Tag: abuse

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: How I Dated a Walking-Talking Red Flag

Posted on by Katie Night

Hey Dearies!

I know this post is overdue, but last year, I talked about how difficult it is to be single and dating nowadays and most of the red flags I ran into were because of one particular ex of mind. Now, since it’s been over a year since I last had to deal with him, I figured it was time to talk about how bad the relationship really was.

I’m not going to use his real name, so for the sake of this post, we are going to call him Ronnie or “Red-Flag Ronnie”, which fits him perfectly. Now, let’s get into this mess of a relationship that only lasted 3 months.

So, I first met Ronnie on Facebook Dating. I don’t remember who swiped on who first, but he was the one who sent the first message wanting to talk through texting. Which I usually have no problem doing, but looking back now, he didn’t want me to have his socials.

Anyway, the first day of texting, he really didn’t impress me right off. The conversation was going well until he mentioned wanting to do sexual stuff. To me, if that’s the first thing you want to have a conversation about when we just started talking, you aren’t looking for something serious.

Of course, whenever a guy starts the conversation out like that, I ignore them or move on to the next one. However, I decided this time to give Ronnie the benefit of the doubt, but boy did I know what I would be dealing with.

So, we continued to talk, and not even a week later, he was already asking me to borrow money. The first time was so that his phone service wouldn’t get shut off so we could still text and then it was “I don’t have money for food” or “I need a couple bucks to get me a vape pen”. Even though I was giving him little amounts here and there, boy does it add up.

Then we planned to meet for the first time, but he didn’t have a way to get to me unless he took the bus. Want to guess who paid for the bus ticket? Shocker, I know. I even had to pick him up at the bus stop too. Apparently, he totaled his truck and couldn’t pay to get it back up and running, but had his license.

Meeting him in person for the first time, I honestly enjoyed it and didn’t notice any other red flags at the time. Of course, we made it official, but when I asked if he wanted to make it Facebook official, he didn’t want to do it.

That honestly should’ve been another red flag, especially since the name that he used on Facebook wasn’t his actual name. Not to mention, he wouldn’t even friend me on Facebook, which I thought was also odd. If you were dating someone, wouldn’t you want to show that you are with someone? I mean, I do.

So, once we had the first weekend together, I thought everything was great. I waited until the next weekend I didn’t have my daughter, for him to come back down, but the second time he visited, he was glued to playing my gaming PC. All he did most of that weekend was play Rust, trying to get me into it which I honestly couldn’t do.

Pretty much you can guess that almost every time he came down after that, spent playing on my gaming laptop. I would even ask if he could spend time with me and when I was able to get him off my gaming laptop, he was glued to his phone. It was a nightmare getting him to do anything with me unless he wanted to do it too.

Then there was the time when it was a weekend we weren’t seeing each other and he randomly texted me that he possibly got someone pregnant. Now, I wish I would’ve dumped him right there and then. I don’t know why I didn’t, but he told me it was a “false alarm” the next time I was able to see him again.

Then he claimed he needed a place to stay because of his current living situation, his “roommates” were all moving out and so he asked if he could stay with us. I agreed as long as he got a job and was giving money towards the bills and food. This man, I swear you not, got a job and then quit a day later because he called out on his second day.

Instead of job searching, while I was working, he was playing on my gaming laptop all day and all hours of the day and night. Then would sleep, eat, and repeat. Until one of my family members offered him another job and he finally was working, but I had checked out of the relationship.

I think he could sense that the end was near because he even tried to get me to start looking at apartments for us to live in. I had told him no because I wasn’t going to be the only one that was paying for everything, especially when he couldn’t keep a job.

He even told me through text messaged that he supposedly loved me and got mad when I didn’t say it back. I only say the “I love you”, when I mean it and I would never do it in text message. I didn’t love him and I wasn’t going to say it back or be forced to say it back because he did.

When I had enough, I wrote him something, the one time he was actually working, explaining that it was over. I wanted to get all my thoughts on paper to figure out what I wanted to say. He kinda had a sense of that and asked what was wrong. All I told him was that I had written something down for him, and immediately, he asked “Is it a break-up letter?”.

