Medical Transcription and Billing or Accounting.

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Those are just a few ideas that I had in mind, but for some people, they change their mind when they start college. Which can happen and its perfectly fine to do so!

Blog and YouTube Update

 

With that being said, I’m going to try and get a schedule cracked down for my blog, Youtube, and writing in my free time, with adding my online classes into the mix as well. I’m not gonna be ending this blog AT ALL!

In fact, once I begin college, I would love to tell you all at how I am doing or how I’m balancing my life as a stay at home mom with college on the side! So, for the next couple of months, I’ll be planning out my next Crafty Sassy’s, Sims Stuff, Filming and Editing for both my blog and my YouTube Channel.

I’ll keep you all posted on what’s going on or what will be happening or changing. My plan is to keep Crafty Sassy on Tuesday and my book on Mondays. I’d like to do some fun mini short stories on Fridays, but we will see what happens.

So, another update is that I’ll be creating either a new YouTube Channel, for Craft stuff, or keep it all on my original channel, I’m still debating about it. I figured it would be a little easier for people to look for videos and such with two separate channels, but I’ll figure out something!

Anyway, thank you to everyone who has supported me, followed me, and have given me motivation for everything I do!

Don’t forget to like my Facebook page! That is where I’ll be posting most of my updates!

https://www.facebook.com/katiesblog96971617/

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Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: What Some People Don’t Understand About Being A Stay-At-Home Mom

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What do you think of when you hear ‘stay-at-home mom’? Do you think, ‘Wow, they are so lucky, they must get so much time.’ or ‘Their kids must drive them crazy!’ or ‘They probably didn’t want to go back to work.’ There are so many opinions about stay-at-home moms, but they don’t understand what goes through the mind of a stay-at-home mom.

I’m a stay-at-home mom. I made the decision to become one when I realized that I didn’t want to miss out on any of my daughters milestones. I also talked to my fiance to make sure it was something we could afford to do.

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However, I didn’t expect to be a stay at home mom. Way before I even had kids, I did have a plan of what I wanted to do in my future. I wanted to become a teacher. Still to this day, I would love to be a teacher, but sometimes plans change when you have kids.

Let’s get back to me being a stay-at-home mom. The other downfall is that I don’t have a way to get from place to place because I’ve got some compilations with getting my license, so once a week, my mother comes to pick me up and it gives me a chance to get out of the house.

When I get back home, I’m in this state of mind: lonely. I know I’m not alone, but when you are a stay-at-home mom, the only people you talk to is your children and whenever your spouse is home. You are probably saying, ‘Don’t you have other friends or mom friends you can talk to or invite over.’

Yes, I do, but here is the thing about me. I have no problem talk to close family, but when it comes to friends, I feel like this: I’m bothering them. They are probably busy. They don’t want to hear from me. I don’t have a car, they will think I’m using them. They probably don’t like me. 

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Those sentences run through my mind when I think about talking to someone other than my family. I do have a few friends that stay-at-home, but I will always feel like a bother to them. Which I might not be, but I feel like that for everyone, anytime someone does something for me or my family, I feel it was done because I was a bother.

Moving on, a lot of people think their house would be spotless, being able to stay home. I try my best to keep the place in ‘decent shape’, but between ordering stuff online, broken appliances, toys everywhere, and having a bunch of stuff that we have no room for, it’s very hard to keep this place spotless.

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I’m lucky to sweep at least once a week or vacuum. Dishes, the ones that we use the most get rewashed everyday, the other just sit until we need them. I’ve gotten all the dishes done at one point, but they stack up quicker. Laundry has been difficult because of the fact that they are broken.

It’s not just that, I worry about not being able to pay off bills, my own medical bills. I worry about little things, but they turn into giant things because my mind makes them a big thing.

