Posted in My Secret Love

My Secret Love (Chapter 3)

My Secret Love Book Cover

*Mature content, read at your own risk!*

If you haven’t already read Chapter 2, here is the link!
https://katiesblog96971617.com/2018/08/06/my-writing-my-secret-love-chapter-2/

~Chapter 3~

The weekend went by faster than I had expected. Justin and I just stayed home, since it was raining all weekend long. The one thing that hadn’t left my mind was about what happened Friday night.
That kiss was so familiar. I just sat at my desk, just thinking of who it could be, until my father knock on my office door and came in.
“Good morning.” He said as I gave him a faint smile. I nodded and then went back to work. “Your mother and I would like to talk to you. It’s about the Locke case.” I froze.
“Okay, did you want to talk about it here or in your office?” I asked as he shut the door and sat down and pulled a chair closer to me.
“Well, we can’t find his case file. It came in about a week or two ago, but I haven’t seen it.” I then grabbed my key and unlocked one of my desk drawers and grabbed the Locke file and handed it to him. “And you did have it?”
“Well, I thought that I would find him, since it was someone I went to high school with.” I lied, but I had a feeling that he knew that I was lying.
“Why did Tim give this to you?” He sat, dropping the file on my desk and started pacing back and forth. “Why don’t you kids ever listen to me? This was Tim’s case. I made sure of it.”
“Why didn’t you give the file to me?” I asked as I looked at my father to see look out the window. “You know exactly why.”
“He didn’t kill his parents and when that happened, he was with me the entire time.” I said, I was really pissed that my father was bringing this up. Michael and I were best friends when we were little. He was the bad boy in high school because he partied. He and I had gotten into a lot of trouble when we were younger. My parents hated him.
“Elizabeth, I don’t want to hear it! You stay away from him.” He then took the file from my desk and slammed the door as he left.
I held my head in my hands. Why the hell was he bringing this up? Something what going on with him, whether it was Tim or Michael case, he was upset. If he didn’t want to tell me, I will find out, one way or another.
“So why weren’t you at work?” I asked my brother as we were siting at my kitchen table. “You missed out on me and dad fighting.” Tim rolled his eyes.
“What’s new.” He then took another sip of red wine. “What was it about this time?”
Before I told him, I took a deep breathe and a sip of wine. “It was about the file.” Tim’s eyes got big. “He said that it was yours to do and that I need to stay away from him.”
“Well, that’s a reason why I wasn’t at work today, because they fired me.” Tim then finished his wine and poured another glass for himself. “Have you seem him?”
“Mikey? No.” I got up and walked into the bedroom to see if Justin was here, but thank god he wasn’t. The last thing I need is for him to get really jealous and overprotected over me. I sat back down and took another sip of wine. “You can’t let Justin know, but when we went drinking Friday night, Justin told me to meet him out by his car when he went to pay the tab…”
“Keep going, don’t just stop there.”
“I tripped and some guy helped me out and told me I was beautiful, then kissed me.” Tim’s eyes got big again. He mouthed the words ‘shut up’. “But the weird thing is that when he kissed me, it was like I had kissed him before. I can’t remember who it would be though.”
“This is the best gossip I’ve heard in weeks!” Tim took another sip and then looked at me smiling. “So, what are you going to do now? To be honest, I’ve never seen you blush like that since…” He paused and then his mouth got wide. “Oh. My. God. It’s him.”
My face got even redder as I thought about it and it was him. Why would he kiss me out of nowhere? I couldn’t believe that it was Michael. I was in complete denial. “No, it can’t be. He told me that he never had feeling for me.”
“Who knows, maybe he realized that he’s in love with you and then came back to confess his unconditional love to you.” Tim said. “Ah, young love!”
“I think you have had too much to drink.” I chuckled. Justin walked in with a pizza and bread sticks. He walked over to me and then kissed me on the forehead. “Hey babe.”
“I see that Tim is going to need a ride home?” Justin said as I giggled.
“Yes, can you call a cab for him?” I asked, he nodded yes and then walked into the bedroom to make the call.
“So, what are you going to do about Justin?” Tim whispered.
“Nothing, I’m in love with Justin. I see a future with Justin, not him.” When I spoke those words, I realized that I hadn’t thought about having a future with Justin, other than parting. He’s talked about kids and marriage a lot lately, but it never seemed to cross my mind if we did ever get married.
“You keep telling yourself that.” Tim said as Justin came out of the bedroom. “Cab here, stud?”
“Yes.” Justin said, grabbing two paper plates as Tim left. I then closed the wine bottle and placed it back to where all the other bottles of wine were. “How was work?”
“Fine. What about you?” I asked.
“It was good.”
We sat in silence while we ate. I couldn’t take the silence any longer, so I spoke. “So, um, do you see a future with me?”
“Of course I do. I also see us kissing our 3 children to bed.” He smiled and took care of our plates.
“Three kids? Why three?” I asked as we both walked into the bedroom and I laid down on my back as Justin took his shirt off.
“Yeah, two boys and one beautiful girl.” I smiled. I wish I could start seeing us have a future, maybe it takes more time?
“Well, I’ve got to go to bed. Work in the morning, remember?” I said getting under the sheets with Justin.
“We can go to bed in a little bit.” He started kissing up my arm all the way up to my neck. Then we started to make out, but I wasn’t in the mood. So we just ended up cuddling until we both fell asleep.

If you can’t wait until Monday, for another chapter, check out my book on Wattpad, just search katieasehl and you will find this and other books that I have finished or currently working on. 

Chapter 4:
https://katiesblog96971617.com/2018/08/13/my-writing-my-secret-love-chapter-4/

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Posted in My Secret Love

My Secret Love (Chapter 2)

My Secret Love Book Cover

*Mature content, read at your own risk!*

Here is the second chapter of one of my other books! I hope you all enjoy! I will also be coming out with another post with all of these chapters and their links, soon! I found it that a lot of people really liked how helpful it was when they were looking for a chapter! I will try my best and see if I can have it pinned to the top of the page on it’s page.

Click here if you haven’t read Chapter 1:
https://katiesblog96971617.com/2018/08/03/my-writing-my-secret-love-chapter-1/

~Chapter 2~

“When did you get this?” I asked. I carefully took a sip of coffee.
“A week ago. I hid it in my desk. I was going to tell you, but you seemed stressed out at the time.” My brother said. I just couldn’t believe that out of all files, he wouldn’t be the one to show up on my desk. “He’s wanted for murder, again.”
“Again? When did this happen?” I opened the file and saw that he was involved with the death of his parents. “But I thought that he was proven not guilty?”
“He was, but he disappeared after the trial. No one had hear from him in years, until now.” I got up from my desk and paced back and forth. “What’s wrong?”
I stopped and looked out the window, it was a beautiful fall morning. My brother walked over and looked at me as I kept staring at the window. “Nothing. I’m fine.”
Tim knew something was up, but left the subject alone as we went back to work. I looked over his file again. Rereading the same line, over and over again.
Wanted for the murder of  Alison Stonewall
The day went by pretty fast. Finished all the paper work for the day, but I didn’t get started on the file my brother gave me. I decided to lock it in my desk and pretend that it wasn’t there. Tim was texting on his phone, when our mother walked in.
“Elizabeth, may I have a word with you?” She looked over at my brother as he frowned. My father and her weren’t happy that Tim decided to come out to the closet.
“Whatever you have to say, just say it now. I’m getting ready to leave.” I said, making sure that I grabbed everything that I needed.
“I need you to stay late again. Your father and I need to talk to you.” I knew it.
“Well, what is it about? Justin is going to be here any minute now.” I said, ready to walk out the door, until my father stood in front of the door. “Hun, let her go. We can talk about it later.”
“We need to talk to her about that.” My mother wasn’t very happy. I had an idea of what they wanted to talk about because my brother then dropped his phone on his desk and then walked over to our father.
“Is it because I came out to you and told you that I’m gay? You think this is a illness? Something that I will just get over?” Tim paused and looked at our mother. “Just because you don’t believe in same-sex couples, doesn’t change who I am. Out of all people, I thought that you two would understand.”
Tim then grabbed my hand and we walked past them. “Wow.” I said once we reached the parking garage.
“I know, but I feel so much better.” We both hugged each other as Justin’s car pulled right next to Tim’s truck. “Looks like your stud muffin is here.”
Justin got out of the car, as he walked over to hug me, then kissed me on the lips. “Hey Tim, hows everything?” Justin asked as Tim smiled.
“Oh, peaches!” Tim then opened his car door and got right in. “You take care of my sister. Make sure she doesn’t drink too much.
“Don’t worry, I won’t go over board.” I said as he drove off.
Once we got into the car, Justin drove off to where we used to make-out all the time. I was confused, but as soon as he turned the car off, he grabbed two beers.
“So how was work?” He asked, but I didn’t answer him, until after I chugged my first beer. “That bad?”
“Well, let’s just say that I want to have a good time and just forget about it all, just for tonight.” I said, as he handed me my second beer.
“Don’t worry, babe.” He turned to me and grinned. “Forget about work, just relax.” He then started to kiss me. My hands started to wander up and down his body as were his hands were going up and down on my body.
I pulled away as he softly brushed his hand against my cheek. I then pulled him in for one last kiss. “Okay, you ready to go have some fun tonight?” I nodded yes as we then drove off to one of my favorite night clubs.
The club was packed as hell, but we found two seats by the bar. Justin got us our first round of shots. We both took 5 or 6 shots each and then headed onto the dance floor.
I grinded up and down on Justin, I could feel that he was starting to get hard, but then he stopped me from grinning and pulled me in for another kiss. Then we started kissing. Before we knew it, we were making out hard core, walking all the way down to the bathrooms.
I pulled away from his lips, while he started kissing my neck and his fingers traveled down my stomach. He tensed me by running his fingers slowly in between the beginning of my underwear line. Making it seem like his fingers were going to travel further.
A moan escaped from my mouth. Justin then kissed me and looked at me. “Ready to go home?” He asked. I nodded. “Meet me out by the car while I pay the tab.”
He kissed me one more time as I walked in front of him, swaying my hips back and fourth. He slapped my ass and whispered in my ear, “Stop being so naughty, or you’re gonna get it.” I giggled and then walked out of the club.
It’s very hard to walk straight when you see two of everything. I finally reached the car, but tripped right next to it. “Shit.” I mumbled.
“Hammered much?” A voice said, but chills ran up my spine. I recognized that voice, a voice I hadn’t heard in years. I got up and looked at him. “I-I-I’m fine.”
I couldn’t see his face, only his eyes. Bright blue eyes, that had gold in the middle. I remembered those eyes. It couldn’t of been him. He pushed my hair behind my ears.
“God, you are so beautiful.” He said as he leaned in and kissed me. I felt a spark, that same spark I hadn’t felt in a long time. He then pulled away, before I even opened my eyes, he was gone.
I touched my lips and tried to recall what had just happen, but Justin came back to the car and we went home. Even though I was drunk, I kept thinking about that kiss. I didn’t know if I should tell Justin.
Once we parked in the drive way, Justin ended up carrying me to our bedroom. He laid me down on the bed, taking off my shoes and his. “Who was that you were talking to?” He asked. I was so drunk and tired that I ended up passing out.
The next morning, I didn’t feel good. I ran to the bathroom, puked my brains out. I brushed my teeth and when I walked into the bedroom, Justin wasn’t in bed. I walked into the kitchen to see that he had made me coffee and breakfast. Still, I couldn’t find him.
I sat down and starting eating, when Justin walked into the kitchen, as he came from the front door. “Morning. How you feeling?” I gave him a dirty look.
“I feel like someone took a big ass hammer and is hitting me in the head, repeatedly.” I said, he smiled, but then he looked serious.
“So about last night.” He paused and sat down at the table next to me. “Who was that you were talking to?”
“I don’t know. I couldn’t really see his face.” I said.
“He?”
“I think, why?”
“Just curious.” He took a sip of his coffee. “I saw him get close to you. I didn’t know if it was a friend or not.”
“I don’t think I know him.” I lied. I know I’ve met him before, but I can’t remember where. I wasn’t paying attention to what I was saying, but it slipped out. “I think he kissed me, but I think I was just imaging it.”
“So, you knew him?” Justin questioned me again. Why was he being so worried? If I told him that I knew that guy, he would want to know who, but even I don’t know who.
“No, I don’t remember much after we had our hard core make-out session.”
“Okay, I was just making sure.” He paused and then touched my hand that was on the table. “I care about you too much and I don’t want to lose you. I love you, Elizabeth.”
“I love you, too.” I finished breakfast and then I decided that I wanted to get more sleep, so Justin and I cuddled the entire day. It was perfect, but my mind was still wondering who that mysterious guy was.

As always, if you can’t wait until the next chapter to come out, feel free to check it out on Wattpad, just search katieasehl, and you will find My Secret Love and few other books that I have been working on or currently finished.

Chapter 3:
https://katiesblog96971617.com/2018/08/10/my-writing-my-secret-love-chapter-3/

 

Posted in My Secret Love

My Secret Love (Chapter 1)

my-secret-love-book-cover.png

Here is another one of my books! My Secret Love. I want to WARN everyone that there is mature content and this story might talk about abuse, rape, drugs. There is ALSO some very graphic sex scenes. I will let you all know at the beginning of each chapter!

When I woke up this morning, it didn’t feel like a normal day. It felt different. I looked over to see Justin still sleeping on the other side of the bed. I slowly got up, grabbed clothes and got into the shower.
I was glad today was Friday. With the work week I had, drinks are needed after I got out of work. I’ve been staying late almost every time for the past few months because of my little sister Sammy.
The water felt nice on my skin, I really didn’t want to get out, but it was already 7:43 a.m. I had to be at work for 8, but it looks like I’ll be a little late.
When I got out of the shower, Justin was already dressed and ready to go. I grabbed my clothes and dropped my towel. I had enough time to put my bra and underwear on before I felt his warm hands go down my arms.
“Let’s not go into work. Stay home with me, baby.” He slowly kissed my shoulder, going closer to my neck and lightly nibbled. “Please, baby? Take today off, I’m sure your parents will understand.”
I pulled away from him to put my jeans on and one of my favorite plaid button-up shirts. “I wish, but they don’t get it. I can’t have a life, but they can with Sammy.” I then grabbed my red leather jacket, that my Mimi gave me before she died. “I’ll try my best to get out early and then we can go to the bar, have a few drinks, and spend time together.” He kissed me and then smiled.
“We can do that. I really wish you had today off, but to make the day even better, how about I bring you to work?”He then grabbed his coat and his car keys. I grabbed my bag and then we left for work.
“You’re late, again.” I heard my mother’s voice as I was trying to eat my breakfast. She walked in and sat down in front of my desk. “Why were you late this time?”
I took a sip of my coffee and then looked at her. “Oh, I don’t know. Probably because my boyfriend wants to spend more time with me because for the last couple months, I have been working late.”
“I’m sorry, but you have more important things to do. Your father and I do like Justin, but you have duties here that you have to attend with.”
“I know.” I then took a bite out of my breakfast sandwich as she rolled her eyes, when she saw what I was wearing. “What’s the problem now?”
“You need to dress more formally if you’re going to be in the office all day. I raised you better than this, Elizabeth.” She then stood up as my older brother walked in. She looked at my brother and left our office.
“Well, what did you do to her now?” Tim asked as he closed the door. “Okay, now spill it.” He then sat down at his desk.
“She bitched at me for being late again. I told her that I would like to spend more time with my boyfriend, but that’s not important.” I ranted to him. “But, anyway, I see that she is still not talking to you.”
“Nope. Did I forget to mention that Dad stopped by my house last night?” Tim then put a file on his desk. “No way, why did he come over?” I asked.
“First of all, he was completely wasted, screaming and yelling in front of my house. I guess that’s what happen’s when I finally had the guts to tell them your gay.” He then got up and threw down a file.
My eyes widen when I saw the name of who the file was on. It was him. A name that I never thought I would see again. Michael James Locke.

As always, if you want to read the book, without waiting for the chapters, it is out on Wattpad, and search katieasehl. 

Chapter 2:
https://katiesblog96971617.com/2018/08/06/my-writing-my-secret-love-chapter-2/

Posted in Unclear

Unclear – 10 Years Later, Happy Ending (Chapter 20) ~End~

Unclear Book Cover

Hey dearies! I didn’t know how short this ending was, I’m sorry about that! So, for an extra special, I am going to give you guys a NEW chapter from one of my other books!

If you haven’t read Chapter 19, here is the link!
https://katiesblog96971617.com/2018/07/30/my-writing-unclear-all-just-a-dream-chapter-19/

Jade’s P.O.V. 
I never thought that I would be a mother. Even when I dreamed about it, I never thought I would be able to have any kids after the accident. I moved into Tanner’s place after the accident. He has helped me so much. We fell in love all over again and got married 3 years later.
And now, we are parents to twins. Just like in the dream.
But, come to find out…
My best friend is dead. He died 3 weeks after the twins were born. I do miss him. I’ll think about here and then, but he doesn’t spend too much time on my mind.
Tanner’s sister is married and is expecting a little boy.
My mom and her new husband ended up splitting up after she lost the babies.
And me? Well, I’ve been a stay at home mother and also been teaching students online for a living. But after everything I’ve been through, I’m finally happy. I just wished my sister and father were here.
I’m glad that I have a family of my own. It’s perfect for my happy ending.

So, I’m debating on creating a sequel because I didn’t realize how I ended it, so I will keep you guys posted on my Facebook and Twitter. Hope you all enjoyed this story! If you have any feedback, please feel free to let me know! 

Posted in Podcast

Let’s Rant – Episode 2 (13 Reason Why)

Hello Dearies! So, for this podcast, I wanted to talk about a TV Series that has everyone talking about, 13 Reasons Why. Netflix released the second season earlier this year, yes I know I am a behind on talking about it.

Anyway, if you haven’t seen it on Netflix, I recommend you NOT to listen in. I will also be talking about the book as well, and yes, this series was based off a book!

Image result for 13 reasons why book cover

So, a spoiler alert is needed.

Image result for 13 reasons why

Click here if you want to listen in to the tapes that the author created for the book:
https://www.youtube.com/user/Hannahsfriend13/featured

If you are struggling with life or need someone to talk to, here is the Lifeline website. There is always another option!!! It’s better to talk about it than be silent!
https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

Here is the website, from the TV series:
https://13reasonswhy.info/

Here is the website from the actually book, with more information:
http://www.thirteenreasonswhy.com/

Check out my YouTube channel, it has all my podcasts and much more!
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzooJ6mOChq1CCHgAiPGC8g

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Why I Decided To Fix An Old Friendship

Image result for best friend quotes

So, if you have been reading or following my blog since April of this year, I talked about how I had to get rid of one of my best friends because it was too much unwanted drama and stress. I didn’t fix that relationship, believe me, it’s not worth fixing, to me.

I’m talking about another relationship that I destroyed back in my senior year of high school. I can’t really remember why I got rid of her as a friend. I believe it was because I thought she was more drama, but I don’t have a set reason on why I did what I did.

I’ve known her since the 10th grade, but we really connected and became best friends in 11th grade. We had many fights, but always fixed them as soon as possible. When senior year was coming to an end, I ended the friendship. Maybe because I didn’t think I would see her as much? Maybe I wanted to end the pain of losing her as a friend?

The only thing I can think of is that I was very immature and everyone in high school can be immature. What really made me look back and realized all the stupid shit I did and all the people I pushed out of my life, was when I lost my son.

When you go through something as difficult and it changes you. You think of things differently, you rethink all your actions, and you become more mature after going through something as difficult as death or anything.

After my son died, I deleted my old Facebook and created a new one a few months after, I wanted time away from social media. Well, in the past couple weeks, I saw her profile pop up on my suggestions list for friends. I debated on whether on messaging her or not, just because on how I ended things so quickly and without reason.

I’ll be honest, when I finally got the courage to message her, I literally had it all wrote out on my phone, planning on what I was gonna say to her. Deep down, I knew that I should at least be an adult and say sorry for all the crap I caused. All I thought she would do is have my ass handed to me, which I totally deserved, but I was shocked.

I think she was shocked too when I sent that message, but I’m glad I did. She forgave me, something I didn’t think that would happen, but she did. It shows how much we have both grown up in the past almost 3 years.

We ended up telling each other everything we have done within the past 3 years. We even talked about our high school days. I was shocked to find out that she had been thinking about me too, wondering why I got rid of her as a friend.