I told him we could talk about it later since I didn’t want to mention it while he was working. He then kept asking and I finally just told him. Apparently, I made him cry at work over it. Well, you asked and didn’t want to wait until later.

It was pretty awkward when he got back from work and he read my letter. He sent me what he was feeling in a text message thinking that I didn’t want to be with him because he wasn’t rich.

First of all, I just want to clarify that I never judge someone by how their lifestyle is. I don’t care if you are rich or poor, its about how you are as a person. Clearly, my brain was not working when I met Ronnie, since he made himself seem better than he really was.

Once I ended it with him and he moved out, it was a huge relief not having to deal with him. He still tried to contact me and ask me for money, but I shut him down. I wasn’t going to keep stressing myself over it.

You also might be wondering, “Why didn’t he give out his real name?”. Well, this might answer a few things as well as the big one, why he couldn’t keep a job. Well, it turns out that Red-Flag Ronnie had a record. Now, I didn’t search his name when he gave it for his bus ticket, but if I had, I would’ve blocked him.

Turns out that when Ronnie was in college, he sexually assaulted someone. Which is why he doesn’t use his real name because if you were to search it, it pulls up articles that talked about it from a few years ago. Apparently, the case was still on going.

Ronnie did tell me about it, but he spun the story very differently than what the articles explained. He told me that he met this girl, and they hooked up, the boyfriend supposedly found out she cheated and apparently, the girl didn’t want her boyfriend to leave her and claimed that Ronnie assaulted her instead.

However, that wasn’t what the article said. The news article said that he threatened her with a knife, which he never mentioned. Mind you, I didn’t find this all out until after the fact, if I knew this, I would have ended things and blocked him right off.

Which explains quite a bit why he couldn’t keep a job and probably one of the reasons why women wanted nothing to do with him after they found that out. This is exactly why whenever you are dating someone, Google their full name and see what pops up.

Granted, a few other things happened with that relationship, such as him raising his voice at me and having angry outbursts when things didn’t go his way that were some more red flags.

In the end, I learned a few things and I now know if I attempt to go back on Facebook Dating, I know exactly what I want to avoid. I think one of the big things that I’m not going to do is rush into things. Nothing goes well when you rush.

I’m now at the mentality of “if something is meant to be, it will be.” I’ve also completely accept that famous quote Chandler Bing in Friends says:

Posted in Writing Works

Finally Free – Friday’s Short Stories

Posted on by Katie Night

Finally Free

Hey Dearies! So, this one is another short story based on an idea or prompt! This one inspired me or gave me the idea from Safe Haven, but with a different twist to it. This one has mentions of abuse, so if you are triggered by that, please don’t read! 

What would freedom really be for those who are trapped?

Hailey didn’t know what freedom was until she got dropped off at the docks of Hawaii. She had finally left the pain and hurt that had been damaging her for years. She never thought that she would have to be on the run, but she figured being in Hawaii would give herself and her ex more distance between each other.

She looked around in amaze as she took a deep breath of her new surroundings. Picking up her bag pack that only held a few essentials that he grabbed in rush from leaving Kevin. She shook her head as she wandered around the street, she was amazed at the beautiful view of the ocean.

Hailey had always wanted to come to Hawaii, but after high school, her plans completely changed. They had especially changed since she met Kevin. The worse regret of her life. If she would’ve known what he would’ve been like before she had got with him, she would’ve run for her life.

Now she is running for her life.

Discouraging the thought of Kevin, something caught her eyes, as she watched him walk by. He looked familiar to her and it took her only a second to realize it was him, the real reason why she ran to Hawaii, all because of Ethan Brooks.

Her heart started to beat faster as he gazed into her eyes and stopping right in front of her.

“Hailey? Is that really you?” Her heart dropped, he still remembers her. Especially, since it’s been almost 3 years since she last saw him.

She was silent, a tear had fallen from her cheek, as she didn’t expect to cry in front of him. Instead of walking away from him, Ethan embraced her in his arms, holding her tightly. It made her feel safe and at home.

