Tag: marriage

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: The Dating World of 2024

Posted on by Katie Night

Hey Dearies! I wanted to bring up something that I’m having trouble with, but some pointers I wanted to bring up if you are a newly single. Whether your a single parent, just got out of a long relationship, or have been single for awhile, but just started looking, this might be good information to know!

Now, for all of you who have been following me since the very beginning, I decided to leave my children’s father back in 2021. I didn’t start dating again until 6 months after I had left him. A lot of people asked why I didn’t just jump right into and it was because I wanted to work on myself.

I wanted to make sure that I loved myself before I jumped into another relationship. However, I felt like I had to start putting myself out there. I also had a few people that were pushing me to get out there as well.

I was expecting the dating world to be back before I first met the father of my children. Back when it was 2014. Oh no, things had really changed this time since I first went back on dating sites.

First, Facebook had a dating part that they had added and that’s where I first started. I met a few guys that I had really great conversations. Most of them would ghost me or never talk to me after saying ‘hello’. Other guys weren’t really there for meeting anyone to build a relationship, just hook ups. Then there were the few guys that actually caught my heart and shredded it down to practically nothing.

At the end of 2021, I did find someone I really started to fall for and started dating him. I’m not going to go into complete details, but he was the one that got away. It also didn’t help that life happened and I didn’t really know how to handle it. We tried rekindling it back last year, but he had his life that he had a lot going on.

Anyway, I decided in March to give this dating thing another try and this time my walls would be up no matter what. However, I still have hope for that one guy he will come running back into my life so we can try again, but as the saying goes, “If you love someone, let them go. If they come back to you, it was meant to be, if not, it never was.”

So, nowadays, I’m focused on building a friendship with some of the guys I’ve been talking to. I don’t want to rush into anything and I know what I’m looking for, but I am keeping an eye out for the red flags.

Here are a few Red Flags you should keep in mind:

–No Job or Can’t Keep a Job– This is a HUGE red flag. My more recent ex had this issue and I lost a LOT of money because I was supporting him. I learned my lesson on that. Even if they wanted to borrow $20 bucks here and there, don’t do it. Trust me, it adds up faster than you think.

–No Car/No License– This is a red flag for me because I live in Maine and in order to go anywhere, you really need to have a car. I have nothing against those that don’t have a car or license, but please don’t date people just because they will cart you around.

It’s one thing if you are taking an Uber or taxi to meet up with them, but it’s another thing to demand them to bring you here or there. Keep this in mind, the first time you tell someone you will give them a ride, they will always think you will give them a ride.

–Separated/In a Open Relationship– This one is tricky because all situations are different. I feel that if you still are married, you shouldn’t be dating until your divorce is final, but that is just me. I also am not a fan of “open relationships”. I know that people’s opinions have changed on that, but I’m against it completely. When I’m in a relationship with a guy, I don’t want him to share me or me to have to share him.

Nothing against those who are in an open relationship. If it works for you or for your situation, great! I don’t think I could handle it very well, emotionally.

–Love Bombing – I didn’t even know this was an actual red flag, but it is! I really hate to bring it back to my more current ex, but he did the same thing to me. Pretty much all the time he would call be “beautiful” to the point that the word meant nothing. He would also use this whenever we got into an argument, he would change the subject into complimenting me instead of talking about the issue at hand. If you don’t know what “love bombing” is, it is when someone frequently attempts to influence another person with over-the-top displays of attention and affection.

–Not Respecting Your Bountries – This is a huge red flag, if they can’t respect your bountries, that shows that they have no respect for you. Granted, in the beginning of a relationship is learning what each other bountries are. That is why if you let them know what your bountries are at the begining, you can tell right away if they will respect them or not. I had an ex that got mad at me for hanging out with my best friend for one night, just because I didn’t include him.

–They Want You To Always Put Them First – If you have children, you would understand that when it comes to a new relationship, you and your kids come first. It brings us back to situtation I talked about before. That ex wanted me to put him on the thrown, honestly, he is in most of these red flags, I should just write about how awful the experience really was.