If I looked back at the only really close friendships I had, the one I had with her, was probably the best because we clicked a lot better that I did with my other ex best friend. The ex best friend, we had a few things in common, but I feel I was more issues and drama because she wanted to be center of attention.

I’m glad I took the shot to fix a broken friendship that I ruined. It felt good to know that after 3 years, we clicked back, just like that. Even now, that I have kids, she still would’ve stayed if I just kept her in my life, but the past is in the past. I’m going to try my best to, hopefully, keep this friendship for many more years and years to come.

Posted in Unclear

Unclear – All Just A Dream (Chapter 19)

Unclear Book Cover

This is the second to last chapter, for Unclear! Your votes came in on a tie, but in the time being, I am going to be working on Unclear Part 2 and Friday, I will let everyone know what book is next!

If you haven’t read Chapter 18, here is the link!
https://katiesblog96971617.com/2018/07/27/my-writing-unclear-prayers-anything-please-chapter-18/

~All Just A Dream~

Jade’s P.O.V.
I woke up in the hospital, face hurt and my entire body was in pain. I looked around the room, no one. I looked over to the stand to find my phone. I grabbed it and then looked at the time. 6:27 pm. But the date didn’t seem right, it was in the middle of May, but last time I remembered, it was September, not May.
It didn’t seem right to me, at all. The middle of May? But where’s my children? My heart started to beat faster, making one of the machines go off. Then I heard a knock on the door and Dr. Locke came in, smiling.
“Well, well, you are finally up.” He said, walking over to the heart rate monitor and pressed a few buttons. “How are you feeling?”
“Okay, but where are my babies? Where’s Tanner?” I asked. Locke looked confuse, but I knew he knew Tanner.
“Babies? You think you were in the hospital because you were pregnant?” I nodded. “Sweetie, you were in a car accident almost a year ago, you just finally woke up.” My eyes started to water.
“But-but, I came here because I was going into labor. Where’s Tanner?” I’m just so confused, it doesn’t make any sense.
“You’ve never been pregnant, I would’ve known that.” He paused. “You were out on your birthday and on your way home, you drove into another vehicle. I got a frantic call from your mother, she was crying, saying that you were badly hurt. You’ve been here ever since.”
Tears fell from my eyes. “Where’s Tanner?” I asked again. He looked up at me and frowned.
“Tanner is, ” he paused. Making me feel like something happened. “He was the one you hit, but he is alive. He’s been coming here every day to see you. I’ll be back later, I’m going to let the nurses know you are up.” He then turned around and left the room.
A few moments later, Tanner walked in with some flowers. He walked in and placed them in the vase that was next to my bed. Then he sat down in the chair next to my bed. I looked up to him, he looked like crap. Looks like he couldn’t sleep.
“Tanner.” I spoke, his head shot right up and he looked at me and smiled. “You’re awake! I’ve been waiting for you to wait up.” He then held my hand, placing a kiss on it.
“Where’s our babies?” I asked. His eyes opened up a little more. “Did you dream about that too?” I nodded.
“I did, but we’ve only met once, at that party that was at your house, but I feel that I’ve known you longer than that.” He explained, as I sat up in bed. I tried getting out of bed, but couldn’t. I couldn’t feel my legs at all. “Did the doctor tell you?”
I looked at him, puzzled. What did he mean exactly? I shook my head no. I took a deep breathe. Please be good news.
“When we got in that car accident, you were hurt more than me.” He paused. My stomach felt sick. “You’re paralyzed from the waist down. I’m so sorry. Dr. Locke doesn’t think you’ll be able to walk again.”
I started to cry in my hands. How can this be happening to me? I haven’t done anything wrong. I felt Tanner’s hand grabbed mine, as I looked up.
“I’ll do whatever you want, since I caused this.”
“Don’t, it’s not your fault. I was the stupid one to drive drunk.” I then placed my head in my hands. God, why did I had to be so stupid?
“Jade, it doesn’t matter, okay? I want to do this. Please, let me.” He asked. I rolled my eye’s and said ‘fine’.

If you can’t wait to finish Unclear, check it out on Wattpad! Search for katieasehl and you’ll find Unclear and a few other works that I am currently working on!

Chapter 20:

Posted in Unclear

Unclear – Prayers, Anything Please (Chapter 18)

Unclear Book Cover

After this chapter, only to more chapters will be left! If you like to vote on if I should make an Unclear or show one of my other works, check out my Facebook page to vote! There is only a few days left!

If you haven’t read Chapter 17, here is the link!
https://katiesblog96971617.com/2018/07/23/my-writing-unclear-new-life-chapter-17/

Tanner’s P.O.V.
~4 Weeks Later~
This wasn’t suppose to happen. She should’ve made it out okay. Now, the mother of my children, may not even walk out of here alright. We need a fucking miracle, something. She can’t leave this world, not now. Her babies need her.
Jade hasn’t improved since she gave birth to our twins. The babies were able to come home the 4th day since they were born. They only got to see her once. I’ve been visiting the hospital as much as I can, but it’s been difficult with the twins home. Jade’s mom has been a huge help with all of this. She told me that she would help me out until Jade is well and able to come home.
They don’t know what caused it. Its like she’s sleeping beauty, but someone did something to her. She looks like she’s in a deep sleep that she can’t wake herself up. Doctor’s think that she just lost a lot of blood and pasted out because she just gave birth, but I don’t believe it. I think that someone did something to here.
As I looked over at Jade, hoping that she just opens her eyes at me, touch my hand back, or move, something. I grabbed her hand and held it in mine and just watched her as the doctor came in.
“How is she doing?” I asked as I looked up at Dr. Locke. He frowned. “Okay, the same she was or has been for the past couple weeks.”
“Do you know when she will wake up?” Rubbing her soft hands.
“Unfortunately, we are still unsure about it, but the good thing is that she’s stable.” He paused, “However, we did get a phone call from a Mr. John, he said that he wants you to call him back. I guess he didn’t know you or Jade’s number.” As he handed me a piece of paper that had a number written on it. “I’ll be bad in a few hours to check up on her again. Have a good day.”
As soon as Dr. Locke left, I dialed the number in my cell phone and placed it to my ear. It rang a few times before I heard the familiar voice that I didn’t think I would ever see or hear from again.
“So, sorry to hear about how my beloved Jade isn’t doing well. What a shame.” Lucas spoke. My blood started to boil, just hearing his name pissed me off.
“How the hell do you know all this? I thought that we were done with all this high school bullshit.”
“I have ears, James. I’m not that stupid, but I’m not into Jade anymore. Since I have came to the conclusion that she will never be with me, I have decided that if she can’t be mine, she can’t be with anyone.”
“What did you do to her?? Her children need her now, they need their mother!” I yelled.
“I know a doctor who’s drugging her up and keeping her from waking up. I told you not to call this cops, but you did and sent me to jail, yet again. And of course I know her children need her, that’s why she will be woken up, but soon. So don’t get your hopes up, she could be gone before your eyes.” He laughed.
“You just aren’t going to leave her alone, aren’t you? You can’t let her have the life she wants, unless it’s with you? She’ll never love you the way she loves me now. What you did to her, she’ll never forget. So what are going to do now, huh? Drug her and have the family that you wanted? I don’t think so, whatever you thought about doing to her, forget it. You won’t get past me to get Jade or our children. Go ahead and try, I dare you, because as soon as you do get anywhere near her, I’ll make sure that some one is there to arrest your ass and make sure that you never get out.”
“We will see about that, just because she has that restraining order on me, don’t mean shit to me. I’m not the one who’s going to get her or your children and besides, I’ll make a better father to them than you ever were.”
“Like hell you are! You keep dreaming about that buddy, cause it won’t ever happened. Why don’t you go bother someone else for a change.” I hung up.
I just sat there and just kept thinking. How will I be able to protect both Jade and the babies? Just in case this dumb ass actually comes out and tries to get them.
Why the hell does this stuff have to happen to us?

Next chapter will be out on Friday!

Chapter 19:

Posted in Unclear

Unclear – New Life (Chapter 17)

Unclear Book Cover

Good Morning! Here is another chapter of my book! Only a few more chapters left! I also wanted to let everyone know, if you haven’t noticed, I have updated each chapter, so before you read the current chapter you are on, I will have a link for the chapter before and at the end, I will have a link to the next chapter, from the one you are currently on. 

If some of the link aren’t working, let me know, so I can fix them! I also have a list of all the chapter. I will be updating that as well, until the end of the book!

If you haven’t read Chapter 16, here is the link!
https://katiesblog96971617.com/2018/07/20/my-writing-unclear-its-time-chapter-16/

Enjoy!

~New Life~

Jade’s P.O.V.
“Just a few more pushes.” Doctor Locke said as I pushed. “One more.” Then I heard crying. Tanner looked at me and kissed me. “It’s a boy!”
“How is he? He’s healthy right?” I asked. Worried that something might be wrong.
“He’s perfectly fine, but we need to get the next one out now.” He said as he handed my son to one of the nurses. “Okay, push.” I pushed and pushed.
“Okay, I see it’s head, now one more push.” I pushed and then hear the crying of my second child. “It’s a girl!” I smiled in relief. I felt exhausted. Tanner kissed me once more.
“They are beautiful.” Tanner said. I smiled. I then started to fade. “Jade?” I heard Tanner say before I completely blacked out.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tanner’s P.O.V. 
“Jade!” I said.
“Her heart rate is slowing down. You need to leave.” The doctor said as I was being pulled out of the room. They closed the door and I threw my hands in my hair. Why the hell is this happening? James came up to me.
“It everything okay?” He asked.
“The babies are fine, but they kicked me out because Jade’s heart rate started to going down.” I just wish that they would tell me what the hell is wrong. I can’t lose another person who I love. I just can’t. It would kill me.
“Don’t worry, she’s a fighter, she’ll be fine.” He said, then walked back to the waiting room. I started to pace back and forth for about 20 minutes, until one of the nurses came out from the room.
“How is she? What happened to her in there?” I asked. I couldn’t wait any longer, I needed answers.
“She lost a lot of blood. Currently, she is fine, but she is in a comma. We aren’t sure how it happened, all we know is that it might be a while, before she wakes up.” My eyes started to water. How the hell did this happen? Then the nurse spoke again. “You can go in and see her, if you like, but why don’t you meet your son and daughter.”
I followed the nurse to the nursery. She then picked up my son and handed me him. Just holding him in my arms was priceless. It really was. A tear slipped from my eye, as I held his little hands. He was just so tiny. Perfect.
The nurse then switched with me, so that I could hold my daughter. She looked so much like Jade. It sadden me that Jade wasn’t able to hold our children before she went into a comma. I just hoped that she will wake up in time for us to all go home as a family.
“Did you have any names in mind?” The nursed asked as I looked up at her and then back down to my daughter.
“Yeah, we had names picked out.” I paused, “I just didn’t think it would just be me to name them.”
“I understand, but they do need names.”
“I know.” I said, looking down at my daughter. She was just as beautiful as her mother. I then started to think back to when we were talking about baby names.
A few months ago…
“What about Matthew?” Jade said, we were siting on our couch, both looking for baby names. She was looking through a baby book that had a list of names, while I was looking on my phone.
“I like it, but what about Norman?” I said. Jade looked at me and questioned me.
“Norman? That sounds like a old person’s name.” I looked over at her. “So? Everyone names their kid Matthew, it’s a very common name.” I explained, she looked back at her book.
“What about Logan? Logan Michael? I can see that. What do you think?” She asked.
“Sounds good to me. I think I can live with our son being named that.” She smiled. “And for a girl, we should name her Athena Lynn.”
“That’s beautiful. How did you come up with that?”
“It was my great-grandmother’s name.” I said, looking at her. She smiled. “So are we done with name picking because I think that we are done, finally.” She rolled her eyes.
“Yes, we are done.” She paused and placed my hand on her stomach. “They are kicking.” I smiled when I felt them kicking.
“They must like their names.” I smiled and took my other hand and placed it on her cheek. “That and they must love their mommy.”
“And their daddy.” Jade added as I came in and kissed her.
I smiled. As I looked down at my daughter. “Her name is Athena Lynn.”
The nurse then handed me my son and I held both children in my arms. “His name is Logan Michael.” I then placed a kiss on both of them. The nurse took my daughter and placed her down. I then placed my son down.
Now that I saw my children and held them for the first time, I wanted to see Jade.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jame’s P.O.V.
As I walked back to the waiting room, Jade’s mother and Savannah were waiting. Savannah shot up and walked over to me.
“How is she? Is she okay? How are the babies?” She questioned me. I looked at her and my face sadden. She’s gonna be just as hurt as I was when Tanner told me.
“The babies are healthy, but Jade’s heart rate started to go down and the doctors kicked Tanner out. They haven’t said what was wrong with her, yet.” I said. Savannah started to cry. Jade’s mother walked over and her eyes started to water.
“I feel so bad.” Jade’s mother said. “I could’ve fixed the relationship we had, but instead, I give all my attention to my husband.” Savannah hugged her.
“It’s not your fault. People do crazy things, when their in love.” Savannah said. She had a point. I ruined a chance to be with Jade and because of that, she’s with Tanner. They’ll make one great family. “But we aren’t here about that. We are here to support Jade and Tanner. Come on, let’s go get some coffee, while we wait for more news from Tanner.”
I ended up siting in one of the waiting room chairs. I can’t believe that this is happening. Jade doesn’t deserve this. She doesn’t deserve me as a friend. Why the hell did I come?
My phone then started to go off. It was my girlfriend calling me.
“Hello?”
“Where the hell have you been?” she yelled.
“I’ve been at the hospital. Jade just had her babies.”
“What! Do you even know what day it is today?”
“Um, our anniversary? Your birthday?”
“No and no! We had plans to go out to the club tonight!”
“Well, I’m really not up for clubbing.”
“Why not?? You promised!”
“Ugh, fine. Just let me find out what the hell happened to Jade and then I’ll be on my way to pick you up.”
“Well, hurry the fuck up! Or you don’t get your surprise.”
“Okay, okay. I’m on my way now. See you in a few.” I then hung up on her. Fuck. I got up and started to walk out the door, until Savannah stopped me. She was just by herself.
“Where are you going?” She asked. I really didn’t have time for this. I just realized that ‘surprise’ my girlfriend had for me, it’s a threesome and I’m not going to pass it up.
“I’ve got to go. Keep me updated.” I said, as I ran out of the hospital.

Next chapter will be out on Friday! If you can’t wait to finish the book, you can always go to Wattpad and search katieasehl, not only will you find Unclear, but you will also find other books that I have wrote or I’m currently working on. 

Chapter 18:
https://katiesblog96971617.com/2018/07/27/my-writing-unclear-prayers-anything-please-chapter-18/

Posted in Unclear

Unclear: List of Chapters

Unclear Book Cover

Hey guys! I wanted to make it easier for you guys to get to each and every chapter of my book, Unclear. So, I will list all the links of the chapters, just to make it easier for you guys to find!

*If any of the links aren’t showing up or working, please let me know, so that I can fix it!*

Into –
 https://katiesblog96971617.com/2018/05/14/my-writing-unclear-intro/

Chapter 1: 10 Years Later – 
https://katiesblog96971617.com/2018/05/21/my-writing-unclear-10-years-later-chapter-1/

Chapter 2: The Mistake – 
https://katiesblog96971617.com/2018/05/28/my-writing-unclear-chapter-2-the-mistake-chapter-2/

Chapter 3: Does He Love Me? – 
https://katiesblog96971617.com/2018/06/04/my-writing-unclear-does-he-love-me-chapter-3/

Chapter 4: What’s Wrong With Me? –
https://katiesblog96971617.com/2018/06/08/my-writing-unclear-whats-wrong-with-me/

Chapter 5: Uh, Oh – 
https://katiesblog96971617.com/2018/06/11/my-writing-unclear-uh-oh-chapter-5/

Chapter 6: I Need To Tell Them – 
https://katiesblog96971617.com/2018/06/15/my-writing-unclear-i-need-to-tell-them-chapter-6/

Chapter 7: 3 Months – 
https://katiesblog96971617.com/2018/06/18/my-writing-unclear-3-months-chapter-7/

Chapter 8: It Was Me – 
https://katiesblog96971617.com/2018/06/22/my-writing-unclear-it-was-me-chapter-8/

Chapter 9: The Father Is – 
https://katiesblog96971617.com/2018/06/25/my-writing-unclear-the-father-is-chapter-9/

Chapter 10: 5 Months – 
https://katiesblog96971617.com/2018/06/29/my-writing-unclear-5-months-chapter-10/

Chapter 11: Its A What?? – 
https://katiesblog96971617.com/2018/07/02/my-writing-unclear-its-a-what-chapter-11/

Chapter 12: He’s Coming For Me – 
https://katiesblog96971617.com/2018/07/06/my-writing-unclear-hes-coming-for-me-chapter-12/

Chapter 13: What’s Going On? – 
https://katiesblog96971617.com/2018/07/09/my-writing-unclear-whats-going-on-chapter-13/

Chapter 14: Marie’s Hope –
https://katiesblog96971617.com/2018/07/13/my-writing-unclear-maries-hope-chapter-14/

Chapter 15: The Last Long Love –
https://katiesblog96971617.com/2018/07/16/my-writing-unclear-the-last-long-love-chapter-15/

Chapter 16: It’s Time – 
https://katiesblog96971617.com/2018/07/20/my-writing-unclear-its-time-chapter-16/

Chapter 17:
https://katiesblog96971617.com/2018/07/23/my-writing-unclear-new-life-chapter-17/

Chapter 18:
https://katiesblog96971617.com/2018/07/27/my-writing-unclear-prayers-anything-please-chapter-18/

Chapter 19:
https://katiesblog96971617.com/2018/07/30/my-writing-unclear-all-just-a-dream-chapter-19/

Chapter 20:
https://katiesblog96971617.com/2018/08/03/my-writing-unclear-10-years-later-happy-ending-chapter-20-end/

 

Posted in Unclear

Unclear – It’s Time (Chapter 16)

Image result for katieasehl wattpad

Happy Friday! There is only 4 more chapters left after this chapter! I need your input! Show I make a sequel or show one of my other books on here? Let me know in the comments or feel free to message my Facebook page and let me know!