They stood there for a few minutes before Ethan pulled away from his embrace and took another look at her. Even though was in Hawaii, Hailey didn’t dress like she was comfortable. Wearing jeans and a tank top with a sweater covering her arms and zipped up to her neck.

Ethan noticed the bruise that slowly healing on her neck. Once he noticed that, he noticed other bruises of hers that were now more noticeable. “Walk with me, my beach house isn’t that far from here.” He grabbed her hand and took her bag of hers, throwing it over her shoulder, as he led to his beach house that was down the street from the boardwalk.

As soon as they got into Ethan’s beach house, Hailey was shocked at the place that she was in. She never knew that Ethan was rich, but he sure lived like it. She then took a view of the balcony that showed over the ocean, waves crashing onto the beach. It was heaven to her.

“Why didn’t you meet up with me that night?” Ethan spoke, he wasn’t going to catch up with her once he saw her bruises. Hailey beats herself up over not leaving to go with Ethan. She had met him in a nightclub, it was right after she 21, she went out with her friends to celebrate.

Hailey was talking to Kevin, but she was single when she met Ethan. When they danced, they clicked just like that and she followed him home where they had an amazing time. He told her he was leaving to go back to Hawaii and he wanted to take her with him, but before she could, she tried to explain it to Kevin, but it ended badly.

Hailey didn’t want to think about it, but she had to give Ethan an answer. “It’s harder for me to explain.” She spoke, turning to face him, tears fell from her eyes. “You don’t want to know what he did to me.”

Ethan, hugged her again, she hugged him back as she tried to maintain her crying, but it came out like waterfalls. “I’m sorry. I wanted to. I was ready to go and then he found out-”

“You don’t need to explain. You’re here with me now, aren’t you?” Ethan smiled, wiping her tears away as she gave him a smile in return. “Feel free to stay with me. I’m gonna make you something to eat, why don’t you go take a shower.”

Haily nodded as Ethan showed her the bathroom, giving her a set of sweat pants and shirt, then handing her a towel before walking out into the kitchen.

Hailey shut them down and started to strip out of her old clothes and looked at her naked self in the mirror, the black and blue bruises that were up and down on her body. She turned and looked at the deep scar that planted down her back, that hadn’t started to heal.

That scar was what gave her strength to leave Kevin.

After her shower, she got dressed in the clothes Ethan gave her and then headed into the kitchen, he was just finishing up cooking burgers. Her stomach growled, she hadn’t had anything since she left California except a cereal bar.

They ate together in silence. As Hailey was washing the dirty dishes, Ethan noticed the scar on her back, he was shocked at how bad the situation she was in. He turned her around, which scared her, she gazed into his eyes.

Ethan leaned his forehead against hers and studied her eyes, kissing her forehead. “I promise I won’t let anything bad happen to you. Stay with me.” He promised as Hailey was in shock, but it felt so right. She then nodded and then went to kiss his cheek, but Ethan turned his head, having her miss his cheek and plant a kiss onto his lips instead.

They kissed for a second, Hailey’s heart fluttered as she missed his kiss. Ethan pulled her closer and held her close, as they both had missed each other, more than they had known. In his arms, it was like wrapping yourself in a heavy blanket.

In the next few days, Ethan and Hailey caught up on what they missed in each other lives. The more time they spent together, they ended up growing closer to where they before. Hailey started to see a better version of herself in his arms, but having Ethan around made her forget all the pain and hurt that Kevin had ever put her in.

She was finally free from it all. The best part is that she was finally happier, stronger, and more empowered about her life choices. She was a bird that was finally free to fly where ever she wanted to go.

Let me know in the comments of what you thought about this short story! These will be posted every Friday and if you have a prompt or idea that you would like me to try out, let me know in the comments! 

Posted in Writing Works

Circle The Drain – Friday’s Short Stories

Posted on by Katie Night

Circle The Drain

Hey Dearies! This story is a little more serious topic, that involved alcohol abuse and what can occur to those who are affected by it. I just want to also make a disclaimer that if you are triggered by physical abuse, please read with caution. I also want to point out that this is just a story, this isn’t a true story.