–Talk Badly About Ex’s/Or Still Talking To Their Ex’s – So, I can’t say that I haven’t talked badly about an ex since as you can see from this post, however, I’m not one of those that goes onto the internet and blasts them by name. If they can talk badly about their ex or say all their ex’s are crazy without explaining why, that is a problem to be aware of.

What is even more of a red flag is still talking or being friends with an ex. Depending on the situation, I will keep an open mind. If you have a baby daddy or baby mommy, that is a different situation since you are communicating about the kids. That’s the relationship I have with my daughter’s father, its strictly about our daughter.

–Drug/Alcohol Problem – This is another huge red flag to keep in mind because they will tend to put their “habit” first. There’s nothing wrong with having a social drink every now and then, but if they need it constantly or all the time, that is a problem.

–Bad Feeling/Gut Feeling – You know your body better than anyone else does, but if there is something off or fishy about the person you are talking to, trust your gut! Most of us want to listen with our hearts or heads, but sometimes its better to listen to your gut first.

If you aren’t sure, talk about it with friends or family. They would be the first one to notice the red quicker than you would. Especially, if you are so into them. You don’t have to listen to them, but its always good to get a 3rd party’s advice of the situation.

–No Social Media/Different Name for Social Media – Okay, so this one isn’t really a red flag, but it really depends who you ask on this. My last ex had a different name on his Facebook. I really didn’t think anything of it until I found out there was a bigger reason why he didn’t give out his full name. It’s okay for someone to not want to have a social media presence, but if they can’t seem to tell you their true name, really look into why that is.

There could be a number of reasons why, but if you start out talking to them and right at the bat they give you a fake name, that’s a red flag. The reason why I say this, is because they are hiding something from you. Whether they have a double life or have been in trouble with the law, this is something you want to pay attention to. Especially, if you plan on having your kids meet them after going out with them for some time.

–Ignoring You/Taking Longer to Reply – This one, I really had a lot of issues when it came to them taking either days to reply. However, I have finally understand that if someone likes you enough to talk to you, they will. If they don’t or have excuses as to why they haven’t replied back to you, take the hint that they aren’t interested in you.

It’s one thing if they are at work or in the middle of doing something and they give you a heads up that they are busy and will talk to you later. Its another thing if they are straight up ignoring you and you see that they are active or they posted on their story or Facebook.

Don’t waste your time waiting for a reply. My rule is if they don’t reply back to you within 24-28 hours, move on to the next one. Everyone checks their phone more than once a day, so there isn’t really an excuse as to why they can’t reply to you.

–They Don’t Want To Meet In Public/Wants You To Meet At Their House – The first meeting with someone you met online, it should be in public. The reason why I say this is because of the fact that if you feel uncomfortable or the person is starting to creep you out, you can get outta there faster.

Most of the time, if a guy/girl are asking you to meet at their place, it usually means they just want to hook up. Not for everyone, but most of the time its usually that reason.

Another key thing to keep in mind, is that if you go on a date with someone in public, let a friend or family member know where you are, just in case something goes wrong. Or even have a friend at the location with you watching from a distance, so if there is something wrong or off about your date, you can text them to let them know, that way your still safe.

Overall, the best way to handle the dating world is think of it as a battlefield. The problem with today’s dating world is that there are too many apps, tons of being ghosted, and no one really looking for something real anymore.

Posted in Books, Reviews

Book Review: Game Of Thrones (Book 1)

Posted on by Katie Night

Hey Dearies! So, as I’ve been getting back into reading, I started to read the infamous GOT books, I got them after the show had already aired, but that’s what usually happens when a book gets turned into a series or movie, either you read it before it turned into a live-action or you find out after the fact.

To me, the only series that I have read before they wanted to release a T.V. series or live-action was the House of Night Series, but those books will be for another time and its a rumor that I’m not 100% sure if they are doing or not.