If you haven’t read Chapter 15, here is the link!
https://katiesblog96971617.com/2018/07/16/my-writing-unclear-the-last-long-love-chapter-15/

~It’s Time~

Jade’s P.O.
It’s been a few weeks since Marie was taken and turned into a vampire. I still couldn’t believe it was true. I never thought there would be such thing as vampires. As long as Marie is alright, I could care less of what she is.
I’m 39 weeks pregnant. Only one more week until Tanner and I’s baby’s are here. I’ve been working from home, since that I’ll be having twins, while Tanner has been working overtime. I haven’t been able to see him as much. I miss him.
I woke up with Tanner still fast asleep. I had to get up and start working. Any money that we can save, the better it will be for us.
As I walked into the kitchen, Tanner had left a note on the counter with a box filled with donuts.
‘I know I’ve been working a lot, but I’ll make it up to you, tonight.’
I smiled, grabbing the box and bringing it into my desk.
Then I went to work. The best thing about working from home is that I can work whenever I want. Especially since that I’m going to stay home to raise our children, until they go to school. Then I’ll go back to work at the book store.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tanner’s P.O.V.
I woke up around noon. I’ve been busting my ass to put money aside for the babies and for bills. Nothing much I can do. Plus, the more overtime I get, the more time I’ll be able to help out Jade with the twins.
I wasn’t going to worry about it right now. Tonight, I’m going to do something nice for Jade. Since she has only 1 more week until her due date, I thought that I would make her a special dinner and watch ‘The Notebook’ with her.
I got up and rubbed my face. I’m still really tired from last night. Got dressed and walked out to find Jade working. I smiled to see that the box of donuts I got her, were completely gone. I walked over and kissed her on the cheek. She froze, her hand was on her stomach.
“What’s wrong?” I asked. She looked up at me.
“I think I’m having contractions.” She said as my eyes opened.
“A-are you sure?” I asked again.
“I don’t know, but either I peed my pants or my water just broke.” She said as she pointed down to her wet to her wet pants.
“We need to get to the hospital, now.” I said, grabbing the bag, that we had by the door, for when Jade was about to have the babies. Jade moaned in pain. “Shit! We need to get going, now!”
I ran down the stairs, started the car, than ran back up the stairs and helped Jade down to the car. My mind was rushing with emotions. I just couldn’t believe that I was going to be a father! I kept thinking that all the way down to the hospital.
Once we got there, Jade was admitted into a room, I ended up making a phone call to Jade’s mother, letting her know that Jade is in labor. Then I called James’.
“What the hell do you want?” James answered. I wish he didn’t have to be a dick.
“Well, Jade wanted me to call you and let you know that we are at the hospital.” James went completely silent.
“S-she in labor?” He stuttered.
“Yes. I think it would be best if you were here for her. I know you two haven’t talked in a while, but you are still her best friend. She needs you.” I said. It sucked saying those last words, but Jade should have her best friend by her side.
“Okay, I’ll be down there as soon as I can. I’ll see you there.” James hung up.
I then texted Jade’s other best friend and told her what was going on. There was one person I wanted here with me, but for the safety of my children, Marie won’t come.  I dialed her number. I haven’t talked to her since she died.
“Hey, you reached Marie. I’ll call you back when I can.” It went to voicemail, again. Then once I heard the beep, I said this:
‘Hey it’s me. I just wanted to let you know that your niece and nephew are about to be born. I wish you could be here for this. I still haven’t heard from you since you left the hospital with that guy. Please, call me back as soon as you can. I miss you, sis.’
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Marie’s P.O.V.
I looked down at my phone. Tanner called again. I called my voicemail to hear his message:
‘Hey it’s me. I just wanted to let you know that your niece and nephew are about to be born. I wish you could be here for this. I still haven’t heard from you since you left the hospital with that guy. Please, call me back as soon as you can. I miss you, sis.’
Tears came to my eyes. I missed him too, but I can’t. My craving for blood is too strong. I can’t even be near a human, while out hearing their heartbeat and the beat of their pulse.
The reason why I haven’t called him back is because he would want to see me in person. I can’t do that. I can’t look at my brother in the eyes. All he would see is a murder. I ended up killing a girl yesterday. Tanner wouldn’t look at me the say way.
I looked out the window and laid my head up against the glass. I just wish that there was a cure. I hate being a vampire. I hate having to crave on blood, even though it tastes so good, I hate it. That’s why I’m trying to drink from blood bags or live off of animal blood, but ever since I drank that girls blood, I’ve wanted nothing more that to do it again.
“Well, I see that you are crying again.” Eli said,handing me a blood bag. “Is it about that girl, again?” I wiped my tears.
“Kinda.” I said, opening the blood bag and started to drink. “Tanner called me today.”
“What did he say?” Eli knew I wouldn’t answer the phone to anyone, but him.
“Jade’s in labor. I’m gonna be an aunt soon.” Another tear fell from my cheek. “And I can’t be there because I’m not strong enough to resist blood. I hate being this-this monster!” I covered my eyes and cried some more.
“I know. I never wanted you to have this life, but your curse was broken once you died. Vampire blood can only go so far. It can’t cure curses, but it can give you a second chance at life. Think about your niece and nephew. Think about your brother. You did it to be with them longer and now, you can.” He came up and I felt him wrap his arms around me. “I know this isn’t the life style you wanted, but you can do this. You can fight the craving for blood. It might take some time, but think of all the good reasons to why. You still have a family left, I don’t.”
“I’m trying to, but these emotions are everywhere. I can’t take it!” I yelled. “I just want to turn them off, but then I wouldn’t care about my family and I can’t do that.”
“Don’t ever shut off your humanity. You’ll regret it. I did once, and it took me a long time to get it back.”
“I won’t. I know what happened with your brother. I’m not going to let it happen to me.”
“Promise me you’ll never go the easy way, just deal with your emotions like a human would.”
“I promise.”
If you can’t wait to finished this book, you can always find it on Wattpad, just look up my user name, katieasehl. Not only will you find Unclear, but other books that I have been working on. 

Chapter 17:
https://katiesblog96971617.com/2018/07/23/my-writing-unclear-new-life-chapter-17/

Posted in Gaming

The Sims Saga: Which Do I Prefer?

Image result for the sims

When you here the game Sims, what comes to mind? I think about The Sims games, creating a character and controlling their life. A lot of people forget that the Sims first originated from SimCity, where you created a city and made sure that it was successful.

I’m not going to talk about SimCity, though. This is mainly about The Sims. I’ll be honest, I’ve never actually played the Sims, but for it’s time, it was amazing. To be able to control their life, made them do whatever our hearts wanted them to do.

It was like GTA, but without the violence and free will to move your Sim manual. You could even create your dream house, have a family, or get the job of your dreams. When I got hooked, it wasn’t with the first The Sims, it was The Sims 2.

The Sims 2

Image result for the sims 2

The first time I saw The Sims 2, was when I was on YouTube. I had came across it and it was recommend to me. A lot of people actually used The Sims 2 game, to create movies or series, or what got me hooked on, was the teen pregnancy series.

You must think that I’m weird to like to watch them, but seriously, look up the series ‘My Life’. The creator of that series, she really got me to thinking that I wanted to do something creative like that. If you actually watch her series, from her very first episode, to her newer ones, she has come a long way.

The Sims 2 had more to offer, as well. There were more add-on’s to the game, such as the different seasons, hobbies, and even jobs. It made the game play more like real life.

I finally had a chance to buy it for myself, and I am currently, trying to learn how to film and make a good series, that I will post on my YouTube channel.

Even if you aren’t trying to make a series, its a great way to past the time on a rainy day. Hell, I even when forward and created my fiance, son, daughter, and myself into the game. I highly recommend getting this game! It’s the best of both worlds.

Now, let’s talk about its, aftermath…The Sims 3.

The Sims 3

Image result for the sims 3

I’m going to try my best not to bash this game. It wasn’t a bad sequel to The Sims 3. They added a lot of new things, such as making it easier to custom clothes and items, you didn’t have to wait for loading times to get from one place to another, and you could follow your Sim to work, the hospital, etc.

There was one BIG issue with this game. It is SO buggy. If you didn’t have the best computer in the world, you were bugging because your game would lag. Brand new or with mods, it would lag, or the loading time would take forever. Especially if you are in create-a-sim.

To me, the creators wanted to get this game out, as soon as possible because of the high demand that The Sims 2 was, so they did rush it, a little, by adding some stuff that the other games never had.

The one thing that I LOVED about it, was that you could follow your Sim anywhere without having to deal with those loading screens and the way you could custom, almost everything.

The Sims 3 was the first Sims game that I have ever own and I had the season, pets, and supernatural packs that made the game play so much fun! I wonder, now that I have a better computer, if it would run better?

Last, but not least, let’s get to the newer Sims game that came out in the last few years, The Sims 4.

The Sims 4

Image result for the sims 4

Again, this is another game I haven’t touched, yet, and I have looked into seeing if it is really worth getting, but to me, the creators went back a couple steps. You think with a newer game, it would be better and would fix the problems from the last game, well, they did, but not very well.

I have heard that the game play is okay, graphics are okay, etc. It is missing A LOT from The Sims 3 game. You have loading screens for EVERYWHERE you go, even if you are going to the next door neighbor.

It’s not as buggy or laggy, as The Sims 3 was, but they had to get rid of a lot of stuff, in order to fix it, which a lot of people were disappointed in. The Sims 4, seems to me, boring. Just because they didn’t add anything new that would make us get excited.

Although, they did add a pack that basically makes you do your Sims job. Which was something that we could do in the other games, but I would rather just fast-forward my Sim’s job, then doing it, I’m already controlling pretty much them, why should I have to do their work for them?

Which is worth playing?

Image result for the sims

The Sims 2, hands down. I would recommend it to everyone. It plays great on Windows 10, there is a few glitches, but it’s still playable. I like how the Sims are in this game and how you can do so much.

Plus, it still has that SimCity feeling to it, so that I could make my own town, I could. I am hoping to get a few more packs, just to play around with it some more. I do have the the Late Night and University packs, so I am hoping to either get Pets or Seasons next.

If you are a Sims fan, which game do you prefer? Leave a comment down below! There has also been a rumor that they are working on The Sims 5, do you thinks they should have another Sims? If so, what do you think they need to improve or leave alone?

Posted in Unclear

Unclear – The Last Long Love (Chapter 15)

Image result for katieasehl wattpad

Good morning! What a great way to start your day with a little Unclear! Sadly, only 5 more chapters left! If you are one of my readers that has been reading this on every Monday and Friday, I need your help! Should I make a sequel or just show another story? 

If you haven’t read Chapter 14, here is the link!
https://katiesblog96971617.com/2018/07/13/my-writing-unclear-maries-hope-chapter-14/

~The Last Long Love~

Marie P.O.V.
“Y-You’re here?!?” I coughed again, this time there was blood coming out. I was dying and it was starting now.
“I finally found you. After two years of searching, I found you.” Eli said, coming closer to my side of the bed. Sitting down next to me, taking his hand and feeling my cheek. His hands were cold, but that’s because he’s dead. A vampire.
“I thought you were a goner when you were trapped in that house fire.” Tears started to my eyes, remember that night was torture. Deep down, I did love Eli, but he didn’t find out that I was dying until that very night when I told him. Sadly, vampires can’t have children with the living, they must be a vampire in order to have any young.
“No, I escaped in time, but was very weak. It took me a long time to heal myself, after that, I went off in searching for you.” He said, wiping my tears away. God, was he was just as beautiful as the day I first met him. “I love you, Marie. When I got here, I was told that you were in the hospital, dying, but I can help you.”
“Please help her. She’s my only family after our parents left.” My brother spoke out, but he was right, ever since our parents left, he was the only family that I had left. But he wouldn’t be alone, he has two unborn children on the way and I know for a fact that he will be a amazing father. “What can you do to help her?”
“Well, I can try two things,” Eli paused and looked up at Tanner and Jade. “One, is I give her my blood and see if she heals.”
“Okay, what is the second thing?” Jade asked.
“I’d give her my blood and if it didn’t heal her, she would become a vampire, like myself.” Eli said those last words, I didn’t think he would let me become a vampire. He wanted me to enjoy my human life, since he was unable to enjoy his.
“Wait, if she turns into one of you, she won’t be able to stand in sunlight? Or can’t be around holy water? And have to survive on just blood?” Tanner sounded worried.
“My friend, she will be fine. I’ll teach her everything she knows. I also have a ring that allows her to walk in the sunlight.” Eli said as I coughed again, harder and more blood started to come out. Eli grabbed a towel and handed it to me. “She’s getting worse. A few more coughs like that and she might be dead.”
“But what if I become a horrible beast that might feed on my niece and nephew? And don’t ever stop.” I asked. That was the only thing that I was worried about. I didn’t want to become a monster that hurts everyone in my path. I can’t do that.
Eli pushed my hair out of my face and I looked into his eyes. “I won’t let you get like that, my love. I’ll make sure of it.” He kissed my cheek and looked up at Tanner. “It’s her choice if she wants to change. I won’t force her to do anything, but just remember that she won’t be the same after this transformation. Because of this, once she is changed, I’m going to take her far away from here and help her get over her craving for blood, so that when your children are born, neither you or your family will be put to harm.”
Tanner walked over to me and kissed my forehead. “It’s your choice, but I would want you to be there for my unborn children. If you think you can do it, I’ll support you.”
“I want to change.” I coughed harder again. Eli then bit his wrist and fed me his blood. Once I started, I couldn’t stop. Then Eli pulled away.
“You must let me take her away from here now, otherwise you’ll have to watch her go in pain and die.” Eli said as Tanner nodded ‘yes’. He picked me up and we were gone, just like that.
“It hurts!” I yelled. My heart felt like it just exploded. I couldn’t breathe or move. I just laid there in pain. “Just kill me!”
“Love, it is. I can kill you, but I don’t want to hurt you like that. It’s almost over.” Eli said. Then my vision became blurry. Everything stopped. I didn’t feel alive anymore. I felt dead.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Eli’s P.O.V.
Her transformation was complete. It was only a matter of days of when she would awaken as a vampire. I grabbed her phone and dialed the number that was her brothers.
“Marie! Are you alright?” He answered
“It’s me, Eli. And she has just finished her transformation.”
“Okay, but when can I see her again?”
“Well, once she wakes up, I’ll teach her to survive on blood bags. Then I’ll have to teach her to refrain from killing any humans. It really depends on how strong she can maintain it.”
“And how long will that take?” He asked. I knew this question couldn’t be answered right on. It all depends on Marie and how she changes.
“I can’t say for sure, but I will make sure that she contacts you when she is awake. It could be months or even years. It all depends on her. I’ll keep you updated.”
“Please take care of her, she is the only one I have left.” Then he hung up. I then placed her phone down and walked over to the window.
I can’t believe that I changed her. I wanted her to live a wonderful human life, but after that curse that was placed on her, she might not wake up for weeks. I love her, but I never wanted her to have this life. The only thing I can do now is help her, so that she doesn’t do the same mistake that I did years ago.
That might take a very long time. I just hope that she won’t change to become a completely different person. Just like my brother did.

Next chapter will be out on Friday! If can’t wait and want to keep reading, my book, Unclear, is on Wattpad! Just search katieasehl, and you will not only find Unclear, but other works that I written or are currently working on. 

Chapter 16: It’s Time
https://katiesblog96971617.com/2018/07/20/my-writing-unclear-its-time-chapter-16/

Posted in Unclear

Unclear – Marie’s Hope (Chapter 14)

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Happy Friday! Here is another chapter to start your day off on a good note! Enjoy!

If you haven’t read Chapter 13, here is the link!
https://katiesblog96971617.com/2018/07/09/my-writing-unclear-whats-going-on-chapter-13/

~Marie’s Hope~

Marie’s P.O.V.
I woke up in the hospital. I guess I fainted, but I knew what was happening. I was dying. Nothing could save me now. Nothing could. I looked over to see my brother and Jade by the side of the bed. Tanner was holding my hand.
“How you feeling?” Jade asked as my brother looked up and saw that I was awake. How long had I been out for?
“I feel…Weak.” I said. I did. Every bone in my body felt cold, like I was starting to die. I can’t die. Not now.
“As long as you are alive, that’s all that matters.” Tanner said and kissed the top of my forehead. “Do you want something to eat? I’m gonna go down to the cafe and get some coffee.”
“If they have sour cream and onion chips, that would be great.” I said. Tanner looked over to Jade and she replied, “Water and maybe just some fruit.” As he left the room, Jade sat down in the chair that Tanner was sitting in.
“You are going to be a wonderful mother. I can already see it.” I said, then coughed. “You’re good for my brother. I haven’t seen him this happy in a long time.”
“Thank you, and you will be a wonderful godmother.” Once Jade spoke those words, my eyes watered. She is letting me be a godmother? The only thing that’s wrong with that is that I won’t be there for my niece and nephew. As soon as she saw me crying, she spoke again. “Please don’t cry, I wasn’t trying to make you cry, I just wanted you to know. I haven’t told Tanner yet.”
“I’m crying because I won’t even make it threw the night. Tonight is my last night on this Earth. Nothing can save me. Unless, no, that won’t work.” I coughed again, this time I felt that I was coughing up a lung.
“What? Tell me, anything that might be able to save your life. I’ll do anything.” Jade asked. The only way that I could escape death would be to drink a vampire’s blood, but their are none in the area. I’ve checked.

“It won’t work, Jade. There are no vampire’s in town.” I said as Tanner came in.
“What about them?” Tanner asked, giving Jade her water and fruit and me my sour cream and onion chips. “They aren’t real.”
“So you think.” I said. “They are real, one of my good friend’s is one, but he lives very far away.” As I said that a strange guy walked into the room. I knew exactly who he was. Eli Litton.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Such a cliffhanger! Next chapter will be out on Monday! If you can’t wait until then, you can always go to Wattpad and search katieasehl, you will find Unclear and other works that I have worked on or what I am currently working on. Unclear is slowly coming to an end and I want to know if I should make a sequel or just post one of my other works. 

Chapter 15: The Last Long Love
https://katiesblog96971617.com/2018/07/16/my-writing-unclear-the-last-long-love-chapter-15/

Posted in Wrestling (WWE)

WWE Smackdown Superstar of the Week – The Miz

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The Miz, ‘looking like a blind nun.’ A quote that Dwayne Johnston said to him when he visited Raw.

Every time we hear ‘AWESOME’, we know who’s coming out to the ring. The Miz has been with the WWE for over 10 years. He has won our heart and made us want to choke him, at times.

Miz, along side his wife Maryse, they have been the ‘must see couple’ of WWE. I rather see them than Rusev and Lana. The difference between the two is that the Miz and Maryse shows how much in love they really are.

The Miz is known for being the Intercontinental Champion, but he no longer carries the title. However, he is known to start trouble. It’s wither his way or the high way. Right now, the Miz doesn’t have a huge part in WWE because he just had his newborn daughter.

Image result for the miz baby

I believe every wrestler on the roster knows how hard it is to see family. The Miz has always been a heel, maybe they can bring him back into a baby face. I don’t think that will happen, just because of the fact that he’s known to always be a heel.

The is one match that I’m hoping to see that involves the Miz. When both brands switched off and became separate, Shane McMahon got Smackdown and he chose Daniel Bryan as his General Manager.

The Miz was drafted to Smackdown, and he had a lot of beef with Daniel Bryan, to the point that we all wished Daniel could wrestle again so that he could kick his ass. Now that Daniel has been cleared for wrestling, we are all waiting for the match between Daniel Bryan and the Miz.

Image result for the miz and daniel bryan

As I said above, The Miz is married to Maryse and this year, they just had their first litttle girl, Monroe. I thought it was funny that they got pregnant, almost right after when John Cena asked if he was shooting out blanks.

Here, as always, is his list of titles while he has been in the WWE:

  • WWE Championship – 1 time
  • WWE Intercontiental Championship – 8 times
  • WWE United States Championship – 2 times
  • WWE Tag Team Championship w/ John Morrison  (1), Big Show (1), John Cena (1), and Damien Mizdow (1) – 4 times
  • World Tag Team Championship w/ John Morrison (1) and Big Show (1) – 2 times
  • Mixed Match Challenge – w/ Asuka
  • Money in the Bank winner – 2010

Next Wednesday, I have a surprise for all of you, we are going to talk about a Superstar that EVERYONE knows, or show know. Stay tuned for the Superstar of the Month!

Posted in Unclear

Unclear – It’s a…. WHAT?? (Chapter 11)

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Good Morning! We are finally in the month of July! I feel like this year has gone by so fast, so far. Anyway, here is another chapter of my book. In this chapter, we find out the sex of the baby! Enjoy and prepared to be shocked!

