Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: It’s Okay To Not Keep Everything (Baby Stuff)

Hey Dearies, I wanted to talk about another big problem that us moms have that I don’t think anyone has mentioned. What’s worth keeping and what’s not worth keeping from your baby’s stuff.

I know a few are you are problem screaming at me through the screen saying, ‘WHAT?!’, but let me tell you why.

As a mother who has lost a child and is currently raising one at the moment, we want to keep stuff that they have ever use, such as outfits, blankets, shoes, bibs, toys, etc. The list goes on and on, to the point you have to ask yourself one question:

Where am I going to put this all?

But, I’m here to tell you, it’s okay that you don’t keep everything. If you are like me and live in a tiny trailer, then you understand where I’m coming from. When you have a baby, you get lots of stuff and most of the stuff is NEVER used or is used maybe once or twice.

When my son passed away, I wanted to keep all of his stuff, even stuff that he had never used, not just for memories, but for our next baby. Not to mention, I made sure his stuff, that he did wear, would be in his own tote.

Growing up, my mom make sure us kids had 3 totes. Inside, she had a few of our favorite outfits, first pairs of shoes, baby books, and some other stuff. I loved the idea of keeping a tote for each of my kids, which is exactly what I did.

Even when I kept my son’s stuff, I still had a LOT stuff that I was never been able to use, not to mention, a lot of family member also get you stuff for the baby to be, which can be super helpful, but sometimes you feel like you HAVE to keep stuff like that. But let me tell you something:

ITS OKAY TO NOT WANT TO KEEP IT!

Don’t let friends and family make you think you HAVE to keep stuff that you don’t have room for or you just don’t want to keep. There are plenty of parents and parents-to-be who are in need of stuff as such.

Yes, you can save those items for the next child you plan to have, but if you don’t have space, sell it or give it to those who need it! Don’t have your house cluttered just because you want to save it for the next baby because when you do plan to have another baby, someone else will be willing to give you the same stuff that you gave them.

So, I bet you are probably wondering, why I even wanted to bring this up. Well, let me get to that because it wasn’t just because I had a lot of leftover stuff, it had more to do with the fact that my daughter was getting older and her room was turning more into storage, than an actual bedroom.

Yes, we do have closets, but living in a small trailer, you don’t have much room to begin with, so you have to work with what you got.

Since my daughter was getting older, I decided that it was overdue for me to go through her stuff and figure out what I was going to do with it all because she needed a room that she can actually play in.

I went through any baby stuff, such as clothes, rockers, bouncy seat, bibs, walkers, etc. Since my daughter was too old to be using those, I sold them. Which, to me, isn’t a big deal because they didn’t have any attachment to it.

So, what did I actually keep?

  • Baby Book
  • Hospital Bracelets
  • First outfits
  • First pairs of shoes
  • An outfit that she wore, only one from each size.
  • First pacifier
  • First blanket
  • The first dress I crocheted her
  • The crib
  • The bassinet
  • Baby swing

That’s it. The last three are because they had a meaning to me, which I am going to keep for that sake, but everything else fits in her tote. Also, when I mean I’m saving an outfit from each size, it’s one outfit from newborn to 12 months. Anything else, I have either donated or sold to those who really need it.

d661d95443839c9f82d4d1797c3723dd

But as moms or new moms, don’t feel pressured to keep everything, it’s okay to not want to. And it’s okay to keep everything, if you have the room and space for it, go for it!

Whatever preference you decide, it’s okay. Just remember, the moments and memories you create, is worth more than items itself.

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Dealing With Depression As A Mom

Image result for depression

A lot of people think that having a baby will bring you joy and happiness for your family. Which is does, but a lot of people don’t understand that there is a lot going on then just taking care of a baby.

I have been dealing with depression since I was 13. It’s been a long rocky-road for me. Sometimes, I just wish that I could just be happy, but having depression, makes you want to do nothing. Be nothing. You are always sad inside and no one will really know unless you talk to them about it.

When you have a baby, after the baby is born, some mom struggle with, what it is called, ‘baby blues’. It usually happens to a lot of moms within the first month of their baby being born. That’s why a lot of OBGYN’s ask you about ‘baby blues’, at your 6 week post-postpartum check up. They want to make sure that you and the baby are in good hands.

As a mom who has already lost a child and just had another one, it’s really difficult for me to watch my daughter grow because my son died when he was only a month old. It’s started to hit me a few days ago, that’s why there hasn’t been a lot of blogging going on.

Not just with the depression, stress and other issues are also on my mind. It makes it worse, especially when you have a little one that needs you every waking minute. There are days that I don’t want to get up, but my daughter gives me the kick that I need to get up and go on with my life.

It makes me sad that I can’t see my son reach the milestones that my daughter is, but she gives me a sense of hope. Just because I lost my son, I can’t get up on the fact that he’s gone. I always know that he will always watch over my daughter and any future children that I may have.

Before you say that a newly mother can’t be depressed, think about this. Have you ever had a child? Have you ever thought of the crying to never end? Have you ever go nuts, in your mind, because your baby is crying and you don’t know why?

I give praises to newly mothers, especially ones that have babies or children with birth defects. I also want to praise all the mothers that try their best, when they think their best isn’t good enough.

You moms are doing amazing!

It’s good to hear a good thing or too. To me, it makes me feel inspired and more confident to shoot for the stars.

But the one thing that I always do, when I’m feeling depressed or down, I talk to someone. Whether it is a friend, family member, or my fiance. I talk to someone. I rather people know what’s going on, versus keeping it all locked inside. As much as I sometimes would rather not talk to anyone, I know that I should.

If you are a mom, who’s struggling with depression or ‘baby blues’, talk to someone or talk to your doctor, they can give you some medication that will make it easier for you to handle. As much as some people don’t like taking medications, I am one of those people, it does work.

I am always an open ear. Seriously, if you need someone to talk to, go to my Contact page and send me a message. It’s better to open up to someone, rather than no one.

To all those moms, you keep doing what you are doing, better days are sure to come.

*If you really need help and need to talk to someone or a medical professionally, click on the link below. It gives a list of hotlines and explains depression in depth. The hotline is there and is completely anonymous.

https://www.mentalhelp.net/articles/depression-hotline/