Anyway, back to GOT. If you haven’t already seen this series, it’s about castles, dragons, kingdoms, but more suited for adults. The first book follows really closely with the first season, as I was reading this, I was also watching an episode that followed what I had read.

WARNING: Spoilers to come! Don’t read forward if you don’t want me to spoil it for you!

The first thing I want to say is that, if you are a fan of the series, they did a really good job of following the book, but to me, the book was really hard to get into because I’m not really used to reading books like this, meaning it does have a lot of big words and it took me a little bit longer to get into, but once Ned becomes the hand, it’s a lot easier.

The way the book is set up is that every chapter is a different person’s point-of-view. The best part is that chapters aren’t in a cycle, they are very random, first, you’ll be reading about Ned, then you’ll jump to Jon or Dany.

About halfway through the book, King Robert, who goes out hunting and ends up getting hurt badly, he dies in the first season and in the book. I was getting a little bit worry that he still wasn’t dead, but you have to remember, the book always has more detail than the T.V. Show.

I do want to say, after watching the series before reading the book and then watching the episodes that occur from what I read in the book, it really helped me to understand who the characters were and what the story is about.

Now that I’m rewatching the series as I read them, it does help me when I’m going through and reading each of the books. Which if you didn’t know, there are 5 books in the Game Of Thrones series.

So, for once, one of the books is spot on to the, I would say the first season of GOT. What did you think about the book? Have you read it or were you like me and found out after the fact? Let me know below!

Also, I want to note that these books take a lot of time to finish, so please be patient for me to get through the second book!

Posted in Writing Works

The Black Widow’s Partner In Crime (Friday’s Short Stories)

Posted on by Katie Night

*Just letting all of you know that I really don’t know where this idea came from. I started the beginning of this story when I was tipsy (thanks to the bud lite strawberrita’s I had the night before), and I ended up finishing this story the next morning. I’m sorry if this is a weird story, but hey, a weird story is an interesting story.*

By: Katie Night

Andrea sat at the bar, with a drink in hand. She had been siting at the bar for about 20 minutes, nothing had sparked her attention. Her last husband had been gone for about a month, before she started to crave for another man’s affection.

He had a heart attack and thought that he was the one for her. She thought that she was going to spend the rest of her life with him. Making memories, having children, and growing old together.

She just wanted someone to love her for her. She looked up at the bartender, as he poured her another shot. It burned in the back of her throat, but made it so she could hold back the tears she wan’t to let loose. She checked her phone, once more, looking at her flip phone that had a picture of her and her late husband.

Another 5 minutes had passed and she was getting tired of sitting, waiting for someone to approach her. It was like they knew she had lost her husband and that they were avoiding her like the plague. She struggled her shoulders and downed the rest of her drink, when she felt someone sit down next to her.

“Can I by you a drink?” The man wearing a business suit asked, as she looked at him in shock. She turned and looked around to see if he had might off meant to talk to someone else, but it was only them sitting at the bar.

She moved her hair behind her ear and smiled. “Sure.” He then turned to the bartender and he quickly made a drink.

“So, what is a beautiful lady like you doing in a bar alone?” He asked. She took a slip, waiting him to say more, but she was speak less. She didn’t think anyone would come and approached her tonight.

“It’s better than being home alone.” She responded. He moved his grey-black hair back and placed his hand on hers. She froze, not knowing what he would do.

“You are still alone, aren’t you?” He asked once more. She wondered if he was trying to hit on her, but she couldn’t tell. Although, he noticed that him asking questions about her, bothered her, he pulled his hand away. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be so demanding on questioning you.”

She shrugged her shoulders. She started to feel the alcohol hitting her, making her more relaxed and able to more flirty. “I was really waiting for you to ask me what my name was.” She smirked as his lips formed a small smile. “Andrea.”