If you haven’t read Chapter 10, here is the link!
https://katiesblog96971617.com/2018/06/29/my-writing-unclear-5-months-chapter-10/

~It’s a ….. WHAT?~

Tanner’s P.O.V. 
Jade and I were waiting at the doctor’s office. Today, we are going to find out the sex of the baby. I have a feeling that it’s gonna be a girl. A boy would be nice too, but I have a feeling it’s going to be a girl.
Jade was looking through some magazines. As I looked over at her, she looked so beautiful. It’s been starting to get hard with her bump in the way, but I love it. She then looked up at me and smiled. I smiled back.
“Jade Roy?” One of the nurses called her name and we got up and followed her to one of the ultrasound rooms. Jade grabbed my hand as we walked into the room. “The doctor will be right in.” Then the nurse left. It was silence for a little bit until Jade spoke up.
“I’m nervous.” She said. “And excited. I just hope that nothing is wrong with the baby.” I hugged her tightly, but not too tightly. I didn’t want to put too much pressure on the baby.
“I am too.” I answered as I looked down at her. “Everything with be fine, I promise.” She then kissed me on the cheek and sat down on the table.
“Hello, Jade. How are we feeling today?” As the doctor walked in and looked up at Jade and I. “You must be the father.” As we shook hands. Then he went right back to Jade. “Are you ready to know what your baby is?”
“Yes, I’m nervous and excited.” Jade answered as she laid down on the table and pulled up her shirt, showing her belly.
“Don’t be nervous, I’m sure that everything will be just fine.” He smiled at her, then put some gel stuff on her belly. “And do you want to know what the sex of your baby is? Or do you want it to be a surprise?”
“Yes. Sooner I know, the sooner I can shop for him or her.” Jade said and the doctor smiled. Then there it was. Our baby. Once I heard the heartbeat, I kissed the top of Jade’s forehead. She was smiling, almost about to cry.
“There’s your baby. That’s the head. A hand. Looks like she’s waving to you too.” The doctor said as I smiled.
“It’s a girl?” I asked. I had the biggest smiled on my face.
“Yes, it is.” The doctor replied. Then his expression changed. “Wait a minute. There’s another heartbeat.” My eyes widen and I looked down at Jade, she was surprised.
“You mean there’s another baby?” She asked.
“Yes, you’re having twins.” The doctor then showed us the other baby. “He looks like he was hiding. I’m surprised I didn’t see him the first time I gave you an ultrasound.”
“A girl and a boy?” Jade asked. “But that’s impossible. No one on my side of the family has ever had twins.”
“Well, you see, having twins is rare, but not impossible. It doesn’t matter if your family has had twins, you could’ve had two eggs that were fertilized. I understand that this is shocking, but look at the bright side. You both have two perfectly healthy babies.” He explained, then he got up and walked over to the door. “I’m be right back. I’m going to get you some copies of your babies.” Then he exited.
“Twins, wow.” I said. Jade looked over to me. She was already shocked that I got her pregnant, but now we have, not just one, but two babies! I don’t know about her, but I’m so happy! “Hey, I know that this was a surprise, but think of it this way, at least you don’t have to get pregnant a second time.” She started to laugh.
“I guess you’re right. It’s not like these babies won’t be loved any less. I’m just glad you talked me into agreeing to get a 3 bedroom house.” She smiled. I laughed. I then went over to her and pressed my lips against hers.
“I won’t ever leave you. I promise that I’ll be here for you and our children until the very end.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lucas’s P.O.V.
Sitting in this shithole, while that crazy freak tries to put a love spell on me, or whatever, is pissing me off. I need to find this guy who got my girl pregnant. He’s a dead man when I get out of here. When I get out of here.
I got to think of a plan to get me the hell out of here. I need to see her. The only thing that I did have, that could get me out, was my pocket knife, my father gave me when I turned 12. That bitch fucking took it from me. Speak of the devil here she is.
“Well, well, you do look rather cozy in there.” She spoke. I ignored her. There’s no way in hell that I’m going to fuck her, just so she can live.
“When the hell are you going to let me out? And give me back my fucking knife! My father gave that to me!” I yelled.
“Soon, my love.” She then pulled her phone out of her pocket and answered it. “Hey Tanner. So how did it go?”
“WHAT? TWINS? Are you serious?” She was surprised. Wait, she did mention that Jade was going to find out the sex of the baby today. Oh shit, if she has twins, this will be perfect. If I escape, I was take her with me to my family’s old farm house. And we’ll raise those two babies together. This is perfect.
“A girl and a boy? Congratulations big bro! Listen, I’m kinda studying for a big test for college. I’ll talk to you later, okay? I love you, bye.” And she hung up the phone. “How is that possible? I thought that there was only one girl?” She then looked up at me.
“Well, it sounds to me, that my girl has been very naughty.” I said. “Sounds, like I could help you, but only if you let me out of here.”
“Tomorrow. I’ll let you out tomorrow, but you must agree that you will not harm my brother or those babies. They are not yours and never will be yours.” She gave me an evil look. “I mean it. They are the only family that I’ve got, since my parents walked out on me.”

Another chapter will be up on Friday! If you are too impatient and don’t want to wait for another chapter, you can always check out my story on Wattpad, just search my name katieasehl and you will find Unclear and other stories as well. We are about halfway done with Unclear. I haven’t written a squeal, its been in my thoughts, but I will ask for you guys advice on if I should make another one or not. Of course, let’s finish the book first, before you advised me to make another one or not. 

Chapter 12: He’s Coming For Me
https://katiesblog96971617.com/2018/07/06/my-writing-unclear-hes-coming-for-me-chapter-12/

 

Posted in Unclear

Unclear – 5 Months (Chapter 10)

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Happy Friday! Here is a another *sigh* short chapter. I’m sorry that they have been short lately. Here it is though! Enjoy!

If you haven’t read Chapter 9, here is the link!
https://katiesblog96971617.com/2018/06/25/my-writing-unclear-the-father-is-chapter-9/

~5 Months~

Jade’s P.O.V.
I’ve started to get a baby bump. Tanner thinks that it’s cute, but I think that once I get even more bigger, things are going to be difficult for me. I can no longer wear jeans and the only thing that actually fits is sweat pants or leggings.
Tanner and I have been looking for a place of our own. We haven’t told anyone, yet. I know his sister might be a little upset, after what Tanner told be about their parents and how they just left. Lately, he says that she’s been busy with painting, I guess. As long as she’s busy, she won’t be able to question us.
Today was a big day, though. We had just found a place and we also have a doctor’s appointment to find out what the sex of the baby is. I’m really excited! I hoping for a girl and Tanner is too. He told be he always wanted a little girl to call his own. He also said that a boy would be nice too.
As I finished packing the last box, Tanner took it and packed it in the back of the trunk. Savannah was holding Ricky when I came back in.
“I’m really going to miss you.” She said. Tears falling down from her eyes. We were basically like sisters, after my father and sister died. “You’ll always have a place here and if you ever need me, call me. Ok?” I hugged her and Ricky. Gave Ricky a little kiss on the check.
“I will too.” I said as I let go of her. I then looked at Ricky. “You be a good boy for your mama, okay? Maybe if you are good, Auntie might come over on Christmas Day.”
Ricky had the biggest smile and then I grabbed him from Savannah and hugged him. “Auntie, can you bring him too?” As he pointed up to Tanner in the doorway. Ever since Tanner has been coming around, Ricky really likes him. They would do all kind of stuff together. It was really cute and it made me feel like he was the one.
“Only if you are a good boy.” I said and he smiled and shook his head yes. “I love you, buddy.” He then hugged me back. Then he ran over to Tanner and hugged him too.
Once everyone got their hugs and kisses, Tanner and I got into the truck and left to our new place.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Next chapter will be out on Monday! If you are too impatient to wait, Unclear is avaible on Wattpad. Just look up my username katieasehl. That is where you will find other stories I have written. 

Chapter 11: Its A… What!?
https://katiesblog96971617.com/2018/07/02/my-writing-unclear-its-a-what-chapter-11/

 

Posted in Unclear

Unclear – The Father Is? (Chapter 9)

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Good morning, guys! Here is another chapter of Unclear for you! Now, I won’t be on at all today because it is my son’s birthday and it is a very difficult day for me and my family. I have this scheduled to appear for today. Anyway, I did actually Google if you can get a paternity test while pregnant, which you can, its just really dangerous, or Google was wrong and now I just sound dumb. I think I just wanted to let you readers know who it is so that we can move on from this ‘love triangle’ we have going on. Enjoy!

If you haven’t read Chapter 8, here is the link!
https://katiesblog96971617.com/2018/06/22/my-writing-unclear-it-was-me-chapter-8/

~The Father Is?~

Jade’s P.O.V.
A week later, I was finally called into the doctors office. They had finished the DNA testing to see who the father was. I told Tanner that I wanted to go by myself and that I would tell him when I left the doctors office.
I sat in the waiting room, waiting. Why the hell is it taking so damn long? I honestly thought that they were going to send it in the mail, but I guess not.
“Jade Roy?” A nurse finally came out and called my name. I got up and followed her to my doctor’s office. My doctor was sitting at his office chair, with my file on hand. I sat down in one of the two chairs that sat in front of his desk. The nurse then closed the door.
“How are you feeling, Jade?” Doctor Locke asked.
“Fine.” I answered. I just wanted to know who the father was. “Why didn’t you just send me the results?”
“Well, I thought that it would be better if you got the results in person.” Doctor Locke then pulled out the paper and handed it to me. “Mr. James Miles had a lot of drugs in his system that we couldn’t really get a good test from. However, Mr. Tanner Homes DNA showed that he is in fact the father of your child.”
I looked down at the paper. He was right. Tanner is the father. I couldn’t believe it.
“Wait, why does it say that for James?” I asked because on the paper, next to his name, it said that it wasn’t possible for him to ever have kids. “Why did you test them both to see if they were able to have children or not?”
“Well, you see. We needed to find out first if Mr. Miles and Mr. Homes could have kids. Mr. Homes could, but unfortunately Mr. Miles can not.” he explained, but I still didn’t understand. “We do this with every paternity test and if they are able to have children, then we take their blood and test it.”
“Well, thanks anyway, Locke.” I said as I got up and went over to the door. I then looked back at him. “Wait.” He said as he stood up from his seat. “Be careful, he’s coming for you.”
I knew who he was talking about because Mr. Locke was my doctor when they did the rape kit for me. I just wanted to forget all about it, but I can’t. I need to find a place of my own and soon. Otherwise, he’ll threaten Kayla and little Ricky. First things first, I need to tell Tanner that he is the father.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tanner’s P.O.V.
I ended up going to see James, he said he had the money he owed me. I just hope that this time, he wasn’t going to give me cocaine as a payment, again. I don’t do that because my best friend, Thomas, died from cocaine. That’s why I only grow and sell pot. I do smoke it, but since I found out that I might be a father, I’ve stopped. I’ve just been selling. Jade knows because she used to smoke too.
I knocked on James’ door and then walked in. I saw him on the couch, fucking some girl. I then looked at him and he knew that I was going to let him finish first. I just hope that Jade doesn’t come over while he’s doing that.
I sat down at the island in the kitchen and waited. I then heard the moans come to a stop and then James walked in with just sweatpants on. He then opened the fridge and grabbed a beer.
“You got my money?” I asked. He better because most of the money I’ve been making, I’ve put away in the bank for the baby, just in case it’s mine. “Who’s that in the living room?”
“Yeah, I got it.” He said as he reached in his pockets and pulled out $300 dollars. “Here. There’s a little extra for maybe a bag.”
“Yeah, I guess, but none of this I.O.U crap,  I’m not letting you have a tab anymore. From now on, you’ll pay me in cash and only cash.” I said as I took the money and counted $300 exactly. Then the girl that James was having fun with, came in with his tee shirt on and underwear.
“I got it, man. ” James said, taking another sip of beer. “And this is Becky, my girlfriend.” He hugged her and gave her a kiss on the check. She smiled and then went back out to the living room.
“You haven’t told Jade?” I asked.
“No, and she don’t need to know.” He then grabbed a bottle of Gin and started drinking it straight up. He should’ve told her. Before you know it, she is going to find out the hard way. “She never cared, so why should I? And besides, I can’t have kids so the baby is gonna be yours.”
“You can’t have kids? Who told you that?” I was surprised.
“Jade’s doctor. He said that the reason why I didn’t have to do blood work is because I can never have kids. Which is fine with me, I can always adopt a China baby.” He started laughing and laughing. “Jade’s better off with you than me. Just look at me. I’m a mess and you have you’re not. Can I have more pot or what?”
“Here.” I gave him a bag of pot and left.
As I got into my truck, Jade was calling me. As soon as I closed my truck door I answered.
“Hello?”
“Hey, so I found out.”
“Yeah? Is it mine or James.” I had a feeling that I already knew it was mine, but then again, James was drunk and doesn’t know what he was saying half the time.
“It’s yours. James’ can’t have children.” Once she said those words, the biggest smile came on my face. “I also have a question.”
“Shoot.”
“Do you think that it would be a good idea if we were to live together? For the baby’s sake.” Really? I mean, I was going to ask, but I thought that it might be too soon, I mean, what’s the worst that could happen?
“Yeah, if you want to. I’m all for it. Do you want me to come over and we can start looking for a place?” I asked.
“Yeah, meet me at my house in 10?”
“I’ll be there.”
“I’ll be waiting. Oh, and one more thing.”
“Yes?”
“I’m really glad that the baby is yours.” And then she hung up.
I couldn’t believe that I am going to be a father. I really can’t believe it. I was so happy that I ended up beating her home. I sat in my truck and waited for Jade to get out of her car.
“I promise, little one, that I will always be there for you. Always and forever.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Marie’s P.O.V.
“LET ME OUT YOU CRAZY BITCH!” Lucas said as he was banging on the bars and trying to open them, but there was no point.
“Don’t get your panties in a bunch.” I said as I was looking into the mirror. Trying to see if there was another way for me to break this curse. Then it hit me. Why don’t I use Lucas to create my child? I then looked over at him, he was pissed. “Now, I have a question for you.”
“What now? First you promised me that I would get Jade, then told me she killed my baby, and then locked me up because she’s pregnant with some fags baby??” He said. “What more do you want from me?”
“I need you. I have a deal that I want to make with you.” I said, walking back to my spell book. “Since, she killed your baby and broke your heart. I can make you forget her.”
“Here it comes.” He said crossing his arms.
“But, I need to have a child, otherwise I will die. So, what I was thinking…” I paused and then looked up at him. “I make you fall deeply in love with me that you’ll forget her. Then we can run off together. One big happy family.”
“You think that anyone would ever fall in love with a freak like you? Ha!” He started laughing and that pissed me off more. I then came to the cage and grabbed his throat. Lifted him off his feet and then started to choke him.
“Unfortunately, you don’t have a choice. You are going to fall in love with me and you will forget all about Jade. Then we are going to have a child. Got it?” I then left go of his neck and he fell to the ground. “Oh, and if you wanted a son or daughter, I can make that happen, as well. Or we can just have both.”
I than walked over to my spell book and read over how I was going to make him forget about her. All I need is a piece of her hair, which I already had, and a piece of his hair. I walked back over and plunked a hair from his head.
“Now, while you are recovering from the chokehold that I just gave you, I will be creating this love potion that you will drink.” I said as I started to go down the stairs. “Oh, one more thing. You can scream as loud as you want, but no one will hear you .” I grinned and started to laugh.

Next chapter will be out on Friday and it won’t be scheduled, like today’s was. Thank you guys for reading and as always, if you can’t wait for the next chapter, you can always read my book Unclear on Wattpad. Just look up katieasehl or Unclear and you will find all the books that I have written or currently working on. 

Chapter 10: 5 Months
https://katiesblog96971617.com/2018/06/29/my-writing-unclear-5-months-chapter-10/

Posted in Unclear

Unclear – It Was Me (Chapter 8)

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Happy Fridays! I am really sorry how these chapters are becoming very short! I think I was having a writers block, around this time. There was a lot going on, but then again, I started this back in high school and never really fixed it, but I am hoping to fix it after I finish one of my other books. Enjoy!

If you haven’t read Chapter 7, here is the link!
https://katiesblog96971617.com/2018/06/18/my-writing-unclear-3-months-chapter-7/

~It Was Me~

Jade’s P.O.V.
The next day, Tanner called and asked if I wanted to go to the library. He knew how much I loved to read. I was really excited because I wanted to get started on some reading about the baby. Tanner picked me up and we drove to Medow Lane Library.
“You know who my favorite author is?” I asked Tanner as we walked in and started looking at the books.
“Let me guess, you are a Stephen King fan?” Tanner smiled. I smiled back. I did like Stephen King. I would have to say that the Green Mile was my favorite.
“I do like him, but he isn’t my favorite. Sarah Dessen is.” I then pulled out one of my favorite books that she has written, Lock and Key. “This is my most favorite one that she’s written.”
“Well, I perfer reading Stephen Kings ‘The Green Mile’.” Once he said that, my mouth dropped and then I smiled.
“I love that one. I really like the movie, Tom Hanks did very well in it, but Mr. Jingles was my favorite.” I said. We laughed when I said Mr. Jingles.
“We should watch it together sometime.” He asked as we were checking out the books. “Maybe we can watch it tomorrow after your doctors appointment?”
“Sure, do you want to come with me? To my appointment?” I smiled.
“If you want me to go, I’ll go with you.” He answered. “I can pick you up if you would like.”
“I’d like that.” I smiled as we walked out of the library into Tanner’s truck. Then my phone started to go off. The caller I.D. was an ‘unknown’ caller. I didn’t answer because I knew it was James trying to talk to me again. I didn’t want to talk to him because I knew what he was doing. Drinking and doing drugs. I didn’t want to be around that and if this was his baby, I didn’t want my child to be around that. “It’s James, again.”
“I thought you blocked his number?” Tanner asked.
“I did. He’s using a different number. He started doing that about a week ago.”
“Well, he did call me last night.”
“He did?”
“Yeah, he needed me to tell you that a guy named Lucas Miller was bailed out of jail. James said he killed your sister and rapped a minor.” Once Tanner mentioned Lucas’ name, he could tell that Lucas and I had a history. A very bad history.
“No. That’s impossible.” I said. Tears started to fall from my eyes. “Can I tell you something? You can’t tell anyone I told you.”
“Of course you can. I promise.” He said. I had a feeling that I could trust him with anything. If I did want a relationship with him, I should at least tell him about what happened with Lucas.
“After we got the news that my father died, my sister got really depressed, to the point where she got a new groups of friends and started partying, drinking, and doing drugs. That’s how she met Lucas. He was 21, at the time. He would provide everything. Mandy and him started dating, but she wouldn’t have sex with him because she knew that’s what he wanted.”
“Why didn’t she?” Tanner asked.
“She didn’t want to get him into jail. One weekend, my mother left to go visit my father’s parents to see how they were about their sons’ death. Lucas told Mandy that since my mother was gone for the weekend, that they should have a party.” I paused and looked up at Tanner. “While the party was going on, Lucas came into my room and gave me something to drink. I blacked out. When I woke up the next day, I was tied to my bed, naked, with Lucas laying next to me. I tried screaming, but he had gagged me.”
“I’m so sorry, Jade.”
“I’m not finished.” I said. “That was also the night that Lucas killed Mandy. He drove her into another car. She was dead when they found her. The police came in and saw me tied up and took him to jail. I had a rape kit done and Lucas was guilty for rape of a minor and the dead of my sister. He was sentence to 25 years in jail.”
“I won’t let that bastard touch you, ever.” I could see how angry Tanner was. He must really care about me.
“There’s one more thing.” I said as Tanner looked up from the truck floor to me. “I ended up getting pregnant and ending the pregnancy. Lucas thinks that I had the baby and that I kept it. I had to get rid of it. I was only 13 and I didn’t want to raise a child that the father had raped me.” Tanner came over and hugged me, so tight. I loved that he was comforting me. Especially after I told him about my past.
“Don’t worry. I’ll protect you, no matter what. He will never be around you ever again. I promise.” Tanner said as he kept hugging me in the truck.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Marie’s P.O.V.
“NO, Tanner!” I said, looking through my mirror. He was hugging Jade, promising that he would protect her from Lucas. This changes everything. When Tanner makes a promise, he means that promise.
“The hell you yelling at a mirror for?” Lucas asked, carving something out of wood. “When do I get to see her and my baby!?” He threw the knife on the ground and came up to me.
“Your baby gone! She got rid of it the moment she found out she was pregnant.”
“What? No, not my baby!” Lucas threw his hands in his hair. “How could she?”
“You raped her. Why would she keep it?” I said. I knew about Jade’s past a long time ago.
“She loved me. She would never do that to me! We belong together and you’re going to take me there, NOW!” Lucas said taking the knife and threating to kill me.

“You will, soon enough.” He then took the knife away from me and sat down on the couch. “Now, things have changed, since you have been in jail. She’s pregnant.”
“WHAT?! Who’s the father??”
“My brother. She doesn’t know and neither does my brother, but they will find out in a week.”
“How do you know this? You some kind of a freak?” He said. I hated that word. Everyone in high school always called me that, until my grandmother showed me the art of being a witch. I had the gift that my mother never got. I calmed down, I could hurt him. He could still be some use to me.
“I’m a witch and if you still want to see her, you better start being nicer to me.” I said and then created a jail cell with a bed, toliet, and sink. “Or, you can stay in your little cage, until I need you. Got it.”
“Yeah, yeah, how much longer do I have to wait for her?” Lucas asked.
“When I say so. I won’t let you take away my niece’s mother away from her.” I said. That pissed off Lucas. He then came witht the night to try to hurt me, but he missed and I transported him into the cage. “I’m alot stronger and smarter than you are.”
“You bitch! You lied!” Lucas yelled. “Get me the fuck out of here NOW!”
“No, I have a better idea on what I’m going to do with you.” I grinned. He might be the one who can give me the baby I need, before next year. I have to hurry soon, I only have 2 more full moons left.

Next chapter will be out on Monday at around 7am. That is also my son’s birthday, so I won’t be active on that day at all. I will have it scheduled in advance for you guys because the day is going to hard enough.