This is from an older Katy Perry song that wasn’t one of her famous songs, but this one I think has a bigger message to those who are around those who can’t control the addictions they have started or picked up. Here’s a link to her song:

I’m not sticking around to watch you go down.

She could hear the crack of another bottle opening, this was her father’s 6th beer and she could tell things were about to get worse before they get better. Instead of grieving her mother’s death, her father drowned himself after work in that bottle.

That bottle.

She hated that bottle and the contents that were in it. She wished when the days were back to as they were: happy and simple. That all changed when her mother was killed in a drunk driving accident. After that day, everything changed.

She remembered her mother just stepping out to get some stuff for supper, she wanted to go with her, but her mother told her she was going to be right back. Then 2 hours after she left to get food, they got that call, it changed her life and her father’s.

Tears started to fall down her cheek, just thinking about it. She wiped them away and saw that a tear had fallin on her homework, as she tried to wipe it away. She missed her mother, she wished that she was in the car with her, that maybe she could’ve made sure that her mother stayed in the store longer and missed the driver or she was in the car with her mom when she got hit.

“Go to bed!” My father yelled, it was only 3pm and she was just trying to finish up the leftover work that she had to get down for class. Her eyes landed on that bottle as she wished she had the courage to rip that bottle from her father’s hands and throw it out the window.

Instead of arguing with her drunk father, she gather her stuff and headed into her room, slowly closing the door behind her.

Before she knew it, her father had swang her bedroom door open, startling her as her stuff fell to the floor.

“Don’t turn your back on me, you listen and answer me!” He shouted again and raised his fist, throwing a punch at her.

She winced in pain as she held her hurt cheek, more tears started to fall as this wasn’t the first time he’s done something to his, but it was never more than just a slap. She froze on the ground as she covered herself from his beatings and kickings.

Once he was down, he left her alone, on the floor, bleeding from his beatings. She tried to sit up, but wince in pain before she could. She didn’t understand why. It had only been 7 months since her mother’s death, but what she had been going through, make it seem that it had been a lifetime that she has been going through this.

She pulled herself up, after waiting for the pain to go down, grabbing her backpack and grabbing a few things that she needed before opening her window and sneaking out.
She was greatful for living in a trailer park and knew exactly what to do. She headed down the second street of their trailer park and slowly walked down to Mrs. Humble’s house.

She would always remember the times that her mother used to go down to Mrs. Humble’s house to help her with grocery shopping, cleaning her house, and spending time with her and her husband, and when they heard the news about her mother passing, they were heartbroken.

Mrs. Humble also knew her since she was a baby and treater her just like one of her own grandchildren, giving her presents and teaching her new things, she enjoyed her more than her mother’s presence.

She now stood outside of the Humble’s house, their porch light had just gone on and she could see through the window, Mr. Humble watching T.V. in his chair, as he was working on his crossword puzzles. Then she looked over and next to him was Mrs. Humble, knitting away at another blanket, which were always a favorite of hers to make.

Slowly, she approached the door, but once she rang the door bell, she saw Mrs. Humble opened the door and her eyes watered as she saw her fall into their house.

“Gary! It’s Linsey! Call 911!” Mrs. Humble yelled as she held her in her arms, rocking her back and forth.

Linsey woke up in a hospital room, Mr. and Mrs. Humble were in the room with her, and they ran to the side of the bed as her eyes fluttered open. “Linsey, how you feeling?” Mrs. Humbled asked as Linsey just shrugged. “We need to tell you something, dear.”

Linsey nodded as Mrs. Humble held her hand carefully. “They arrested your father for what he did.” Once Mrs. Humble told her what happen, Linsey was heartbroken. As much as what her father did to her was inexcusable, she didn’t want loose him too.

Linsey tried to speak, but nothing was coming out, she didn’t understand. “Dear, your father did a lot damage to your voicebox, it looks like you may have lost your voice. I’m so sorry, dear.”

She was so angry and sad at what the events had occured, but the one thing she hated more, was that bottle of liquor that had started it all.

Let me know what you think about these short stories! Comment down below if you have an idea on what I should write about next!