You also have to take in fact that my daughter always wants me, so doing stuff around the house during the day is difficult. ‘You can get them done when she goes to sleep or takes a nap.’ Yeah, I can, during her naps, I try to get as much as I can done, but when she goes to sleep for the night, it’s difficult because I’m exhausted and I usually take that time to relax doing what I want to do. Sometimes, I’m just too tired and just go to bed.

The one thing people always asks me is: Do you love being a stay-at-home mom?

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Yes and no. The no part is that you don’t socialize very much with adults, chores can be a challenge to do, you get depressed very quickly, you mind feels, and you never get a break, sometimes. Why do I love it? I get to see my daughter reach milestones. Watch laugh, cry, walk, find her voice, play with her toys, talk, and most of all, make her known that she is loved.

If you are a stay-at-home mom and can get all the chores done, being able to sit on the couch folding laundry with a cup of coffee, watching your kids favorite T.V. show, good for you! I’m glad you have the motivation to do all that, I wish I had motivation for that.

But, if you are like me, where we barely get stuff done, spend it most with our kids, forgetting to sweep, worrying about what to do with stuff that you can’t decided to throw away or keep. It’s okay!

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It’s okay that our emotions get in the way, we just have to learn to deal with them in the most healthiest way possible. It’s okay if you reach out for help, sometimes you just need an outsiders point of view.

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Being Afraid Of The Scale

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When I wake up in the morning, the first thing I see in the mirror is me. Not just me, but the extra weight that hangs over, under my arms, under my chin, and the worse, the muffin top.

Ever since I’ve been little, I hated the scale. In school, I didn’t want to step on it and have everyone find out what my weight was. To this day, stepping on the scale scares me. I’m afraid of it being too high. I’m afraid of everyone knowing my number of how much I weigh.

It’s hard for me to even think about losing weight, because I always hear everyone around me saying, ‘Isn’t she too young to be big for that size?’. It has scared me, to the point where I was ready to give up on trying to lose weight and ignore the comments.

The comments would always come back to haunt me. Even after having kids, I still haven’t managed to lose the baby weight, but other mothers are so lucky and drop it at the snap of their fingers. I’ve always wanted to be just like those moms, drop the extra weight and keep it off.

This morning, after I woke up, I did something I wouldn’t normally do. Step on the scale.

Just pulling it from under my sink, I worried on how big the number was going to be, even with me doing yoga for about a week. What if the number is too high? What if the yoga isn’t working or I’m not putting in enough effort? What if I am eating too much?

Those questions kept circling my mind as I finally stepped onto the scale. My face flushed as I looked down at the haunting number. 234.8. A lot of you might not think that its a lot, but for me, I have been in the 200’s since high school. It puts a damper on your mind. Or for me, I tell myself that it’s not good enough.

You see, we are told at a young age that we can’t be ‘big’ or ‘fat’. Even in school, they make us take a test on how ‘healthy’ we are, or to see how ‘overweight’ we are. To me, it made me feel that I had to be skinny to fit in, have friend, do sports, or even join teams.

Maybe its just me, that has problems trying to lose weight. Maybe I’m the only one having issues with it. It gets harder to want to do anything when technology keeps getting better and is making us become more lazy or not have motivation to do anything.

The real issue is that no of us should be afraid of stepping on a scale, but stepping on a scale will give you, not just a number, but where you would fit on the scale of what is socially normal to be, in this world today.

Next time you see an overweight person, don’t judge them because they are fat or look overweight, don’t judge them. You should only judge them as a person by their personality, not their looks.

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Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Why I Don’t Co-Sleep

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I know reading the title already makes you want to voice your opinion about the topic. Some parents prefer co-sleeping, other, well, would rather not risk losing their bed. I, for one, do not co-sleep, here is why.

As a mom, giving into have your child sleep in bed for a night is one thing, is another thing when its every night. I don’t co-sleep with my daughter. My fiance and I both agreed that we would not allow our child to sleep in our bed unless they were sick or had a nightmare.