As always, if you don’t want to wait and for the next chapter, the book is on Wattpad. Just search katieasehl and you will find Unclear and a few other stories that I have on Wattpad. Thank you for reading! 

Chapter 9: The Father is?
https://katiesblog96971617.com/2018/06/25/my-writing-unclear-the-father-is-chapter-9/

 

Posted in Unclear

Unclear – 3 Months (Chapter 7)

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Happy Monday dearies! Another chapter is out! Enjoy!

If you haven’t read Chapter 6, here is the link!
https://katiesblog96971617.com/2018/06/15/my-writing-unclear-i-need-to-tell-them-chapter-6/

~3 Months~

I can’t believe that I’m pregnant. 3 months pregnant. I finally moved out of James’ house. I now live with Savannah, even tho I told her that I would try to move out before the baby s born and I’m so not going back to my mother’s house.
Tanner and I started hanging out more, he isn’t as bad as I thought he was. He’s really sweet and so kind. I think I’m starting to fall for him. I don’t know what it is, but I haven’t felt this way about anyone other than James, but James and I are better off as friends, unless the baby is his.
James’ still tries to call and text me, to the point where I changed my number completely. Plus, I heard that he started drinking more. Tanner saw him outside the gas station, drunk and begging for money. Honestly, he did it to himself. He shouldn’t of brought that up.
As I walked into the house, Savannah was sitting and watching T.V.. Ricky must be asleep for his nap. Savannah looked up at me as I closed the door.
“So, how did it go?” She asked.
“It went really good.” I answered and then sat next to Savannah.
“See? I told you Tanner was a nice guy!” She said changing the channel to MTV. Reruns of Silent Library was on, that was one of our favorite shows. “So what did you guys do?”
“Well, we went to go get lunch and they we ended up going to the mall for a little bit.” I answered, I really did have a good time and I honestly can’t wait see Tanner again.
“Wow, sounds like fun. You got a phone call from the doctors office, they wanted you to make sure you were okay to have the paternity test.”
“Yeah, I am. Did they say when they want Tanner and James to come down?” I’m so glad that they called today because I really want to know who the father really is. It’s driving me crazy!
“Whenever, they said. Basically, walk in and walk out.” She said. Great. How the hell am I going to let James know? He doesn’t have my number anymore. “Don’t worry, I already called James and told him. I knew it would be hard for you after he said that.”

 

“I couldn’t believe he brought him up.” I started to picture the fight we had in his living room. Tears were starting to form under my eyes.
“Jade, Lucas is locked up. He will never be able to get you, I will make sure of that. After what he did to you and your sister, I won’t let him anywhere near you.” Savannah gave me a hug and I started to cry.
Lucas Miller was Mandy’s boyfriend, at the time before she died. Mandy wouldn’t have sex until after high school, but Lucas kept pushing. One night, my sister had a little party for just her and her friends. My mother was visiting her parents and preparing for the funeral for my father. I was in my room playing the piano, when Lucas came in and gave me a drink.
I barely remember much from that night, than again, I never want to remember that night ever again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
James P.O.V.
It’s my fault that Jade left. I called her some stuff that isn’t even true about her. Especially, when I brought up her last pregnancy. I wouldn’t call that a pregnancy, ever. I’ve been drinking a lot more and started doing some pot and cocaine . They made me forget about Jade and I thought about my father.
Let’s just say that the way my father makes money, is wrong, but if he wants to star in porn films, be my guest. That’s why I left. I didn’t want to follow in my father’s footsteps, but look at me now, drinking and doing drugs.
I turned on the T.V. and started to roll a blunt. I was watching ‘That 70s Show’, until a reporter cut in the middle of the show.
“This just in, Lucas Miller  was just released from jail on bail. Miller was charged with rape of a minor and murder of Mandy Roy,  who was a victim of a drunk driving accident 10 years ago. More on this story at 5.”
Then it went back to the show, I lit my blunt and then picked up the phone to call Tanner, since Jade changed her number. I should at least be the nice guy to let her know. I owe her that much.
“Did you need more pot?” Tanner answered. I looked down at my coffee table, I was running low, but this is no time to do a drug deal.
“Later, but this is really important, it’s about Jade.” I said, taking another hit of my blunt.
“What about Jade?” He asked.
“You know about how her sister died, right?”
“Yeah, drunk driving accident, right?”
“Yes, but there is more to the story that the public doesn’t know.” I said putting down my blunt and taking a sip of my beer. “Lucas scared Jade for life. And now, he was just released out on bail. You got to let her know.”
“I will, and do you have my money? You still owe me $230 bucks, dude. I’m not gonna give you any more until you have paid me off completely. After that’s paid, no more loans from you anymore.” Then Tanner must of hung up the phone because the line went dead. Shit, how the hell am I going to get $230 dollars?!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Marie’s P.O.V
Lucas and I walked into my secret room. I had bailed him out, since I need him for my plan. I had to keep him hidden until it was time.
“So, are you going to tell me who you are?” Lucas asked, as he lit a cigarette.
“Marie and you are going to help me.” I said as I smiled. “There’s someone in the way of my happiness and you already killed her sister.”
Lucas looked up and his eyes grew big. He knew who I was talking about. I then walked to the mini fridge and handed him a beer.
“Well, then.” He said taking the beer and opening it. “Now, tell what has happened with my girl and my baby.” He grinned.

As always, if you can’t wait until Friday for another chapter, head on over to Wattpad, search my username (katieasehl). There, you will find Unclear and more written work that I have either finished or working on. Next chapter of Unclear is coming out Friday!

Chapter 8: It Was Me 
https://katiesblog96971617.com/2018/06/22/my-writing-unclear-it-was-me-chapter-8/

Posted in Unclear

Unclear – I Need To Tell Them (Chapter 6)

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I hope everyone’s Friday is wonderful! Of course it is! You are getting another chapter today! Sorry for the chapter being so short. Enjoy! 

If you haven’t read Chapter 5, here is the link! 
https://katiesblog96971617.com/2018/06/11/my-writing-unclear-uh-oh-chapter-5/

~I Need To Tell Them~

It just kept running through my mind, ‘You’re going to be a mother.’ All night long. I had called the doctors office and made an appointment the day before. After the doctor came in with my tests. She smiled and told me that I was going to be a mother.
I got up from Savannah’s guest room bed and got dressed. I then headed out to the kitchen to see Savannah playing with Ricky on the floor. I smiled when Savannah saw me walk in. I’m so glad to have her as a friend.
“How you feeling?” Savannah asked and Ricky smiled up at me.
“Well, it’s not the first time I was told I was pregnant. I just can’t believe that this is happening now.” I said as I placed my hands over my eyes. “How could I be so stupid?”
“You made a mistake. It happens. Nobody is perfect. Just look at me, I got pregnant my last year of high school. Did everyone hate me for it? Yes, but the best thing that happened to me, was Ricky.” She said and I looked down a Ricky. He looks so much like Savannah. “So, when are you going to tell them?”
“I don’t know, I though I could hide out here until the baby was born and then tell them.” I smiled.
“You can’t do that! First thing first, you need to have both of them take a paternity test. Then, you need to figure out who’s it is. And when that is all done, then we find out what you want to do with the baby.”
“I’m joking. I’m just scared, Van.” I then went over and pour myself a glass of milk.
“I know you are. I was too. And do you know who helped me out through my pregnancy? The one who kept my spirits up when my family abandoned me? You were. No one else was, but you. Now it’s my turn to be your guardian angel.”
“Thanks, Savannah.” We hugged and then I looked at her and questioned her. “Guardian angel?”
“Hey, I can be a little cheesy when I want to.” She said and we laughed. “If you don’t want to live with James, you are more than welcome to live here.”
“Thanks, Van. I think that might be a better idea, it’s really weird living with him. He always wants to talk about us.” I hugged her again, then my phone started to go off.
“Speak of the devil, is that him?” She asked, I shock my head yes. James texted me.
‘We need to talk. Now.’ As I reread what he said, I had a bad feeling about this.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I parked into the driveway of Jame’s house, well, it will be his by the end of the day. I got out of the car to notice that Tanner’s truck was parked right in front of the house. I took a deep breath and then enter the house.
Tanner and James were sitting, all eyes on me. I closed the door and then sat down as well.
“So, what did you want to talk about?” I asked. Tanner looked right at me and then spoke, “Well, why don’t you tell us what’s up?”
“Nothing is up. What the hell are you talking about?” I asked again. Did they already find out?
“Well,” James said and cleared his throat. “Marie was out with her friends and she saw you and Savannah buying some pregnancy tests.”
“W-what?” I was completely frozen.
“Are you pregnant?” Tanner asked. I looked in his eyes, god they were really cute. I couldn’t lie to those eyes.
“I found out yesterday, but I don’t know if-.” James’ cuts me off. “Wow, Jade. This is a low for you.”
“What is that suppose to mean?” I asked. What the hell? Why is he acting like this?
“Well, coming from a whore, such as yourself, you think that it’s okay to sleep around and get knocked up, again, and then lead but of us on.” I then noticed the Bud Light he had in his hands./
“That wasn’t my fault, James, and you know it.” Tears started to fall down from my cheeks. God, why did he have to bring that up?
“James, enough. Let her finish.” Tanner said and then stood up in front of James. Their faces were close enough, to the point that they might get into a fight. I then stood up as well. “After what you just did to her, I should beat the living shit out of you.”
“You know what? I’m going to get going.” I looked at James, “By the way, I’m moving out.” I then looked over at both of them, “Oh, I will be letting you guys know when you can find out if this baby is one of yours.” I then left. I needed some ice cream and some girls time.

Again, sorry for the short chapter. As always, if you don’t want to wait until Monday for another chapter, you can find me on Wattpad, katieasehl, and finish reading my book Unclear. I also have a few other books that are out on there as well! 

Chapter 7: 3 Months –
https://katiesblog96971617.com/2018/06/18/my-writing-unclear-3-months-chapter-7/

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Why I Don’t Co-Sleep

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I know reading the title already makes you want to voice your opinion about the topic. Some parents prefer co-sleeping, other, well, would rather not risk losing their bed. I, for one, do not co-sleep, here is why.

As a mom, giving into have your child sleep in bed for a night is one thing, is another thing when its every night. I don’t co-sleep with my daughter. My fiance and I both agreed that we would not allow our child to sleep in our bed unless they were sick or had a nightmare.

Since day one, my daughter has not slept in our bed with us and won’t start now. Having kids sleeping in our bed makes it difficult to spend time with our spouses. If its not a problem with you, great! For me its a different situation.

My fiance works second shift and we don’t get to see him very often. Him coming home to a kid-free bed, makes it easier for him to go to sleep. Me as well. I also have a fear that if my kids ever slept in our bed, one of us would roll over on them, which we both move around in our sleep a lot!

I want my kids to know from day one that they have a bed and that mommy and daddy’s bed isn’t where you go to sleep. They have their own bed for a reason. Plus, at ever doctors appointment, the doctor will remind me all the time that co-sleeping is a no, even though I have told him multiple times that I won’t and will not co-sleep.

They aren’t just saying it because that’s how they feel, they have to tell you because of the fact that so many babies die from being suffocated because of co-sleeping.

Now, if you are parents that do the whole co-sleeping, great! If it works for you, do it. I’m just voicing my opinion that I won’t ever really co-sleep. So, please don’t take it to heart that I’m telling you or trying to convince you otherwise.

Posted in Unclear

Unclear – Uh, Oh (Chapter 5)

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Happy Monday dearies! A beautiful day to have another chapter! As always, mature content might be in the scene, I can’t remember. I’m going to forewarn you, this is when the story starts to jump around, a lot. Happy Reading!

If you haven’t already read Chapter 4, here is the link! 
https://katiesblog96971617.com/2018/06/08/my-writing-unclear-whats-wrong-with-me/

~Uh, oh~

~One Month Later~
It was a sunny day for once, this week. It has been rainy for the past couple days. Since, the sun was finally shining out, Savannah and I made a plan to go shopping. I honestly didn’t feel the greatest, but being stuck inside all week because of the rain. I had to get outside. Plus, James has been bugging me about going out with him. I want to, but I just don’t know what I’m feeling right now. So, I’ve been kinda avoiding him.
As Savannah and I walked into Kmart, my stomach started to turn, again. It’s been like that for the past weeks or so. Savannah grabbed a shopping cart and looked up at me.
“Are you okay? You don’t look so well. Actually, you look like crap.” Savannah said as we started walking through Kmart.
“I don’t really know. I was fine, up until now. I feel like I’m gonna puke.” I said as I felt something coming up my throat. I ran to the restrooms as fast as I could. Once I got in a stall, that was it. I was puking for the 100th time.
After I was done, I heard the door open and saw Savannah’s high heels in front of the stall I was in. I opened the door and walked over to the skins and washed my hands and face. All I could taste was vomit.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to bring you home? We can go shopping another time, when your feeling better.” She said and I turned around to face her.
“No, I promised that we would hang out, and I’m not going to cancel it because I’m sick.” I said as we both walked out of the bathroom and headed down to the baby isle. Savannah wanted to check out some more cute outfits for her son, Ricky.
I started looking at some of the clothes as well. Then it hit me. Could I be pregnant? I makes complete sense. I haven’t been feeling good for the past few weeks. I’m tired and exhausted all the time. Plus the other day, I had a weird craving for tuna fish and I normal don’t even touch that stuff, but I do have to admit that it was really good.
I looked over to Savannah, she picked out a cute outfit that make me smile. ‘If Mommy can’t get what I want, Auntie will.’ That’s what the shirt said and I smiled to Savannah.
“That’s really cute. He will look so cute in it.” I said.
“I know! I think I’m gonna get it, its only 9 dollars.” As soon as she said that, my stomach started to turn again. What the hell!? It’s only been 11 minutes and I have to puke again? So, I ran to the restroom and puked, again. Then saw Savannah waiting for me outside the bathrooms.
“Okay, we need to talk. I think I know what’s wrong with you.” She then dragged me over to wear all of the medicines were. As we walked by, I noticed that we were in the isle with pregnancy test and prenatal stuff. “When’s the last time you had sex?”
“About a month ago, why?”
“With who?” She questioned me. I felt my face get red.
“With Tanner and then with James.”
“In the same day?!” She said shockingly.
“No, no, It was first Tanner and then it was James a week later.”
“Oh, okay. Well, were they protected?” I looked up at her and I honestly couldn’t remember. I was so drunk that I couldn’t even remember barely anything. I just wanted to cry, but I held it in.
Savannah hugged me and then said, “It’s okay, it happens. If you want, you can stay with me and Ricky.” Then she pulled away. “First thing we need to do is find out if you are pregnant, then we will take it day by day. You helped me, when I got pregnant and I’m gonna do the same for you.”
Then my phone started to go off. It was an unknown caller.
“Hello?” I answered.
“Is this Jade?” A male voice spoke.
“Yes this is. Who is this and what do you want?”
“It’s Frank, your stepfather.” What the hell did he want now? “Your mother is in the hospital.” My eyes got wide.
“What?! Where is she? How is she? And why are you calling me instead of my mom?”
“I called because your mother went into labor and lost both of the babies. She needs you, Jade. You are the only child she has left.” Tears started to pour from my eyes. ” And another thing, we don’t have enough money to pay the hospital bills and we were wondering if-” I hung up the phone. Of course she marries a gold digger.
I looked up to Savannah and gave her the ‘we need to leave’ look. But, before we left, she grabbed 3 pregnancy tests. I just hope that I have a stomach flu and not pregnant with a baby, that I don’t even know who the father is.

 

James POV
It’s been one month since that night. When I made love to the girl that I love. Now, everything has changed. She has been avoiding me since that night. I just want to talk to her. I want to know how she feels. I want to be with her.
Then the door bell goes off. I get up from the couch and open the door to find Marie standing there. I kinda forgot about her ever since that night. She used to send me messages and call me, but I blocked her number.
“Hi, James.” She said, smiling.
“Oh, um hi.”
“Can we talk? I’ve tried to call and text you, but I never got a response. So, that’s why I’m here.”
“To talk about what? Why I dumped you?” Once I said that, it got Marie’s attention. “Really? Why don’t I answer your calls or texts? It’s because I want nothing to do with you. I’m in love with someone else.”
“I-I thought we had something. Don’t you feel that spark that we have?” She wasn’t wrong. We did have a spark that kept me from thinking about Jade. I really didn’t want to end it, I had to. It was my only chance show Jade how much I loved and cared about her.
“There’s nothing. No spark. Not anymore.” I said and tears started to form under her eyes. God, I hate to see her like this. I have to. I have to find out if Jade and I will work out. “I think, it’s time for you to leave. Now.”
She wiped her tears and then ran to her car. I then slammed the door shut and went into my room. I don’t know what’s going on with me. First, I’m all about Jade, then I meet Marie, then I sleep with Jade and fall head over heels for her. Then Marie comes back. Why did she have to come back now? Couldn’t it waited a few more years?
My phone vibrated, it was a message from Jade.
Spending the night at Savannah’s house.
Of course. Avoiding me as usual. I really think that I need a drink because I don’t think I can handle the events of this day.
Jade’s POV
After Savannah put Ricky down for his bedtime, we both went into the bathroom. She gave me the first test and then left the bathroom. God, why did I have to be put in this situation?
After I took the first test, I gave it to Savannah. We then waited the 5 minutes and then she gave the test back to me.
“It’s a plus, Jade.” Savannah said. As I looked down at the test to see a plus sign. “You’re pregnant.”
“Give me the box. There must be a mistake.” As I took the box from Savannah and read the back of the box. She was right, I’m pregnant. “Oh, god.”
“I know, I was shocked the first time that I found out I was pregnant. Then again, you are in a totally better situation than I was.” She said, tears started to fall from my cheeks. She came over to me and hugged me real tight. “I’ll be here for you. There are options if you don’t want to keep the baby. I’ll support you 100%. You can even move in and I can help you out with the baby.”
“Thanks, Savannah. I think I just want to lay down and process this all in.” I said as she let go of me and smiled.
“You’re welcome, just lay down and if you want to talk, I will be all ears.” She said as she then got up and walked out of her bedroom.
I just sat there. Thinking that I’m pregnant, but I don’t know who the father is. I really hope it’s James, but then again, that would mean I would have to tell him that I’m pregnant. What if the baby is Tanners? What am I going to do now?
First thing first, I need to go to the doctors soon. I have to know if I really am. Then, I’ll have to tell them both. Tanner and the James. I just wish I knew who the father really was. The sooner I tell them, the sooner that I will find out who’s the father.
Why did I have to be so stupid?

Thanks for reading! Next chapter will be out Friday! If you can’t wait for the next chapter, find me on Wattpad and search katieasehl. You will also find others works that I have written as well. 

Chapter 6: I Need To Tell Them –
https://katiesblog96971617.com/2018/06/15/my-writing-unclear-i-need-to-tell-them-chapter-6/

 

Posted in Unclear

Unclear – Does He Love Me? (Chapter 3)

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Good Morning my dearies! Ready for Chapter 3? Well, here it is as our usual Monday thing that we do on my blog! 

If you haven’t read Chapter 2, here is the link!
https://katiesblog96971617.com/2018/05/28/my-writing-unclear-chapter-2-the-mistake-chapter-2/

*Warning* There may be some mature content. I did write this back in high school, so this isn’t my very best work! I do believe there is a few dirty scenes, so read at your own risk! And of course enjoy!