She held her hand out as did he, shaking hands. “Kevin.” She felt something different about Kevin. She couldn’t tell what it was, but his aurora said something else. He had a dark soul, but with little room for love. She still wanted to know what was different about him that made him approach her?

The rest of the night, they talked. Nothing, but talked. She told him about her college days, as he told her about the late nights he was doing surgery. By the time they noticed what time it was, the bar was about to close up for the night. Kevin walked Andrea to her car and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

Andrea heart had warmed up with excitement and passion. She didn’t want to stop seeing him again. Kevin was all she could think about. The only question she had for him was why her? There were a few other ladies at the bar, but he chose her. She tossed and turned all night long, over thinking about Kevin.

 

The next night, Kevin, met up with her at her house. They could resist themselves and had to have themselves, right on her kitchen table, the one that her and Jeff had picked out after they got married.

She was lost in the moment, forgot about that table, her late husband, and everything else. The only thing she could think of was how much thrill she was having. making love to a stranger on her husband’s table. The look in Kevin’s eyes during the act of affection. It burned in her mind.

Once they were done, a small idea popped in her head. She gave Kevin a smirk, but he had no idea what she was thinking, or so she thought. Kevin picked up her clothes and threw them at her.

“Don’t even think about playing me, sweetheart.” He spoke and Andrea’s eye’s widened. How could he know what she was thinking? She threw her dress over her head, forgetting about her undergarments.

“How did you-” She tired to speak, but he interrupted her.

“I can read your thoughts and I know what you were thinking.” Kevin spoke as he slowly walked towards her. The only thing she noticed, was his eyes, even though, he was half-naked in front of her, his eyes scared her the most. “I love how your mind thinks, Andrea. I bet if we stick together, we can do exactly what you are thinking, to a couple of rich suckers.”

 

After that night, Andrea and Kevin worked hand in hand, roping in rich idiots that married Andrea, but they wouldn’t last a week in that house. Kevin grew angry whenever anyone else touched Andrea and would kill the new husband, before the end of the week.

The would make love to each other, with the money that the late husband had left for her the night before. No one noticed what was going on. Kevin would admit the late husbands in for surgery, but they would never make it.

Andrea loved to do it for the thrills. She loved the fact that another man touched her, Kevin would rip him apart. She wanted some to want her so bad, that he would kill any man that touched. her.

Once another one of her husbands had passed, she tried to wait as long as she could, but her cravings for affection always came back. She would go out to wealthy bars, sit and wait, until another sucker wanted to give her the world. She would play off sweet and simple, before getting them so drunk, she would mention to get married.

Those late husbands of Andrea, would fall so hard for her, they always said yes and then married her that same night. Once they would come home for their ‘honeymoon’, Kevin would be waiting.

Andrea and Kevin thought that this was something they would keep on doing forever until, people started to notice the pattern, they were leaving behind. The head of the police department, Steve Jones, had started to look into the case. He watched, from his car for weeks, as multiple men would enter that house alive, but would leave in a body bag.

There was only one man that came and go as he pleased. The head of the surgery department Kevin Rosevelt. He was one of the very known surgeons in the department, that even received an award for donating money to big charity events. It puzzled Jones’ to why he was doing this or what he was getting out of this?

“Dr. Rosevelt, good to see you again.” Jones said as he approached Kevin in the hospital, after the last husband of Andrea Whites’ had died. They shook hands and Kevin gave him a smile.

“You too, Steve. What brings you here?” Kevin asked as he was questionable about the reasoning to why he was here. He figured it was for another award or another patient was a officer.

They both sat down as Jones’ laid them down a few files on his desk. “I wanted to ask you a few questions on these missing men. Some of them you operated on and I just wanted to know how those surgeries went.”

Kevin looked through the files, there were about 6 different men in each of the files, 4 of them, he operated on. He stayed calm, as he had a feeling Jones’ was onto him.

“I only operated on 4 of these men, Jones’, why are these two in the same pile? I’ve never had them for patients either.” Kevin said, giving the files back to Jones’, hoping Jones’ would by them and move on.

