Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Done With Dating

Hey Deaires, it has been a while. Yes, you read it right, I had my first relationship since being single for almost a year, and boy did it not go well. I will have to say that this must have been my rebound because I didn’t feel the spark.

You know that spark you get when you are with someone and you know they are the person you should be with. I haven’t felt that spark since being with my daughter, before I struggled with my depression.

This guy I dated for a few months, it was different, but the longer I was with him, the more I didn’t want to be with him. This was only about a few weeks ago, but I could breathe for once in my life. Ending it with him, I didn’t feel hurt or upset, I felt fine.

I didn’t want to lead him on to think that there was something there when there really wasn’t. Plus it was too much for me, he was anyway.

Ever since then, my mind has been running and bringing up old memories that I used to have with my daughter’s father. Plus it breaks my heart to see everyone else around me with their happy families and I’m just sitting here alone.

Just so everyone knows, I didn’t leave him because I didn’t love him, I left to get my life back on track, which I’ve been doing and I’m really proud of myself for it. I’m in a lot better place than I was last year.

Like I said, I don’t know what the future holds, but I’m not opposed to second chances and clean slates.

At this point, I’m just going to focus on my daughter and I. If a relationship happens, I’m not going to waste my time, I want to be done searching and just get married have another kid or two and just spend the rest of my life living it and enjoying it.

Who knows what will happen now.

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Dating Is Completely Different As A Mom

Hey Dearies! I figure I would give you guys another life sort of update, trust me, I haven’t found ‘the one’, not yet anyway. I felt ready to start dating about a few months ago, since my ex moved on, I figured it wouldn’t hurt to put myself out there for once.

So, I did what most people do when they are ready to start dating again, I joined a dating app. Let me say, the dating game has changed so much since I was last single, which was almost 7 years ago. I’ll be honest, it was nice to have the attention that I was lacking.

I’ve met a few guys, but most of them were either looking for a piece of ass or didn’t know what they wanted. One of the first guys that I started talking to, I thought there was a real connection, he said the things that he knew I wanted to hear, long story short, I started to have feelings for him, but I guess he didn’t want me and ended up blocking me, without saying a word.

Gentlemen, I just want to give you advice, we women would rather you tell us that you aren’t interested than block us. It not only shows that you have respect for us but shows us that you cared enough to not lead us on. I would rather a guy be honest with me than silent. This other guy that I talked to ignored me for months and basically made me feel like I had done something wrong.

Overall, I’m taking it slow and trying to not put my entire heart and soul with anyone, unless they are going to do the same for me. I will say that over this past year, I’ve learned a lot about myself and still learning who I want to me.

Yes, it would be nice to have someone to be with, where you can go to them when you are troubled or just need someone to hold you and just be there for you mentally, emotionally, and physically. Before you can learn to love someone else, you have to learn to love and expect yourself for who you are.

I think with time, I’ll be able to find someone who will not only love me for me, but someone I can be my silly, weird, goofball self with. Someone who will expect my daughter as their own and who wants to grow with me.