~Does He Love Me?~

I decided that I didn’t want to sit and mope about my mother. So, I decided to go get some coffee. I ordered the same thing every time, Mocha Frappe. I ended up siting down, at the Cafe, and going through my Facebook. God, everyone was just so bitchy. I really do hate social media. It’s only good for one thing, starting drama. It makes me think of my old high school days, fighting about boys, looks, preps, and trying to state your opinion.
Honestly, I’m glad that I had James and Savannah by my side, otherwise, I wouldn’t have been able to make it through high school. Speaking of VanVan, I might as well text her. I was just about to text her until my phone started to ring. It was my mother, again.
“Doesn’t she get that I don’t want to talk.” I said silently to myself.
“Ignoring someone?” A familiar voice spoke and as I looked up from my phone, Tanner had already sat down next to me with a cup of coffee in his hand.
“Oh, hi, Tanner.” I said. Didn’t he get that this was totally awkward?  Well, for me it is because, since I am a normal human being, I respect myself and don’t go bragging about who I slept with.
“Hello, Jade. So, who is being ignored, by a beauty, such as yourself.”
“Actually, it’s called, ‘ignoring my mother because she apparently thinks that it’s okay to not tell me things, such as the truth.” I looked up at Tanner, but I didn’t notice how beautiful his eyes were.
“Well, if it makes you feel any better, my parents walked out on us, almost 3 years ago.”
“I’m so sorry about that. Have they made any contact to you?” I felt bad, knowing that his parents walked out on him and his little sister. I can’t imagine that happening to me.
“I’m here, if you want to talk about parenting problems.”
“No, I’m fine.”
“You sure?”
“Yes, I’m fine. Can you just stop asking me if I’m fine?” God, this guy is caring way too much about me. Homeboy is getting attached.
“Okay, calm down, I’ll stop.” I was glad that he stopped and took a sip of my iced coffee. “The real reason why I came over was because Marie wants to do a double-date. Her and James, and I’ll be your date. James is all on board with the idea.” A double-date?? With HIM?? I just wanted one night of fun, not a serious relationship. Not yet, anyway.
“No thanks, I’ve got a boyfriend.” I lied.
“Really now? You suddenly have a boyfriend now? It was less than a week ago that we slept together.” My eyes widen. What did I ask him to do? Never to mention this! Fuck!
“Don’t say another word about that night. It was a drunken mistake. Just forget about it.” I said and got up and walked out of the Cafe and over to my Jeep. Of course, Tanner follows me right out to my car.
“Wait, Jade. That’s the thing, I can’t stop thinking about that night or you.” I stopped in my path. Oh, god. I turned to face him. God, his eyes were so dreamy. I then went ahead and spoke.
“You need to. It was a mistake. If you want a booty call, go ask the neighborhood sluts, not me.” I then turned back around and got into my car. He then came over to the drivers side window. Was he not fucking done talking?
“Why are you pushing me away? I know you felt something for me, that night. You can’t lie about that.” I couldn’t. It was true. Even though, I didn’t remember the full night, some parts aren’t too blurry. Being with him that night, was honestly, the happiest I’ve been in a long time. I didn’t want to feel good. I just wanted to have fun and being in a relationship, right now, is not the plan.
“I’m sorry, I have to go. I’m not doing this, Tanner.” I said as he backed away from the car and I pulled away. God, why does love hurt so much? Plus it’s also so confusing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I then drove back to the house. James was home, but I wasn’t in the mood to talk to him. I then walked to the shore. I took my shoes off and sat down on the sand and felt the cold ocean water touch my toes. This was my only escape. The beach. Honestly, the only reason why I lived next to my mother, was because she lived by the beach as well.
But, what’s wrong with me? Why can’t I stop thinking about Tanner and James? I love James, but Tanner doesn’t want to be, just my friend. What if I give him a chance? Will it be weird? I know better than that to fall in love. I’ve made that mistake once, and he still doesn’t know. But, what if he loves me? I just wish that everything was back to normal. Mom was single and not pregnant, James wasn’t talking to other girls, and Mandy and Dad were alive and well.
I was thinking so hard that I forgot to notice that there was someone behind me, which, by the way, scared the shit out of me.
“Well, JJ. What’s wrong, girl?” I knew that voice. It was Savannah, my other best friend. She sat down next to me and gave me a side hug. “I’m sorry I couldn’t make it to your party, last week.”
“I know, it’s fine. How’s Ricky?” I smiled. She then looked at me and smiled back. “He’s doing good, but he misses his auntie.” I laughed.
“Well, of course he does! I’m the cool aunt that gives him everything that you can’t.” I smiled, she knew I was joking around.
“Well, at least you want to make an effort to see him.”
“Still no word from Connor?”
“Nope. He never wanted a kid to begin with.” I hated Connor from the moment I met him.
Connor DeVoid was a player and a spoiled brat. His parents would let him get away with anything. He would also have the biggest parties in high school. He still does now, but he moved to L.A., to get away from his duties of being a father. What really made me and Savannah hate him even more, was that his parents tried to PAY Savannah to get an abortion. I knew Savannah couldn’t do that. Ever since we were little, she would always talk about being a mother, someday. She did, and still is today.
After a little long silent pause, Savannah looked up at me and I knew what she was about to ask. “So what’s going on with your Mom?” I knew it. James spilled the beans to her about me being upset about my mom. The good thing about having James as a friend, was that he would never lied about what was going on.
“Well, you know how I moved out 5 months ago?”
“Yeah, what about it?”
“Come to find out that my mom has been seeing this guy, ‘Frank’, for over a year now. And that they decided to not tell me that they were engaged or that they were planning on eloping until last week.”
“What?! Your mother isn’t like that.” Savannah looked as surprised as I were when I found out.
“I know, but to top it all off.” I paused and looked at the ocean to find someone sailing by on a sail boat. “She’s also 5 months pregnant with twins.” Savannah’s month dropped.
“OH MY GOD! Are you serious, right now?!”
“Yup. I found out all of that, last week. That’s why I didn’t answer you very much on the night of the party.”
“Ah, that’s why. James ended up texting me that you were fine, but forget about that, how was the party?”
“It was a fun-hungover-blurry night. I met someone, too.”
“Oooo, details!”
“Well, I don’t remember much, but I did get really drunk and had sex with Marie’s, older brother.” I then covered my face in shame.
“Wait, James Marie??”
“Yes…” I said very quietly.
“Jade!” Savannah shouted.
“What!?”
“Does James know?”
“Yes…”
“Well, for fucks sake! I thought you loved James?”
“I do, it’s just, he doesn’t like me that way and I was too drunk not to say no.”
“What are you feeling now? About everything?” When she asked me that, I didn’t know what to say. I loved James, but Tanner makes me feel, I don’t know…special.
“I actually don’t know.” Then my phone went off. It was a text from Tanner. I forgot that I gave him my number the morning after the party.
Tanner: Hey, you busy tonight? I was wondering if you wanted to hit up the club tonight. No funny business, I promise.
“Speak of the devil. Who is it?” Savannah asked. I frowned and showed her the message. She looked up at me and smiled. “Go out tonight. Have a good time and I promise that I will make a day where it is just us.”
“I really don’t-” Savannah stopped what I was saying and helped me up. “No, you are going. Now, get something nice on and go have fun! I’ve got to go, but I will text you tomorrow for the details of last night.”
We hugged each other and I walked her to her car and then went inside to get ready to go clubbing with Tanner. I texted him saying to pick me up at 7. I’m just wondering how tonight will play out. I breathed and then said to myself, don’t make the same mistake last time.
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As soon as Savannah left, I took a sip of wine and then went upstairs to get ready. I thought that tonight would be a good night to wear a dress. Hey, I felt like dressing sexy, nothing wrong with that other than people judging you, but at this point, I couldn’t give two shits. I just wanted to get drunk tonight and see what happens with Tanner.
Once I was done getting ready, I went into the kitchen and poured myself a glass of wine and sat down at the island, while I waited for Tanner to come and get me.
“So, someone’s going out tonight, I see.” James said as he came in and grabbed a beer out of the fridge. “You going out with Savannah?”
“Nope, actually I’m going out with Tanner, tonight. Savannah couldn’t, she had to leave because she got a call from the babysitter that Ricky wasn’t feeling good.” When I mentioned Tanner’s name, he froze.
“Oh, um, why are you going out with him?” He looked a little upset, but if he was upset, he was hiding it pretty well. But why the hell did he care, now? He didn’t seem to when he found out that we fucked, about a week ago.
“Well, since you and Marie are dating now, I thought that I should get to know him a little better. He seems like a nice guy. Don’t you think?” I took another sip of my wine.
“I guess. I don’t really know him well enough. Just be careful tonight, okay?” He looked worried and I nodded. Then I heard Tanner’s car pull up to our house. I heard a car door slam. Oh, great. He decided to come in and make the whole situation awkward.
“Well, looks like he’s here. I’ll see you later.” I said as I finished the last bit of wine and started walking to the door. I saw Tanner, who looked rather hot this evening. He smiled when he saw me as I opened the door.
“Wow, you look,” He paused for a moment and then pulled out a rose from behind his back. “Beautiful.”
I felt my face warming up when he handed me the rose and our skin touched each others. Oh, god, I’m blushing so much!
“T-Thank you, but is it okay for me to got put this in a vase? You can come in and sit on the couch while I go take care of this.” I asked and Tanner came in and sat down on the couch.
“Yeah, that’s fine, but hurry up, I’ve got the car running.” As soon as he said that, I found a vase and placed the single rose in the vase. God, this reminded me of my dad. He used to give us girls roses every year for Valentines Day. Even when Valentine’s Day was on a school day, he used to call Mandy and I down to the office and hand us our roses.
I placed the vase on my bed-stand and walked back out to the living. Come to find out that Marie was here. Why is she here? I frowned, but then took a deep breath and placed a smile on my face. Marie was sitting next to James, but once Tanner saw me coming down the hall, he got up and walked over to the door.
“Ready?” He smiled and I nodded my head. We then both got into his car and drove to the only nightclub in town.
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James’ POV
“I wonder what time they’ll be home by?” Marie said as we were cuddling in my bedroom. It was nice to have Marie around. We have so much in common, but there’s one problem, Jade.
I’ve started to get feelings for Jade our Junior year in high school. The only reason why I haven’t told her my feelings, is because I don’t want to lose her or this friendship. I just wished I wasn’t so scared to tell her.
I looked up at Marie and smiled. “I’m not sure, but the clubs will start to close soon, anyway.” Marie then smiled back at me.
“Hey, James?” She spoke after a few minutes of silence.
“Yeah?”
“Can I ask you something?”
“Of course. What is it?” I asked. I wonder what she’s thinking?
“Well, I was wondering why you haven’t kissed me yet.” Marie sat up and so did I, but we have only been going out for almost a week. I was planing on kissing her for the first time tonight, but ever since Jade has gone out with Tanner, tonight, I kinda just want go to sleep and forget the night.
“Well,” I said, “I was waiting for the perfect moment.”
That was a lie. Well, not completely, but I’m just not in the mood for romantic stuff tonight. Come on, Jade, get back home.
Marie turned and faced me. “Well, how about we make this night a perfect moment.” The she closed her eyes and she came closer to my face. Fuck! I can’t kiss her! Then I heard a door open and Jade’s high heels clicking against the floor. Well it’s about time she’s home.
“I-I’m HOMEEE, BITCHES!” Jade shouted and then tripped walking on the carpet. Tanner was trying to keep her steady, but when Jade’s drunk, that’s impossible. Believe me, I know.
“I’m guessing your drunk?” I said as I looked up at Jade. She smiled and then fell down again. Tanner then picked her up and handed her to me.

“D-drunker than a s-skunk!” She then burped and then rested her head on my neck. It felt perfect. I quickly snapped out of it and looked at Marie.

“Well, I got to take care of her, but I will talk to you tomorrow?” I asked and she nodded and kissed me on the check. I then started to walk down the hall to the bathroom and laid her on the floor. I knew she was going to start puking soon. “I’ll be right back with some water, okay?” She nodded and rested her arms around the toilet seat.
I then walked out of the bathroom to find Tanner still here. I thought he would’ve been gone by now. “What are you still doing here?” I asked.
“We need to talk about Marie.” He said. Now what? I thought he was fine will Marie and I dating?
“About?”
“You need to stop this before it gets worse.”
“Stop what?” What the hell was he talking about?

“You need to break up with Marie. I don’t want her to be with someone who is going to lead her on, when you are in love with someone else.”
“What? I’m not in love with someone else. Leave, now.”
“Not until you break up with my sister, now.” He said as I could hear Jade starting to puke. “She’s in the car. I’ll take care of Jade.” I stopped right in front of him. “Move out of the way.”
“No. She is my best friend, I’ll take care of her.” He looked pissed off.
“What about my sister?” He asked I heard Jade puking even louder. I turned around, so my back was facing him. “Just tell her it’s over.” I then walked into the bathroom. Jade was laying on the floor and as soon as I walked in, she smiled.
“How are you feeling?” I asked as I helped her up.
“B-better, can you come w-with me to m-my r-room?” I nodded and she then walked out of the bathroom to her room. “W-wait, o-outside.”
I sat outside her room, waiting for what was going to happen next. My phone went off and it was a text message from Marie. I’ll answer her later, right now, Jade is the only important thing. When I looked up from my phone, Jade came out of here room and was only in her bra and underwear. She looked beautiful, but I know that I shouldn’t take advantage of her like that. She then posed in a some-what sexy drunken pose.
“Y-you like what you s-see?” she spoke. Of course I did, but I didn’t want to do something that she might regret in the morning.
“I’m gonna head to bed, now. So, sleep tight and I’ll see you in the morning.” I said as she frowned. I then left her room and climbed into bed. Why did she had to be drunk? I just didn’t want to take advantage of her. I then turned my alarm on and closed my eyes.
I started to fall asleep, but I felt someone get in the blankets and on top of me. I looked up, it was Jade.
“What are you doing, Jade? Go back to bed.” I said as she then placed a finger over my mouth. she leaned in closer and said: “Don’t talk. Just k-kiss me.”
When her lips touched mine, it was like sparks. I couldn’t get enough of it. This was the first time that Jade and I have ever kissed. I just didn’t think it would feel this good. I then flipped her on her back on my bed and kissed her again. She would laugh when I would place kisses on her neck. I loved her laugh.
She then started to take off my shirt. I stopped and looked at her beautiful eyes. “Are you sure you want to continue?” I asked.
Jade brought my head down to hers, our lips, almost touching and then she spoke.
“I’ve b-been wanting this for a l-long time.” I smiled and she smiled back. “Now, shut up and kiss me!”
I did what she said to do. I couldn’t believe that I was going to make love to the woman that I’ve loved for 7 years.

Tune in next Monday for chapter 4! If you aren’t so patient and want to read the rest, check out the rest of ‘Unclear’ on Wattpad. Just look up my username, katieasehl!

Chapter 4: What’s Wrong With Me?
https://katiesblog96971617.com/2018/06/08/my-writing-unclear-whats-wrong-with-me/

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Dealing With Being Frustrated

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As all parents know, we are bound to get frustrated with our kids, lifestyle, work, etc. How to deal with it, can be very difficult. Especially, when you are a stay-at-home mom. It’s even worse when you suffer from depression.

I get frustrated. I can admit that. A lot of people can’t.

I get frustrated over little things, that I can do nothing about. I get frustrated over the bigger things that I can’t fix. Sometimes, there is nothing you can do, until the time is right to fix something. Or in my case, money always frustrates me.

Sometimes I get very frustrated with my daughter. I get frustrated when she cries and there is nothing I can do to help her. Do I take it out on her? No. I put her in her crib, play pen, or anywhere where I know she won’t hurt herself. I then take a deep breathe, count to ten and then go back to my daughter and try to take care of her the best I can.

Another reason why I get very frustrated is that I haven’t felt comfortable to leave my daughter with anyone, yet. I bet you are all thinking or saying that I need a break. I do, but with my past history, it’s very hard to do.

Losing my son, is making it difficult to leave her with anyone. I feel that if I do, I am going to freak out, if she were to spend the night somewhere, or I would get that call that something is wrong. The only people that really understand what I am going through, are mother who have lost a baby.

My daughter is 7 months old and I am starting to realize that she just wants me, which frustrates me because I want to get stuff done in the house. I know it’s my fault, but it’s hard to let go. It’s like when your child goes in for their first day of preschool, its hard to watch them go.

Anyway, being frustrated doesn’t mean you are a bad parent, it means you need to take a step back and try different ways to relax your frustration. I’ve counted to 10, that has helped. Closing your eyes, working out, doing a hobby, or if you are in a pickle, closing your eyes and relaxing them to a second.

Meditation is what I’m going to try and get into because of the fact that I still don’t feel 100% comfortable to leave my daughter with anyone, yet.

If you are like me and can’t leave your child, for whatever reason, start with an hour. Leave your child with your spouse and see how you do. Try it out with different family family members and then slowly leave them for more that an hour or two.

When you know that baby is comfortable and you finally feel comfortable, then leave them with family for a night. You just have to get to, not only your comfort zone, but your child’s as well.

Another way to deal with frustration, is to talk to someone, someone you know that wouldn’t mind listening to whatever is frustrating you. Airing it out is a lot better than keeping it in. I know how hard it is to talk to someone, but you don’t want it to keep it all in.

Before it’s too late and then you end up screaming at someone.

Posted in Unclear

Unclear – The Mistake (Chapter 2)

Happy Monday dearies! Here is the next chapter! Warning, the next couple chapters might have some mature content. Again, I wrote this back in high school and it’s not completely proof read, so try not to judge as much. I have been thinking about rewriting this, but haven’t have enough motivation to do so. Enjoy!

If you haven’t read Chapter 1, here is the link!
https://katiesblog96971617.com/2018/05/21/my-writing-unclear-10-years-later-chapter-1/