“Do you have any relations with Mrs. Andrea White?” Jones asked. Kevin stood puzzled to him, wondering how he knew.

“She is one of my friends. Why are you questioning me about her?” Jones knew right away that if he told Kevin about the investigation, they would either flee the town or kill him.

“We are just asking because she has gotten married to these men and they happened to all of died within the week of them getting married. You operated on 4 of them and called time of death on the other 2. We just making sure that they have been dying of natural causes and not being murdered.” Jones explained. He didn’t wished he didn’t give so much information to him, but he hoped that maybe, he would confess or prove that he didn’t kill these women.

Kevin threw a hand in his face and then took the filed back. Looking through each of them again. He pulled the first man, Lance Drotter, he was a wealthy business man, but he only lasted three days when he was with Andrea.

“Mr. Lance Drotter, he came in, not breathing, we tried to bring him back, but nothing worked, so we called time of death at 15:23. Further look into his death, he had a stroke. Mrs. White had no idea of his medical history until she brought him to the hospital.”

Kevin threw that file down in front of Jones’, as his pager was going off. ” I wish I could go into detail even more, but I have to head down to the ER, so I’ll make it quick with the other cases.” He spoke. “Carl Jenson, alcohol poisoning. Gregory John, blood clot stopped his heart. Mattew Carter, came in unresponsive due to suicide attempt. Donald Heath, liver failure. Last but not least, Parker Adams, brain dead on the table. Happy now?”

Kevin rushed out of his office and Jones’ sensed that talking about these men upset him. Not only did he have the ER to worry about, but something about these deaths, Jones’ could tell it bothered him very much.

Jones’ wondered if he would get Andrea to talk some more, since Kevin didn’t give out too much information. He left the hospital, with the files of the dead 6 men. He figured he would look back into the files to see if he missed any more information.

 

Kevin knew Jones’ was onto him, he quickly got out of his office and went to one of the empty on call rooms. He dialed Andrea’s number, as quick as he could. “When do you want me at the hospital?” Andrea answered with, he would usually call her for her to spend some time with him in the on call room.

“Get out of the house with your stuff, the cops are on to us.” Kevin snapped as Andrea stayed silent. “We need to get out of here as soon as we can because Jones’ is going to be headed to your house now.”

“I already have the bag packed. You want me to take the SUV?” She replied as that car wouldn’t be detected by the cops right away.

“Yes, then go to the bank, take everything out of the accounts. I’ll meet you at the bank and we will leave.” Kevin said as he feared that she wouldn’t be able to take everything out of the bank right off.

“I’ll come and get you first. If I go to the bank first, they will figured it out. We need to go to the bank in the next town over.” Andrea paused for a second. “I’ll be there in 5 minutes. I’m going to throw my phone in the lake on the way to get you. I love you.”

They bother hung up and Kevin rushed to grab other stuff from his desk.

 

Andrea quickly got into the SUV and then opened the garage, there was Jones, waiting for her. He wouldn’t move, so she ran him over. After, that she just kept driving, hoping that no one noticed she did a hit an run. Once she reached to the hospital, Kevin quickly jumped into the car and planted a kiss on her lips.

“Go, I just got a call from the hospital that they are doing a locked down.” Kevin said as Andrea stepped on the gas. The drove and drove for hours, Andrea felt that nothing could stop them, once they left town and reached the other bank.

They quickly went in and out of the bank, cashing out their accounts and cards, making it so the cops couldn’t trace their whereabouts. Kevin took over driving. They kept driving and driving, as they heard the sirens on their tail. Andrea never felt so much thrill in her entire life.

She was wanted. So, wasn’t Kevin. She was called the ‘Black Widow’. Kevin and her stayed low, but when they arrived in a new town, the craving for a wealthy man passed her mind and she couldn’t help herself.

She would sit at the bar, and waited patiently for their next victim.