Hey Deaires, it has been a while. Yes, you read it right, I had my first relationship since being single for almost a year, and boy did it not go well. I will have to say that this must have been my rebound because I didn’t feel the spark.
You know that spark you get when you are with someone and you know they are the person you should be with. I haven’t felt that spark since being with my daughter, before I struggled with my depression.
This guy I dated for a few months, it was different, but the longer I was with him, the more I didn’t want to be with him. This was only about a few weeks ago, but I could breathe for once in my life. Ending it with him, I didn’t feel hurt or upset, I felt fine.
I didn’t want to lead him on to think that there was something there when there really wasn’t. Plus it was too much for me, he was anyway.
Ever since then, my mind has been running and bringing up old memories that I used to have with my daughter’s father. Plus it breaks my heart to see everyone else around me with their happy families and I’m just sitting here alone.
Just so everyone knows, I didn’t leave him because I didn’t love him, I left to get my life back on track, which I’ve been doing and I’m really proud of myself for it. I’m in a lot better place than I was last year.
Like I said, I don’t know what the future holds, but I’m not opposed to second chances and clean slates.
At this point, I’m just going to focus on my daughter and I. If a relationship happens, I’m not going to waste my time, I want to be done searching and just get married have another kid or two and just spend the rest of my life living it and enjoying it.
Who knows what will happen now.