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~The Mistake~

Then, I bumped into this person.
“Hey, I’m s-shaking my ass here, d-dude!” I know when I’m drunk when I start talking like that, but I didn’t care. I was having the time of my life right now.
“I’m sorry. I must of not seen you.” A deep voice spoke, it sounded like a guy, but he was nice enough to help me up.
“Thanks, but y-you own me a-another drink.”
“I think you have had enough.” He said taking my empty glass away and placing it on the bar. He then came back with a water bottle in his hand. “Here, this will help.”
“If this a-ain’t alcohol, I d-don’t want it.”
“Just drink it.” I then did what I was told and drank some of the water.
“I-I think I need to g-go to bed, n-now.” I said as I turned around and walked up to my room. The guy, who helped me, came up with me. Of course, I didn’t care. I was way too drunk to care. All I know, that I wanted to throw up and then, maybe, make-out with someone. Anyone. I didn’t care who.
I then felt the vomit coming up my throat and I ran into my bathroom. He followed and held my hair up for me.
“I-I’m s-sorry.” I felt that I needed to apologize for puking. Nice going, Jade. I thought to myself.
“Don’t be sorry. It happens when you drink a little more than expected. I’m Tanner.” He said as I got up and brushed my teeth. I liked him. He was totally hot, plus he seemed like he used to play on the football team. “And you are?”
“Jade.”
“That’s a-” Before he could finish his sentence, I stopped him. I went up to him and started to make-out with him. After I pulled away, he looked surprised. I then pointed my finger at him and told him to follow me.
Once we were in my room. It was on. Hardcore make-out section and clothes were starting to come off. Of course, I wasn’t thinking, but all I wanted was someone to fuck me. And this guy, was perfect for the invite. The only thing that wasn’t on my mind, for once, was James.
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I woke up the next morning with a killer headache. My head was killing me. I didn’t remember a thing last night. I’m glad that I didn’t, but I was paying for it now. I felt arms around my waist, as I turned to find a guy in my bed. Shit. I slowly got up and went to the bathroom, hoping that I didn’t wake up my unexpected guest that was in my bed.
I got dressed and then walked back in my room to find, the guy, gathering the rest of his clothes.
“Well, good morning.” He spoke and I sat on the edge of my bed.
“Who are you?” I honestly couldn’t think of his name. Let alone, remember last night.
“You don’t remember?”
“Not really.”
“I’m Tanner. Marie’s older brother.” I froze when he said that last part. Did I just have sex with Marie’s older brother?? Oh god, I’m so dead when James finds out.
“Right.”
“I guess I should go now.” As he threw his shirt over his head.
“Yeah, I’ve got to get ready for work.” I lied as I made my bed.
“Well, it was nice to meet you, Jade.” Before he could leave, I stepped in front of the door.
“One more thing.” I said as he waited for me to finish my sentence. “Can you not tell anybody about this?”
“Of course. Bye Jade.” He said as he left my bedroom.
I just couldn’t believe that this Tanner guy, is Marie’s older brother. I am so stupid!
As soon as I calmed down, I went downstairs and made myself a cup of coffee. Once the coffee was ready, I headed into the living room, to find James watching the news.
“Well, well, how are you feeling?” James said as he knew I was hungover. He loved to pick on my for that.
“Haha, very funny.” I said in a sarcastic tone. “I feel like shit. How was your night?” I said, taking a sip off of my coffee.
“It was alright. Marie and I talked all night long.” He smiled. I hated it when he talked about other girls. Why couldn’t that be me? I’ve loved James since I met him. He was always there when I need a shoulder to cry on. We’ve been best friends for over 7 years. Losing him, would be losing my whole world. I just wish I had the courage to tell him how I feel.
“Cool.”
“Yeah, we are even official.” As soon as he said those words, my heart dropped. He only knew her for a month and they made it official? I nodded and took another sip of my coffee. I just couldn’t believe this!
There was a little of an awkward silence, until I had the guts to speak. “I met her older brother.” I said as he looked towards me and then spoke his name. “Tanner?” I nodded my head and then he turned and faced the T.V..
“I bet you did get to know him, alright.” He smirked and I punched his arm.
“So? It’s not like you haven’t had a one-night-stand before.”
“I have, but I think you like him.” My face got red. He knew it would. I get embarrassed when he assumes that I have a crush on anyone.
Before I could answer him, my cell phone started to go off. As I looked at the screen, I could see the caller I.D. to be my mother calling, again.
“Ugh, doesn’t she know to give me space.” I said as I hung up on her. I didn’t want to speak to her. She knew that, but knowing my mother, she thinks that I have all the space in the world, just because we live right next to each other.
“Who did you just hang up on?” James questioned as I placed my phone on the coffee table.
“My mother.”
“Why? Does this has something to do about yesterday?” Of course, I forgot to tell him about what went on between my mom and I. I took a deep breath and then began to speak.
“Long story short. She started seeing someone and didn’t bother to tell me, but as soon as I move out, she has this new guy move in.” I paused as James kept looking at me. His eyes are so beautiful. I quickly snapped out of it and then spoke again. “Not to mention that she and this ‘Frank’ guy, ran off and got married without me.”
“Wow. Anything else?” James looked surprised as I was when I found out. I then placed my coffee mug on the coffee table.
“She’s also 5 months pregnant with twins.” I then started to cry, a little. I just couldn’t believe my mother would forget to call me or message me to say that she was getting married. It hurt a lot. Especially, when she told me all of that yesterday.
James saw my tears and wiped them away. “I’m so sorry, Jade. I wish there was something I could do for you.”
I hugged him close and then looked up at him. “Never leave me. Like Mandy and Dad did.” As soon as I said that, waterfall of tears came down my cheek.
“I promise.” Those were the only words that he spoke, but I kept repeating it in my head. I promise. Hopefully, he will never break that promise.
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Marie’s P.O.V.
Where the hell is he? It’s almost 10 in the morning! I don’t even know if he came home last night. Maybe he left? Just like Mom and Dad did. He can’t. He’s all I got. I sat there and started to cry, thinking about the day my parents left us.
It hurts just thinking about it.
All of a sudden, the door opened and Tanner walked in. I wiped my tears and ran to Tanner. Hugging him as tight as I could. He hugged me back. He smelled like alcohol. I pulled away and crossed my arms.
“Where were you!?! I thought you left me!” I yelled at him. Tears started to fall down on my face when I said that last sentence. Tanner hugged me again.
“Calm down. I would never leave you.” He spoke and I stopped crying. I looked up to my brother. “Where were you though?” I said as he and I walked into our living room. I sat down on the couch and Tanner took off his jacket and threw it right next to me.
“I drank a little too much and I ended up passing out on your boyfriends couch. I’m sorry. I should’ve texted you, but I will make it up to you.”
“Oh, that was nice of James. Speaking of which, I’m gonna go out to the sun room and call him.” I said as I got up and smiled.
“I’ll be upstairs if you need me.” He said as he walked up the stairs to his room. As soon as he was out of sight, I ran outside to the the sun room. My mother and father build it for me because they wanted be to a great painted, like my grandmother. The only issue was, my grandmother wasn’t just a painter, she was also a witch.
I learned everything from her, but my mom, dad, and Tanner should never find out about this. They would disown me for good. The only reason why my grandmother showed me about her secret, is because she wanted me to find the love of my life. Since I didn’t get my good looks from my mom, my grandmother cast a spell to make me beautiful, but there is only one issue.
Before my 21st birthday, I must do three things, otherwise, I will die and my family will be cursed forever. Since my grandmother cast that spell, it wasn’t just for good looks, I also must produce a baby with the one I cast a love spell over.
And so, that is why I met James. He is the one, that I’ve chosen to create a child with. Sadly, it might be harder than I expected. You see, I can’t cast a spell on someone who is already in love with someone else. I could, but it’s dark magic. My grandmother told me that if I keep using dark magic, my heart will slowly begin to turn black.
Sadly, that’s how she died. Too much dark magic she was casting.
There must be another why to have him fall out of love with Jade.

Next chapter will be out next week! As usual, if you don’t want to wait for the next chapter, look me up on Wattpad for the story ‘Unclear’ by katieasehl. Thanks for reading!

Chapter 3: Does He Love Me? –
https://katiesblog96971617.com/2018/06/04/my-writing-unclear-does-he-love-me-chapter-3/

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Dealing With The Loss Of A Child

Image result for infant loss quotes

As you all might know, or will find out, I lost my first born son, before he turned a month old. His birthday is next month and I wanted to talk to you about the loss of a child. Whether they were on this Earth for 5 years or two days, it still hurts the same.

June 25th, is coming soon, which is also my son’s birthday. He would have been two years old. As the month has been coming up, I haven’t been the same.

Last year, this time, I was working and was pregnant for my rainbow baby, my daughter. Work distracted me from the fact that I would celebrate his first birthday without him here. This year, he would have been two, and now that I am a stay-at-home mom, it has been really difficult.

You see, losing a child is very difficult to cope with, even at my age. I was 18, when I had him. I was 18, when we lost him. And because of losing him so soon, it made my fiance and I grow up a lot. What was the reason, you ask. Well, let me tell you.

When I was pregnant with my son, Liam, we found out he had a very serious disease, HLHS or Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome. Meaning the left side of his heart was underdeveloped. At first I never even hear the term, but after watching a lot of Grey’s, they talk about it all the time.

They don’t have enough research to explain why it happen, but it just did. ‘It was the way cells formed’, is what all the doctors would tell us. None of us wanted to believe that it was true, but the ultrasounds said otherwise. Once he was born, he was going to be going through a lot up until he turns about 3. Well, as you know, he didn’t make to 3. He didn’t even make it to his first birthday.

Everything went well, with his first surgery, but a blood clot stopped his heart and he just went downhill from there. Another reason why it’s even harder to deal with the lost of a child, is when you are holding them when their heart stopped, not just once, but twice.

That story is for another day, which I haven’t decided whether to post it or not.

He died on in my arms, I know a lot of people might think I’m crazy, but to me, I wanted him to know that he was going to heaven in the comfort of his parents arms.

One thing that a lot of people tell me is to get over it. I can’t just get over it. It’s not something you get over with, it takes time to cope with the fact that they are no longer with us. I though, I believe he is always watching from up above.

Please, if you know anyone who has ever lost a child, don’t ever tell them they need to ‘get over it’. You are a terrible person for even thinking that, just saying. If anything, we need to comfort those who have lost love ones.

Posted in Unclear

Unclear – 10 Years Later (Chapter 1)

Image result for wattpad katieasehl unclear

So, here is the first chapter from my book! Last Monday I explained a little bit of what this is. If you haven’t read the intro, click on this link ——> https://katiesblog96971617.wordpress.com/2018/05/14/my-writing-unclear-intro/

Every Monday, I post another chapter of my book, that is on Wattpad, as well. If you want to read more and can’t wait, go to Wattpad and look for the book ‘Unclear’ by katieasehl. Enjoy!

~10 Years Later~

8:56 a.m.
I woke up and just laid in my bed. Ugh, why can’t I just sleep in? I didn’t have to work at the bookstore today, then why did I wake up so early? Then the smell of waffles entered my nose. Well, someone is up. I thought to myself.
James Grey was my best friend and my roommate. He has helped me through a lot, especially when I told him about my past. He had a kinda similar past, but his dad or older sister didn’t die. He lost his mom after she gave birth to him and ever since then, it’s been just him and his dad.
I finally got up and out of my warm cozy bed and went to shower and dress. After that I walked down the stairs to find James cooking waffles. He is such a great cook, I swear he should’ve became a professional chef. Then again, he is a wonderful musician.
I sat down at the island and watched him cook. I noticed that he had bags under his eyes, again. Someone stayed up late, again.
“Well, someone stayed up late, again. I’m surprised you didn’t sleep in.” I said as he started to mix another batch of waffles.
“Yeah, I was talking to someone last night.”
“Was it a girl?” I said with a smirk.
“Yes, if you need to know.” he said, placing the waffles on to a pan and into the oven.
“So, what’s this lucky girls name?”
He was quiet for a little bit, like he didn’t want to tell me, but I knew he would, eventually. Then he turned to face me and smiled. “Her name is Marie and she is perfect.”
“Is this the same girl that you have been talking to for over a month, now?”
“Yeah, I’m actually going to meet her tonight.” he then opened the oven and pulled out the waffles, just in time and then placed them on a plate.
“Wait, you haven’t met her yet?” I said as we both walked into the dining room with a plate of waffles and sat down.
“Not in person. I met her online.”
“So, your telling me that you are going to meet this “Marie” girl, that you met online? What if Marie is a he? Or a stalker? Or a murder?” I knew I was exaggerating, but I didn’t trust meeting people online. There are way too many creeps on there.
“JJ, calm down. Just because you had a bad experience with online dating, doesn’t mean it will happen to me. Plus I know what she looks like. We have been texting each other pictures of each other. Don’t you worry.”
“I worry because I care about you, James. I don’t need you getting screwed over by some lying bitch, pretending to be someone else.” I then started to eat and think about James situation. What would be a way where James can meet Marie, but not so private? “I’ve got it!”
I nearly scared the shit out of James. He looked up to me and gave me the look he always did when I had an idea.
“Let’s throw a party! It’s perfect because then you can meet her in a more public place and I can still make sure that you don’t get kidnapped. Plus, I have tonight off and I really want to party.” James looked at me like I was crazy. He never really liked to party unless he was really drunk or he was dragged along by me.
“Alright, but just this once. I think of it as a house welcoming party.” Of course he would. Sometimes I wonder why I’m friends with a party pooper.
“Yes, oh, and my mom is coming over today. She needs to tell me something.”
Any time my mom has to tell me something, it’s either good nor bad. Plus she hasn’t came over since James and I moved into our new house. I know something is up. I really don’t want to know what it is.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After breakfast, James and I cleaned up our plates and then I waited outside on my porch for my mother. She said she would be here around 10 a.m., then again, she can be late sometimes.
James went back upstairs to play his drum set. Sometimes, that can become very annoying, then again, he’s not that bad, but I would rather him play his guitar.
Then I saw my mother walking over to my house. Since we live right next door from each other. My mom looked really big. She must of put on some pounds since I last saw her. As soon as she got closer, I could see that she wasn’t big, but looked like she was pregnant?!? When did this happen? Why didn’t she tell me about this? I couldn’t believe it.
“Hey sweetie! I’ve missed you.” my mother came up and hugged me tight. I hugged her back, but then pushed her away. She paused and then she caught my eye’s staring at her stomach. “Well, about this.” She rubbed her stomach.
“A-are you p-p-pregnant??” I thought I was dreaming. I even pinched myself, but this was all real. Way too real.
“Yes! Isn’t this exciting! You’re going to be a big sister!” She smiled and then placed her hands together. As I saw her fingers, the engagement and wedding ring that dad got her were replaced with a new wedding ring.
“What did you do to your engagement and wedding rings that dad gave you?” I wasn’t just upset, but finding out all of this now, was pissing me off.
“Well, hun. I knew you had been busy for the past few months, working, studying, and going to college. That I didn’t want to bring all of this up right away.” I crossed my arms and looked away from my mother. I couldn’t even stand to look at her right now. “Frank and I thought that we should tell you before the babies were born.”
Did I heard that right? Did she just say babies?! First I find out that she’s pregnant and that she’s remarried? Why didn’t she tell me this? I’m her daughter, why didn’t she tell me this when it all happened?
“Who the hell is Frank? And babies?! And you got remarried without your only daughter to witness it? What the hell kind of mother are you?” My mom then sat down next to me and tried to comfort me. I got up so fast that she had to blink a few times to notice I was standing, facing her. “What about dad? Did you ever think about him when you did all this?”
“Jade, your father has been gone for 10 years. I’ve learned to move on and I’m sure he wants me to be happy. I loved your father so much. After he passed away, all I had left was you. It’s time that we all moved on, hunny.” she spoke like she did when I first had a crush and he denied to go out with me.
“Then why didn’t you even tell me you got married?”
“Well, Frank and I thought it would be an amazing idea if we ran off and got married.”
“Without telling me. You didn’t even tell me you were seeing anyone. When did this happen?” I really wish dad was here, he would know what to do.
“We met about a year ago. We wanted to keep it a secret because I didn’t know how you would react to it. We got married after you moved out. Then about 5 months ago, I found out that I was pregnant.”
“You got pregnant after I moved out, 5 months ago?!? And you never even bothered to tell me? What is wrong with you! I’m the only thing you have left of dad and what you are doing, right now, is pushing me away. Go live your new happy life, mom. I can’t even look at you.” I was just about done with this conversation. I need a drink.
“But Jade-” I cutted her off. “Just leave. I don’t want to see you.” I then walked inside and poured myself a glass of wine. I needed it. This was all way too much.
I sat down on the couch and just sat there, thinking about everything that happened. Why would she do this to me? I thought she cared about me, but clearly, she doesn’t.
James then came downstairs and saw me crying, holding the bottle of wine in my hand. He sat down next to me and held me close. After a few minutes of silence, James spoke.
“I heard you yelling. You wanna talk about it, JJ?” I shock my head no and he nodded. James knew I would talk about it later. That’s why I’m always so grateful to have him in my life. He doesn’t just understand me, but he is always there for me, whenever I need it.
Right now, I was more focused on having a good time, tonight and I’m gonna drink until I forget about today.

Next chapter will be posted next Monday! If you can’t wait, you can always check out Wattpad and look up ‘Unclear’ by katieasehl. 

Chapter 2: The Mistake –
https://katiesblog96971617.com/2018/05/28/my-writing-unclear-chapter-2-the-mistake-chapter-2/

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Dealing With Depression As A Mom

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A lot of people think that having a baby will bring you joy and happiness for your family. Which is does, but a lot of people don’t understand that there is a lot going on then just taking care of a baby.

I have been dealing with depression since I was 13. It’s been a long rocky-road for me. Sometimes, I just wish that I could just be happy, but having depression, makes you want to do nothing. Be nothing. You are always sad inside and no one will really know unless you talk to them about it.

When you have a baby, after the baby is born, some mom struggle with, what it is called, ‘baby blues’. It usually happens to a lot of moms within the first month of their baby being born. That’s why a lot of OBGYN’s ask you about ‘baby blues’, at your 6 week post-postpartum check up. They want to make sure that you and the baby are in good hands.

As a mom who has already lost a child and just had another one, it’s really difficult for me to watch my daughter grow because my son died when he was only a month old. It’s started to hit me a few days ago, that’s why there hasn’t been a lot of blogging going on.

Not just with the depression, stress and other issues are also on my mind. It makes it worse, especially when you have a little one that needs you every waking minute. There are days that I don’t want to get up, but my daughter gives me the kick that I need to get up and go on with my life.

It makes me sad that I can’t see my son reach the milestones that my daughter is, but she gives me a sense of hope. Just because I lost my son, I can’t get up on the fact that he’s gone. I always know that he will always watch over my daughter and any future children that I may have.

Before you say that a newly mother can’t be depressed, think about this. Have you ever had a child? Have you ever thought of the crying to never end? Have you ever go nuts, in your mind, because your baby is crying and you don’t know why?

I give praises to newly mothers, especially ones that have babies or children with birth defects. I also want to praise all the mothers that try their best, when they think their best isn’t good enough.

You moms are doing amazing!

It’s good to hear a good thing or too. To me, it makes me feel inspired and more confident to shoot for the stars.

But the one thing that I always do, when I’m feeling depressed or down, I talk to someone. Whether it is a friend, family member, or my fiance. I talk to someone. I rather people know what’s going on, versus keeping it all locked inside. As much as I sometimes would rather not talk to anyone, I know that I should.

If you are a mom, who’s struggling with depression or ‘baby blues’, talk to someone or talk to your doctor, they can give you some medication that will make it easier for you to handle. As much as some people don’t like taking medications, I am one of those people, it does work.

I am always an open ear. Seriously, if you need someone to talk to, go to my Contact page and send me a message. It’s better to open up to someone, rather than no one.

To all those moms, you keep doing what you are doing, better days are sure to come.

*If you really need help and need to talk to someone or a medical professionally, click on the link below. It gives a list of hotlines and explains depression in depth. The hotline is there and is completely anonymous.

https://www.mentalhelp.net/articles/depression-hotline/

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Dealing With Family Drama

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Drama is very difficult to avoid or stay away from. It’s its apart of our life, no matter what. Whether you are single or are in a relationship, drama is sure to find you.

Especially, if you are a parent and have children. However you decide how to raise your children, there will always be someone who talks behind you back about how much they really don’t like how you raise your children.

For me, I’ve got drama everywhere I look. In our house, if we have a problem, we sit down and deal with it and then move on. However, on both sides of our family, there are a few family members that haven’t really grown up yet, even with children.

Which, for me, I’ve grown up a lot, and I’m only 20. Losing my son, made me realize that I life is short and that we should make each day worth living for. It also made me realize that I’m too mature, even though sometimes I don’t act mature, that I don’t want to be around the drama.

I will admit that I am nosey, if it is about anyone else. Everyone can be nosey at some point in their life. You may or may not admit it, but it’s true.

What I am really getting at is that sometimes, the drama can children in the middle of it. I’m talking about when the adults get into an agruement and they ignore each other, preventing the children from bonding and creating a friendly relationship.

It makes me feel sad that cousins can’t have a good bond, like I do with my cousins, because one or the other parents have issues with a agruement.

I think that drama should be let back in high school. You either need to suck it up, buttercup. Or take you and the drama that follows, back to high school, where it belongs!

Families need to stick together through thick and thin. If you can’t get over an issue between your family members, think about your children and how it would effect them because the children should be the first thing that is thought about, not what issues you have with your family.

Unless, you are like me, and have that one person that did something really bad to you, that you don’t even want them to be in your or your childs life. Keep in mind, and I always have, it is your choice on who you want in your life and your childrens life.

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Mother’s Day vs. Father’s Day

Image result for mother's day and father's day

I know its a day behind, but I wanted to say Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms, moms-to-be, step-moms, and all the other moms who stepped up when the dad didn’t.

A lot of mom’s think that because it is Mother’s Day, they will have a clean house, don’t have to do dishes, or laundry. For some families, they do that or they make breakfast in bed for their moms.

I wanted to talk about the real meaning of Mother’s Day. It’s not just for mom’s, its for all the woman that acted like a mother or was a mother to you in your lifetime. I also want to say that Mother’s Day is a day for the mother’s and that Father’s Day is for the father’s.

There are tons of mom’s that are single and play both parts, but Mother’s Day is for all the mom’s, whether you loss a baby, had a miscarriage, or adopted a child, that day is for you.

What really upsets me, is that single moms or moms who play both roles of mom and dad, think that Father’s Day is about them too. NO. Just no. Father’s Day is for all the fathers or dads, not for those moms who play both parts.

For example, I’m going to use my family as an example. I don’t speak or talk to my father because he was never a real father to my siblings and I. He has always been in and out of our lives that I don’t considered to say anything on Father’s Day.

My mom has been raising us and caring for us since day one. My father does it when he feels that he needs to be, not when he should be, which would be all the time. That’s why I don’t tell my father, Happy Father’s Day. I say it to my mom’s dad because he was there for my siblings and I when my father wasn’t.

Anyway, Happy Mother’s Day to all the MOTHER’S out there, this is your day, NOT Father’s Day.

Posted in Unclear

Unclear – Intro

Image result for wattpad katieasehl unclear

So, in my spare time I write on Wattpad. I have a few stories on there, but I figured that I could share a chapter a week. Every Monday, I will upload a chapter from one of my books. If you don’t want to wait for another chapter, you can find it on Wattpad (You do have to sign up in order to read anything).

Unclear was one of my first books that I posted on Wattpad. When I upload them, they might be different from the original book that is on Wattpad. I started writting back in high school, so there are a few errors here and there. Here is just a little info of what the book is about.