Since day one, my daughter has not slept in our bed with us and won’t start now. Having kids sleeping in our bed makes it difficult to spend time with our spouses. If its not a problem with you, great! For me its a different situation.

My fiance works second shift and we don’t get to see him very often. Him coming home to a kid-free bed, makes it easier for him to go to sleep. Me as well. I also have a fear that if my kids ever slept in our bed, one of us would roll over on them, which we both move around in our sleep a lot!

I want my kids to know from day one that they have a bed and that mommy and daddy’s bed isn’t where you go to sleep. They have their own bed for a reason. Plus, at ever doctors appointment, the doctor will remind me all the time that co-sleeping is a no, even though I have told him multiple times that I won’t and will not co-sleep.

They aren’t just saying it because that’s how they feel, they have to tell you because of the fact that so many babies die from being suffocated because of co-sleeping.

Now, if you are parents that do the whole co-sleeping, great! If it works for you, do it. I’m just voicing my opinion that I won’t ever really co-sleep. So, please don’t take it to heart that I’m telling you or trying to convince you otherwise.

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Dealing With Depression As A Mom

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A lot of people think that having a baby will bring you joy and happiness for your family. Which is does, but a lot of people don’t understand that there is a lot going on then just taking care of a baby.

I have been dealing with depression since I was 13. It’s been a long rocky-road for me. Sometimes, I just wish that I could just be happy, but having depression, makes you want to do nothing. Be nothing. You are always sad inside and no one will really know unless you talk to them about it.

When you have a baby, after the baby is born, some mom struggle with, what it is called, ‘baby blues’. It usually happens to a lot of moms within the first month of their baby being born. That’s why a lot of OBGYN’s ask you about ‘baby blues’, at your 6 week post-postpartum check up. They want to make sure that you and the baby are in good hands.

As a mom who has already lost a child and just had another one, it’s really difficult for me to watch my daughter grow because my son died when he was only a month old. It’s started to hit me a few days ago, that’s why there hasn’t been a lot of blogging going on.

Not just with the depression, stress and other issues are also on my mind. It makes it worse, especially when you have a little one that needs you every waking minute. There are days that I don’t want to get up, but my daughter gives me the kick that I need to get up and go on with my life.

It makes me sad that I can’t see my son reach the milestones that my daughter is, but she gives me a sense of hope. Just because I lost my son, I can’t get up on the fact that he’s gone. I always know that he will always watch over my daughter and any future children that I may have.

Before you say that a newly mother can’t be depressed, think about this. Have you ever had a child? Have you ever thought of the crying to never end? Have you ever go nuts, in your mind, because your baby is crying and you don’t know why?

I give praises to newly mothers, especially ones that have babies or children with birth defects. I also want to praise all the mothers that try their best, when they think their best isn’t good enough.

You moms are doing amazing!

It’s good to hear a good thing or too. To me, it makes me feel inspired and more confident to shoot for the stars.

But the one thing that I always do, when I’m feeling depressed or down, I talk to someone. Whether it is a friend, family member, or my fiance. I talk to someone. I rather people know what’s going on, versus keeping it all locked inside. As much as I sometimes would rather not talk to anyone, I know that I should.

If you are a mom, who’s struggling with depression or ‘baby blues’, talk to someone or talk to your doctor, they can give you some medication that will make it easier for you to handle. As much as some people don’t like taking medications, I am one of those people, it does work.

I am always an open ear. Seriously, if you need someone to talk to, go to my Contact page and send me a message. It’s better to open up to someone, rather than no one.

To all those moms, you keep doing what you are doing, better days are sure to come.

*If you really need help and need to talk to someone or a medical professionally, click on the link below. It gives a list of hotlines and explains depression in depth. The hotline is there and is completely anonymous.

https://www.mentalhelp.net/articles/depression-hotline/

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Dealing With Family Drama

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Drama is very difficult to avoid or stay away from. It’s its apart of our life, no matter what. Whether you are single or are in a relationship, drama is sure to find you.

Especially, if you are a parent and have children. However you decide how to raise your children, there will always be someone who talks behind you back about how much they really don’t like how you raise your children.

For me, I’ve got drama everywhere I look. In our house, if we have a problem, we sit down and deal with it and then move on. However, on both sides of our family, there are a few family members that haven’t really grown up yet, even with children.

Which, for me, I’ve grown up a lot, and I’m only 20. Losing my son, made me realize that I life is short and that we should make each day worth living for. It also made me realize that I’m too mature, even though sometimes I don’t act mature, that I don’t want to be around the drama.

I will admit that I am nosey, if it is about anyone else. Everyone can be nosey at some point in their life. You may or may not admit it, but it’s true.

What I am really getting at is that sometimes, the drama can children in the middle of it. I’m talking about when the adults get into an agruement and they ignore each other, preventing the children from bonding and creating a friendly relationship.

It makes me feel sad that cousins can’t have a good bond, like I do with my cousins, because one or the other parents have issues with a agruement.

I think that drama should be let back in high school. You either need to suck it up, buttercup. Or take you and the drama that follows, back to high school, where it belongs!

Families need to stick together through thick and thin. If you can’t get over an issue between your family members, think about your children and how it would effect them because the children should be the first thing that is thought about, not what issues you have with your family.

Unless, you are like me, and have that one person that did something really bad to you, that you don’t even want them to be in your or your childs life. Keep in mind, and I always have, it is your choice on who you want in your life and your childrens life.

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Mother’s Day vs. Father’s Day

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I know its a day behind, but I wanted to say Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms, moms-to-be, step-moms, and all the other moms who stepped up when the dad didn’t.

A lot of mom’s think that because it is Mother’s Day, they will have a clean house, don’t have to do dishes, or laundry. For some families, they do that or they make breakfast in bed for their moms.

I wanted to talk about the real meaning of Mother’s Day. It’s not just for mom’s, its for all the woman that acted like a mother or was a mother to you in your lifetime. I also want to say that Mother’s Day is a day for the mother’s and that Father’s Day is for the father’s.

There are tons of mom’s that are single and play both parts, but Mother’s Day is for all the mom’s, whether you loss a baby, had a miscarriage, or adopted a child, that day is for you.

What really upsets me, is that single moms or moms who play both roles of mom and dad, think that Father’s Day is about them too. NO. Just no. Father’s Day is for all the fathers or dads, not for those moms who play both parts.

For example, I’m going to use my family as an example. I don’t speak or talk to my father because he was never a real father to my siblings and I. He has always been in and out of our lives that I don’t considered to say anything on Father’s Day.

My mom has been raising us and caring for us since day one. My father does it when he feels that he needs to be, not when he should be, which would be all the time. That’s why I don’t tell my father, Happy Father’s Day. I say it to my mom’s dad because he was there for my siblings and I when my father wasn’t.

Anyway, Happy Mother’s Day to all the MOTHER’S out there, this is your day, NOT Father’s Day.

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Being or Becoming Engaged

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Being or become engaged to your significant other is a huge step in any relationship. It’s a promise that you are going to one day,  going to marry the person that you plan on spending the rest of your life with.

I am currently engaged. My fiance proposed to me last year on Christmas Day. We have been together for almost 4 years. We have been through a lot during those years. Losing our son bought us closer than ever before. I’ve never been more happier in my life.

Anyway, the reason why I wanted to bring up the topic of engagement, was that I wanted to talk to you about was how long should you be engaged for.

As soon as we got engaged, I started thinking of a date, which we planned on getting married in 2020. Ever since then, I have been thinking of colors, themes, what my dress will be, who will be my bride maids, etc. I’ve always wanted to get married to the love of my life, so when he finally popped the question, I have been so excited to plan our wedding.