Jade Roy has always thought that bad things wouldn’t come to her, but she was wrong. At age 11, her father died in the military. After that, her older sister died in a car crash 6 months after her father passed on. It has been her mother and her.

She hopes that things will get better… Or will they?

10 years later, Jade moves in with her best friend, James. She has always loved him, but never confessed her love to him. She’s scared to open up and love someone, but when James meets this new girl online, Marie. She starts to think that they will never be together. Or will they?

Here is the intro of Unclear. I hope you all like it.

~Intro~

My name is Jade Roy. I used to live with my father, mother, and older sister, but that all changed when my father was recruited into the war. We all didn’t want him to go, but he had to. For us. He always wanted us to always be safe, but that all changed when he was shot and killed in the war.

My mother didn’t think it really happened, but when the officer came to our door and gave us the sad news about my father. My older sister, Mandy, started getting into drinking and smoking cigarettes. My mother didn’t even know what was going on until 6 months after my fathers death.

We got a call at 3 a.m., saying that there was a car accident and that Mandy was involved. My mother and I both rushed to the hospital to see if she was okay, but she wasn’t. Mandy ended up dying from losing so much blood.

Mom and I held each other close and she promised me that she would always protect me. I made that same promise to her, as well. It was just us now. I also promised myself something else, as well. I will never fall in love, unless I know that he was the one.
Kinda extreme coming from an 11 year old, right? It wasn’t to me.

I wanted to make sure that my mother’s happiness came first, before mine, but I never wanted to see Mom with someone else. I just wanted it to be me and her. No one else, but us against the world.

I just wished things would change for the better.

If you want to read more, check out Unclear on Wattpad. Just look for out for my username katieasehl. You will have to sign up if you aren’t a member already, but if you don’t want to go through all that trouble, the next chapter will be out on next Monday!

Chapter 1: 10 Years Later –
https://katiesblog96971617.com/2018/05/21/my-writing-unclear-10-years-later-chapter-1/

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Being or Becoming Engaged

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Being or become engaged to your significant other is a huge step in any relationship. It’s a promise that you are going to one day,  going to marry the person that you plan on spending the rest of your life with.

I am currently engaged. My fiance proposed to me last year on Christmas Day. We have been together for almost 4 years. We have been through a lot during those years. Losing our son bought us closer than ever before. I’ve never been more happier in my life.

Anyway, the reason why I wanted to bring up the topic of engagement, was that I wanted to talk to you about was how long should you be engaged for.

As soon as we got engaged, I started thinking of a date, which we planned on getting married in 2020. Ever since then, I have been thinking of colors, themes, what my dress will be, who will be my bride maids, etc. I’ve always wanted to get married to the love of my life, so when he finally popped the question, I have been so excited to plan our wedding.

When some people get engaged, they might wait a year or two, maybe to save up for the wedding or waiting until they are able to take the time off, anything, but if you have been engaged for more than 5 years, people can start to question why.

I completely understand if you are trying to save up money on a wedding, don’t get me wrong, but weddings are very expensive, but when people started to ask why, I think of many this person isn’t ready to make that commitment or they don’t want to make the plans of a wedding.

There could be so many reasons why. Some people get engaged or plan on getting married for the kids, which you shouldn’t do, you should marry because you love the person you are with.

I grew up in a home with my mother was always unhappy because she was married to my father. It took her 11 years to finally stand up and want to find happiness. My parents got divorced and my mother has been so much more joyful, that was almost 7 years ago. My mother felt that she had to stay because of the fact that she wanted to keep our family together.

She didn’t want us kids to grow up in a broken home, but she knew that she didn’t want us to grow up with parents who were happy, too. So she made a change. My mother married my father because, yes she was in love with him, but they also had me too. She married and stayed with my father because of us kids.

If you aren’t ready to take that next step to get married, then you should talk to your love one and talk about why you don’t want to get married. For me, I only want to get married once and I think a lot of people only want to get married once.

A lot of people are pressured into married their significant other because of family or friends. You shouldn’t marry anyone you know that you don’t want to spend the rest of your life with. It should be because you are madly in love with your significant other, you love all their flaws and looks, but most of all, you see a future with them.

 

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Teething

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Usually, I have been able to post a blog a day, but at the moment, my 6 month old is going through the favorite and fun stages of teething. So, I figured I talk about something that every mom has to go through with their kids.

Teething, is very frustrating for not just baby, but for mommy too. About a week ago, my daughter, she was on her normal schedule and was fine, chewing and putting everything in her mouth like a baby will do, but this week. She has been teething bad!

Because of the teething, it is throwing her way off schedule. She has been eating less and has been taking longer naps. I am one of those moms that has to have a schedule planned out, I have an app on my phone that helps me track her feeding, diapers, and sleep patterns.

It makes me nervous because she has had weight problems in the past, but the doctor says that it is totally normal for her to not eat as much because of teething. Since, her gums and jaw hurt a lot, its difficult for her to want to eat. Since I’m new to this stage, I freaked out.

And of course, I know what you are thinking. You asked Google, didn’t you? Yep. I did and it turns out other moms had the same issue when it come to teething. I was really relieved. Just reading about another mom struggle or freak out about a new stage and got help from other moms, it really helped me out.

But, this is only the beginning of teething. Here we go, just about two more years of this, until she’s got all of her teeth. So not ready for this, but at least I know that I am not the only one struggling on it.

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Struggles With Weight Loss

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After you have a child, you still have the extra ‘baby fat’, as people would like to call it. But, for me, it’s completely different. I have struggled with weight loss for a very long time.

I’ve been considered ‘overweight’ ever since I was in middle school. I always got picked on and judged on how I looked that I never had any self esteem to get me motivated enough to really change.

I’ve been brought down by doctors, friends, and even some family, because of my weight. I’ve never really been motivate to find some exercise or a better diet that I feel comfortable changing or trying to do. I was one of those girls that would rather play video games than go outside.

High school, I grew to except it, but I wasn’t truly happy. I didn’t want to be thin like a toothpick. I wanted to lose the belly fat. The muffin top that made me feel like nothing would ever fit me because of it. I would change my clothes more than I could remember because I felt like I didn’t look good in them.

Until, I met my fiance. He made me fell like no matter what size I was, I was still beautiful. He helped me see past the muffin top. After having our daughter, I still have the muffin top. I’m a stay-at-home mom, it’s been difficult to do anything because I’m usually so tired in the morning and in the afternoon.

So I looked up what I could do to help me get rid of this muffin top, and keep it off, for good.

I looked up different exercises and challenges that I could try and I spotted the 30-Day Squat Challenge. I started it last Sunday, but I already notice a difference. My pants, that didn’t fit me, are slowly starting to fit me. I’m already starting to look a little smaller than I did.

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This is the Squat Challenge that I am doing. Just in case anyone is ready to make a change, just like I am.

I’m become proud of myself and excited that I’m finally doing, what took me years, to do. I want to feel what it’s like to be able to pick out clothes that actually fit, for once. I want people to notice me and not just my body size. I want to be able to love me for me.

I just started week 2 and I feel excited to do my squats every morning. I want to see if I can really finish this. I’m ready to make a change, a healthier change for not just my family, but for me.

 

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: When Do You Really Feel Ready For Another Child?

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I will always think of myself as a mom of two. Even thought, my son isn’t on this world, I always consider him, in anything. I hate having to explain to people why he isn’t here with us today.

After having our daughter, I thought that our family was complete. One boy and one girl. That’s all I’ve ever wanted, but its not like that. My fiance told me that he would like to have another child before our daughter turns two. He wants to try and hope that our next baby will be a boy.

To me, my daughter is all I really want, right now. But lately, I’ve started to change my mind. My daughter is growing up and it’s going by faster than I thought. She’s 6 months old and I already feel like her first birthday will be here before I know it.

Having another baby, will definitely keep me on my toes, but it would make our family whole again. Losing my son, I’m scared to have another baby because the next baby I have, might have the same thing my son did. Even thought it’s rare, I’ve talked to mothers who had it happen to them twice.

My fiance is basically ready to have another baby now, if I asked him. Me, I feel like I should wait until my daughter is a little older. Before you start thinking about having another baby, there are a lot of factors that you have to keep in mind.

  1. Finances: If you barely get by with having one child, a second one, might not be the best idea. You want to make sure you have the money to get the diapers, wipes, or even formula(if you are like me and can barely produce enough breast milk).
  2. Space: Right now, we are in a two bedroom trailer. Let’s face it, trailers are small and there is not a lot of room. Make sure that you have room for another baby because opposite genders can only stay in the same room until they are 4 or 5. If it’s the same gender, then you can just have your kids share a room.
  3. Daycare/Sitter: I’m lucky enough that my fiance and I don’t need to worry about daycare or a sitter, since I am a stay-at-home mom. Even if I was working, my fiance wouldn’t let me put any of our kids in daycare. Usually daycare is really pricey. Since I am a stay-at-home mom, I got offered to take care of another little girl come November. So, if you know someone that you can have watch your children, it would cost less than a daycare would.
  4. Emotionally: If you can handle the other one above, this one, is the most important. You have to be emotionally ready to have another baby. If you aren’t ready, you may just want to just take your time before you start trying. For me, it will always be a difficult time to prepare myself for another child, because of what I went through with my son.

If you ever think or feel that you aren’t ready, don’t feel pressured to do so. It’s not just your significant other’s choice, it’s also your choice. Talk to them and let them know that you aren’t ready for another one.

For me, I’m just dreading the conversation with my fiance, if and when he brings up when we should start trying, because I don’t want him to feel upset or hurt if I say ‘I’m not ready.’ My fiance is very understand and supported, he feels that he doesn’t want our daughter to be a only child. He wants them to have another sibling that they can go to high school together.

Always talk to your significant other, talking may not be the most fun thing to do, but it’s better to open up versus letting it all soak inside.

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Doctor’s Appointments

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As a mom, we have to go to a lot of appointments for our kids. The most appointments you will ever go to with your child is when they are first born to a year old. Sometimes you have to go to extra appointments that isn’t to your doctors appointment.

About a week ago, we had to take my daughter to a heart doctor, because of our past with my son having HLHS. When she was first born, she had a hole in her heart that have not closed quite yet.

When we went to the appointment, I was a relieved mama. The hole had completely closed and they didn’t want to see her back until she was 2. Appointments, like these, always get me worried because you never know if anything scary or bad could happen.

Today, my daughter has her 6 month check up and shots. Usually, it’s a normal appointment. Except, my daughter is very long, she gets that from me, and the doctor sometimes makes us come back for a ‘weight check’. Personally, if my daughter is healthy and gaining weight, I don’t see any problem.

However, doctors go by percentages on what my daughter should be gaining every time they come in for a checkup. It drives me crazy because she is gaining what she is supposed to, but because she is so long, they make it a big deal and we have to come back and pull more money out of our pocket.

I know the doctors mean well and want to make sure that our daughter is healthy, but sometimes they should just go by percentages because all babies are different. Every baby is completely different from the next. I think doctors forget about that and that they should take that into consideration versus what the percentages are saying they should be at.

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Making Time For You

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As a stay-at-home mom, I’m with my daughter 24/7. A lot of moms can’t do it because they want the social interaction. I’m one of those that if you don’t message me or call me, I rarely will text someone other than my mother or fiance.

Growing up, I never had many friends, especially now, I don’t even have a best friend, but I’m not sad anymore because she was very toxic to my life.

Anyway, I haven’t left my daughter with anyone or let her spend the night with any family members. My daughter is only 6 months old and I don’t feel comfortable enough for me to leave her with anyone yet.

It’s not that I don’t trust the family members that I would leave her with, its just some of them do not respect how I am raising my daughter. Don’t get me wrong, they mean well, but some of what they did when their kids were younger, is something that I wouldn’t do.

You are probably thinking in your head, ‘What do you do if you want some time for you if you don’t feel comfortable leaving your daughter with anyone?’. Well, what I do, is once my daughter is asleep, I’ll go out in my living room, listening it, if she screams. Either I will finish up cleaning up the house or I will relax by watching Netflix or playing video games.

Sometimes, I’ll crochet and knit or watch videos on YouTube. Or anything else that I will be able to relax, but that isn’t too loud to wake her up. Some days, I just want to read, but I usually start to fall asleep.

If you are one of those moms that can leave your children in the care of your family, they go get some time for you! Doing it every once in a while, is not bad to do, but if you are partying every night, just to escape to be a parent. If you do that, I’m not judging, but if your parting comes first, before your children, maybe you would’ve thought twice about having kids.

Us moms do need a break. I have one day that I have my fiance take care of our daughter, so that I can get stuff done or work on anything that needs to be worked on. It’s not bad to take a break, just don’t make it more important than your children.

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Should Kids Do Chores?

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On Facebook, I saw this video that talked about how a mother post pictures of her children doing chores. A lot of people were bashing this mother because she was making her children, as one had said, ‘making them slaves’.

When I was growing up, we always did chores. As soon as we got able to start understanding things, my mom would have us learn to do the simple stuff like picking up our toys or taking our dirty clothes and putting them into a hamper.

To me, this was a learning experience. It showed me how responsible it was to do them. It wasn’t because my mother was lazy or she made us do them because we were her slaves. She showed us how to do this, so that one day we would be able to do it when we were on our own.

I used to complain about doing the dishes, when I was younger, but I should’ve just done them and not complained as much. Now, I have to do them all the time. I don’t have a dishwasher, so I have to hand wash everything, not just that, but my daughters bottles too.

I think that kids, nowadays, needs to be taught that not everything will be done for you because, one day, they will have to do it by themselves. I also think that we should teach our kids the value of money and show how to save or spend.

I want to show my kids that if you work hard, you can make your dreams come true. No matter what.

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: How To Deal With Unwanted Advice

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As a mom, you will get told by everyone how to care for your child. From your family to doctors to strangers. Even before the baby’s born, you will be told how to even talk care of yourself.

With my first pregnancy, I wasn’t as vocal as I wanted to be. I’ve always been a quiet ‘keep to myself kinda person.’ So, when I became pregnant with my son, I hear about how you shouldn’t do formula or you should use a diaper genie, list goes on.

My daughter, it was completely different. I put my foot down to a lot of stuff. I’m still trying to make sure that peoples advice, doesn’t change the way I want to raise my kids. Plus, we as moms, get judged on everything.

To me, I will take the advice into consideration, but if it’s something that I, as a parent, will not do to parent my child, then I speak up. Sometimes, I can’t speak up to a family member because I’m afraid of hurting their feelings, but I have learned that when it comes to you parenting your kids, the only feeling that matters is your kids and yours.

There are three ways you can handle unwanted advise:

  1. Ignoring  it – This is what I usually do, if a stranger were to approach me with unwanted advise. I usually will nod my head. Sometimes, I do it with family, its easier to do, if you don’t want to make a big deal out or you know it will turn into a giant fight, this would be your best go to.
  2. Speaking up, in a polite way – If you are a person that voices your opinion, but don’t want to offend anyone. This would be more towards close friends, maybe family. Telling them in a polite way, will make it seem not as harsh as bluntly coming out and telling them what is what.
  3. Bluntly telling them straight up – I only go this far, if I’m frustrated. If I have had a bad day and didn’t have any coffee, I snap. I usually will only snap at family, because they have been in my shoes. Plus they understand that they would rather me snap at them versus my kids.

There is one thing that we always need to keep in mind. How we parent our kids, may not be the same as other, but we should respect how others parent. The world we live in, there are too many people judging before they know the full story, but when it comes to advise, we need to handle it as we feel comfortable.

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Should You Smoke Around Your Children?

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Back in the day, we didn’t know how bad smoking cigarettes can be. Now, you don’t see any commercials promoting cigarettes or tobacco. Still to this day, people still smoke cigarettes.

Had I smoked a cigarette before. Yes, but I didn’t smoke enough for me to become addicted to them. My fiance smokes and last year, he almost went an entire year without smoking, but unfortunately, he got back into the nasty habit.

Smoking is a very difficult thing to quit, but one thing that drives me nuts is parents who smoke around babies or children. I believe that a baby or a child shouldn’t be anywhere never or around cigarettes.

Some of you may think that its okay, just because you grew up in a time your parents smoked around you. It’s not. Second hand smoke is even worst then just smoking a cigarette. It’s even worst for babies or children to inhale it.

Even when you are in another room or holding up the cigarette away from the child, they can still inhale the second hand smoke. Especially in a car. Rolling down the windows WILL NOT prevent the smoke from getting to the child.

As a mother, who had a child with a heart condition, it’s even more fatal. I’m one of those moms that will not go into a house or car if it smells like cigarette smoke. I was never around it and I want my kids to not be around it.

I especially don’t want to hear or see my kids pretending or wanting to smoke a cigarette. I will teach my children that cigarettes are bad and that you shouldn’t be like someone just because the smoke cigarettes.

I believe that my children should be able to breathe in fresh clean air versus second hand smoke. I’ve lost family because of cigarettes, I don’t want to risk my children’s life just because someone has to have a habit that they started.

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Being a Stay-At-Home Mom

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A lot of moms don’t have the pleasure to stay home with their children nowadays. Back then, the man of the house would work, while the woman stay home and take care of the kids and make sure the house is clean.

It’s not for everyone, being a stay-at-home mom. If you are like me, and don’t have a license, then you are very limited to where you can go. (I’m working on getting it now.) The only places I can really walk to are to my mother-in-law.

It can be depressing or you can lose your mind at times, believe me, but I always get out of the house, once a week. Just so I don’t lose my mind. At times, I feel overwhelm, but I just take a deep breath and count to ten and then get back to what I’m doing.

I’ll admit that I really only have patience for my kids, but when I am around other people’s children, I really try to not lose my cool.

You might be saying that I am a terrible person for saying that, but I may not be the only one who thinks this way. Don’t get me wrong, I love my children. I just don’t like how other people raise theirs, but I don’t say anything. I keep it to myself.

Anyway, the best part of staying home, is that I get to spend all day and every day with my daughter. I don’t get to miss out on her firsts of everything. The best part, my fiance makes enough for us to do it. He busts his ass everyday to make sure that I am able to do it.

Of course that wasn’t my original plan. I had a job, and ended up getting pregnant with our daughter. I planned to go back to work, after my maternity leave, but once my daughter was born, all I could think of was that I didn’t want to miss out on her growing up.

Plus, I didn’t want someone else to raise my daughter. I wanted to be the one to witness all of her firsts. My mother missed out on watching all three of us growing up. I didn’t want to miss out on anything.

I do have to say though, being a stay-at-home mom, was the best decision I made. Once I get my license, the door will open up for me and my family. We won’t have to depend on someone to take us to where ever we want to go, but we will be able to decide whether we want to leave or go.

Posted in Mom Talk

Mom Talk: Losing Friends

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A lot of things change once you have a baby. Not only does your life change, but sometimes your friends too. They might be excited when your pregnant, but once the baby is born and you don’t have time to spend with them, things changed.

You might even drop some friends in the process. Not because they weren’t good friends, but maybe you were more mature and didn’t want to deal with their drama?

That’s how it was for me.

I have kept so many people in my life, that caused me so much drama and problems, but I should’ve been clearing them from my life and focusing what would be best for my family.

Today, I cleaned the list up, the one person I first called my ‘best friend’. I’ve known her since 8th grade. We went to high school together, had lunch together, but didn’t hang out as much like we should’ve.

We both have been through enough, but I was always there for her. As time went on, I knew that everything I was telling her, my opinion or suggestions, was going out the window. Then I realized that this was who she was:

She was unwanted drama.

Everything that I had tried to help her on, always became into drama. Now, I’m not the friend who tells you what you want to hear, I tell you what I think. She didn’t like it, but knows how blunt I can be.

After all the drama that she’s caused, I had to drop her. I sent her one last messaged and blocked her from everything. She was the only real friend I had in high school, but it was time to grow up and move on. So that’s what I did.

I was getting to mature to deal with all the ‘high school’ drama that she was starting. One after another, I was overwhelmed with drama. Not mine, with hers. I did it because I thought it was best for me.

Sometimes you have to do something you really don’t want to do, but once you have a family, you have to answer the one question that you will answer over and over again:

What is best for my family?

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I chose to do what is best. Not because I wanted to, but because I needed to. It was what was best for my little family.

‘A friend can always be replaced, but family is irreplaceable.’ – Unknown