When some people get engaged, they might wait a year or two, maybe to save up for the wedding or waiting until they are able to take the time off, anything, but if you have been engaged for more than 5 years, people can start to question why.

I completely understand if you are trying to save up money on a wedding, don’t get me wrong, but weddings are very expensive, but when people started to ask why, I think of many this person isn’t ready to make that commitment or they don’t want to make the plans of a wedding.

There could be so many reasons why. Some people get engaged or plan on getting married for the kids, which you shouldn’t do, you should marry because you love the person you are with.

I grew up in a home with my mother was always unhappy because she was married to my father. It took her 11 years to finally stand up and want to find happiness. My parents got divorced and my mother has been so much more joyful, that was almost 7 years ago. My mother felt that she had to stay because of the fact that she wanted to keep our family together.

She didn’t want us kids to grow up in a broken home, but she knew that she didn’t want us to grow up with parents who were happy, too. So she made a change. My mother married my father because, yes she was in love with him, but they also had me too. She married and stayed with my father because of us kids.

If you aren’t ready to take that next step to get married, then you should talk to your love one and talk about why you don’t want to get married. For me, I only want to get married once and I think a lot of people only want to get married once.

A lot of people are pressured into married their significant other because of family or friends. You shouldn’t marry anyone you know that you don’t want to spend the rest of your life with. It should be because you are madly in love with your significant other, you love all their flaws and looks, but most of all, you see a future with them.

 

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Teething

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Usually, I have been able to post a blog a day, but at the moment, my 6 month old is going through the favorite and fun stages of teething. So, I figured I talk about something that every mom has to go through with their kids.

Teething, is very frustrating for not just baby, but for mommy too. About a week ago, my daughter, she was on her normal schedule and was fine, chewing and putting everything in her mouth like a baby will do, but this week. She has been teething bad!

Because of the teething, it is throwing her way off schedule. She has been eating less and has been taking longer naps. I am one of those moms that has to have a schedule planned out, I have an app on my phone that helps me track her feeding, diapers, and sleep patterns.

It makes me nervous because she has had weight problems in the past, but the doctor says that it is totally normal for her to not eat as much because of teething. Since, her gums and jaw hurt a lot, its difficult for her to want to eat. Since I’m new to this stage, I freaked out.

And of course, I know what you are thinking. You asked Google, didn’t you? Yep. I did and it turns out other moms had the same issue when it come to teething. I was really relieved. Just reading about another mom struggle or freak out about a new stage and got help from other moms, it really helped me out.

But, this is only the beginning of teething. Here we go, just about two more years of this, until she’s got all of her teeth. So not ready for this, but at least I know that I am not the only one struggling on it.

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Struggles With Weight Loss

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After you have a child, you still have the extra ‘baby fat’, as people would like to call it. But, for me, it’s completely different. I have struggled with weight loss for a very long time.

I’ve been considered ‘overweight’ ever since I was in middle school. I always got picked on and judged on how I looked that I never had any self esteem to get me motivated enough to really change.

I’ve been brought down by doctors, friends, and even some family, because of my weight. I’ve never really been motivate to find some exercise or a better diet that I feel comfortable changing or trying to do. I was one of those girls that would rather play video games than go outside.

High school, I grew to except it, but I wasn’t truly happy. I didn’t want to be thin like a toothpick. I wanted to lose the belly fat. The muffin top that made me feel like nothing would ever fit me because of it. I would change my clothes more than I could remember because I felt like I didn’t look good in them.

Until, I met my fiance. He made me fell like no matter what size I was, I was still beautiful. He helped me see past the muffin top. After having our daughter, I still have the muffin top. I’m a stay-at-home mom, it’s been difficult to do anything because I’m usually so tired in the morning and in the afternoon.

So I looked up what I could do to help me get rid of this muffin top, and keep it off, for good.

I looked up different exercises and challenges that I could try and I spotted the 30-Day Squat Challenge. I started it last Sunday, but I already notice a difference. My pants, that didn’t fit me, are slowly starting to fit me. I’m already starting to look a little smaller than I did.

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This is the Squat Challenge that I am doing. Just in case anyone is ready to make a change, just like I am.

I’m become proud of myself and excited that I’m finally doing, what took me years, to do. I want to feel what it’s like to be able to pick out clothes that actually fit, for once. I want people to notice me and not just my body size. I want to be able to love me for me.

I just started week 2 and I feel excited to do my squats every morning. I want to see if I can really finish this. I’m ready to make a change, a healthier change for not just my family, but for me.

 

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Making Time For You

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As a stay-at-home mom, I’m with my daughter 24/7. A lot of moms can’t do it because they want the social interaction. I’m one of those that if you don’t message me or call me, I rarely will text someone other than my mother or fiance.

Growing up, I never had many friends, especially now, I don’t even have a best friend, but I’m not sad anymore because she was very toxic to my life.

Anyway, I haven’t left my daughter with anyone or let her spend the night with any family members. My daughter is only 6 months old and I don’t feel comfortable enough for me to leave her with anyone yet.

It’s not that I don’t trust the family members that I would leave her with, its just some of them do not respect how I am raising my daughter. Don’t get me wrong, they mean well, but some of what they did when their kids were younger, is something that I wouldn’t do.

You are probably thinking in your head, ‘What do you do if you want some time for you if you don’t feel comfortable leaving your daughter with anyone?’. Well, what I do, is once my daughter is asleep, I’ll go out in my living room, listening it, if she screams. Either I will finish up cleaning up the house or I will relax by watching Netflix or playing video games.

Sometimes, I’ll crochet and knit or watch videos on YouTube. Or anything else that I will be able to relax, but that isn’t too loud to wake her up. Some days, I just want to read, but I usually start to fall asleep.

If you are one of those moms that can leave your children in the care of your family, they go get some time for you! Doing it every once in a while, is not bad to do, but if you are partying every night, just to escape to be a parent. If you do that, I’m not judging, but if your parting comes first, before your children, maybe you would’ve thought twice about having kids.

Us moms do need a break. I have one day that I have my fiance take care of our daughter, so that I can get stuff done or work on anything that needs to be worked on. It’s not bad to take a break, just don’t make it more important than your children.

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Losing Friends

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A lot of things change once you have a baby. Not only does your life change, but sometimes your friends too. They might be excited when your pregnant, but once the baby is born and you don’t have time to spend with them, things changed.

You might even drop some friends in the process. Not because they weren’t good friends, but maybe you were more mature and didn’t want to deal with their drama?

That’s how it was for me.

I have kept so many people in my life, that caused me so much drama and problems, but I should’ve been clearing them from my life and focusing what would be best for my family.

Today, I cleaned the list up, the one person I first called my ‘best friend’. I’ve known her since 8th grade. We went to high school together, had lunch together, but didn’t hang out as much like we should’ve.

We both have been through enough, but I was always there for her. As time went on, I knew that everything I was telling her, my opinion or suggestions, was going out the window. Then I realized that this was who she was:

She was unwanted drama.

Everything that I had tried to help her on, always became into drama. Now, I’m not the friend who tells you what you want to hear, I tell you what I think. She didn’t like it, but knows how blunt I can be.

After all the drama that she’s caused, I had to drop her. I sent her one last messaged and blocked her from everything. She was the only real friend I had in high school, but it was time to grow up and move on. So that’s what I did.

I was getting to mature to deal with all the ‘high school’ drama that she was starting. One after another, I was overwhelmed with drama. Not mine, with hers. I did it because I thought it was best for me.

Sometimes you have to do something you really don’t want to do, but once you have a family, you have to answer the one question that you will answer over and over again:

What is best for my family?

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I chose to do what is best. Not because I wanted to, but because I needed to. It was what was best for my little family.

‘A friend can always be replaced, but family is irreplaceable.’ – Unknown